Keithon silently said, “I love you.” I could read his lips so clearly. This hurt me because this could be the last time he ever said those words to me.
I entered the room, then the cop pulled the chair out for me. I didn’t know the cop’s name, but he was a big white guy with dark hair. He looked like he was about to bust out of his uniform. As I sat down, the cop left the room. I never saw that man again.
The room was empty except for a table and three chairs. The walls were a light shade of gray. As I waited for someone to come into the room, I continued to look around. Of course, I compared everything to how it looked on the shows my mom and I used to watch. And everything seemed to be the same.
Two guys with suits and ties on walked in. They both sat down and said, “Hello.” I could tell one of the guys was trying to read me by the way he kept looking at me.
“My name is Thomas, and this is Officer Robinson,” Officer Thomas told me.
About an hour passed. It felt like I was asked a million unnecessary questions, like how I felt, what my height was, and what I was interested in. I could tell they were just trying to get to know me better overall as an person. This was nothing like what I watched in the shows. In the shows there was always a good cop and a bad cop, but not here. They were really serious but not mean or bad people.
Officer Thomas stopped talking, and Officer Robinson began. This is when the serious questions started. “Are you attracted to Officer James?” Officer Robinson asked.
I didn’t respond to the question. Officer Robinson gave me a look like he already knew the answer.
“Why won’t you answer the question? Do you have something to hide? What’s wrong?” the officer asked.
I continued to be quiet.
“Okay, how about we take a break? Want some water?” Officer Robinson asked.
“Yes! I would love some,” I responded.
I drank some of my water and told myself that I loved Keithon so much. At least I thought I had said it to myself, until I saw the officers’ eyes widen. My face changed with a look of wonder.
Officer Robinson said, “Yes, Ms. Turner, you did say that out loud.”
I never said anything else to the officers that day. I felt like crying. I knew I did something wrong.
Officer Thomas told Officer Robinson, “I guess this interrogation is over.”
Chapter Twelve
Keithon
I couldn’t believe we were caught. I’d spent my whole life putting criminals in these interrogation rooms, and now I was in one. I hoped Renee was okay, and I hoped she would not tell those officers anything at all. Maybe we still had a chance to get out free with a clean slate. But deep inside I knew it was not that easy, especially since we were caught in my parents’ house together.
The door opened. My own partner, Officer Tanner Braylock, and some other officer named Marcus were going to ask me questions about the situation. They both were wearing blue police uniforms, which made me think of how I was just a cop and now I was a criminal. I sat in silence at the big, round brown desk, tapping my feet and avoiding looking Braylock in the eyes. I could feel them both staring at me, disappointed, but who gave a damn?
“Hello, Keithon. Funny seeing you here,” Officer Braylock said.
“Whatever, you piece of shit. Get this over with,” I said, annoyed.
“Hey, wise ass, we’re giving orders here, okay?” Officer Marcus said angrily.
“Why didn’t you report in when you had her? If I had known she was a runaway that night, I would have,” Officer Braylock said.
“I plead the Fifth,” I said jokingly.
“Listen here, you little shit—” Officer Marcus said.
“Marcus, I got this. Just go stand outside. Give us a couple of minutes,” Braylock said.
I was glad Braylock said something. I was starting to get angry. How the hell was this officer I didn’t even know giving me orders?
Marcus left the room and slammed the door behind him. I could tell Officer Marcus really did not want to leave the room, but I guessed he left out of respect for Braylock.
“Now listen, Keithon, you could go to prison for a long time. I could see to it that your time in prison is short if you just cooperate with me,” Braylock said calmly.
“Oh, so you’re returning favors after all I’ve done for you. Oh, like the time I saved your life or maybe the time I got you this job,” I said, annoyed by his response.
“Stop, Keithon, don’t play the blackmail game. You did this to yourself. I’m just following orders,” Officer Braylock said, angry.
I sat there, angry. I hated that I missed Renee, and I hated that I did not know how she was. And this made me hurt, and I took this out on Officer Braylock, but at this time I did not care at all.
“You love her, don’t you? You did not bring her back once you found out who she was because you fell in love. Am I right or wrong?” Officer Braylock asked me.
“That’s none of your business, okay?” I said, annoyed.
“You did. The moment you saw her that night you fell in love with her!” Officer Braylock said with confidence in his voice like he knew actually how I felt that night.
“Finish your questions so I can go to my cell,” I responded to Officer Braylock.
“I’m done. Follow me,” Officer Braylock said as he stood up.
I got up and followed him out the door as he grabbed on to my handcuffs. As we walked into the hall, I saw Officer Marcus standing by the door, looking at me with a smile. Officer Marcus was an asshole. I knew this with all my heart and soul. It was like Officer Marcus was getting a high off of seeing me hurt, but I just looked away and kept walking. He followed Officer Braylock and me.
But then I could not help myself. We walked to a cell block, and out of anger, I spat into Officer Marcus’s face then shook apart from Officer Braylock’s grip. I hit Officer Marcus in the nose with my shoulder as hard as I could. I tried pounding him with my fist as he leaned to the side trying to contain me. Trying to pound him with my fist did not work out that well, so I just kicked him in his privates.
Another officer saw this and tackled me to the ground. I hit my head on the cell door. I was knocked unconscious, because when I woke up, I was in a dark room called the hole. This was where all criminals went if they committed crimes in jail.
“Keithon, because you tried to pull a fast one you will be in here for three weeks,” Officer Braylock said outside the door.
Braylock closed the slit where the light from the outside beamed through. The place was dark and scary. I screamed, “Help, help. Someone help me!” But no one came. “You fucking no-good cops. I was the best y’all ever had!” I shouted this over and over until I could not do it anymore. I began to feel lonely. I started talking to myself. I was losing my grip on reality. I felt hopeless and afraid. I had no one but this cold-ass chill I kept feeling in the air. And even that kept coming and going, and this was making me lose my mind.
I thought about Renee all the time. I started to imagine her everywhere. I even started asking the image of Renee that I saw questions like, “Is that really you, Renee? Do you still love me? Are you here with me?” The crazy part was that Renee would respond. She would answer, “I’m here, honey. I do love you. I am right here with you.” Those were the answers I wanted to hear anyway.
I did not eat for at least two days, did not sleep for one, and had not washed up in three. Even when they did try to give me food, I would not eat it at first. I sat in my own filth. I reeked of shit and urine. After a week I could not see Renee’s image in the cell anymore. It hurt me not to see Renee’s image anymore, even though I knew the image was not real. It was still nice to see her.
After I started to get my sleep and started to eat, I did not focus on thoughts of her that much. The three grueling weeks were up, and after I was arraigned, I got a cell with a bed and a roommate. We did not talk those first four days, but he was very respectful by staying on his side of the cell.
I also had a few personal items, which were a notebook that I wrote in, my toothbrush, and a picture of Renee that hung on the side of my bed. Those things I had were the only things I had there besides thoughts of my beloved. I grabbed the pen from my back pocket and started to write in my notebook.
Entry 1
February 25, 2018
Renee, wherever you are, I hope you are okay, and I hope you are staying to yourself. I miss you so much and this pain I feel in my heart is overwhelming. Sometimes I feel like what’s the point of living because of how much stress I’m under. But the thought of leaving you is what drives my mind before I take my life. I cannot leave you behind, and I will not do that. I know you need me even more than I need you. I love you so much, and I hope one day that we will be together in a place where it is just us.
I closed the book and put it under my pillow then fell straight to sleep.
Chapter Thirteen
Renee
It was 9:00 a.m. I was in the back of a cop car on my way back to Calming Meadows. A mental house because I was mental, right? Wait! Don’t answer that. I wouldn’t lie. I kind of thought I was mental after my mom died but only because I had so much hate in my soul, and I know that’s not normal. But after meeting Keithon, I knew I wasn’t mental. Well, at least I thought I wasn’t. To be honest, I did not even know what mental meant exactly. But I knew I wasn’t the same as the other people in that place.
We pulled in the parking lot of the place. I smiled because the one and only good thing about this place was that I would hopefully get to see Shondra. I had not seen her in a couple months.
It was different now. I’d never been on this side of the building before. The walls were the same with the flowers on them, but . . . Wait, never mind.
We went through two doors, and I was back on the side I lived on before I ran away. I went back to my same room. Shondra was nowhere to be found. A lady dressed all in white came in and gave me something to put on. It was a plain blue top that said “Sunshine” on it, and the lady gave me a pair of pants, too. She walked me to the bathroom.
Before I entered, I said, “I’ve been here before. I know where the bathroom is.”
The lady replied, “Look, whatever. I’m told I have to watch you. You ran away once, and we do not want that to happen again.”
I went into the bathroom and changed into my uniform. Once I was finished, I came out of the bathroom.
“I’m sorry for being rude. My name is Ms. Taylor. If you need anything while you’re here, come to me.”
“Okay, I will.” I shrugged my shoulders. I guessed I’d be seeing a lot of her while I was here, since she went out of her way to tell me her name.
Back in the room, we found Shondra lying on the bed. I was so surprised to see her.
“Okay, my office is down the hall, make a right, and it’s the first door on the left. So if you need anything, come to me,” Ms. Taylor told me.
“Okay, cool. I will.”
“Also, early tomorrow we have to ask you some questions. I will come by your room early, around ten. One last thing, after tonight this will no longer be your room,” Ms. Taylor told me.
“Wait! Where will I go?” I begged to know intensely with a great amount of curiosity.
“We will talk about it tomorrow.” Ms. Taylor smiled.
Ms. Taylor finally walked away. I went to our room door and peeked around to make sure she had left. We couldn’t close the door because there was a rule now that you could not close the door during the daytime.
So I walked to Shondra’s bed, hugged her, and said, “I missed you so much!” very quietly but with power in my voice because I really meant it.
“I missed you too, Renee! Why are you back? What happened?” Shondra asked. I knew she was eager to know. I could hear it in her voice.
“It’s a long story.”
“Renee, you have to tell me.”
“Okay, I will,” I said as I lowered my voice. “After I ran away I met this guy. He’s a cop. He found me but didn’t know I ran away, but even when he did find out, he didn’t turn me in. I fell in love with him. I never cared about anyone as much as I cared about him!”
“Wow! Well, how did they catch you? Did the cop end up turning you in?” Shondra asked.
“No! Keithon would never do that.”
“Well, who did?”
“The police found us in a house where we were staying, but I knew it was just a matter of time,” I replied.
Shondra followed up by asking, “What do you mean, a matter of time?”
“His parents found out who I was because the cops were coming to their house asking questions. So I figured they were going to find me,” I replied. “Okay, enough about me. What’s going on with you? Have you talked to anyone?” I asked.
“No. I am the same. I still never talk to anyone here. But I will admit I got lonely without you here. You are my only friend. I’ve been seeing people lately who are not really there. I think it’s from me being so lonely.”
“Yeah, I missed you too. You are the one thing I regret leaving behind,” I replied, kind of looking past the last thing she said.
“Is that bad?” Shondra inquired.
“Is what bad?”
“Wishing you were here even though I knew you hated this place?”
“No, that is not bad at all. Hey, girl, I haven’t seen Mrs. Sims. Where is she?” I asked with old feelings coming back to my mind.
“She doesn’t work here anymore. She quit.”
“What?” I said in shock of the news I was hearing. “Why’d she quit? I mean, I’m happy the bitch is gone, but why?”
“She never did tell anyone why. With you gone I did a lot of listening, and I actually overheard three workers while I was at lunch one day talking about how she never told anyone, even the people she was close to. It is kind of weird.”
“Yeah, it is, but I’m happy that she is gone and I won’t have to see her while I am here.”
She and I talked for hours, and it was finally time for us to go to sleep. Shondra got up and turned off the lights. Ten minutes passed, and I was still up and couldn’t go to sleep. I was just thinking about a lot of things. It felt nice to know Shondra cared about me enough to want me back here. This was the last thing on my mind before I fell asleep.
Chapter Fourteen
Keithon
Even though I was a cop, I started to adapt to prison life. But I had to say, I wasn’t used to taking orders from cops who had worked right beside me in the precinct. People I worked with, cops who put in good words for me to the chief, were now telling me what to do. I’d never imagined this day would happen, when I could not even talk to my buddy Braylock without him treating me like a criminal.
It took three months before I even felt comfortable to walk outside the cell. I stayed posted in the small box, writing poems and avoiding other prisoners. I tried to make sure to avoid prisoners because I put some of them in this prison. And if they recognized me they would have probably beaten me to death. So my cell was the only safe place to stay.
Some of the officers around the cell blocks were nice to me. They would let me stay in the cell and also bring me lunch so I would not eat with the prisoners. Yes, even though it was prison, and I was now a criminal, I also had advantages. I kept to myself and only talked to my cellmate. I would share things with him about me and Renee and what I went through to save her.
He would say, “Why so much for a crazy bitch?”
I told him, “I never thought Renee was mental. She was a lost little girl who searched for the love she never had.”
He would laugh and tell me she had me hooked like a fish and if I were rich, she would probably steal my money. But what the hell did he know? He was a damn criminal and was used to people around him stealing.
Today I wanted to do something in prison that I had not done, and that was walk to the basketball court. Usually at 12:30 p.m. no one was there, and today the officers would make sure no one
would be there so I could play a little basketball by myself without worrying about getting stabbed or hit. I knew personally that prison was a little rough, and it would be especially if someone found out I put them in jail. So I headed down to the basketball court while the prisoners were at lunch.
I shot around for a long time. It was pretty relaxing and took my mind off of everything. I was just by myself, just shooting the ball around without the sounds of fights and angry police officers. Yeah, I could do this every day. Plus, I could come outside to breathe in the fresh air. So I shot around, but then the door opened and out came ten prisoners. I was pretty scared because they looked straight at me with the eyes of wolves who’d just seen a deer.
Most of them were black and Mexican, but two were white. There was one short man who stood out because I’d put this man in jail not too long ago. Fear came to me. Oh, shit. He has found me. What will he do to me right now? His name was Malik Mason, a drug lord I put in jail nearly three years ago. Malik was about five feet three inches, with no hair at all on his head. He was sporting multiple types of tattoos on his body and even a couple on his face, but there was one that stood out the most to me. It was the name “Unique” on his forearm, the lower part of his arm. Right above the name was a little girl’s face. I didn’t know why this stood out to me, but I was surprised to see any sign of Malik having a heart or caring for someone other than himself.
“So you tried hiding from me? Is that how to treat an old friend?” Malik smirked sarcastically.
“I’m just playing a simple game of basketball, dude. I don’t want any problems.”
“Dude, I’m not trying anything. Plus, you have your cops on your side,” Malik said laughing to his friends.
Malik came toward my ear then whispered in it, saying, “I heard about your little bitch Renee and how she was a fucking nut. So you like your women crazy?”
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