So, they understood, and Ellie knew she could find comfort in it.
“I’d like to leave tonight.”
“’Course we can. Let’s put some distance between…well, you know,” said Talia.
… … …
Janie would never show tears, but standing in the parking lot, hands on Ellie’s waist and elbows locked, she looked her in the eye, a combination of ’buck up sister’ and ’I’m so very sorry I was wrong’.
“You come back anytime,” she said.
“I will,” replied Ellie, wondering how many years it would take to not care if she ran into Brody.
Talia and Holly argued quietly over whether one of them should drive with Ellie. In the end, Talia drove her own truck, and Holly, promising her sister–in–law it would be okay, got in beside Ellie.
“What was that about?” No use for pretense anymore.
“She’s worried I’m going to tell you things you don’t want to hear.”
“Oh?”
“But I think they’re things you need to hear. Because you think Brody is perfect right now, and you’ve missed an opportunity. But you don’t know that. You look lost, Elsie, and I think I might be able to relieve your sadness somewhat.”
This was starting to get strange. Ellie turned on the radio and let the Pistol Annies lilt and croon in the background.
“Okay…” Ellie wasn’t so sure about Brody being ’perfect’. But hearing how he sucked? It might help.
Holly turned sideways in her seat to face her. Ellie furrowed her brow as she shot Holly a quick glance, checked her mirrors and pulled onto the highway.
“First, I need your absolute, most sincere promise what I am about to tell you stays in this car, between us. I don’t want anyone else to know I’ve told you.”
“Go on.”
“In exchange, I want you to tell me a secret that will stay with me and me only. We need to have something on each other.”
Ellie glanced away from the road to try and read Holly’s expression. Everything she knew about the woman was solid. Honest. Trustworthy.
She swallowed hard.
Right now she’d do about anything right to relieve her pain. And if Holly had some secret information which would make her feel like she’d dodged a bullet, she’d go for it. Bigamy? Jail time? Secret family? She’d take anything.
Here goes.
“I’m a reporter. My real name is Ellie Donovan. I came out here to do a story for Modern Luxury magazine.”
Tension drained right off her shoulders and flew out the tips of her toes. God, it felt good. She stretched her neck from side to side and a smile crept up on her.
She glanced at Holly again. Her mouth was agape.
“You’re not allowed to tell,” Ellie said. After a long moment, Holly finally replied.
“I won’t,” she said. But there was concern in her eyes. “Keep talking.”
… … …
Once she started, Ellie spilled it all. It felt good to give up the lie and be herself again for the first time in four weeks. She even explained why she had to keep the secret, despite the fact she’d been called home. Reputations and jobs and friendships were on the line. Colt was a serious asshole. Holly nodded, listening.
“I’m supposed to be writing a story about the top money earners.”
“Which is why you were with Brody.”
“No, not exactly. I mean, he tastes good for a cowboy–” Holly giggled and Ellie shook her head, a genuine, lighthearted laugh bubbling out of her for the first time. “I meant, he has good taste for a cowboy.”
Ellie felt Holly’s eyes on her. What did the woman think she could see? Hopefully not what Ellie was actually feeling, the burrowed–in love she carried for a man who was done with her.
“You wanted to get a story out of him, though. It must have been hard for you, with him not willing to talk,” Holly said.
That’s not what this is about.
Ellie shook her head no, but the word didn’t come out. She grimaced as her stomach pitched. Maybe she had been hoping for a good story, pushing it along in her own way, once given the opportunity.
“But Colt was right in a sense,” Holly said.
That burned her. “Colt is a cheat and a liar. Whatever benefit came of me being with Brody wasn’t meant to give him an unfair advantage.”
What was it meant to do?
“Why did you do it, then?”
Was Holly trying to provoke her? Ellie narrowed her eyes and flicked away from the road to give her a mean stare. But the woman’s sweet face, eyebrow lifted in challenge, called for the truth.
Because I love him.
“I don’t know.”
She knew how childish it sounded. But those words spoken aloud would hurt. So, no, she wasn’t going to say it. Not to the eyebrow, or anyone.
“Maybe you should tell me your secret now.”
Holly asked a few more questions about the magazine, Ellie answered, and the car went quiet. The long dark road stretched out before them, the only lights the stars above and those on Talia’s truck a quarter mile ahead. The moon was hiding, making a dark silhouette of the mountain range to the west.
“Your turn, Holly.”
“Gavin and I have an open relationship.”
“And Brody knows?” Ellie didn’t see how it would make it easier to walk away. Knowing he was open–minded actually made her like him more.
“Yes. Could you maybe pull over…?”
Ellie pulled to the side of the road and saw the brake lights on Talia’s truck glow red. Holly’s phone rang a second later.
“We’re fine, Tal. No. Just go on.”
She hung up.
“I didn’t know they were like this when I married Gavin. He told me on our wedding night and asked me to be open to loving people in ways which were not conventional, but meant a lot to him.”
They.
“What does that have to do with Brody?” Ellie asked, the words drying in her mouth. She swallowed, eyes closed. She knew the answer already.
“I haven’t been with Brody in a long time. Probably six months or more. In the beginning it was this wild, fun thing with him, but if I was going to do this, I wanted it to be about love. Brody doesn’t love me like that, Ellie. I don’t love him that way either. He’s not like Gavin or McKenna.”
“I don’t…How could…All of them? They’re all…”
Was Holly fortunate or just naïve? She reached for Ellie’s hand, resting on the wheel. Ellie stared at the fingers entwined over hers, then pulled away, twisted her hands in her lap and stared out the window.
“Not all. We started out that way, but I’m not for all of them, and not all of them are for me. Not even a little.”
“I never thought I’d judge someone for their…bedroom choices.” Ellie squirmed at the awkward phrase. Couldn’t she just say sexual orientation?
“I’m glad to know it. But it’s Brody, and you love him. I understand.”
Ellie nodded. It’s Brody.
She blew out a breath and let her head sink back into the headrest. A sick laugh rang out from her.
“You’ve been with him.”
We’ve both been with him.
She turned to stare at Holly–sweet, pretty, Holly–and felt no jealousy. Why was that? Did it mean she didn’t really love Brody? She almost wanted to ask what it had been like, but stopped short of doing so.
Holly seemed to be considering how to respond to Ellie’s statement.
“Yes. Twice.” She said finally. “The first time for the excitement of it. And the second time…I think it was to make sure we were right the first time.” Holly laughed and Ellie let herself smile softly. “We didn’t have chemistry. Affection, yes. I liked it. But I didn’t love him, and love was the deal.”
“The deal?”
“I’ll only have an ongoing sexual relationship with someone if I love them and they love me back.”
“And Gavin has sex with other women. Oh, God.
Talia? Is she…”
“No, he hasn’t. That’s not what it’s about for him. Not so far anyway. Talia and Abel are monogamous.”
“Were you ever with Abel?”
“Yes.”
Silence.
“He terrified me, but I feel for him. I had to let him go.” She laughed. “Well, when Talia showed up, I had no choice. She healed him. She saved his life. But that’s a story for another time.”
“I think I’m ready to drive now.” Ellie needed something to distract her as she made sense of the lightness in her body, as if she’d been relieved of a heavy pack she’d forgotten she was carrying. She didn’t feel great about this revelation, but…shouldn’t she feel worse?
Not really. Learning the absolute truth of a thing had always left her feeling settled. It was how she knew when an assignment she’d been working on was truly finished, all necessary parts of the story included.
Miles stretched on and on before she spoke again.
“Does Brody want what you and Gavin have?”
Holly touched Ellie’s shoulder, then retreated.
“It’s always a possibility. Forgive me for saying this, Elsie–I mean, Ellie. It takes a certain type of person to want this and be okay if it happens. This isn’t the first shared relationship Brody has been in. It’s the second. Somewhere down the road, he could want what Gavin and I have. I cannot say for sure, but it is possible. It’s what he knows of love.”
… … …
As if it couldn’t get worse, when they arrived at Cameron Ranch, Gavin told them the guest room in his and Holly’s cabin was in use by a horse trainer who needed a bed for the night. He and Holly exchanged heavy glances, and led her to the main house.
She knew whose room they were giving her, but pushed the discomfort aside, promising herself a good night’s sleep would help no matter whose bed she slept in.
But when her head hit the pillow, she smelled him.
Brody.
She inhaled deeply, wishing him here, wishing him away.
She’d dream of him and leave tears on his pillow before the night was over.
… … …
Cameron Ranch, near Missoula, Montana
Two Weeks Later
“Oh!” Holly startled as she hung up the kitchen phone and Brody stomped through the back door.
“You knew I was coming back today,” he said, hating the bitterness in his tone. It was his own damn fault after all. Back from the circuit after two weeks, empty–handed. Back in his all–too–familiar slump and really hating it this time.
Holly’s eyes sparkled at him.
Brody groaned and pressed his thumb and forefinger between his eyes. It was no use. He had no interest in her, nice as she was.
“Holly, I can’t…it’s not right between you and me…you know that. It’s sweet of you to want to…give comfort.” Even saying the specific words felt like a betrayal of his love for Elsie. As if he hadn’t betrayed her enough.
He felt like an ass for having sex with her after she’d been attacked by Colt. He thought it was best to leave her alone after. Let her forget about him and move on.
“No, Brody…I wasn’t…I didn’t mean–here.” She thrust the torn notepaper at him.
“What’s this? Who’s Cooper Mason?”
Chapter Ten
Manhattan, New York City,
Brody Cameron strolled into the exact opposite of his life. Marble floors and walls and cathedral ceilings like no church he’d ever been to. Elevator banks, people in suits or pencil skirts and heels, and not one pair of muddy cowboy boots anywhere.
The scene in the lobby made the adrenaline pump harder through his veins, and he was feeling skittish and panicky. Claustrophobic. Get in, get out, do yer job, Cameron. He imagined himself like Midnight, his cutting horse, separating his Elsie from the rest of this urban herd and getting her back where she belonged. Throw the girl over his lap and ride her the hell outta here.
He stood in front of the directory for a good coupla minutes, scanning for the floor number of Modern Luxury. He didn’t bother calling Cooper Mason back. He booked a flight and figured whatever the man had to ask him, he could ask in person.
Why couldn’t Elsie work for American Cowboy or Western Horseman or Popular Mechanics, for goodness sake? He’d read up on her magazine and couldn’t for the life of him figure out what the hell they wanted with him. He did pretty good on the circuit in the past, sure, but he wasn’t one of the highest all–time money earners.
But you will be. Specially with the right girl by your side.
He had good taste for a cowboy, he guessed. Maybe that was it.
He finally located the floor number and headed for the elevator banks. What kind of person works thirty–eight stories up in the air? It’s unnatural.
Brody’s knees wobbled as they raced skyward away from God’s green earth. Just as he thought they were going to blow through the roof, the elevator whizzed to a stop and the doors slid open on a sleek black and white lobby. The subdued sounds of keys clacking, buzzing and humming were a far cry better than the racket in the lobby, and Brody’s nerves finally started to settle.
He’d looked back at his elevator mates and tipped his hat as he exited, but no one had smiled. Sheesh.
The pixie of a receptionist looked up from her desk and did a double–take. Guess Modern Luxury doesn’t get too many cowboy hats coming to visit. He made his way over and touched the brim.
“I’m here to see Cooper Mason.”
“Is Mr. Mason expecting you?”
“No, ma’am. But he’ll want to see me.”
“This isn’t extortion is it? Blackmail?” she purred. Oh, is that how it is? He hadn’t planned to flirt his way into their offices, but apparently Mr. Trace Adkins was absolutely correct. Ladies love country boys and Brody Cameron would do quite nicely.
“He wanted me to answer some questions for a story Elsie wrote,” Brody said casually, though his palms were starting to sweat.
“Elsie?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Oh, you must mean Ellie.“
“Lord, yes,“ he grinned and popped the reception desk with his fist. “Elsie’s a terrible name for a rancher’s wife.”
“Pardon?”
“Is she here?”
“No, I’m afraid not.”
Brody’s heart sank in his chest and he didn’t hide it quickly enough. The girl was staring at him.
“Look, I need her–need to see her, I mean.”
She nodded, not hiding her disappointment either.
“I can see that.”
He stood there like a jackass another minute, at a loss as to how to turn the charm back on after showing his cards, when she lifted her phone and spoke in a hushed tone.
“Your name, please?”
Before he could answer, the girl lowered the receiver, looking over his shoulder, a bemused look on her face.
“Brody Cameron,” said a voice behind him. The sweetest voice he’d ever heard.
“Ellie, Mr. Cooper says to bring Mr. Cameron to the Gotham Conference Room,” the receptionist said.
Neither of them had moved to close the distance. He raked his eyes from her spiked heels to her tailored business skirt and silk blouse, to her mouth, and swallowed. Ellie let him look at her, averting her eyes, not knowing if catching his stare would make her tear up.
She turned on her heel.
“This way, please.” She didn’t dare look back.
What was he doing here?
How did he have Cooper’s name?
Did Holly tell her secret after all?
Cooper and Ellie’s assistant Janelle were already in the conference room.
“Cooper Mason, this is Brody Cameron. He’s one of the bull riders I…met…on the circuit.”
Cooper reached out to shake Brody’s hand and offer him a seat. “I know who Mr. Cameron is from your notes, Ellie. You could have simply returned my call. You have access to modern technology, do
you not?”
Why was Cooper being such an ass? Ellie shot him a cold stare, as they all took seats around the glossy wood conference table. Cooper replied with a raised eyebrow. A challenge. She knew that look. He was giving Brody a hard time on her behalf.
“That’s unnecessary,” she cut in, and finally looked at Brody. Her knees nearly buckled.
“I figured Ellie deserved a face–to–face exclusive, Coop,” he replied, his eyes never leaving her.
Ellie licked her lips and Brody took a deep, shaky breath.
Abruptly, he stood. Ellie swallowed.
“Restroom is down the hall on the lef–” Cooper began.
“The, ah, supply room. Tell me where that is.”
“It’s uh–”
He didn’t even wait.
At once, Janelle and Cooper turned to stare at Ellie.
“Is he going to piss on our post–its?” Cooper asked. Ellie scowled at him. She had a feeling she wasn’t going to be keeping this job much longer anyway.
She bolted from the meeting room, stopping short to crane over the cubicles. A door slammed shut on the other side of the office. Ellie tried not to run, spinning to see if anyone was watching her, chuckling when she caught sight of Janelle pushing her boss back into the conference room, shaking her head.
When she finally grabbed the handle and swung the door open, breathless, he wasn’t smiling. She yanked the door shut behind her and reached overhead to pull the string and turn out the light.
They fell into darkness. Ellie counted eight long seconds before they began to touch each other with tentative, trembling fingers. After a moment, Brody froze. He grasped her upper arms and pressed his forehead to hers, shaking his head slowly, then reached overhead and turned on the light.
“Ellie…” he said, touching her cheek, searching her eyes. “I love…the sound of your name.”
Brought to His Knees-Tough Guys Laid Low By Love Page 53