Kody sighed again. “No. But I do think he’d let one of his deputies do it if they could prove what I had going on in here. And I don’t blame him for that. Case isn’t like you and me, Crew. We’ve always looked out for number one; Case has always looked out for everyone. He’s always trying to save us all, and all you and I do is fight him every step of the way.”
I blew out a breath. “Maybe it’s time we learn how to save ourselves, so he doesn’t always have to do it.”
She laughed on the other end of the phone. “Maybe. But I’m still going to call Case and tell him thugs broke into my bar and threatened me. They couldn’t have gotten very far out of town yet, and I’ll happily press charges against them, especially if their boss is holding you by the balls.”
I grunted in response. “No. I’ll call Case. I’m going to come clean, let him know how bad I screwed up and that it bled onto you. I’m going to tell him about the guy who sent the muscle down to Loveless and see if, maybe, he can come up with a plan to get him off my back for good. I already told my bookie I had the money to pay him back; him coming after you means he’s up to something. I don’t think he’s got any plans to let me simply walk away.” It was time to bite the bullet and do the right thing, even if it was going to forever ruin the way my older brother saw me.
“I think that’s a good idea. I think you being honest with Case, and yourself, is long overdue. Do you want to tell me how you managed to come up with the cash to the pay the bookie back so fast, or do I not want to know?” Kody’s tone turned teasing, and I felt a smile lift the corners of my mouth.
“I don’t know if you’d believe me if I told you.”
“Oh, it’s you, Crew. There isn’t much I wouldn’t believe.”
I chuckled softly because she really did know me better than anyone else. “My former manager went behind my back and signed me on to be the face of a useless, high-end grooming product line for men. He bounced town with the advance, but the remaining amount on the contract was enough to pay off my debt and cover the interest. I pranced around looking pretty for the last week, feeling like an idiot. It wasn’t anything I would have said yes to, but the stupid campaign saved my ass.” And brought Della into my life, which I would be forever thankful for.
Kody laughed, and I was happy to hear that she no longer sounded pissed off or afraid. “I’m sure you rocked it, and it’s a good thing the opportunity fell into your lap. Call me after you talk to Case, so I know what’s going on. And stop acting like you are a lone soldier fighting a war you can’t win. I love you, Case loves you, and we’re not going to let anyone hurt you. Make good choices, Crew. I know that goes against your nature, but try.”
I told her I loved her and promised I would be in touch after I talked to our older brother. I set my phone on the vanity and turned to look at myself in the mirror. The man facing me wasn’t anything special, but he did have the ability to right a few wrongs. I took a deep breath and splashed some cold water on my face, preparing myself for a goodbye that was going to hurt.
I wrapped myself up in one of the fluffy complimentary robes hanging off the back of the door and made my way back into the hotel room.
“Hey, Ms. Priss. Do you want me to order breakfast? Get you a mimosa or something?” There was no way I was going to treat her like my usual one-night stands. I wanted her to know she had fundamentally changed the man I was. If someone like her had faith I was good enough, then there was no excuse for me to keep living up to my own low expectations.
I jerked to a stop as soon as I entered the room. It was exactly as I’d left it, bed rumpled, drapes still closed, the scent of sex and Della’s expensive perfume still lingering in the air. It was all the same except the bed was empty. Della’s clothes, which had been scattered across the floor, were gone, as was the woman I’d peeled them off of. There was no sign of her, no note, no lipstick message scrawled across the mirror. There was nothing to indicate she’d ever even been here.
I threw myself onto the bed, swearing under my breath and wondering if this was how all the women I skipped out on the morning after felt when I ghosted them.
I toyed with the idea of calling her. I wanted her to know that our night together was special, but just as I was levering myself up to go back to the bathroom and fetch my phone, I realized what I’d said to Kody when she’d asked about coming up with the money to pay my debts off. I called the product line Della worked so hard on stupid and worthless. I told my sister I felt like an idiot putting my face out there for the world to judge and find wanting. Once again I had acted without thinking, spoken without any thought about the impact my words and actions may have on someone other than myself. Della put everything on the line for this campaign, and took a huge risk on me, believing that I would do her vision justice. I belittled her passion, treated it like it was nothing.
It was unfair and in bad form. I was an idiot.
I remembered how uncomfortable she looked that first day when she tracked me down at the rodeo. She was so out of place, but she never tried to make me feel like what I did for a living was a waste of time or talent. She had more class and care in her pinky finger than I did in my entire body.
I swore again and knocked my fist against my forehead. I screwed up…again. But I had to take care of Vargas first. I needed to make sure my family was safe and I had to ensure the mobster never found out how important Della was to me. She was the ultimate weapon he could wield in order to keep me under his thumb forever, so I needed to find a way to sever all ties for good. I also needed to come up with something quick, something important and impactful to let her know I was leaving, but that she was still on my mind and I knew there were things I had to apologize for if she would let me. I didn’t know if she would forgive me for speaking rashly, or if she would believe I didn’t mean what I said. I was speaking through the stress of worrying about my sister and the upcoming conversation I had to have with my brother. I had to believe she knew me well enough to understand I was hotheaded and foolish even at my best.
Sighing, I shoved up off the bed and went and found my phone. I placed a local call and crossed my fingers, hoping the simple gesture would be enough to get through to the woman whose trust I’d just blindly betrayed. Then I called my brother.
It was time to go home.
Chapter 11
Della
I almost fell out of my chair when my office door opened and the last man I expected to see walked through it. Out of habit I sat up straighter, moved a hand to make sure there wasn’t a stray hair out of place, and nervously fidgeted with my outfit. No matter how put together or professional I looked, this man standing in front of me always made me feel like I was lacking in one way or another.
“Ma petite fille, you look terrible. Are you not sleeping?” My father always spoke with an odd mix of French and English. Picking and choosing the words he used in a different language at random. But he always referred to me as his “little girl” even though I’d turned thirty several months ago.
Involuntarily, I lifted my fingers to the dark circles I knew were under my eyes. I hadn’t slept well since sneaking out of Crew’s hotel room at dawn a couple of days ago. The following evening a special delivery had arrived at my door. The married couple from the Italian restaurant where we’d gone on our first “date” were standing outside of my apartment door. I wasn’t surprised they charmed their way past my doorman and were allowed up to my floor. Carlotta was holding a to-go container of those damn cannolis and Luca had a bottle of wine and a bouquet of flowers. They also recited a very sweeping and dramatic apology from Crew. I had no choice but to listen to it, since I wasn’t rude enough to shut the door in their faces after they’d gone to so much trouble for the damn man. I listened as graciously as I could, promised I would hear Crew out should he call, closed the door when they left, and cried for two days straight. He sent a single text. All it said was I’m sorry. I’d yet to come up with a proper reply, so it sat unanswered, and the cannolis sat
untouched. The gesture was grand and over-the-top, but the hurt he caused was bigger and impossible to ignore.
So was the worry that something terrible would happen to him and I would be none the wiser. I hated every single part of the conversation I’d overheard. But I agonized over the parts where he admitted he needed to deal with the dangerous man he owed money to. I lost night after night of sleep imagining what could happen to him when he confronted the bookie.
I did drink the wine and have myself a pity party for one. I’d reached peak pitiful at that point.
And now my father was here, so my already raw and tattered emotions were about to unravel.
“Just trying to put the finishing touches on the campaign for Sophistiqué. Everything goes to print next week, and the big launch in stores is only a few weeks after that. I want everything to be perfect.” I sighed. “I don’t want to let you down.”
My father forced himself into one of the chairs that sat across from my desk and tapped his index finger against his lips as he looked at me without blinking. My father was not a big man, but every single inch of him was elegant and refined. He moved like a man who ruled the world and had no equal. Only now, after spending time with Crew, I saw he didn’t seem nearly as imposing as he always had. I needed to stop viewing him as the man who shipped me off to boarding school because he had no clue what to do with me, and look at him as the CEO of the company I was bound and determined to take over.
“Tutravaillestrop dur, petite fille.” The same hazel eyes that I looked at every day in the mirror watched me closely as I stiffened at his gentle admonishment that I work too hard.
“I work as hard as I have to. What else do I have besides this company?” I rubbed my temples and tried to force back a headache I could feel starting to pound. “I didn’t know you were coming to New York, Père. Are you checking up on me?” I was torn between being thrilled he cared, and annoyed he didn’t trust me to handle things on my own.
My father made a noise and leaned forward on the chair. He put his hands on the edge of my desk, eyes flitting over the numerous pictures of Crew I had spread out before me. The man literally covered every inch of my work space, making clarity and distance impossible.
“He worked out better than I thought he would. Il est très beau. I’m happy to see you did not turn him into everyone else. I had my doubts how the two of you would work together.” He reached for one of the candid shots the photographer had taken. Crew had his hands on the horse’s mane, and there was a genuine smile on his too-handsome face. “I will buy whatever this man is selling.” My father smiled, which totally caught me off guard. He was usually so stern and disapproving when we tried to work together.
Keeping the picture in his hands, he leaned back in the chair. A sigh drifted up between us as he seemed to get lost in thought.
“I loved your mother more than anything, Della. More than this company. More than any amount of money. More than my family name.”
I bit my tongue before I could burst out that he obviously loved her more than me, since he shut me out of his life in all ways, except for business, as soon as she was gone.
“We were very different, your mother and I. No one believed we would work out in the long run, mais notre amour était beau. She was my everything, and when I lost her, I also felt like I had nothing.” He held up a hand when I automatically started to protest that he had me, he made the decision to throw me away. “I know I was cold, distant, and not a good father to you after your mother was gone. I have many, many regrets, Della. You look so much like her, I hurt every time I looked at you. In the end, I forced you to end up just like me, and I know your mother would never want that for you. She would want you to have the kind of love we shared. She would want more for you than this company.”
He tossed the picture of Crew back on my desk, and my heart skipped a beat when my eyes landed on his ruggedly handsome face. I swore I could feel the burn of those blue eyes from the picture.
“You are so much like me, I thought throwing you together with your opposite might result in the same kind of awakening I had when I met your mother. I searched far and wide for a man who would finally rattle the cage I unwittingly forced you into. A friend of a friend used this cowboy to model underwear. I watched him ride those wild horses and strut around in his boots and hat. I thought he would be perfect for you, and even if he wasn’t, maybe he could show you there is more to life than work. I knew his manager was shady, and things were not on the up-and-up, but I brought him into your life anyway. I want you to have a chance to be happy like I once was. I want you to know the kind of love I’ve known. That is a far better gift I can give you than this company.”
I took a deep breath and put my hands flat on the desk in front of me. I kind of wanted to strangle him, but so many years of perfect manners kept me seated, even though I was shaking. “You knew nothing about Crew. And worse than that, you know nothing about me. How could you gamble with something you knew was so important to me? This campaign means everything to me, and you risked it all to play matchmaker? Do you see him here? Do you think your scheme worked out?”
My father waved a hand in the air in front of him, as if to dismiss all the furious questions I fired his way. “I was hoping it would all work out between you and the cowboy. I never had a single concern about the new product line. Tu es trop bonne dans ce que tu fais. You are the best, and I never doubted this idea of yours was going to be a success. It is your heart I am now worried about. As a father should.”
“I think this is all too little, too late.” I got up and started to pace back and forth behind the desk. “I’ve waited my entire life for you to tell me I’m doing a good job, and the first time you do, you throw out that I should be concentrating more on my love life.” I tossed my hands up in the air and let them fall uselessly to my sides. “I’m never going to win with you, never going to make you proud.”
My father climbed to his feet and made his way around the desk. I froze in shock when he pulled me into a tight hug. I could count on one hand the number of times this man had willingly been affectionate with me. I gulped and looked up at him through suddenly watery eyes. “Are you dying? Is that why you’re suddenly so concerned about me being alone?”
My father chuckled and kissed both of my cheeks in a very French way. “Petite idiote. Of course I’m not dying. I would not keep something like that from you. What I am is lonely, and I do not want that for you. I have watched you seek out men who will not bring anything new into your life. No adventure. No light. No love. You deserve all of those things and so much more, Della.”
I sniffed and wiped at my eyes. I don’t know when I started crying, but the tears were rolling down my cheeks unchecked. “It’s sweet, you trying to set me up, but I don’t think Crew and I were meant to be. There is different, then there is impossible. We were impossible. He doesn’t take what I do seriously. I thought he cared about how important this campaign was to me. He called it stupid and useless, and said he felt like an idiot participating.” The words hurt just as much the second time around when I was the one saying them. “He also has some pretty dangerous hobbies.” I’d heard him confess to the gambling and all the destruction it led to.
“Oui. His manager may have alluded to there being some problems, which is why he was so desperate to sign the deal. None of us are without fault. When you first learned of the cowboy, you had some very harsh words about him and his lifestyle. If he overheard you then, how would he have felt?”
I cringed and pulled away from his embrace. I wiped my face with the back of one hand, noticing my eye makeup was smeared. It reminded me of the first encounter I had with Crew. The one where I told him he was going to have to change everything about who he was to be good enough. Then I slept with the man I thought I knew, the one who was still wild, but thoughtful and considerate, only to have him reveal he hadn’t changed all that much from the man I pegged him as from the start.
“Okay. So I’m old enoug
h and wise enough to know sometimes people think without speaking, but I haven’t actually talked to him. He left without a goodbye. He sent an apology, not an explanation.” The silence after the best sex I’d ever had felt vast and echoing. It didn’t help when I closed my eyes: I could still picture his strong body moving over mine, and feel his hands running all over me. Which was why sleep had been hard to come by lately.
My father scoffed. “As I said, you are like me, Della. In business and in your personal life. When do you find it acceptable to accept defeat without trying every possible option? When do you give up on something you are passionate about and believe in? Did you know, your mother did not want to date me? She claimed I was too out of touch with the ‘real people.’ She viewed my wealth as something ugly and problematic. I had to court her. Woo her. Charm her into going out with me. She did not agree to a single date until I proved how serious I was about her. I had to donate money to charity. I had to volunteer to help the homeless. I had to spend time with the real people to show her I was worth her time.”
I wrinkled my nose and gave him a narrow-eyed look. “You think I need to learn how to ride a horse or something?”
He laughed and put his hands on his stomach. “No. I think you need to decide what is more important, your pride and hurt feelings, or the person who hurt them.” He nodded at me and pointed at the desk. “Everything you are and everything you have become went into this campaign. Look at those pictures, Della. I see you in them just as much as I see him. Do not live the life I’ve lived. Live the life your mother would have wanted for you. The company and your place in it will never go anywhere. Your last name is on the damn building. I may not have gotten much right, but I have always known you were going to carry my legacy on. But there is nothing in the fine print that says you should do it alone. I’m in town for a few weeks. I can take care of whatever you need me to if you need a few days off.”
Colorado Cowboy - Includes a bonus novella Page 34