“Because they were about eight hundred miles away, and I had two little cubs and no money. All I could think about was survival, right then and there. Besides, no one had been happy with me accepting Magnus’s mate-claim, and we’d never gone through the sun and moon ceremonies. Magnus didn’t think they were necessary.” She sighed. “You know what it means that I couldn’t go back to my clan? Means I couldn’t have a Guardian send his body to dust. I had to burn him.”
Joe knew that when Shifters died, a Shifter called a Guardian stuck a sword through the dead Shifter’s heart. Apparently, they believed that this released the soul to the next life. Burial or cremation in the human form was anathema to them. Joe imagined the poor woman, two little kids clinging to her, having to make a decision to dispose of the body that went against all her beliefs. Must have been rough.
Cormac came forward and put his hands over both of Nell’s, his engulfing hers. “I am so, so sorry. I wish I could have found you then. But at least I’ve found you now.”
“Yeah? Well you’re about a hundred and thirteen years too late.”
“No.” Cormac’s voice was steady. “It’s never too late to not be alone.”
Nell studied Cormac with a kind of wide-eyed daze that was almost panic. “I’m used to being alone. I’ve done everything alone.”
“You might be used to it, but you don’t like it. You can’t lie to me, Nell. I can read you, and I can scent you. What I’m sensing is a Shifter who likes to take care of everyone, but doesn’t do many things for herself.”
“Hey, I get out. I come here. I’ve had a sex life, thank you very much. My boys are embarrassed about it.”
“Not the same thing as letting yourself look for happiness. Before you kick me out on my ass, give me a chance to help you find that happiness.”
Nell went silent. Shane and Brody sure were taking a long time fetching the drinks, and Joe saw the pain in Nell’s eyes when she glanced at the bar as though looking for her sons.
This guy Cormac was pouring out his heart. In Joe’s opinion, he was rushing Nell a little—sounded like he’d read some letter her mate had written and he’d showed up here because of it. Amazing how they talked about a century here, a century there, like humans talked about years. Must have been hard on her, being a Shifter way back then, when Shifters had hidden their true natures, especially with kids to take care of.
Joe watched them out of the corner of his eye as he took another sip of beer. Both the Shifters wore Collars, and both were larger than humans, but they looked right together. They fit. With their fingers entwined, Nell looking at their joined hands, Cormac’s gaze fixed on Nell, Joe figured it was only a matter of time.
Cormac tugged Nell a little closer. “Tell you what. Why don’t we dance a little?”
Nell looked up, not liking that. “If we leave before Brody and Shane get back, we’ll lose the table.”
“There are other tables.” Cormac laughed. “You know half the people here. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind sharing.”
“I do know half the people here. And they’ll see me dancing around like a fool.”
“Not like a fool.” Cormac pressed a kiss to her hair. “Come on. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”
Nell looked up at him, then took on a look of defiance. “All right. See if you can keep up.”
“I love a challenge, darlin’.”
Cormac led her away, walking in front of her—Shifter males always went first to scope out any danger. But he held her hand all the way.
Joe lifted his beer in a silent toast. He hoped they worked it out. They made a good couple.
As they disappeared into the mass of dancers on the floor, Joe’s thoughts returned to his plans to kill Shane. Nell’s story was heartbreaking, but twenty thousand dollars was twenty thousand dollars.
Chapter Four
Cormac could dance. He could dance, he could kiss, and he had a smile that lit up the room. It wasn’t fair.
The dance was a quick one. But instead of shaking himself around like the humans or the younger Shifters, Cormac kept hold of Nell’s hands, pulled her close, and spun around with her. He swung her out and then back to him, never missing a step.
Nell found herself against his chest again, with his hands on the small of her back. He was a solid wall of male, strong and steady, a rock in a whirling maelstrom.
Raking up her pain about Magnus was breaking something open inside her. It was too long ago—she’d moved on. She’d managed to survive after Magnus’s death because she’d had to. Shane and Brody had needed her.
Once humans had discovered that shape-shifters existed and herded them into Shiftertowns, Nell’s past had receded, becoming a distant world. She’d found a new life, her sons had better chances of finding mates, and she looked forward to settling down and dandling her grandkids on her knees.
Now Cormac was messing with her head. She hated thinking about Magnus lying dead, shot multiple times through the head with the large revolver he’d bought. One shot wasn’t always enough to kill a Shifter. Magnus had shot himself until he’d collapsed, and then he’d bled to death on the bank of a river.
The pain of that was nothing Nell wanted to remember.
Cormac swung her around again in the dance, then she ended up once more against his chest.
He smelled of perspiration and himself, warmth and spice. Nell’s anger wound through her still, and she wanted to lash out at him, claws and all, for causing it.
At the same time, she wanted to sink into his warmth, where nothing mattered but the music and the dance. The noise was a cushion of sound, isolating them, the darkness keeping everyone else in shadow.
Nell risked everything and let her head rest on his shoulder.
Cormac rubbed his hand through her hair, slowing the dance. Nell moved with him, closing her eyes.
Nice to have someone to lean on. Nell had relied on herself alone for too long.
The music faded, segued into another song, and blared again. Faster this time. Shifters yelled and started whirling, including her son Brody, who’d snagged a young Feline for the dance.
It was too much. Too much sound, too many scents, too many bodies.
Bears were meant to live in the quiet of deep woods, near the cool of a mountain river. What the hell was Nell doing in Las Vegas, in the middle of a pile of Shifters, dancing at a club?
“Want to get out of here?” Cormac said, his voice warm in her ear.
“Please,” Nell said breathlessly.
His hand closed over hers, sure and comforting, taking her out of this place into the chill darkness and blessed quiet of the winter night.
“You all right?”
The parking lot outside the club was freezing, and Nell had nothing but the little wrap that came with the dress, but Cormac was beside her, his warmth cutting the cold of the January wind. This was the Mojave Desert, blistering in the summer, but it could turn bone-cold in the winter.
“What do you think?” Nell asked.
“I know what you need.”
“Don’t you dare say a good roll in the hay.”
Cormac frowned, as though that had been the last thing on his mind. “No, you need to get away and go for a run. Come on. I know a place.”
“How can you know a place? You just got here.”
He shrugged. “Eric and his mate told me about a place. In case we needed somewhere to be alone.”
“Eric is an interfering pain in the ass.”
“He’s Shiftertown leader. Being an interfering pain in the ass is kind of his job.”
Cormac kept hold of Nell’s hand but walked her on toward his truck, a secondhand F-150 he’d picked up just today. Shane had insisted they all come here in it. They’d looked ridiculous, three large bear Shifters in the cab, Shane lounging in the back. Nell was sure the drivers they’d passed had
laughed their asses off.
“How will Shane and Brody get home?” Nell asked as Cormac unlocked the door.
“Somehow, I think your sons will be just fine. Half of Shiftertown is here. They’ll catch a ride.”
Yes, Shane and Brody were pretty good at taking care of themselves. Brody was one of Eric’s trackers—he helped Eric look into problems and acted as a bodyguard if necessary. Shane performed similar tasks for Nell, the highest-ranking bear in Shiftertown.
Where would Cormac come into the hierarchy? Dominance shifts were a huge problem when new Shifters moved into Shiftertowns. Things still hadn’t shaken down from the Lupines moving in. The Lupine leader was a big wolf Shifter called Graham, who’d been his Shiftertown leader before that Shiftertown was closed. Graham and Eric had come to an agreement not to battle for dominance, but the tension still ran through Shiftertown.
Cormac didn’t seem worried about dominance, hierarchy, or any other annoyances of Shifter life. He drove confidently away from Coolers and up the Boulder Highway to 95 and north out of town, before turning onto a smaller highway that led toward the mountains.
In January, Mount Charleston and the surrounding peaks would be packed with snow, and Nell was in a close-fitting black party dress with a tiny shawl, and heels. She was already shivering.
“I didn’t bring my skis,” she said as Cormac started winding to higher elevations.
“Bears don’t ski.” Cormac laughed, a warm sound that filled the truck. “But I’d love to see it. Wouldn’t that video go around the Internet?”
“Don’t be stupid.” Nell growled because she wanted to laugh. The vivid picture of Shane, in his bear form, his Collar around his neck, skiing downhill with poles and everything—maybe a little woolly hat on his head—flashed through her thoughts. Knowing Shane, he’d wave a big bear paw at her as he went by. Look at me, Ma! He’d always been such a show-off.
Nell folded her arms over her chest and pretended to be grumpy. “You haven’t told me exactly where we’re going.”
The pickup bumped over ruts, the piles of snow on the side of the plowed road growing larger as they climbed. “Cabin that belongs to Eric’s mate. Iona said if we needed to get away and be alone, I could grab the key from her and come up here anytime. I like her.”
“Yes, Iona is very generous.”
Cormac looked sideways at her. “You know, someday, you’re going to break down and enjoy yourself.”
“I enjoy myself all the time. I’m the queen of enjoying myself. Driving up the mountain in a deep freeze while I’m wearing a small dress isn’t my definition of enjoyment.”
“You’re a bear, Nell. You love the cold. Don’t tell me you don’t miss northern winters.” He let his hands relax on the wheel, head back on the headrest. “Snow like a layer of cloud, unbroken, untracked. Stillness so vast you can hear snow sliding from a tree branch two miles away. Curling up in a den in blissful solitude, warm and safe, while the world falls silent around you. I love hibernation—great time to catch up on reading.”
Nell did remember the emptiness of the land in northern Canada, the cold that destroyed and yet was beautiful at the same time. She’d lead Shane and Brody through the winter wonderland, where they’d ice fish and then cook it in the little brick house they’d built themselves. In spite of Nell having no mate to help her out, there still had been some good times. Her sons were bundles of love, and as little cubs, they’d been adorable.
They still were adorable, and didn’t they get embarrassed when she said so?
Cormac left the main road behind and drove along a half-plowed road, his tires spinning a bit about every ten yards. He finally pulled into a clearing, parked in front of a cabin with large windows and a deep porch, and turned off the truck. All was darkness and silence. Peaceful.
Nell followed Cormac into the cabin, where he adjusted the heat settings and built a fire in the fireplace.
The cabin had a large living area and one bedroom downstairs, and a second floor with two doors—bedrooms with a bathroom between them. She knew that Eric and Iona often drove up here for privacy, which was hard to come by in Shifter houses, and he invited others up here when they needed quiet time, but Nell had never come. This was Eric’s territory, and Nell wouldn’t invade it.
Apparently, Cormac had no such worries. He coaxed the fire to start, then rummaged in the refrigerator and freezer, finding beer, water, and plenty of frozen dinners.
“Iona keeps the place well stocked,” he said admiringly.
“Iona and Eric come up here a lot, as do Cassidy and Diego, and Iona’s human family. In fact, I’m surprised to find the place empty.”
“Eric said he’d keep everyone away.”
Nell planted her hands on her hips. She opened her mouth to yell at him, then she exhaled, letting her body unclench. Why bother? Cormac and Eric had obviously planned this little excursion, probably had laughed about how Nell would react.
“Eric is going to be picking his teeth out of the carpet for a long time,” Nell said.
“Eric’s a good guy, for a Feline.”
“Felines are sneaky,” Nell growled. “Too sneaky for their own good.”
“That’s why I prefer bears.” Cormac came around the kitchen counter to her and rested his hands on her waist. “Especially a sweet, lovely, warm female bear who tells it like it is.”
“No one tells it plainer than I do,” Nell said.
“Glad to hear it.”
His hands on her waist were warm, distracting. Somehow there was less distance between them, his body an inch from hers. Nell’s breasts touched his chest when she took a deep breath.
“I don’t want to talk about anything,” she said. “I don’t want to talk about Magnus, or why he killed himself, or what happened to me after that. Or the letter, or why you decided to find me. All right?”
Cormac’s eyes had darkened to his bear’s, his smile gone but his mouth still soft. “All right.”
“You agreed easily.”
“I know when to shut up.”
Nell swallowed, her voice softening. “All this digging up the past, it hurts me.”
“I know.” Cormac skimmed his hands up her arms to her shoulders, his face now closer to hers. Unshaved whiskers, black against his tanned skin, glistened in the growing firelight.
“I don’t want to have sex with you,” Nell said, the words difficult. “Not right now. I’m too upset.”
“I know.”
Cormac’s hands warmed her, and so did his eyes. The heating system came on, brushing toasty air through the cabin, and the fire started to crackle.
Cormac’s lips warmed her even more. Nell let him kiss her, not fighting, not pulling away. Kissing was fine. Not dangerous. Not heartbreaking.
At least, it never had been before.
Cormac coaxed her lips open as his hands moved to her back. Nell clenched her fists at her sides as his skilled tongue dipped inside her mouth, licking the moisture from behind her lower lip.
The taste of him, a new sensation, heated her, opened her. Her body warmed as the room lost its edge of cold, her muscles relaxing whether she liked it or not.
She was too old for this. Nell was in command of her body, her mind, her emotions. Always. She had to be. Fun was one thing. Becoming a blubbering idiot was something else.
As he kissed her, Cormac’s hands closed over hers, caressing, easing them open. He twined his fingers through hers—blunt, callused fingers that held the strength of ages.
Heat gathered at the base of her spine. She wanted to flow against him, to reach for him with her whole body.
“No,” she whispered.
“I’m only kissing you.” Cormac’s breath was hot on her lips. “That’s all, Nell.”
She liked how he said her name. A plain, short syllable, but his voice rumbled it and filled the empty
spaces.
“All right,” she said softly. “Kissing only.”
Cormac smiled, his eyes glittering in triumph, and Nell’s heart squeezed.
Cormac kissed like he danced. He started a rhythm of small kisses across her lower lip, gentle ones on the corners of her mouth, nibbles where he’d kissed her.
His whiskers rubbed her chin, then her cheek when he took the kisses to her cheekbone, the bridge of her nose. Nell struggled to breathe. When she inhaled, she got the scent of him, a male wanting a female, and the nice, clean smell of his breath.
He kissed her cheek again, and she felt the touch of his tongue. He brushed kisses and little licks all the way to her earlobe, then came the small prick of his teeth.
She sucked in another breath. “Kissing only, I said.”
“This is kissing.” His voice tickled deep inside her ear. “And this.” He touched kisses to the shell of her ear, then her temple, her forehead.
Nell closed her eyes. He’d released her hands somewhere during the kissing, and she now clutched the fabric of his shirt. She tried to make herself let go and couldn’t.
Cormac kissed the tip of her nose, smiling as he did it. The man smiled too much. He had to stop that, because he made her want to smile back.
He touched kisses to her mouth again, this time interspersing them with little licks. Every lick sent a stream of fire through her, her female spaces responding with answering fire.
Nell’s mouth opened for him, her lips shaping to his. Cormac swept his tongue into her mouth, continuing the dance. He licked behind her teeth and under her tongue, tangling with her, tasting her.
He gently pulled back, taking away his talented mouth, leaving Nell bereft.
“Now you kiss me,” Cormac said.
“What?” Since when did her voice shake so much? “I have been.”
“No. I kissed you. It’s your turn.”
“We aren’t cubs,” Nell tried.
Cormac’s laugh was soft and low. “Do you see anyone here who cares?”
They were alone. Quite alone. Up here on the mountain, shielded by a blanket of snow, there was no one to see them, no one coming. Eric, the rat, had probably warned everyone in Shiftertown to stay away.
Perfect Mate Page 4