by Lee Kilraine
Sijan grabbed the controllers from the table, dimmed the lights, and cued up the movie.
Jerry didn’t say a word during the short film. Not one word. When it was over and Sijan turned the lights back on, Jerry looked shell-shocked. He sat for a full minute staring at the blank screen. “You’re right. I didn’t want to see that. I might just cry myself to sleep for years over what a missed golden opportunity this is. And I do mean golden, as in Oscar gold.”
Sijan shook his head. “It’s not what she wants. And it hurts her. It’s gut wrenching to watch such art and beauty knowing the pain that caused it. So, no.”
Jerry sighed and Sijan saw his lips count to ten. “At least let me know who wrote the screenplay. Maybe I can sign them.”
“Oh, hell, you never read the script when you went back to L.A.?” Sijan raked a hand through his hair.
“Hey, I had a couple of days of phone calls, trying to bribe all the interested parties to keep their schedules open. Begging was involved. And groveling and you know I hate groveling.” Jerry scowled at him. “Then the phones exploded with the contract negotiations for Avery and—” He stopped talking, sat back in his theater seat, and stared at Sijan. “You wrote the script. Son of a bitch, when were you going to tell me you wanted to write instead of act?”
“One year ago.”
“Oh, right.”
“Sijan? Are you in here?” Avery’s voice came from the doorway, which sat behind the row of plush theater seats. “I woke up and you were gone. Along with the dogs. Is everything okay?”
Sijan stood up, turned toward the door, and brought Roscoe out from under his shirt so Avery could see the dogs were fine. “Everything’s fine, sweetheart. Come on in. Jerry’s here and he brought us some good news. Right, Jerry?”
Avery walked in, looking a little flustered but sexy as hell in his black bathrobe. He kissed her when she got to their row of seating, then grinned as he watched her blush and flash a lopsided smile over at Jerry. She cleared her throat and took Roscoe out of Sijan’s arms to cuddle him on her lap in the chair next to Sijan’s. “Is the good news that the contracts are null and void?”
“No, sorry. The good news is there are no rules about what or how long your film project has to be.” Jerry looked pained to have to say that. “Avery, I hope you won’t take offense, but I just watched your short film. You’re a world-class actor. That movie right there could win an Oscar for best short film. Are you sure—”
“Yes. I really am.” Avery shook her head. “I’m pretty sure Pia saved my life five years ago when she took me out of Hollywood. I was a mess. Depressed, crying all the time, overeating until I couldn’t hold food down, and then the panic attacks started.” Peewee sat up with a whine and placed her head on Avery’s lap.
“Pia and I created this nice little life for ourselves. Out of the spotlight, where we’ve been leading normal lives.” Avery looked at Sijan. “I’ve felt happy and safe these last few years. Maybe for the first time since I was five, and I don’t want to give that up. I can’t.”
Jerry nodded in rueful acceptance. “Understood. Promise me this though, Avery . . . if, a few years from now—hell, even twenty years from now—if you change your mind, would you do me the honor of letting me represent you?”
“Sure. Just don’t hold your breath,” Avery said.
Sijan exhaled the breath he’d been holding. A small part of him had been hoping she’d say yes to acting again. Not so he could act with her, although he damn well would be the first actor she’d work with if that day ever arose. No, a yes would have given him hope that she’d consider a future with him. He was worried that now they were finished filming, she’d go about carving all things Hollywood out of her life again. Starting with him.
“Moving on, now we have to decide on a project,” Sijan said. “Whatever you want, Avery.”
“Well, ever since this started, I thought it was such a shame to throw something on screen that wouldn’t mean anything.” Avery shook her head. “No, that’s not what I mean. Because that screenplay is brilliant, and on film it makes a powerful statement about love and life.”
“It sure does,” Jerry said.
“I guess I mean it won’t do anything. It doesn’t have a silver lining.”
“Tell that to Ferris.” Jerry looked pained.
“I am not giving up my life to help Ferris’s career.” Avery eyed them both as if daring either man to argue with her.
“Hell no, you’re not. So, did you come up with a silver lining?” Because Sijan sure had, and he was looking at her. Working with her these past three weeks had given them time to get to know each other. If both of their contracts hadn’t been bought out, forcing them to work together, it would have been “Good-bye, Sijan” the day after he’d met Petey. His idiocy had hurt her deeply. She’d shuttered and locked her heart, ready to see Climax in her rearview mirror. Just like she’d dealt with her painful life in Hollywood. If he ever got to meet whoever had bought those contracts, he’d kiss them.
“I did. I was thinking . . . what could the three of us do on film that would provide that silver lining? How could we make this something truly positive?”
“And?”
“And I can’t get those faces from the pound out of my head. All the dogs and cats we couldn’t save.” Avery ran one hand down Roscoe’s back and reached out to scratch Peewee behind an ear. “What if we filmed a commercial to encourage adopting shelter animals? Maybe even rolled it out as a whole ad campaign to spay and neuter your pets.”
“I like it. Extra points if we can put Ferris in an animal costume.”
Jerry shook his head. “But, Avery, that doesn’t showcase your acting.”
“Exactly.”
***
What’s hotter than a gorgeous man with a puppy? Two gorgeous men with a lot of puppies. And kittens and baby bunnies. At least that was Avery’s theory when she put together the idea for the commercial. Pia planned the wardrobe and dressed them in worn faded blue jeans and bare feet. She wanted to go with bare chests, and Avery could certainly see why, but this was a message for the whole family, so Pia compromised on slightly tight T-shirts. Whoa, baby.
Roscoe and Peewee snuck into the commercial since whenever Sijan was nearby they clung to him like barnacles to a ship. They tried to keep the ad fun and informative, making use of the sexy movie star angle with a few close-ups of big, innocent puppy eyes and kittens meowing. Seeing Roscoe and Peewee shaking and shivering on Sijan’s lap as his deep voice said, “Please, spay and neuter your pets. If you care about animals, it’s the right thing to do” gave it just the right heart-tugging touch.
The camera panned wide to take in the frisky chaos of all the animals pouncing on each other and the men as they laughed at their hilarity. Standing in the background was a female veterinarian dressed in scrubs with a surgical cap and mask. The large lop-eared rabbit she held was obscuring her face even further, but honestly who would be looking at the vet in the background with the yummy concoction of hot men and cute furry animals they’d dished out?
Dirk wrapped it up by looking into the camera saying, “Tell your vet Dirk and Sijan sent you.” The camera pulled back as older dogs and cats overran the set, and the men laughed under a pile of dogs and cats. Then the camera view faded to black as an overlaid phone number appeared with the sound of male laughter and two well-timed barks from Roscoe.
“That’s a wrap.”
Avery pulled the surgical mask off her face to reveal her big huge smile. “Thank you, everyone. I feel much better about turning this in to fulfill our contracts, don’t you?”
Dirk moaned, unable to stand up with all the animals still climbing on him. “Avery, is this punishment for what a jerk I was five years ago? Because I apologized for that weeks ago. I’m sorry. I don’t see how this is going to help my career.”
“That’s because you’re not thinking outside of the box, Ferris. This ad will make you more likeable, not just a sex symbol. People will thin
k you actually care about animals and they’ll start to think you’re deep,” Sijan explained as he calmly de-kittened himself. “And if you’re a smart actor, then you should have learned a lot from working with Avery the last three weeks, because she gave a hell of a lesson.”
“You’re telling me that because of this commercial I’ll be more likable and deep, and I’ll get more consideration for roles, and a bigger fan base?”
Pia rolled her eyes. “Yes, Ferris, that is totally why we all made this commercial.”
Dirk ignored Pia. “Okay, then for now, I forgive you, Avery. No hard feelings, okay?”
“Okay, Dirk.” Avery grinned. “No hard feelings. So you can’t hold it against me that a puppy just lifted his leg and is about to . . . oops, pee down your back.”
Chapter Twenty-four
Avery couldn’t stop smiling. The look on Dirk’s face when he felt the warm trickle down his back! She’d never been a vengeful person, but that face alone sure made her feel ready to finally forgive him. Sure, he’d been a jerk five years ago, but honesty compelled her to admit that her gullibility had made her an easy mark. She was getting better. She certainly wasn’t as susceptible today as she had been a few years ago, even.
Except when it came to her family. Case in point: Tansy was still staying at Sijan’s because Avery couldn’t say no when her sister had begged her to stay.
She’d used Sijan and given up her hard-earned privacy to help save Tansy. Who didn’t need saving. If only she’d listened to Pia. Pia had tried to warn her, but she couldn’t stop herself. She remembered what it felt like to be loved. Her parents, her real parents, had loved her. Their loss had left a gaping hole, and she’d been wandering around in the lonely void of it ever since.
Her mother was tinkling laughter and rose perfume. Her father, the scent of the outdoors and a deep-timbered voice. Her mother, loving kisses, and her father, a secure embrace. And from both, an overwhelming feeling of being wanted. And being loved. Then in one horrific moment they had been ripped away. It seemed she’d been chasing after love ever since. Like a child whose balloon got torn from her sticky hand by a fierce wind, and she could only watch as it floated higher and farther away until it disappeared from the atmosphere. From her world.
Michelle and Bob had taken her in, and as time helped soothe the shock and loneliness, she’d turned toward her new parents expecting that same love and security she had known. It wasn’t there. Michelle had said that she couldn’t love a child who cried all the time.
So Avery learned to cry only at night, silent tears under her covers. She tried to smile more, but the more she smiled, the more she waited for Michelle and Bob to love her the way they loved Tansy. That didn’t happen. Her young mind reasoned that maybe parents only have enough love for one child. But they were able to love Tommy and Tracie when they came along two years later. So she spent the next eleven years trying to fix whatever it was that made her unlovable. Trying to be perfect. Until they asked her to move out.
But some twisted part of her heart had still held out hope that one day they’d love her.
Gullible all right. Aaand now she was no longer smiling. Way to stomp on your own flower garden. She also wanted to eat a bowl of ice cream. A big one. No. Sijan had taught her how to work out to release her stress, so that was what she’d do. She quickly slipped into workout clothes and made her way to the gym.
The door to the gym was open, the way it usually was. Sijan was in the gym, where she usually found him this time of day. Only he stood with his back pressed up against the wall, his arms and hands splayed out against it as if holding it up, and plastered up against Sijan . . . was Tansy. That was unusual. She actually tripped on the gym mat when she saw them, and a flashback from five years ago sliced through her brain. Her heart lurched as she watched Tansy wrap around Sijan’s hard-muscled body like a boa constrictor around its prey. She was about to turn around and walk out, feeling like a boa constrictor was squeezing her heart, but then she noticed Sijan’s face.
She’d seen the man’s face up close in the throes of passion. That wasn’t his passionate face. No, it looked like he was signaling her frantically with his eyes. He was keeping his hands as far away from Tansy’s body as possible, but that meant he couldn’t get her off of him. She was a leech on his lips.
“Tansy, I didn’t know you were CPR qualified.”
Her sister unlatched her lips with a squeak and spun around, looking like a child caught sneaking candy before dinner. “Avery! I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“See what? What do you think I saw?”
Sijan sent her a frantic look. “You know what you didn’t see, right? Just because I was an idiot jumping to stupid conclusions doesn’t mean you should be. You are much more cool-headed than I am. And you saw where my hands were, and more specifically, where they weren’t.”
“That’s probably true. But, when it comes to my family”—Avery walked over to stand in front of her sister so she could look directly in her eyes—“I’m very gullible, aren’t I, Tansy?”
“N . . . no.” Tansy blinked and wrapped her arms around her middle. “I didn’t mean to, but he smiled at me and I swear it was an ‘I want to make mad, passionate love to you’ smile.”
Sijan snorted. “Avery, no way are you that gullible.”
“She loves me.” Tansy shrugged and pushed her brittle hair off one shoulder.
“I do, but right now I don’t much like you.” Avery had clung to the idea of a loving sister for too long. Thinking back, she couldn’t recall a single loving act from Tansy since before Avery had left for Hollywood ten years ago. “It’s taken me a while to accept that you’ve been using me the last few years. But now? You need to leave.”
“Fine.” Tansy’s body stiffened and the smile disappeared from her face. “I’ll see you at dinner then.”
“No.” Avery shook her head. “I mean you have to leave the farm. Now. Sijan, can Tynan give her a ride into town? Maybe even to the bus station?”
“You bet.” Sijan stepped over to pick up his cell phone and make arrangements.
Tansy’s eyes teared up. “Avery, if you throw me out, Mom won’t want to come visit.”
“I’ve lived for too many years waiting for crumbs of affection from Michelle.” Another idea she’d clung to for too long. Avery swallowed, her throat feeling like a clogged rusty pipe. “But even I have finally figured out I can stop waiting for a show of motherly love.”
Not one peep out of Tansy. No denial or platitude. No more pretending table scraps were a meal.
“Good-bye, Tansy.” Avery turned and walked into Sijan’s arms, hanging on to him to keep from falling apart. Her chest hurt like it had been stuck with a thousand needles, more than a few making a direct hit on her heart. She clung to the heat of Sijan’s body, not wanting to let go. Absorbed the press of his lips to the top of her head and wished she could stay wrapped forever in the safe harbor of his arms.
Chapter Twenty-five
Avery didn’t see Sijan much over the next few days. He and Kaz were editing the commercial, and she felt obligated to stay until they turned the commercial over and their contracts were fulfilled. This time, she wanted to know the life chapter called “Hollywood” was truly over. Although “over” was a relative term since the paparazzi were still camped outside the gates of Sijan’s farm, three weeks later.
While they waited, Avery and Pia spent time working and watching movies in Sijan’s theater. She hadn’t watched any movies in years, so they started by rewatching some of the classics like Casablanca, The Philadelphia Story, Chinatown, Star Wars, Snow White, and Rocky.
And then they found Sijan’s movies. Pia had seen them all. Avery, none of them. That was quickly rectified. The man could act. And all that wicked-sexy charisma that he exuded in real life somehow expanded on the large screen. In huge, delicious, seat-squirming scenes. She lost her breath and composure during the love scenes. Pia found that wildly amusing, but Avery knew how to quie
t Pia’s laughter.
“That scene doesn’t even come close to real life.”
“You bitch. If I didn’t love you, I’d hate you.”
***
One evening, Avery was already in her sleep tank and drawstring pajama pants when someone knocked on her door. Her pulse fluttered, anticipating Sijan checking in from wherever he had been all day. The fluttering screeched to a halt when she found Dirk on the other side of the door.
“Oh, hey, Dirk. I thought you left for L.A. a few days ago.” She turned around to slip on the robe from the chair next to her bed, only to turn back around and find Dirk had followed her into the room.
“I’ve been helping Sijan and Kaz. I wanted to make sure you guys weren’t bullshitting me about the commercial making me look good.”
Avery moved back to the door, swinging it open it all the way before turning to raise her brow at him. “And? The verdict?”
“I look great. But I look even better in the movie we made.” Dirk attempted to use his movie-star grin on her. “Come on, Avery, help an old friend out.”
“I did, Dirk. As much as I can.” She tightened the belt on the robe. “And maybe more than you deserve.”
Dirk stepped up close to her and reached out, grabbing the ends of the belt to pull her closer. “Aw, Avery, don’t hold a grudge, babe. I was an idiot back then. I think you should give me another chance. I’ve changed since then.”
Avery looked over his classically good-looking face, remembering a time years ago when it had made her heart beat faster. He was better looking today than he had been five years ago. More mature, his face more lived in. But he didn’t even rate a blip on an EKG for her anymore. He’d probably always be a selfish man. “Congratulations, but I don’t care. I don’t need to give you another chance because I don’t plan on seeing you again.”