by Sophie Stern
This is where is he tells me that everything is going to be okay.
This is the part where he pretends to understand.
“That sucks, Kasey. I’m sorry you went through that.”
What?
He doesn’t offer me sympathy. He doesn’t pretend to understand. Is it weird that I kind of love him for this? Even Bailey, as much as I love her, always offers me weird pieces of advice that I can’t really use. She always means well, of course, but I think if you haven’t gone through something dark like this, you can’t really know what it feels like. You can’t really know the pain that squeezes your soul until you can’t breathe.
“Me too.”
“Should I try to cheer you up?”
“How would you do that?”
“Would it make you feel better to know how much you turned me on during our date?”
“It was a date?”
“Don’t play coy with me, Kasey. We both know it was a date.”
“I know,” I whisper, even though I barely let myself believe it. It was a date. It was totally, absolutely, completely a date. There’s still part of me that thinks it can’t be real. Part of me believes that James couldn’t possibly like me.
Isn’t that how these things work?
No one wants a broken doll to play with when they can have a brand new one. No one wants a damaged person when they can find someone who is in pristine condition.
Maybe James isn’t looking for perfection, though.
Maybe he wants someone who understands what it’s like to hurt.
I definitely understand what it’s like to hurt.
“Were you turned on?” He asks.
“A little.”
“Try again.”
“A lot.”
“Me too. When you said you like to suck cock, I pictured you on your knees beneath the table, blowing me right there in the restaurant.”
“But would you have pulled my hair? That’s what I want to know.”
“Fuck, Kasey. Hell, yes, I would have pulled your hair.”
I start to rub my thighs together as I think about what it would have felt like. Most of the guys I’ve been with were too gentle for my likes. It’s not that I’m into anything rough, really, but I like a little bit of a sting with my pleasure. Pleasure with a bite, if you will. I like that little aftertaste of pain when I come. Something tells me James would be able to give that to me.
“And then?” I ask. Slowly, my hand moves of its own accord. Over my breasts and down my stomach.
“I would have made you stay down there, licking my cock, sucking my balls. I would have pushed my dick so far down your throat you almost choked, then I’d make you suck it some more. Is that what you want to hear?”
“What else?” I’m breathless now, aroused beyond comprehension. We went from deep to dirty in a matter of seconds. Being with James is already such a rush that I can’t imagine what being with him in bed would be like. If it’s this good just to talk to him, what would being fucked by him be like?
“Then I’d pull you up, Kasey. I’d pull you up and bend you over the table.”
“In the middle of the restaurant?”
“In the middle of the fucking restaurant. I’d pull that dress up over your waist and yank your panties down to your knees, then I’d slide my dick into your tight cunt and I’d fuck you.”
My fingers are running over my clit, rubbing and playing and pinching. I’m so close I’m barely breathing. Just a little bit more, just a little bit more and I’ll come undone.
“I want to fuck you, Kasey. It might not be tonight and it might not be tomorrow, but I’m going to fuck you. I’m going to make you come harder than you’ve ever come before.”
And then I come.
Harder than I’ve ever come before.
Chapter 5
Kasey
My alarm beeps way too early. Fortunately, I’m lucid enough not to throw my phone across the room. I might be able to afford missing a dance class, but I definitely can’t afford a new phone.
I should really get to dance class, though. It’s been a couple of days since I felt my heart pumping and my legs aching. I might not be one of the top dancers at Club Kitten, but it’s one of the best damn places in the world to me Nothing really compares to the way I feel when I’m climbing that pole.
When I’m there, I’m powerful.
I’m beautiful.
I’m strong.
When I’m hanging upside down, the world is so far beneath me that nothing else matters. The only thing that matters is grip, balance, poise. The only thing that matters is making sure I pose perfectly after each move, that I make my performance look as graceful and easy as possible.
The easier a dance looks, the harder is it.
Sliding out of bed, I pull on a bra and tank top. My lime green booty shorts are around here somewhere. I rummage around until I see them on the desk and yank those on over my bright pink panties. My butt is going to be a rainbow of color today, but that’s just fine.
Yanking on my clothes, I take a look at myself in the mirror. I could be critical right now, but I won’t. My eyes have dark circles under them. Ugly? Nah. I just like to have fun. And I was up very late last night having fun with James.
A lot of fun.
My boobs are a little small, but that’s fine. It means I don’t have back pain and finding supportive swimsuit tops isn’t an issue.
My hips? A little too wide, but that just makes me curvy.
And my smile?
To die for.
I pull my hair back in double pigtails, then slip on my leg warmers and flip-flops.
I’m ready to dance.
***
Club Kitten doesn’t discriminate.
You don’t have to be thin, flexible, or pretty to be a pole dancer.
You just have to be willing to sweat.
At Club Kitten, there are dancers who are petite, who are overweight, who are curvy, who are athletic, who are young, and who are old. Each class is completely mixed and no two dancers are completely alike. This is one of my favorite things about the studio.
I enter the main lobby and Paige scans my membership card. A lot of dancers choose to pay per-class, but I bought the monthly membership, so I can take unlimited classes. For me, this is great motivation to make sure I actually get up and get to class on time.
“Morning, Kasey,” she says with a grin.
“Girl, how are you even awake right now?”
“I might be on my second cup of coffee. Or third.”
“I should have gotten one before class,” I groan, wishing I had stopped at the coffee shop next door. It’s actually where Bailey works, but she’s not there today because she’s on her honeymoon instead.
“Too late now,” Paige says with a shrug, and motions for me to head back to the studio while she checks in the next person.
Moving down the hall, I skip the locker room and head straight for the pole classroom. There are two classrooms at Club Kitten. One is specifically for pole dancing and one is for other classes, like aerobic dance or sexy dance or stretching classes. While I like taking the other classes, as well, pole is where my heart is.
The feeling of the pole in my hands makes me feel like I’m unstoppable.
“What’s up, sexy?” Piper greets me with a big smile. She’s the only one in the classroom right now.
“Hey, honey,” I give her a hug, then join her in warming up. It’s amazing how many different ways you can use a dance pole to get the right stretches you need to dance. When I first started pole dancing, I didn’t know anything about fitness. I’d joined a gym once before, but didn’t really know much about getting in shape. Mainly, I stuck to the treadmills. When I signed up for Club Kitten, I found out just how much I’d been missing out on.
“Are you teaching today?” I ask Piper. She’s been coming to Club Kitten as long as I have, but recently started teaching classes. In addition to getting a sweet employee discount (meanin
g she gets to dance for free), she also gets paid for teaching.
Before she can teach completely on her own, though, Piper has to take some extra classes on campus to learn about physical fitness. As a dance instructor, she has to know all of the dance moves, but she also has to be able to help other dancers learn the moves. Most importantly, she needs to make sure she’s watching each of her students. If someone tries a dance move incorrectly, they could get seriously hurt. It’s a lot of responsibility.
Responsibility I’m not sure I could handle, if it was me.
Piper’s been working toward becoming an instructor for weeks now. I’m hoping she’ll get to teach and I’ll get to see her in action.
“I am,” she squeaks. “Sassy and I are leading together today.”
“Really?” Sassy McMittens owns Club Kitten. I don’t know what her real name is. Most people call her Professor or just Sassy.
Piper sometimes calls her the Evil Bitch Queen of Club Kitten because her workouts are pure hell.
Sassy has no qualms when it comes to making girls sweat. In fact, she gets off on it, I swear. I don’t take too many of her classes just because she really does bring the pain and to be honest, I can’t always take it.
“Really.” Piper grips the pole with one hand and places both feet on the same side. Then she lets her body fall toward the side while she hangs on. This gives a good, deep shoulder stretch and if Piper is stretching like that, I know today’s workout is going to be tough.
“Am I going to be cursing your name for days to come?” I ask Piper. She just laughs and shrugs.
“You never know with me,” she winks. A few dancers stroll into the room and start stretching. A quick glance at the clock tells me class is about to begin. “Showtime,” Piper says, and heads to the front of the room.
After a moment, Sassy comes in. Her presence is intense, dominating. She looks so sleek and strong. No matter what Sassy does, I feel like she can’t fail. She’s got long dark hair and these deep eyes that basically pierce your soul.
I’m not in love with her or anything, but if I was ever intimate with a woman, it would be with someone like Sassy.
“Get ready, dancers,” Sassy grins as she struts over to the speakers. She pulls out her phone and hooks it up, then starts the music for today’s class. “Piper is going to be leading the class today. Let’s give her a warm welcome.” Everyone cheers and Piper blushes. I know how hard she’s worked to get to where she is. Teaching isn’t for everyone, but I’m glad Piper is doing what she loves.
“If you need anything,” I hear Sassy murmur to Piper. “You just let me know. You’ve got this, honey.” I like that Sassy is a badass with a heart of gold. Then she takes the pole next to me, and I cringe. She’s going to be watching my every move. I should be thrilled about this, but it makes me nervous. Sassy is the best dancer I’ve ever met. I don’t want to disappoint her.
Piper begins to move. She leads us through a series of warm-up stretches before we begin to learn today’s routine. Each class period, we learn a little dance and incorporate new and old moves into the dance. It’s perfect because we immediately learn something sexy we can try at home, but we also review moves we already know.
One of my favorite songs comes on and I can feel the energy pumping through the room. It’s going to be a good week. I keep telling myself that. Gripping the pole, I mirror Piper’s movements as she twists and turns. Soon I’m sweating, moving, shaking my hips. Soon the whole world disappears except for my pole.
I want to dance for James.
The thought flickers through my mind as I move, and it surprises me. It shouldn’t. Bailey dances for Cooper all the time. For me, though, I’ve never danced for anyone. I’ve never even really wanted to. For me, the idea of dancing for another person seems foreign. Still, as I make my way through the routine, I can’t help but wonder what James would think if he saw me dance.
Would he love it?
Would he get hard?
Would he stroke his cock as he watched me climb the pole?
The thought makes me shiver and as I continue to make my way through the routine, I find myself growing more and more aware of my body. I move my hips a little bit more. My hands find their way over my breasts as I wiggle my bottom against the pole.
Sassy shoots me a knowing look and I smile at her, but refuse to feel embarrassed about how I’m dancing. That’s what pole class is all about: accepting your body. Some of the dancers are chubby. Some are thin. Some dance for themselves. Some want to learn how to dance for a partner. We’re all here for different reasons, but we’re all supportive when it comes to helping the others reach their goals.
When class ends, we all clap for Piper. She did an amazing job. Sassy comes over to me as I’m cleaning off my pole and looks me up and down.
“You did a great job today, Kasey.”
“Thank you, Professor,” I say. I’m a little surprised Sassy knows my name. I know who she is, of course. She’s amazing. There are a lot of girls who come in and out of the studio though. Some just dance a few times a month and some only come once. I’m one of the more regular dancers, but it still makes me feel good that she knows who I am. Apparently I’m making an impression.
“Have you ever considered teaching?” She asks.
“Me?”
“Yes. You have perfect form.”
“I guess I haven’t really thought about that before,” I say. Honestly, I never thought I’d be good enough to teach. I’m a little surprised to hear her say so. I figured having Sassy next to me would mean the class would be a struggle. I kind of expected her to point out all of my mistakes, but instead, I felt even better and stronger than I normally do.
“You should think about it,” Sassy says. “You’d be good at it.”
“I will,” I promise.
“If you decide it’s something you’re interested in, you come talk to me anytime.”
“Of course.”
Sassy leaves and a few of the other girls follow her out, asking questions as she heads to her office, presumably.
“Dude,” Piper squeals and comes to hug me. “I heard what Sassy said.”
“I’m surprised. I wouldn’t read too much into it, though. She probably says that to all the girls.”
“Um, she definitely does not. You’ve got skill. What have I been telling you for months? Skill. Not everyone can learn new turns as quickly as you. You pick things up super fast.”
“Thanks.” Inside, I’m exploding. Inside, I’m thrilled. Inside, I’m freaking the fuck out.
I won’t let this go to my head.
I’ve honestly never considered teaching. I’ve worked random jobs in college, including my current restaurant job, but teaching? That’s something I could do for awhile. Maybe I could even make a career out of it. I love Top Five but the hours are long and my customers are whiny. It’s hard to work an entire shift and still have the energy left to study when I get home.
“You should really think about it,” Piper continues. “There are a lot of benefits.” She starts listing items off on her fingers, but I’m already sort of sold. I love the idea of teaching at Club Kitten. Having my own classes, coming up with my own routines, and helping girls learn to become more creative?
Who wouldn’t love that?
When I got Bailey hooked on dancing, it was this huge rush. She was so insistent that it wasn’t for her. Now it’s her favorite thing in the world and I like to think part of it was my influence.
Maybe that’s just me being smug, but I like knowing she had a need and I was able to help her feel more comfortable in her own skin. I like thinking I was part of the reason she has more self-confidence now.
I like thinking that maybe her life is a little bit better because she has Club Kitten in it.
Maybe I can help other people, too.
Chapter 6
Kasey
“Tell me everything,” I demand, slipping into the booth next to Bailey. She and Cooper are back from
their honeymoon and I’m ready to hear all the nasty, dirty details she’d leave out if it was anyone else asking.
“What do you want to know?” She wiggles her eyebrows. My former roomie knows exactly what I want to know.
“Everything.”
“Well, we stayed in this sweet little cabin,” she begins, and already I’m smitten. Bailey and Cooper decided to forgo the traditional honeymoon places. Part of their decision had to do with the fact that Cooper couldn’t get a ton of leave, but also, Paris? That’s expensive.
Instead, they spent a few days in the Ozarks. I’ve never been, but Bailey went as a kid and apparently, it’s just as fun as she remembers.
“Did you do any sightseeing?” I ask.
“We went through an underground cave,” she squeaks, clapping her hands. “It was amazing. We learned all about stalagmites and stalactites. I can answer any cave questions you might have.”
“Did you see any bats?”
“So many bats!”
“And did you have sex in this cave of bats?”
“Only my favorite superhero does that,” Bailey sighs. “Sadly, there was no cave hanky-panky, but we did do a little groping.”
“That’s the literal definition of hanky-panky.”
Bailey only giggles and takes a sip of her drink. She looks different somehow: calmer. She looks more relaxed and at ease with herself. She looks satisfied in a way I’ve never seen her look before. Bailey and I have known each other for a long time, but right now? Right now she seems more comfortable with herself than she ever has before.
“What about you? How are things with James?”
“I don’t have a thing with James,” I say a little too fast. She just laughs.
“Come on. You’re all he can talk about. He came over for dinner last night and every other word out of his mouth was about you.”
“Really?”
“Really. He’s got it bad, Kasey.”
“We’ve only been out the one time, on your wedding day.”