by Lee Kilraine
“Okay, so when she fools around with the other man, you’re saying it’s not just about sex?” Dirk looked toward Sijan, the “other” man.
“Not for her, no. But, for him, it is about the sex,” Sijan said. “And the conquest. And feeling powerful when he gets a woman to break her commitments to her husband.”
Avery stood up and walked to the widow, looking out into the night. “She’s felt lonely for years, but now the emptiness is a cold, hollow cavern needing to be filled. When the other man comes along and pays her attention, she turns to it like a flower to the sun. She knows it’s a betrayal, but she doesn’t feel lonely when she’s with him. She falls in love with how he makes her feel, not him. And it’s only when he rejects her that she realizes the mistake she made.” Avery leaned her forehead against the window, feeling the coolness of the glass. “And somewhere during this whole process the husband and wife remember why they fell in love with each other in the first place.... only now it’s too late. They’ve hurt each other too much. They separate, finally loving each other again.”
She turned away from the window and moved back to the table to stand behind her chair with her hands on the wooden back. Sijan and Dirk were both staring at her.
“I told you she was good,” Dirk said, looking at her a little too enthusiastically.
Avery glanced at Sijan, whose gaze was locked on her, but his face was again unreadable. “Okay, gentlemen and Pia. I believe I’m done for the night. I’m going to follow my nose to the kitchen. I think I smell a plate of lasagna with my name on it.”
Pia rose and hooked arms with her on the way out of the room. “You did good. Do you feel like throwing up?”
“Absolutely. I’m hoping food will settle my stomach,” Avery said, her body suddenly like the Tin Man in a rainstorm when she saw the number of people in the kitchen. “Although, that didn’t work out so well this morning.”
Sijan came up behind them and made all the introductions. They had met most of his brothers and mom already, but not his dad, Seamus Cates. His mother insisted everyone call them Mama and Pop Cates as she dished out large helpings of homemade lasagna steeped in tomato sauce and melted cheese. Sourdough bread, salad, and red wine rounded out the meal.
Avery enjoyed the meal, especially once she realized she would keep it down. And aside from Dirk staring at her intently, there was only one awkward moment, when Mama Cates gushed about Avery’s debut movie, The Mermaid, and everyone else, except Sijan and Pop Cates, joined in on the gushing.
“I remember being amazed to hear you were only seventeen, Avery, and that it was your first movie.” Mama Cates shook her head. “I tried to get Sijan to go see it, since he was already into acting, but he turned his nose up at anything that wasn’t live theater back then. Didn’t you, Sijan?”
Sijan wrapped his mother in his arms from behind, dwarfing her. “Ma, we’ve already been through this. I admit I was a snotty know-it-all thespian back then.” He grabbed the piece of bread off her plate and bit in. “Mmm. Great bread, Ma.”
“I thought you were kidding about not seeing Avery’s movies,” Dirk said. “You know they’re all available on Netflix, right?”
Avery choked on her glass of wine as Sijan said, “They are?”
There went Avery’s appetite. She got up to clear her place amidst the continuing discussion of her movies.
“Tansy, that must have been a big sacrifice for you and your siblings, having your mother out with Avery in Hollywood. Or did your father take on the stage-parent job?” Mama Cates asked. “We’ve met more than a few parents of young actors that have made that sacrifice, haven’t we, Sijan?”
Sijan nodded. “Yeah, it can be tough on a family. But what else are they going to do? You can’t just send a teenager to—”
“Oh, Mom and Dad didn’t go to Hollywood with Avery,” Tansy said. “I mean, how could they? They didn’t even know she was going.”
Everyone’s head turned to Avery. Mama Cates was the first to speak. “Oh, goodness, Avery, please tell me you weren’t a runaway? I’ve heard stories like that. They don’t usually have fairy-tale endings like yours, though.”
When Pia growled and bristled next to her, Avery quickly said, “You know, it was a crazy time and so long ago. The details are fuzzy and boring. Really, it isn’t worth dredging up.”
“I love fuzzy, boring details. And, what a coincidence, Avery. You seem to have a lot of those you choose to not share.” Tynan turned his good looks on a weak, unsuspecting Tansy. “Tansy, you look like you’re good with details. What’s the secret that Avery isn’t telling us? Was she a bad girl who ran away from her trouble?”
“Oh, Avery was never bad.” Tansy appeared to have trouble breathing as she blinked up into Tynan’s magnetic gaze. “When I turned twelve, Mom and Dad made Avery my real sister by becoming Avery’s legal guardian. It was what I’d asked for. I didn’t think they could ever top that gift, but they did the very next year.”
“What did you ask for the next year?”
“A room to myself. They had to ask Avery to move out, but they arranged a room over at Uncle Mo’s house for her. Uncle Mo was kind of creepy and a drunk, but he only lived twenty minutes away.” Tansy shrugged. “Anyway, we dropped her off at Uncle Mo’s the day before my birthday. My parents only found out Avery was in Hollywood when some agent called a few weeks later wanting them to sign a contract for her.”
Silverware stopped clicking against plates, jaws stopped chewing, and conversation screeched to a halt. Avery watched the Cates family pass silent yet speaking glances at one another. “You know, sometimes the people you love have to give you a nudge, or you’ll never take a chance at a dream. Isn’t that right, Pia?”
Pia crossed her arms over her chest and refused to back her up.
“Right, well, everyone has hardships. It’s not like you can go back in time and fix them.” Avery sighed. She got it. Even though she’d lived through the experience of too little space, food, and money for too many people, Avery had to admit her heart had broken when Michelle and Bob had settled on her moving out as the solution. “I’m pretty tired. Mama Cates, dinner was wonderful. Thank you. I’ll see everyone tomorrow.”
Avery tried to make a quick exit through everyone, only to be stopped by Dirk.
“Avery, I think I can fix something in your past. I want to apologize for the way I behaved.” Dirk looked sincere, just like he had five years ago. “I was a jerk. I would never treat you like that today.”
“I don’t want to discuss it.” She tried to maintain her composure. Dirk had no effect on her anymore, but it was an awfully personal topic to discuss in front of Sijan and his whole family.
“Well, maybe you could explain why you left,” Dirk said. “You went from being the hottest young actress five years ago with everyone clamoring to get you in their movies to . . . to working with chickens. I don’t get it.”
Avery spared him a glance. “I don’t owe you an explanation.”
“I’ll give you one, Ferris. Let’s just say she’s moved from working with pigs five years ago to chickens today.” Pia stared Dirk down.
“Oh, ouch, Dirk.” Tynan grinned. “Looks like the lady isn’t a fan.”
Dirk stepped toward Avery, grabbing her forearm. “Avery, we need to talk. In private.”
“I don’t need to do anything. Except make this one movie and then leave town.” Avery stared down at Dirk’s hand on her arm. When he didn’t remove it, she shook it off and stepped back. “I wish I could say I’m looking forward to working with you, but that would be a lie.”
“So, you’re a selective liar?” Tynan took the basket of bread his mother shoved into his hands and set it on the table while keeping his gaze locked on Avery’s. “Because you sure didn’t have any trouble lying to Sijan. Or was it just another one of your fuzzy details?”
“Ty, would you give it a rest?” Sijan tossed a dish towel at him.
Avery tried to ignore them and stay quiet, but she did
feel guilty about the way she had used Sijan and all the lies she had told. Especially now, knowing it had been totally unnecessary. And, fine, maybe a public apology in front of his family was what he deserved. “Sijan, I am sorry. I’m sorry I used you, especially because it meant lying to you. I’m sorry about the whole thing. You can’t imagine how much.”
Tynan pointed at Sijan. “See, she did use you. Looks like the ex-lover boy was right.”
That caught Sijan’s attention. “Ex-lover boy?”
Avery didn’t get mad often, but hearing Dirk referred to as “lover boy” made her livid. Dirk had been the first relationship she’d attempted after the sexual assault four years earlier. It had been so terribly hard to trust again. He’d acted sweet and professed the love she’d wanted and needed to hear. It had never crossed her mind that he was lying through his teeth to get her into bed and get himself into her next big movie. And then filming had started and Dirk had proceeded to sleep with every female he could on the film set while pretending to love her. The pain had ripped her life apart. Just like with Michelle and Bob, she’d begun to wonder why she was so hard to love.
She lifted her chin. “I did not make love with Ferret Face.”
“We did too make love!” Dirk said while Tynan grinned.
“Ferret Face? Nice.”
“No. What we had was very bad sex. I know the difference now, thanks to Sijan. Thank you again, Sijan. I will never forget that.”
“Ouch. Talk about a bad dismount, Ferret Face.” Tynan grimaced.
“What? You and Sijan?” Dirk looked back and forth between the two.
“You’re welcome.” Sijan’s gaze made her knees weak.
Avery tried to gather what little dignity she had left, and turned to exit the kitchen. Only she hadn’t realized Mama Cates had been standing behind her the whole time. Her body froze and she stammered, “Mama Cates, I’m sorry you had to hear that.”
Quinn wrapped an arm around Avery’s shoulders and said, “You’ve met my fiancée, Delaney, right?” Avery nodded, remembering Delaney’s public announcement of Avery and Sijan’s sex life. “Let’s just say, Ma has been through this before.”
“Delaney announced their monkey sex in Dave’s in front of Ma.” Tynan seemed to be enjoying the memory. “Pretty soon it won’t be official for Ma until one of our girlfriends is announcing our sex life publicly.”
“Avery, dear, think nothing of it. I stopped being shocked at what my boys did when Sijan was in the third grade.” Mama Cates patted Avery’s shoulder. “Sweetheart, you look wiped out. Lord knows my boys are exhausting. Go on off to bed.”
Avery grabbed her “get out of jail free” card, quietly mumbled her good-nights, and left the kitchen.
The crowd thinned out quickly after Avery left the room. Mama, Pop, and Quinn headed home. Kaz, Jeff, and Kent hit the sack knowing they’d have a long day tomorrow. Dirk, a little down since his conversation with Avery hadn’t gone the way he’d planned, sauntered off toward his room. Tansy disappeared after mentioning she was excited to see what expensive luxury bath bubbles and lotions a movie star stocked his house with. That left Ty, Pia, and Sijan in the kitchen.
Pia looked at Sijan with a raised eyebrow and challenge in her eyes. “Well?”
“I think I’ll go watch The Mermaid in the theater.”
“Dude, the big screen. I’m in,” Tynan said. “I’ll get the popcorn.”
“I’m in too,” Pia said. “Only I’ll need alcohol and Kleenex. Because once you watch the first, you’ll need to see the rest.”
Chapter Nineteen
Sijan watched the end credits of The Mermaid scroll by with the new knowledge that Ariel Diamond was a once-in-a-lifetime talent. She was as brightly shining and multifaceted as her name. At seventeen she could have acted circles around him today. And critics considered him a strong actor. He’d been acting for almost fifteen years, and he freely admitted he’d never be the actor she had been at seventeen. He grabbed the remote control and turned the overhead lights on, but still couldn’t turn away from her fading face on the large screen.
“You know, I honestly thought she was famous for her looks,” Tynan said. “I may be ignorant about acting, but hell, was that ever good. Did you know her then, Pia?”
Pia nodded from deep in her seat. “We met her first month in Hollywood and have been best friends ever since. Well, what did you think, Mr. Movie Star?”
“Stunning.”
“Sure, the camera loves her, but I think Pia was asking about her acting.”
“That’s what I was talking about. Okay, who’s ready for the next one?” Sijan clicked through the movie library’s listings for Avery’s next movie, The Mermaid II, bringing the selection up on the big screen.
“Wait,” Pia said. “I need a drink for this.” She got up and poured herself a shot of Jack Daniel’s at the minibar on the side wall. She tossed back the shot and poured two fingers of whiskey over ice. When she turned to return to her seat, Sijan and Tynan were watching with raised brows. “Don’t judge, gentlemen, and I won’t tell you ‘I told you so’ later on.”
Tynan shrugged and settled back in his seat. “Why do I always find the crazy ones sexy?”
Sijan dimmed the lights as they settled in to watch Avery’s second film.
The second movie must have been filmed quickly after the first. Obviously the studio had wanted to capitalize on her amazing talent while she was young. Her acting was so starkly beautiful and honest, it was a joy to watch her natural, uninhibited talent. Until one scene when something changed. Something about Avery’s emotion was different.
Sijan actually stopped the movie and replayed a few scenes until he could pinpoint exactly what he was seeing. Right there. It was in her eyes. Avery’s innocence was gone. Her sparkle dimmed. But her characterization plumbed depths rarely seen on film. It was stunning. And it was tragic.
He didn’t say a thing when the movie finished. No one did. He just cued up the next one. Ariel Diamond’s third and final movie in her short career. The one she’d made with Ferris. It was as riveting as the first two. Of course she out-acted him six ways to Sunday. His female fans probably didn’t care.
Avery had a blip in this movie too. Nothing obvious, just a subtle change in chemistry between her and Ferris. Based on Ferris’s reputation and the scene in the kitchen tonight, he didn’t need to guess what had happened.
When the movie ended, Tynan grabbed the lighting control and turned the lights up high. He looked pissed. “Okay, now, I’m not an actor, but that girl was frickin’ brilliant. I’m sorry to be the one to say it, Si, but she doesn’t need you to jump-start her career.”
“No, she doesn’t.” Sijan could barely speak with his gut tied in a knot and his jaw clenched in anger. He turned toward Pia, staring at the tearstains on her face. “What happened during her second movie?”
Pia was silent for a moment, then knocked back the rest of her drink. “You’re a Hollywood insider. I bet you can figure it out.” Her voice was flavored with whiskey and bitterness.
Sijan’s gaze locked with Pia’s. And he fucking hated what he read there. He grabbed his phone and ran a quick Internet search on the cast and crew of her second movie. It didn’t take long. As soon as he saw the producer’s name, he knew.
“Goddammit.” He wanted to throw his phone against the wall, smashing it into pieces so small it became anti-matter. He wanted to grab the asshole by his throat and squeeze the life out of him. Sijan got up and stalked to the bar, pouring himself a shot of whiskey. The fire burning down his throat didn’t come close to helping, so he stopped at one and paced along the room. “Fuck. Did she get help?”
“Some woo-woo quack who only talked about her past lives and crystals.” Pia shrugged and shook the ice in her glass. “Hell, you’re probably the best therapy she’s had.”
Tynan looked back and forth between the two of them. “What am I missing here?”
“Nothing,” Sijan and Pia said together.
Sijan needed to hit something. Hard. “I’m going to the gym.” He left the room without a backward glance, heading downstairs to the gym below. Ducking into his bedroom, he changed into a pair of workout shorts, not even taking time for a shirt. The anger swirling in his gut needed an outlet. He entered the gym as the sky was easing into day outside the one wall of windows. It was only slightly surprising to find Kaz already working out. He had forgotten how little sleep his brother needed. “Figures you’re up at dawn.”
“You know me—a couple of hours here and there and I’m good. The question is, what are you doing up this early?”
“Never went to bed. I watched Avery’s movies.”
“Well, you had to, didn’t you?”
Sijan shook his head as he walked over to the line of wall hooks and retrieved his wrist wraps and boxing gloves. “Why do you always know everything before I do?”
“What do I know, Si?”
“That whatever Avery used me for, it wasn’t for her career.” Sijan focused on winding the protective wrap around his wrists and hands before slipping on his boxing gloves.
“Have you asked her what she does for a career?”
“What?” That made him pause, then stop altogether. “Why the hell didn’t I ask her?”
Kaz looked at him closely. “Because in the beginning you thought you knew her answer, and you didn’t want to hear it. Now? My guess is because it doesn’t matter.”
“No, it doesn’t. I look in her eyes, and I’m in. I touch her hand, and I’m in. I see her smile and—shit. I’ve turned into Quinn.”
“Not quite, Si. But keep going. You’re warm and getting warmer. Close to red-hot, I’d say.” Kaz smiled a knowing smile.
He stared at his brother, a cold chill running up the back of his neck. “Holy crap. I’m falling in love.”
Kaz pretended to shake his Magic 8-Ball next to his head and turn it over to read. “All signs point to yes.”
Sijan took a breath and waited for the suffocating feeling to creep into his lungs. Nothing. Huh. “So far, so good. Okay. Except for the fact that she’s pissed that I accused her of trying to get pregnant with my baby for monetary gain, and she hates anything associated with Hollywood, and for a damn good reason, and the small—really little, actually, when you set it in the scheme of things—part where I accused her of using me to re-launch her acting career . . .”