by Amy Gregory
He wanted to rush out his answer, and tell her what she wanted to hear. It hurt her to say the words, and it killed him. But she needed to voice her fear aloud. She needed to tell him so she could move past the pain it was causing her. Tipping her chin to him, he ran his thumb across her cheek, catching the first tear as it fell. He nodded his encouragement, silently begging her to get it over with. “Come on, baby tell me.”
“I’m dirty. I’m not—he touched me, Dallas.”
There it was. The dam broke and she couldn’t stop the tears if she wanted to. Dallas kissed her cheeks as they fell, whispering to her. “Lex, look at me.” Dallas lifted her easily to sit on the bathroom counter. Edging her knees apart, he moved forward to stand between her legs, and waited for her to brave the gaze he had on her. “I’m going to do something, and I don’t want to scare you. Do you trust me?”
“Yes. Of course.”
Her answer was instant, so he proceeded. “Give me your hand.” Pulling in a deep breath, he swallowed hard then he pressed her palm to his jeans, “Do you feel that?” She cupped him and he hissed at the contact. “God, Alex that is what you do to me. That is how bad I want you. Never, ever question that, baby.” He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, leaving his lips touching her. “You never have to question if I want you.”
Her breathing changed from soft aftershocks to nervous pulls, and her hand began to move. Rubbing him, slowly at first, very timidly, he sensed it was what she wanted to do this morning to his skin. She was exploring. Something most people did years earlier. She wasn’t like everyone else. She’d been homeschooled, like most involved with the racing academy, and he knew she’d been in love with only one man. He flinched in her hand at that thought. She gently squeezed her fingers around the bulge in his pants.
“Lex, I don’t want to push you. Please promise me you won’t let me do anything you’re not ready to do. But can I…kiss you?” Dallas asked, barely able to keep his eyes open.
Her head nodded under his lips. Pulling away, he looked at her one last time for confirmation. Wide-eyed innocence replaced the shame he saw in her eyes moments ago. The tip of her tongue darted out, he lowered his gaze watching her lick her lips. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Dallas.”
Lowering his mouth to hers, her eyes slowly closed. Pressing on, he laid his mouth against the warm satin of her lips. Tentatively, he kissed her, and when he started to pull back, her lips parted. Using just the tip, he touched her lips with his tongue. As her mouth opened more, Dallas took more. Never punishingly, never so passionately he’d lose control, but he kissed her deeper and deeper. Her head fell to the side, granting him the surrender he had waited years for.
One hand cradled her neck, and he slid the other down her chest. Over her tank and over her heart. He could feel her breast under his hand, but it was the thundering beat of her heart he wanted to feel at that moment. There was no rushing on his part, not today. He touched her as if she was made of glass. There had been a time in her life she would have punched him in the arm for that. Right now, he didn’t care. They’d cross that bridge down the road—when she was ready.
Edging back, the tip of his tongue was the last of the contact to break before he pulled her to his bare chest. Only the thin layer of her tank separated them. Tucking his face to her neck, he spoke against her soft skin. Knowing she could hear every word, Dallas laid his heart out for her. “Alex, I am going to tell you something. When I’m done, I need you to promise me something, okay?” He felt her nod. “Are you listening? Really listening?”
A second time he felt her nod in his hold. He had to make her understand. “You are mine. To love, protect, and cherish. What that monster did, does not, and I repeat, it does not change anything about how I feel. I understand what you’re going through. I understand you may feel like you’re different. But to me, you’ll always be the same person who stole my heart years ago. You are beautiful, strong, smart, and perfect in every way. No one can change that. Not with their words, their fists, or their hands.”
Dallas stood back up, leaving one hand over her heart. Raising her chin once again with just a finger, he saw the tears were there, ready to fall.
“Do you believe me, Alex?”
For a long moment he stood in the same position, waiting on her answer. At last she gave an uncertain nod.
“No, Lex. I need you to promise me you understand what I’m telling you. You have to promise to forgive yourself. That night wasn’t your fault. I know that will be hard, because I blame myself for not being there to protect you.” She started to interrupt, but he cut her off. “I need you to promise me you understand I think you’re beautiful and sexy and that I want you very much. I need you to promise me—that you know I love you and I always will.”
She blinked at his statement and it pushed the unshed tears over, sending tracks down her face.
“Do you promise?”
“I promise, Dallas.”
“I love you, Alexandra.” She smirked at the use of her full name like he knew she would. She couldn’t help it, she always had whenever anyone called her that. But, it was another step in the right direction—her readiness for laughter and teasing.
“I love you too.”
He pressed for more. “You want to tell my why you need Ruby’s help this morning?” He winked.
Her eyes went wide as her jaw dropped. “Y-you.” A spark flared in her. “You were awake! You knew? Y-you…big brat.” She smarted back, holding onto her amusement with an iron fist, and giving his family jewels a squeeze with her other hand.
“Hey, baby. Don’t go doing any damage there. We’re going to need him someday.” Dallas chuckled stepping backward out of her reach with another wink.
She narrowed her eyes. It was a simple move that almost had him dropping to his knees on the bathroom floor. It was that playful look she used to give him all the time. The same one she would issue right before she was about to get even with him for something. Revenge by way of Alex usually involved pain of some sort. Whether it be physical or embarrassing, on a track or with whipped cream, she’d always managed to get even. Something James had taught her well.
With that simple look he knew it meant his girl was on her way back.
CHAPTER TWENTY
She only put on shorts. They were her favorite pair of khakis, short and low-rise, but they were still—just shorts. After all, this was just a test to see if she could do it, if she could get close. As much as Dallas was doing to help her, a piece of her was still missing. She just wanted to get close, but not close enough she’d need boots or even riding pants.
Dallas grabbed the small cooler of drinks her mother insisted on making for them, and Ruby’s bowl. Now that it was really happening she didn’t care to argue. Alex just got in her Jeep—but on the passenger side.
His head tilted as he stood on the driver’s side. “You don’t want to drive, Lex?”
She shook her head. Fear was creeping back in, and she didn’t trust herself to talk. One word and she might change her mind and go flying back into the house, to the safety its walls provided. Alex needed Dallas to take over. She needed him to take charge and make the decisions for a little while. Sitting on her hands was the only way to keep him from seeing how bad she was shaking.
“Ruby, hop on in, girl. No.” He chuckled and Alex glanced over. “You’re a smart dog, but I don’t think even you know how to drive. Get your furry ass in the back seat.”
The dog looked to her as if she would like some back up, her eyebrows moving up and down. Alex couldn’t help but smirk. “Sorry, girl. We gotta let him drive.”
As fast as a big dog can move in a small space, she rearranged herself in the back. “That’a girl, Rube.” Dallas reached into the side of the cooler and pulled out a dog treat. “You’re a good girl. This is from Grandma.”
“Dallas Hunter, did you just make me a grandma?” Her mother said with her hands on her hips.
Laughing loudly, h
e quickly put the Jeep in reverse and backed out, going over the side of the driveway to the grass path through the field.
“I’m going to beat your ass, Son.” Molly hollered at the red taillights.
She had missed that terribly. The joking, teasing and laughing her family did on an everyday basis. Life had always been fun. That was before. She had gotten a glimpse of it again, a little bit ago in the bathroom, not that her mother knew.
Thinking of him—her hand holding him—sent a jolt through her and she squeezed her thighs together. That was one way to chase away a depressing thought.
She’d never seen a guy’s thing before, in person. God that made her sound so naïve. What did she even call it? Penis? That just sounded so, medical. She shivered in her seat. Junk? Dick? Geez, she needed to talk to someone, but her go-to for information on anything had always been her brother. But eww—not about sex. Tasia was her fashion consultant, but she was just as inexperienced as Alex was. She loved her mother, but there was no way in hell they were having that conversation. Especially since her parents were letting Dallas, in effect, sleep with her.
A heavy weight landed on her shoulder with a plop right before the wet nose rubbed up against her bare neck. Curling her arm around her, Alex hugged Ruby’s head to her. “Hi, sweetie.”
Nearing the track, Ruby sat up straight.
“Guess it’s a good thing the top’s off. She might not fit in here otherwise.” Dallas laughed, glancing in the back seat.
He pulled up near the fence on the far west side. Somehow, without telling him, he knew she didn’t want to make a big deal about this. She didn’t want anyone to know she was there, and she sure as hell didn’t want to pull in the main gate and see the front of the building yet. Her grandfather had made quick work of it, and Alex appreciated his effort tremendously, but she wasn’t ready. Not yet.
She couldn’t see her office in any other way but terrifying at the moment. Even if James Noland’s expertise had dramatically changed not only her office, but the entire front of the building, and in record time.
The parking brake clicked into place, and Alex remained rooted in her seat.
That dirt track was as much a part of her as the blood her body needed to survive. Breathing in the scent, the faint hint of exhaust fumes from a passing bike, she watched as two riders entered the corner they were parked near. A light breeze blew through the open Jeep, and a loose strand of hair fell on her face. Brushing it away, Alex pulled in a steeling breath. With her hand on the door handle, it was Dallas’s hand on her bare thigh that stopped her.
Glancing from his hand to his face, she saw the concern deepen the lines in his forehead. “We can go whenever you’re ready. Just say the word. Okay?”
Leaning close, she laid her face against his. Nuzzling against the whiskers leftover from last night, she inhaled his scent and whispered, “Okay.” Before she could pull away, he brought his hand to her chin and held her in place, bringing her lips to his for a quick kiss.
For something so new, it had been a long time coming. And it felt right. He felt right. She’d always known soul deep they were meant to be. A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. Jesse’s laughter could be heard across the track. He had moved closer, though he probably hadn’t seen them yet. Dallas kissed her forehead and let her go.
Ruby didn’t move a muscle until Dallas told her it was all right to get out. She was amazing. Without question, she was the smartest dog in the entire world.
“You go stand by Alex, okay? Stay with her.”
The next thing Alex knew, Ruby was trotting around the front of the Jeep and was at her side, just as Dallas had instructed. Alex leaned over, wrapping both arms around her neck and hugging her tight. “I love you girl. You’re just so awesome.” Alex squeaked as Dallas pinched her butt. “Hey!”
“As awesome as I am?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her.
It was incredibly hard work not to break down and laugh, but then he would have marked that down in the win column. So she stuck her tongue out at him instead.
“Oh, yeah, you want to go there?”
That one-liner was one every person in their family had taken on over the years. It was their trademark of sorts that could only be taken one way…as a challenge.
Alex waited for him to take one step toward her, then darted the other direction to hide behind the Jeep. Dallas however, anticipated her move and acted accordingly, catching her around the waist and swinging her around in a circle just like he had done too many times to count. She broke down and laughed, squealing loudly as he swooped her legs up and started carrying her toward the fence line.
He looked happy for the first time since he had returned home almost a month ago.
It seemed everything was related to that day. On a timeline, all events fell before or after that marked time, and it was as if everything after had a huge dark black cloud over it, but Ruby was changing things. Dallas gave her a miracle the morning he told the mass of fur and muscle to hop up on the bed. There were still lots of moments when she’d find herself fighting the darkness and anxiety, but having herself wedged between Ruby and Dallas twenty-four hours a day was easing the stress tremendously. She could breathe for the first time. Seeing Dallas smile helped. His kisses were magical. And being in his arms, his gray eyes twinkling at her like they were right now—she lived for it.
The man could be as ornery as the day was long. And she loved that about him. He could take teasing and playfulness, but was also content lying in bed just talking or hanging out with her parents. With him, there were no games, no pretenses. The cards were on the table and there was no guessing. She knew exactly where she stood with him. Especially after he’d placed her hand over his hard-on.
Alex felt her cheeks flame at the memory.
Her face went fire engine red as he was carrying her, and he could tell by the way she was moving her mouth, she was biting the inside of her cheek to keep from grinning. Something had crossed her mind. Being a proud man, he could only assume that she was thinking about a certain event. This day just kept getting better and better.
“So, eh, what’s the blushing for?” He grinned.
“Nothing.”
“I’m not going to put you down until you tell me.”
Alex let go of his neck so she was pure weight in his arms. Like that was going to hurt him. Although Jack had filled out and no one would ever guess, Alex still had the petite stature of being a twin, and had never outgrown it. She’d barely climbed over five foot, and after the last month of hell, she barely weighed more than his pinkie finger.
“You can’t hold me all day. Eventually your arms will get tired.”
He smirked. “Are you calling me a wimp? You think I don’t work out enough? Is that what you’re insinuating? Huh, girl?”
“Does the shoe fit?”
Dallas picked up his pace toward the fence with a plan. “Oh, honey, you may have just bitten off more than you can chew.”
“I’m not worried about the pond honey. You can’t get over the fence with me in your arms to even come close to throwing me in it. So there.”
“Challenge accepted, honey.” Dallas rearranged his load, with her laughing and fighting him the entire time. In the end, she was still under his control and over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, so he easily climbed over the fence. Alex kicked her legs and smacked at his butt with both hands. “Oh, I like that. Do it again.” He taunted as he crossed the track to the other side.
“You, perv. Put me down. Dallas, don’t you dare throw me in. I mean it. I go in—you go in.” She had a death grip around his waist while he only laughed at her threat with more gusto than he had in weeks.
“Dallas. Don’t. Dallas!”
He stopped just shy of the bank and slid her down the front of him, stopping with her held waist-high. Her face was bright-red, her loose braid was now a complete mess, and she had tears in her eyes. But for the first time in too long, they were from joy and laughter instead o
f pain. Wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck of her own accord was the equivalent of Heaven for him.
“I love you, Lex.”
She sighed as if he’d just given her the world, then placed the softest feather-light kiss he’d ever felt on his lips. “I love you, too.”
“Does it feel good to be back?”
Alex only nodded with a tug at the corner of her mouth. Letting her slide the rest of the way to the grass below, he quickly took her hand. “I mean it. Whenever you’re ready, we’ll go.”
“Okay.”
Holding her fingers laced in his, she stood next to him, watching the handful of bikes as they made their way around the large track. Glancing around at her other side, Ruby sat as still as a statue as Alex’s hand gently rubbed her head. The three of them remained that way for the longest time. And just as he had expected the peace washed over her.
Without a flicker of thought she let go, walking back toward the Jeep and away from the pond that was in the west corner.
Dallas stood with his hands in his pockets and a smile smeared across his face, waiting for her to reach her destination. She turned to the sweeping corner, and as the Honda rode toward her she waved him over to her. The rider immediately reacted, turning the bike off and removing his goggles. Dallas didn’t need to move, and Ruby seemed to sense her spot was by his side for the moment. The rider nodded, then turned behind him to point at a line in the dirt. Alex shook her head and walked to that spot. With her toe, she drew a new line in the dirt, going back and forth several times until it was deep enough the rider would see it on a bike.
He gave her a thumbs up and put his goggles back on. Starting the bike back up, he pulled off the track and made a giant circle to hit the corner again like she had instructed him to, taking the new line she’d drawn especially for him. As he floated through the corner with a newfound speed, he hit the next jump and cleared it easily. Cutting back off the track, he rode back to sweep by her, holding his hand out as he passed to thank her, then went back to his laps.