RHONDA LEE CARVER
Kissed, Spurred, & Valentined
2016 Rhonda Lee Carver
Copyright 2016 Rhonda Lee Carver
All rights reserved
Kissed, Spurred, & Valentined (Book 4, Cowboys of Nirvana)
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. NO part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form without permission from the author, Rhonda Lee Carver—except by a reviewer who may quote brief passages written in a review. For information, please contact Rhonda Lee Carver @ [email protected].
This work is fiction. The characters, incidents, and dialogue in this work are from the author’s imagination and creation. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, dead or alive, is completely coincidental.
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Table of Contents
Front Matter
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Back Matter
Bonus – Secret Pressure (Chapter One)
CHAPTER ONE
“WHAT ARE YOU doing? Where are you going, Jax?”
Jaxene Morgan reached into the top drawer of her dresser, grabbed a handful of clothes and threw them into her open suitcase, then glanced across the bed at her assistant and friend, Tina. “The marriage is off, but I still have a honeymoon waiting for me at Nirvana Ranch.”
Tina sighed. “Do you really think this is the best time to pick up and leave?”
Studying the petite blonde, Jax narrowed her eyes. “Well, let’s see. My fiancé has called off the wedding. His reasoning? We’ve grown apart. I think this is as good a time as any to do something for myself.” Reaching into her dresser again, she grabbed intimate garments, not caring if they were the luxurious silk and lace she’d bought for her honeymoon or the granny panties for those days she didn’t give a shit. No one would be seeing them anyway. She wasn’t sure whether she should be happy with that fact or not. Either way, she needed to get away… and fast.
Concern etched lines in Tina’s face. “There will be shrapnel…”
Stuffing the last bit of clothing into the case, Jax dropped down onto the bed, giving her friend a forced smile. “Honey, Travis decided he didn’t want to marry me. Remember? Twenty four hours before we were supposed to fly to Wyoming where we planned to marry at Nirvana on Valentine’s Day, he had a prolific dream where he and I were stuck on an island with a hurricane surrounding us and he took that as a warning sign that we aren’t meant for each other.”
Tina blinked. “Since when did Travis become so insightful?”
“The man couldn’t even predict the rain when it was storming outside and suddenly he thinks his dreams are telling him something.” Jax blew out a long breath.
“This might not be the time, but as your friend I have to say what’s on my mind. Maybe Travis was on to something?”
“Seriously?”
“Come on, Jax. Since he asked you to marry him you’ve been out of the country more than in the country. I think your parents loved the idea of you marrying Travis more than you did.”
Tina’s words settled into Jax’s chest like a bad case of indigestion. “And you’re just now telling me this?”
“I tried, but you seemed happy in your bubble.” Tina plucked at the fringe of the comforter.
“I don’t have a bubble.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Most people do.” Jax sniffed loudly.
“But not everyone has the luxury of having a career that allows them to run from the real world.” Tina jutted her jaw and met Jax’s gaze.
“Are you still attending the empowering groups?”
Tina chuckled. “I am.”
“They’re working. This is a far cry from the girl who used to apologize at the end of every sentence.” Jax grabbed her pillow and hugged it close to her chest, trying to wrap her brain around Tina’s wisdom. “Maybe his dream was a sign.”
“Maybe this is for the best.”
“It just came a little late. I have the dress, the expensive one that could have paid the rent for two months. The caterers had the filet mignon defrosted. Flowers were ordered and the tickets to Nirvana were purchased. Do you think it could have been possible for Travis to have his divine intervention sometime in the course of our four-year relationship instead of the second before he’s supposed to jump off the cliff? Oh yes, there could be shrapnel if I stick around.”
“I agree that he was a bit slow in his decision, but most men are. Do you think running off to Wyoming, in the middle of nowhere, and checking into a honeymoon suite as a single woman will make you feel better?”
“Correction. It’s a cabin, not a suite. And although the retreat is in the middle of nowhere, we’re not talking foreign-country-middle-of-nowhere. They do speak English, they have running water, and I hear the views are killer. Yes, a little photography therapy is exactly what the doctor ordered.” She tossed her pillow to the side.
“Don’t hate me, but you seem…well, okay with the break up. That should definitely be an eye opener where the heart is.” Tina shook her head. “It’s hard to explain, but when my cousin Nilly’s boyfriend broke up with her she was a ball of blubbering chaos. I couldn’t even get her out of bed for a week.”
“I did cry.”
“Over not getting to eat the bacon wrapped shrimp or Travis?”
Jax nibbled on her bottom lip. “I do love Travis.”
“Yes, and you care for the doorman. That doesn’t mean you should marry him.”
“Hey, Devon is always helpful. He carries my bags for me. And by the way, he’s already married,” Jax huffed. “There’s no comparison between Travis and the doorman.”
“Jax, you’re always talking about love, soul mates, and growing old with someone. Do you really see Travis fitting into that role for you?” Tina stood up and crossed her arms over her chest. “After all, you still wear the beads you received from the Guru in India because she said they would bring you luck in love.”
Running her fingers over the smooth beads, Jax fingered the small wooden cross. “I wear it because it’s special.” She didn’t feel as if she owed Tina an explanation, but she wasn’t ashamed that she still wore the necklace. With a frustrated groan, she leaned her back against the plush headboard of the king-size bed, her gaze naturally settling on the framed picture on her nightstand. It was taken last year when Travis had asked her to marry him. They were smiling, appearing so happy, but she remembered how she’d stared blankly at the two karat diamond on her fourth finger. What should have been a glorious, wonderful time in her life had turned out to be the first stages of the lasso being placed around her neck. They’d dated long enough. They had always gotten along and had similar interests, and she’d foolishly believed she would outgrow the reservations deep in her gut. She’d charged into planning her wedding, organizing each and every detail with the care and consideration of a treasure hunt. She’d wanted perfection, or rather, Travis had wanted perfection. If she’d stopped to take a breather, she’d have seen all of the warning signs.
“I’m seeing the bigger picture. Over the last year, Travis and I just went through the motions of being a couple. I was so busy with wedding planning and my career, that it was easy for me to not see the truth. He was just the brave one, capable of pointing the facts out. I guess I should be grateful. I certainly can’t be angry with him.”
“So, you don’t need to fly to Nirvana and spend seven days alone.”
“I said I can’t be angry with him. I didn’t say I wanted to see him right now.” Jax dropped the picture into the top drawer of her nightstand and closed it with a thud that made the lamp wobble.. “I won’t be alone. I’ll have my camera and spectacular views. What more could a photographer ask for?”
“Maybe a groom?” Tina mumbled.
“You’re more troubled over this than I am, honey.” She almost felt sorry for her assistant.
“That’s because reality hasn’t hit you yet.”
Jax chuckled, stood up, and caught her reflection in the dresser mirror. “Oh, it has hit me like a ton of bricks.” She hadn’t slept much in the last two weeks from all of the running and stress, and last night she’d tossed and turned. Her silver blonde hair needed touched up. That was supposed to happen today, but she didn’t much care that she had dark roots. Inky circles lined her red eyes. She hadn’t changed in twenty-four hours. Her T-shirt and pajama bottoms were wrinkled and hung on her. She could see why Tina was worried. Heck, Jax was worried. Running her palms down the cotton shirt that read “I like to flash people” she noticed a large mocha ice cream stain—the evidence that she’d polished off a container while watching cheesy movies. “I’ve thought about this all night and realize I don’t owe Travis anything. I can’t stay here in Chicago. I need new scenery. I need to put things into perspective on my own terms.” She entwined her fingers through her hair, attempting to contain the mess, but it only made the frizz worse. “Do you think I should go brown with caramel highlights?”
Tina groaned. “Sweetheart, why haven’t you learned yet that being impulsive only gets you into trouble? Don’t do anything impetuous.”
“I call it spontaneity.” Giving up on her appearance, she turned her attention to her stuffed suitcase and cringed. She would only be gone for seven days, but she seemed to have packed too much. Yet, she couldn’t come back here, not to the apartment she shared with Travis. Would he move? Or would he expect her to? They hadn’t gotten that far. She blew out a long breath, refusing to think about the future for the moment.
“I hope this is the right decision.” Tina had lost some of the tightness in her jaw.
“No worries. I’ll be back next week and you’ll see. Things will be better.” Jax’s vision blurred and she blinked back the tears. Even knowing this was for the best, she had a heart, but she’d shed enough tears last night as she drowned herself in ice cream. She’d learned that sometimes the only thing a woman could do when the end came was to let go. Travis no longer wanted in their relationship. He wanted freedom. So be it.
“Are you okay?” Tina asked softly.
Plastering on a smile, Jax would trudge forward. “Really, I’m fine. I’ve been in a rut for far too long and I’m eager to start brand new.” Her words sounded a lot more eager than she felt inside. She’d never been one to miss an opportunity to try something new, so she’d just have to view this as another challenge.
“So what are your plans?”
“I told you, I’m heading to Nirvana. I hear it’s a place for peace, spirituality, and connecting with the earth. Right up my alley.” There weren’t many places that Jax didn’t want to explore. Since she turned seven, she’d known that she wanted to travel and see the world. The following year, her parents bought her a disposable camera and her fate was sealed. The camera had become her best friend. While other kids were playing sports, Jax was entering photography contests. By the time she’d reached high school graduation, she’d decided that she would hold off on attending college, against her parents’ better judgment, and she took off on a month long trip through Europe using the savings from the contests she’d won for her work.
During her trip, she’d visited a village rich in history, known for its colorful buildings along cliffs overlooking the sea. She’d never been to a more romantic setting. Not sure if fate had played a hand, but she’d found herself in the right place at the worst possible time. A passenger train derailed, killing six people. She’d been the only one who’d gotten pictures of the catastrophe that later landed on all of the international news programs. A newsmagazine bought her photos and one of them landed on front cover. She knew she wanted to get the shots that would change the way people think, but being where the action was meant growing a thicker skin. Traveling to exotic locations for the best shots didn’t always include luxury and glamour. Sometimes her eyes were opened wide. Travis never appreciated her work, at least not to its fullest. He’d often criticized her desire to travel to remote, dangerous locations, even telling her once, “You travel to run away.” How could she have believed they could have had a life together?
“Does Travis know you’re leaving?” Tina asked.
Jax shrugged. “I think under the circumstances it doesn’t matter.”
“Stay here. We’ll face the most romantic day of the year together and go single. My parents are having a glamorous party and we can get all dressed up.”
“I thought you invited Billy to go with you for the Valentine’s Day party?”
“I’d much rather have you as a date.”
“Billy likes you. Go with him and enjoy yourself.” Her gaze drifted to the Valentine themed wedding invitation hanging on the dresser mirror. “I’ve always heard getting married on Valentine’s Day is bad luck. Travis thought it was romantic.” She took down the invitation and tossed it into the trashcan. “Anyway, Travis is free to do whatever he wants. I paid for this honeymoon and I’m going to enjoy it!” She stiffened her spine and reminded herself that she was a strong, independent woman, capable of moving forward without a man who wasn’t the one for her. “I’m glad we only invited a handful of guests.”
“I’ll be sure to call them all today and let them know the wedding is canceled. Have you told your parents?”
A nagging feeling erupted inside of her stomach. “I left a message, but I’ve kept my phone turned off.”
“You’ll have to speak to them eventually.”
Jax eyed her friend through the mirror. “I’m in no hurry to hear how I’ve disappointed them.” They’d been ecstatic when Travis asked Jax to marry him. Being that she was the only girl out of their six children, they’d wanted to go all out for her on her wedding day. A big reason why she’d agreed to the extravagant dress, but she’d won on having her ceremony at Nirvana.
“They’ll understand.”
“Yes, in a few years.” Jax attempted to close the lid to her suitcase, but it wasn’t happening. “This could be a problem.”
“I hope you love Nirvana. I know you’ve been looking forward to going there.”
“It’s a beautiful place where I can relax and do what I love. Now come over here and help me zip this thing shut.” Jax slid on top of the lid, pushing the clothes back in that were spilling out through the opening.
Tina’s brows scrunched. “What have you packed?”
“I really don’t know.”
“Okay, I tell you what. You run and take a shower, and let me work this out. Okay?” Her assistant’s smile was full of kindness.
Jax blew out a long breath from the corner of her mouth. She didn’t know what she’d do without the other woman. The two had become best friends. They were nothing alike, but that’s what drew them to each other. Jax was anxious to explore and never hesitated in meeting a challenge. Tina was comfy in her own personal space, cautious in trying new things. “I guess I could use a shower.”
“You are a bit…well—” Tina rolled her gaze over Jax. “—ripe. What exactly have you been doing since Travis left?”
“I’ve been
catching up on all of the empty calories I gave up for Vera Wang. I no longer have to fit into that dress, but, oh, how beautiful it is.”
“Feel better?”
She gave her head a quick shake. “No, I’m bloated.”
“Then run along. Take a nice long soak in a hot bath. Let me worry about this mess.” Tina waved a hand over the suitcase.
Jax slid off the case. “My plane leaves in two hours. If I take a bath I’ll miss my check-in.”
“Then take a quick shower and be sure to clean the chocolate off your face.”
“I have chocolate on my face?” She swiped a hand across her mouth. It wasn’t as if she’d cared much about her appearance during the past day.
Tina took Jax by the shoulders and gently nudged her toward the adjoining bathroom. “Go. Scoot. Wash.”
She closed the door and stared at her reflection in the vanity mirror. Yup, there was the smudge of chocolate. She cringed.
Maybe Tina was right. Was Jax in delayed shock? Would she wake up one morning feeling as if her world was crumbling? She wasn’t one to crumble. Growing up with five brothers she’d learned early in life how to be tough and hold her own when necessary.
Undressing, the beaded necklace jingled. She touched the cool beads and smiled. She couldn’t forget how the Guru had said that she’d find true love.
Jax had never considered herself a religious person, but there was something about the rosary that reminded her of the peace and tranquility she’d met among the locals at the secluded retreat. While visiting the Ashram, she’d been fascinated with the self-discipline of the guests. The first morning she was awakened at five AM, an everyday occurrence for the visitors, by devotional music pouring from the loud speakers situated at every corner of the private twelve acre location in the middle of lush foothills. In the center of the property stood the temple where not only did they offer devotion, prayer, and yoga, but also workshops to improve one’s character and inner peace. And just like any guest, temporary or long-term, she’d been given a list of chores. As she stood wiping down the window in the thatched house she shared with other guests, she’d watched the thick fog gradually lifting from the flower and vegetable gardens. Two local women were working efficiently, one pulling weeds and the other gathering carrots and turnips in the wicker basket she’d braced on one broad hip. The sun shone down upon the land and a peaceful sensation had washed over and through Jax. Here she was, far from home, out of her comfort zone, and yet she felt more in touch with herself than she had in a long time. The humble surroundings brought Jax back to reality.
Kissed, Spurred, & Valentined (Cowboys of Nirvana Book 4) Page 1