Alex's Destiny (Racing To Love)

by Amy Gregory

  Hearing the door to the refrigerator open and shut, Dallas knew he was in for a discussion, a talk and a lecture. The snick he heard as the beer cap popped off affirmed it. Taking another swig and a deep breath Dallas swallowed, letting the deep gold liquid slide down his throat and hoped it would help calm his frayed nerves. Slowly, he released the air through his nose and waited for Eli to pull up a chair and speak.

  He had put Eli on a pedestal years before he ever met the man. Back when life was hell and all he had was his mother and his bike to keep his small world spinning. Thinking back to those days when he first arrived at the academy as a young student himself, Dallas realized how much had changed, and yet how everything had stayed the same. The Noland’s swept him into the family the minute he stepped foot on the Pennsylvania soil, and they never let him go. When Eli proposed to his mother, he single-handedly changed the course of Dallas’s life.

  That was something he would always be grateful to Eli for. He loved him, probably more than most normal father-son relationships, because Dallas knew how lucky he was to have him, and he never took that for granted. Eli extended their relationship past the point of him being his stepson, the adoption had been completed days after they returned from the Florida wedding.

  Something he’d gotten used to immediately about Eli was his calm, patient manner. There wasn’t any rushing to blame, or yelling to drive in a point. His father would listen, pointing out any flaws he noticed, and then he offered assistance. Any time, any day. From homework to races, from a bad day on the track, to helping him navigate his professional career—Eli was always there. He knew all of Dallas’s dreams, hopes, and secrets—except for one.

  That one secret could destroy the entire family dynamic as they all knew it, extending out to his grandparents. Their family was an eclectic mix of friends who bonded together, yet few of the large group was bound by blood. He should have always considered Alex his cousin—he did her twin brother, Jack. He felt that way with Chance. But not Alex, she had always been—Alex.

  God he’s a patient man. Why does it have to take so long for him to start?

  His arms were crossed over the span of his chest, beer bottle still in hand. Dallas dragged in another breath as a deer caught his attention out past the edge of the yard, inside the tree line. The thicker trees provided exactly what the wild beauty needed for food and refuge.

  “What did you think was going to happen, Dallas? I mean, really…surely you gave it at least some thought, son?”

  He slid his gaze sideways toward his father. The familiar hazel eyes were not only narrowed, but pained as well. Dallas turned his attention back to the glass and tipped his brown bottle back up to his lips, downing the rest of the amber, while watching his dad out of the corner of his eye. Eli leaned forward, his forearms resting on the edge of the table as he sat studying his beer bottle. “You know it’s always been her, right?”

  Setting his now empty bottle on the table, Dallas tilted his head. “What are you talking about?”

  “Alex. It’s always been Alex.”

  Shocked and on the verge of frustration, Dallas shook his head. “No. We’re like cousins.”

  “No. Her and Chance are cousins—”

  “I know they’re blood-related, but you know what I mean. That’s how we grew up.”

  “No, it’s not, Dallas. And don’t sit there and lie to yourself. I’m not talking about blood. You know that means nothing in this family. I’m talking about how they act. Her brother and Chance both act like she’s one of the guys, the roughhousing and wrestling, the daring her to do what they can on a track and such. You and her? It was never like that. Sure you race, but that’s the competitive nature in both of you. It comes naturally to all of us. Of course it’s going to flow down. However, she’s adored you in a different way and has for years. She’s been the first one you call when you’re upset about something. She is always the first to hear about your big moments. Alex has been your best friend for forever and a day. The years and distance between you two has never mattered. That girl latched onto you the minute you landed on this property back when you really were both just kids. She saw something in you that only children can sense. And damn it, Dallas—she’s been there ever since. With an unwavering solidness that everyone needs to ground them and keep them happy.”

  “But Dad,”—Dallas shook his head, then defeated he lowered it into his palms—“I don’t want to feel this way. I shouldn’t feel this way—it’s not right.”

  “Son, listen to me…and I mean really listen to me.” Eli waited until Dallas dragged his attention back up, making eye contact.

  “You are not related. There’s nothing wrong about it—except for what you did this week. You bringing in some girlfriend—”

  “We’re just friends.”

  “I’m not buying that line of shit, son. You should have warned us, warned Alex.”

  “I’m serious. We are just friends. She agreed to come, so that—”

  Dallas watched a look cross his father’s face he’d only seen once. Back when it had been Dallas that Eli was trying to protect. The crease deepened between his brows as one rose, his eyes narrowed once again, pinning him with the hazel that was now sending the guilt slicing through him. He paused, momentarily caught off-guard by the change.

  “That what? So you could test Alex? See how she really feels? Make her jealous—what? Help me understand, son.”

  Escaping the penetrating disappointment, Dallas scrubbed his hands over his face, running them up and into his hair, fisting it frustration. He was so lost. “God, Dad. I don’t know. It’s just all so fucked up.”

  CHAPTER THREE

  He folded the last pair of cargo shorts and laid them in his suitcase. Taking a sweeping glance over his bedroom, he let out a breath. Dallas had decided with the upcoming race it was better to go back to the factory track, and practice for a couple of extra days. Escaping was the real reason, so like most hard-working adults he blamed work on his need to flee. His mind was screwing with him, and he was confused, upset, and lost. It was killing him to know he’d hurt Alex. The fact she was avoiding him at all costs only served to turn the knife in his chest. With his hands laced behind his head, he stood for a long moment before the sadness finally forced his eyes shut.

  “You just got here, don’t leave yet.” Hearing the pain in his younger sister Tasia’s voice only made the entire situation worse. Dallas knew she and their younger brother, Marc, both missed him because he wasn’t home that much. He never had been. By the time they were born, he was on the road a good portion of the year. His mother traveled with them as much as she could, but for the most part, it was just him and his father who followed the team trailer around the country in their coach. When he went pro, he was home even less. And all three of them knew as soon as he retired from racing, he’d buy a house somewhere. He wouldn’t be staying in his boyhood room anymore. The unspoken question was whether or not he’d settle down close to home…or not.

  Tasia wrapped her lithe arms around his chest. Following in their mother’s footsteps, she was willowy and light on her feet. He hadn’t heard her approach until he felt her, years of ballet training had always given her an advantage at hide-and-seek. She still could sneak up on him, each time managing to scare another year off his life. She was New York bound, and Dallas couldn’t be more proud. Remorse often tugged at him, knowing he’d missed most of her performances over the years, but his baby sister never complained. Instead she saved her guilt trips for moments like this, when he stood packing to leave her again. Each and every time, it tore him up.

  Spinning, he pulled her into his embrace, and anger surged. “Tay, you’re too damn skinny, sugar.”

  “And you’re never home.”

  Truth fucking sucked to hear and made him wince, starting their argument, “You need to eat.”

  “You need to come home more.”

  Five years before, when he realized his sister was on a path to becoming a professional
dancer, he started watching her more closely when he was home. She was always pirouetting around the kitchen, using the island as a barre. Over the years she’d gotten taller and every part of her body had become defined from hours on pointe. She also had turned herself into a vegetarian and total health nut, which was odd for him to say out loud because he’d always trained for hours a week and watched what he ate. However, the way she worked out and watched her diet, made him look like a slacker. Seeing her in a leotard sparked their battle five years before, and he’d stayed on her ass since. But the coin had two sides and she never let him forget it.

  Raising an eyebrow, he lowered his voice. “Eat.”

  “Retire.” She slapped back.

  A fatal flaw in their DNA was a fiery competitive streak, one that never quit, one that demanded the last word. This time though, he had a plane to catch. “Soon, very soon.”

  “Promise?”

  The pleading in her voice cut to the quick every time. He always promised. He knew she didn’t believe him anymore than he meant it. He loved racing and lived for it. Just as she did dancing. But he nodded anyway. “Yeah…I promise.”

  Tasia pulled away and Dallas could tell she was hurt by the lie he’d just told her again.

  Silently, she removed two of the shirts from his suitcase, she proceeded to refold them for him and repack them in a neater order. That was the sister he adored. She’d always wanted him to be happy, and did what she could to play her role in that.

  “So, can I ask you a question?”

  She hadn’t looked up, as she shifted and walked to his closet, shutting the door. Dallas watched her suspiciously as she moved to his dresser, straightening the picture frames. They were slipping into a different type of relationship, she was eighteen now, and on more equal footing with him than his former high-school aged little sister. Instinctively he knew exactly what subject she was so nervous about bringing up. Not wanting to make it easy for her to grill him, he remained silent. When she made eye-contact with him, he raised one eyebrow. His pose wasn’t meant to be intimidating, but she quickly diverted her eyes once she saw him staring at her, legs spread shoulder-width apart, arms crossed over his chest.

  “Why won’t Alex come over?” She waved a dismissive hand at the wall, “Their house is right there. Normally when you’re home, she’s here the entire time. Jack hasn’t been over to hang out much either. What’s going on? Did you two have a fight?”

  Even though Tasia was the only ‘child’ in the family to not have been born riding a bike, she and Alex were as close as sisters. He should have known his sister would notice the growing distance between him and Alex. He was sure Jack hadn’t been around much because he’d been at their grandfather’s architectural firm most of the week. It was harder to explain Alex’s absence.

  Dallas zipped his small suitcase. How in the hell did he answer that? He went with simple, offering no details. “No.” He said, as he placed the pull-behind on the floor and straightened his bedding. He knew his mother would come in after him and strip the bed and clean everything top-to-bottom, so it’d be ready for his next trip home. However, he wanted to leave it tidy, and he wasn’t sure when he would come back home again. Probably not as soon as she’d like, unfortunately. Extending the telescoping handle, he dragged it behind him and shut off the lights, knowing Tasia would follow.

  “Dallas, don’t be an ass. Something happened, everyone knows something is wrong, something is off with you two. What the hell were you thinking?”

  He left her question hanging, walking up the stairs to the main level of the house without looking back.

  With a slap at his biceps that meant business, Tasia walked further into the kitchen. “That was a dickhead move and you know it. I can’t believe you did it.” Shaking her head, she opened the refrigerator and grabbed two bottles of water.

  Accepting the bottle she held out to him, he narrowed his eyes, “Heather and I are just friends.”

  “Bullshit. What’s worse is…you left Alex to believe otherwise. And that’s an asshole move.”

  Rubbing his forehead, Dallas pulled in a breath. He wanted to leave, but was trapped with the acquisition. He’d be disowned if he left the property without telling his parents and grandparents goodbye. “Leave it alone, Tay. I don’t want to be discussing this. Not now, and especially not with—”

  “With me? Screw you, Dallas. I’m an adult. We’re family, you’re upset, she’s hurting, and I will do what I can to help. So I’ll be the one to tell you to pull your head out of your ass. She’s been in love with you for years.” Picking up her dance bag, she stepped into his space, “Look. I don’t want to fight, I don’t want you to leave like this. You need to fix it. I want you to come home, much sooner rather than later…and do not bring another woman with you again—ever.”

  His anger level was ramping up rapidly, and he would hold onto it with both hands, but he was having a hell of a time wrapping his head around the fact that everyone in his entire family had lost their minds. He could not make sense of their thinking. The problem was, his fight to do the right thing was killing him. His nostrils flared and he kept his jaw clenched. Afraid of spilling everything in his heart, he gave a slight shake of his head, needing to end the discussion before all hell erupted.

  Dallas knew without a doubt, if he laid all his cards on the table, he’d have a losing hand.

  Reaching up to kiss his cheek, Dallas wrapped his arms around her as soon as Tasia was flat-footed. Her words were muffled a little bit with her cheek pressed up against his shirt, but he heard them loud and clear.

  “You love her, Dallas. Fix this.”

  Before he could formulate a response, she was out the door and he was left staring at the empty space she’d left behind.

  ~~~

  Doing the most hated chore first, to get it over with, had always been the way Dallas operated. Then he could move on without the dread, but chores and goodbyes were two entirely different things, and he’d left the hardest goodbye for last. Turning into the Sterling’s driveway twisted his gut. He had a bad feeling. This wasn’t going to go well. Jack was already standing by his rental car. His butt leaning up against the door waiting on him.

  Jack had always been a part of his life. Much like with Alex, the seven year age difference had never been a factor. Dallas wasn’t stupid though. As close as he was to him, Jack was still Alex’s brother—her twin brother. If a line was drawn in the sand, there was no question where Jack’s allegiance would fall. That nugget of knowledge was unsettling, and judging by the tension around the handful of people in the driveway, he had a feeling it was going to be a long ride to the airport.

  Alex hugged her brother once more before Jack turned to him. As Dallas placed his suitcase by the trunk of the car, Jack said, “You ready, man?”

  Confusion swept over her face as she stood staring at him. Dallas watched the hurt deepen the creases between her brows. He felt like such a jackass. It was a cowardly thing to do, run back to California, blaming it on the need to practice. He was running—plain and simple. And it wasn’t to work, it was away from her. It had been a last minute decision after he heard that Jack was going to be heading out too.

  Though they hadn’t spoken to each other since she’d walked away from him Sunday night after dinner, they both knew the other was on the property. It was because he knew she was there that the frustration was a double-edged sword. It hurt to know what he was missing, their late night talks, laying in a tangle of arms and legs while lazily watching movies. The easy friendship and comfort she offered him so generously before and he craved desperately when he was away, was non-existent. A black-and-white reminder of what he’d done and who he’d hurt, all because he was afraid. If she cuddled up with him on a couch, it would’ve been very hard to cover up his true desire. Hard being the operative word.

  “You’re leaving, too?” Alex asked, her voice trailing off with disbelief.

  Out of habit, he found himself walking toward her l
ike he’d done for years. Fear stopped him when he was within arm’s reach of her. He nodded, afraid to say too much. Dallas could feel Jack’s eyes watching his back, and Carter’s eyes watching him from the side. His breathing became shallow as he waited for Alex to say something…anything. Disappointment flooded her expression, the weight pushing her shoulders down. Her head started to fall, but at the last minute she looked up at him with the saddest eyes he’d ever seen. The ice-blue darkening as the tears started to pool.

  It was like Sunday night all over again. Every move he made seemed to cause her more pain. Dallas thought leaving town would give her space. Being close had to be as hard for her as it was him. Wanting something just out of one’s reach, watching it as it dangled right there with no hope of being able to touch it, was torture. He wanted her so bad it was affecting him physically. The need for her was so real it was painful.

  Afraid to make the first move, he waited. Wanting some sort of sign that when he came back home again they’d be all right. He longed for her to hang onto him tightly the way she had at all her other send-offs. He wanted her to make him promise between gripping hugs that he’d return soon—pledging to miss him terribly, listing off her demands. He was to be safe, not to work too hard, to eat right, and drink plenty of water.

  The longer the moment stretched on, the faster his heart pounded.

  Her eyes lowered first, then her head. She gave him a slight nod, but it was her choked words that tore him up. “Okay,”—she turned toward the house—“be careful.”

  “Alex…” His call out to stop her was screamed in his head, but in reality it’d been barely a whisper.

  A hand clasped his shoulder. “Be careful, son.”

  Heaviness settled over him as he glanced at Carter. Swallowing hard, he watched Alex’s father follow after her. With his hands fisted at his sides, he stood motionless except for the clenching and grinding of his jaw. With the soft click of the door shutting behind them, Dallas screwed his eyes shut tight. Before he could help it, his temper got the best of him, and the rock that had been lying on the driveway by his foot went sliding across the concrete, along with a grunt of frustration behind it.