by Penelope Sky
“I can get my own girl, asshole.”
“If not her, then pick whoever you want. Prove to me this woman doesn’t mean anything to you.”
“Why do you care, Carter?” Whether I liked the woman or not, it shouldn’t matter to him. We were friends and we were family. But my personal life shouldn’t be that interesting to him.
“I care because I don’t want you to lie to yourself. And you do that a lot.”
I hated to be overanalyzed, especially when the other person was right. “I’m not, Carter.”
He snapped his fingers again. “Then Cassandra is yours for the night. And Berenice is mine.”
* * *
Carter and I were close in age, so we’d always gotten along more like brothers than cousins. Our fathers weren’t just brothers, but best friends. I saw him every weekend, and we were inseparable for most of our childhood.
So picking up women together was pretty normal.
Cassandra was a stripper at a downtown club, and she told me about life working in bars. Her hands were usually on my body, and she snuck a kiss or two. She eventually scooted onto my lap.
Carter was lost in Berenice, his finger hooked into her thong at her hip. She ground against him as they kissed on the leather sofa.
I wanted to prove Carter wrong, but I realized it wasn’t so simple.
I wasn’t into this at all.
Right now, I should have a hard-on. A gorgeous woman was sitting on my lap, and the second I asked if she wanted to get out of there, she would say yes.
She was beautiful, sexy, and experienced. She’d do anything I asked. If I snapped my fingers, she’d be on her knees sucking me off.
But anytime I pictured the fantasy, Muse was the one on her knees.
She was the only one I wanted.
I wanted to prove a point, but it seemed childish to sleep with this woman when I didn’t even want to.
But I didn’t want Carter to be right.
And I certainly didn’t want to be wrong.
The sexiest woman in the world was waiting at home for me. She turned to me for strength and for protection. She kissed me like I was the only man she cared about. I was the only man she’d ever been with. Her pussy was untouched—except by me.
Now Cassandra started to kiss my neck and run her hand up my thigh. She was searching for my hard-on through my slacks.
But she wouldn’t find it.
My lack of arousal had nothing to do with this woman’s charms. The guilt was overwhelming. I felt like I was doing something wrong even though I wasn’t. Muse was waiting at home for me, still afraid of that nightmare she had. Until I was by her side, she wouldn’t truly feel safe from Knuckles.
And I was in a club, pretending to enjoy myself.
I couldn’t do this, not even to save face. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I just remembered I have to be somewhere.” I gently pushed her off my lap and rose to a stand.
Carter pulled his tongue out of the other woman’s mouth to give me a grin. “Looks like I proved my point.”
“I really do have to be somewhere.”
“I know,” he said smugly. “And we both know where.”
I walked out of the club and got into my car in the garage. Carter and I had talked about a few things, but nothing that really interested me. I didn’t even have the opportunity to ask about Knuckles because we were too busy talking about Muse.
I gripped the steering wheel on the drive home. My knuckles were turning white as the anger throbbed in the vein in my neck. Instead of spending the evening enjoying booze, cigars, and women, I was too busy feeling guilty. Sitting in that club was the last place I wanted to be. I wanted to go home, to be with the woman who was waiting for me.
How the fuck did I get here?
It was pathetic.
She wasn’t supposed to mean anything to me. I wasn’t supposed to like her. I wasn’t supposed to take the day off to cheer her up. I should be sinking between a woman’s legs right now—preferably two.
But I was on my way back to Muse.
I’d never felt like such a pussy.
Forty minutes later, I pulled into the roundabout and left my keys on the dash. I walked inside my three-story mansion and was greeted by Dante. He gave me a slight nod before he went outside to take care of the car.
My suit needed to be dry cleaned now that it smelled like booze, cigars, and a woman’s perfume. I stripped off the jacket and loosened the tie on my way to my bedroom. I passed Muse’s on the way then stepped into the privacy of my room. I threw my jacket on the couch then yanked the tie from my collar. I tossed that aside too, knowing Dante would find it in the morning.
“How was your night?”
I recognized her voice immediately, the sultry depth that filled my fantasies. It was soothing all the way down my spine, gliding across my skin and making all the muscles in my body tense. A beautiful woman had been sitting on my lap all night, and my cock never sprang into action. But the second I heard her voice, my slacks tightened. She had an unbelievable power over me. All she had to do was speak and I wanted her.
How did this happen?
I couldn’t enjoy a night out the way I used to. I couldn’t get lost in passionate sex with a woman I wouldn’t remember the next day. The only woman on my mind was the one standing behind me. Ever since she walked into my life, my world had been turned upside down. I paid a fortune just to protect her, and now I was chasing away her nightmares like a damn teddy bear.
How did I get here?
“Everything alright?”
I turned around when I finally had the strength to face her. I was hard in my slacks, and the second my eyes settled on her, my cock thickened even more. There was no piece of lingerie that could compete with one of my t-shirts. Seeing it loose around her body as it stretched to her knees was the biggest turn-on in the world. I’d never been so aroused by a woman, never wanted to plow a woman so deeply into my mattress before. Her long hair trailed down her shoulders, and she wore a sleepy expression as she looked at me. Without a drop of makeup, her face was completely natural.
She didn’t even need makeup.
That was how beautiful this woman was.
I hated my weakness for her. I hated the way she chased away my anger with just a simple expression.
It made me angrier. “It’s fine.” I wasn’t in the mood to talk. Now I was in the mood to lay her at the foot of my bed and give it to her deep and good.
She crossed the distance between us, leaving the doorway and approaching me near the couch. Her small feet tapped lightly against the rug. Her hands reached me first, touching my opened shirt. She rose on her tiptoes to move into me, clearly missing me since the second I was gone.
Fuck. Me.
My hand moved into the back of her hair, and I kissed her, kissed her the way I’d never kissed anyone else. I sucked her bottom lip then gave her my tongue right in the beginning. Her perfume surrounded me, and I couldn’t wait until that smell was mixed with the scent of sex. My hand moved underneath the t-shirt, and I felt her soft skin, moving up her waistline until I cupped one of her firm tits.
Perfect.
She was so fucking perfect.
I didn’t want to wait until I made it into the bedroom. The couch would do just fine. I guided her backward as I loosened my slacks and pushed them down along with my boxers.
She shoved my shirt off my shoulders then lay back, her eyes glowing with anticipation. This inexperienced woman had been terrified of me once before, but now she yearned for sex the way I did. She couldn’t get enough of it—couldn’t get enough of me. She lifted her legs and pressed her feet against my chest.
I pulled her thong down her legs then tossed it aside. My cock was raging, and I was anxious. I’d been out all night trying to chase something I didn’t even want. What I wanted was right here underneath me.
I moved between her legs and felt my warm cock slide through her wet folds.
She’d wanted me long before
I walked through the door.
I held myself over her then pinned one of her legs to the back of the couch. My breathing picked up in excitement. I’d been balls deep in that pussy before, but every time felt like the first time.
Her hands glided up my chest, but then they stopped abruptly. The desire in her eyes immediately disappeared, and a look of pain stretched across her face. That didn’t last long either before she looked angrier than I’d ever seen her. “Asshole.” Without warning, she slapped her palm across my face as hard as she could.
I turned my face slightly with the hit, feeling the redness and sting instantaneously. She hit me hard enough to leave a handprint, I was certain. The action didn’t hurt, but the surprise caught me off guard.
She shoved me in the chest, but I didn’t move because I was too heavy. She shoved me again then gave up and slipped out from underneath me. “Your little whores weren’t enough for you? Then you come home to me and want more? Without even a shower first? You’re a real piece of shit, Conway.”
I got off the couch, my cock still hard because I found her just as arousing when she was angry as when she was happy. “Muse—”
“Don’t call me that,” she hissed. “You’re covered with lipstick marks, you smell like a woman, and you taste like booze.”
I hadn’t considered the places where Cassandra had kissed me. I’d been too busy thinking about Muse even to notice. I could have wiped myself off with a tissue or sprayed on more cologne, but I hadn’t been thinking.
She shook her head, her eyes narrowed in disappointment. “I’ve been waiting around for you all night. You hold me, kiss me, and you spend all day with me. For a moment, it seems like you actually care about me. But then you lie to me and go chase tail when I’m right here. I don’t understand you, Conway. How can you tell me I’m the most desirable woman in the world but then want someone else?”
I didn’t want anyone else. The terrifying truth was becoming more apparent with every passing day.
The disappointment in her eyes was heavy, like she’d never hated me more.
All I had to do was correct her, but I couldn’t. I refused to give this woman anything. I refused to let her think I was faithful to her. If I did…then what would that mean? Where would that lead us? She meant nothing to me, and I had to keep it that way. I was pissed off that I even wanted to tell her the truth.
I didn’t owe her anything.
It needed to stay that way.
“You are just a commodity I paid for, Muse,” I said coldly. “You don’t mean a damn thing to me, and you never will. I will go out and fuck as many women as I want, and you’ll accept that. You’ll spread your legs when I get home and fuck me like always. That’s what I paid for—and you’ll deliver.”
A frigid look stretched over her face. She’d never stared at me that way before. She wasn’t just angry, but disappointed. If she’d had any power, she would have used it against me right then. If she were strong, she’d beat her fists against my chest. She wanted to destroy me in that moment, but knew she had no weapon that could defeat me. She was weak and at my mercy. All she could do was take it. “Be careful what you wish for.”
7
Sapphire
Conway was an enigma.
How could he take time off work to teach me to ride Carbine if he didn’t care about me? How could he sleep with me and chase away my nightmares if I meant nothing to him? How could he kiss me but not anyone else?
Maybe I gave him too much credit.
Maybe he’d been right from the beginning.
He wasn’t evil, but he wasn’t good either.
I knew I wasn’t just upset about his promiscuity. I was upset that I didn’t mean more to him. Living with him every single day forced me to enjoy his company. I enjoyed watching his concentration as he worked, and I enjoyed talking with him over dinner. I even enjoyed the sex. Last time he was in my bed, I asked him to make love to me—and he did. I wasn’t even sure why I asked that. I wasn’t sure why his presence chased away my fear.
But it did.
And knowing he wanted to be with some other woman after the connection we created hurt.
It hurt a lot.
But I wasn’t going to let him hurt me anymore. There wasn’t much I could do about my current situation. I was stuck there for the indefinite future. But I needed to lock away my vulnerability and never let him hurt me again. If he wanted to be with other women, then he couldn’t have all of me.
Not anymore.
I was afraid I would catch something, but there wasn’t much I could do about that either. I just hoped he wore a condom. He didn’t seem like an idiot who wouldn’t.
I didn’t sleep that night and went to the stables in the morning. Marco was there, and he talked to me about the horses and work that needed to be done. He never mentioned my personal relationship with Conway, probably because he knew the subject was off-limits.
But that was refreshing.
I worked harder than usual to burn off my angry energy. I cleaned all the stalls, moved the hay, and groomed the horses before I worked in the barn. It was a sweltering day in the heat, and the back of my shirt was soaked with sweat. But the intense conditions didn’t bother me.
I showered at the end of the day and changed my clothes before I took a packed dinner back to the stables and ate in the grass near Carbine’s pen. The stars were bright up above because we were in the countryside. The closest house was over a mile away, so there were no lights to obstruct the view.
I ate my dinner then lay back in the grass so I could stare at the sky. It was still warm even though the sun had been gone for hours. The grass was soft, and I could hear Carbine release a snort here and there. He eventually walked toward me and stuck his head over the rail to look at me.
My gaze shifted to his snout. “Looks like you’re finally warming up to me.”
Hot breath reached my face.
“I’d give you something to eat, but I already ate everything.”
He released a quiet neigh.
Sometimes, it seemed like the horse really understood what I was saying. I shifted my gaze back to the stars and wondered about my life. Just months ago, everything was normal. I was a student working in a bar. I focused on my studies then went out with friends on the weekends. I was grateful I had my mother’s house because I couldn’t afford rent in the city. But then Nathan got lost in booze and gambling and made the gravest mistake of his life—something that ruined my life.
Now I was on the other side of the world, living a completely different life.
Thankfully, Italy was beautiful. Otherwise, this would be a completely different experience. And if Conway weren’t such a beautiful man, my situation would be different too.
My eyes grew heavy as I stared at the sky. Slowly, my eyelids started to fall. Under the stars on the soft grass, I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
* * *
“Muse.” His deep and irritated voice woke me from my dreams.
My eyes snapped open, and I looked up into the darkness to see Conway’s silhouette.
“What the hell are you doing out here? You had me worried.”
“I’m surprised,” I answered like a smartass. “I didn’t think assholes worried about anything.” I grabbed the bag Dante packed for me and stood up. I couldn’t see Conway’s face, but I assumed he was glaring at me.
His silence showed his anger.
I started back toward the house.
Conway followed behind me. “I don’t care what you do on the property, but don’t be careless.”
“I’m just as safe out here as I am in the house.”
“Not when I don’t know where you are.” He walked beside me, dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. He stared at me on the walk, his thick arms by his sides.
“Don’t pretend you give a shit about me, Conway. We both know you don’t.” I increased my pace to put distance between us. I got to the house first and went to my bedroom upstairs, doing my best to
avoid him. I didn’t even want to look at his face right now. Anytime I did, I pictured the woman he was with last night. She probably had brown hair and bright eyes. She was probably gorgeous and thrilled she got to sleep with the amazing Conway Barsetti. Smoke practically exploded out of my nostrils.
Maybe I was jealous.
I made it inside my room and pulled off my tight jeans and boots. My plaid shirt was covered with stalks of grass, and I smelled like the outdoors.
My door opened and Conway stepped inside.
“Do I need to teach you how to knock?” I was in my panties and bra, my socks still on my feet. I didn’t look at him as I tossed the dirty clothes into the hamper for Dante to collect in the morning.
“Would you have let me in if I did?”
We both knew the answer to that one. I opened a drawer and pulled out a t-shirt. I wasn’t self-conscious about my body in front of him, not when he’d seen me so many times. But I didn’t want to give him a reason to fuck me tonight. I was still so pissed at him. The idea of those lips on mine made me want to hurl. I didn’t want to kiss his skin, not when some other woman had done the same. I’d never assumed Conway was a saint, but now I viewed him in a whole different light. He didn’t owe me anything, but I still expected something from him. Now I was disappointed in him. I’d thought he was a better man. Guess I was wrong.
He stepped closer to me, his green eyes bright against his tanned skin. He’d shaved that morning, but the shadow of new hair growth was starting to sprinkle his chin. He stopped inches away from me, wearing an expression I’d seen hundreds of times.
He wanted me.
I pulled my shirt over my head and covered my body. I didn’t want that heated stare any longer. I used to feed on it, used to feel beautiful because of it. But now, I felt like one of the many. The second he was finished, I wouldn’t be in his thoughts anymore. I should be grateful he went out of his way to be gentle with me, especially for my first time, but it was hard to feel grateful when I was hurt.
No, I was crushed.