“I know baby. I know.” I squeeze him, comforting his void.
“Mom can I tell you a secret?”
“Yes baby.”
“I’m not mad at dad anymore?”
“Mad? Why were you mad at your dad?”
“Because he left us behind.”
“Baby, you know that’s not his fault.” I gently cup his chin in my palm. “If he was given a choice, he would choose to be here with us.”
He looks out the large kitchen window. “I know. But he still left.” He looks back at me with his eyes shining, “Every day I was mad at him because I wanted him here with us and he wasn’t. But now I’m not mad at him anymore.”
I rest my chin on top of his head, wrapping both arms around him and holding him tight, “That’s great baby. I know he is happy.”
I’ve questioned Jordan and Jocelyn about their dad a couple of times just to let them know I’m here to answer any questions they may have about him. Though I don’t know that much about the accident because I’m too afraid to hear the truth; I’ll try to answer their questions as much as I can. But all they’ve ever asked me is if their dad is watching over us and if I miss him. And my answer is always yes. Some nights I curl in my bed squeezing on my pillow crying, hoping maybe if I wished hard enough he would walk right through the door. I too was mad at him for leaving us. I had hate inside me but knew I couldn’t move on with my life if I held onto that hate. I couldn’t love and raise my kids properly if I never let that hatred go. Max and I were like peas in a pod. We were stuck at the hips so we know each other very well. And I know he would want us to be happy, to move on and live our lives. Letting go of that negative energy helped me take care of my kids. I have great appreciation for every single mother that has raised their kids successfully. It is a very hard job.
We sit together watching cartoons and I’m holding him tight not wanting to let go. But I really do need to cook breakfast. I love the fact our living room and kitchen conjoins making it possible for me to cook and connect with my kids. Jocelyn smells the French toast; she comes downstairs rubbing her eyes and accompanies her brother on the couch. I pour milk into two glasses, place everything on the nook, and call the kids to join me.
“Mom what are we doing today?” Jocelyn stuffs her face.
“Don’t talk with your mouth full baby.” I wrinkle my brows. “We’re going to Uncle Matt and Aunt Victoria’s. They’re cooking crawfish.
“Crawfish.” Jordan and Jocelyn love eating mudbugs.
After breakfast, we go outside to do our daily farm chores. Jordan grabs the water hose and fills all the animals’ water buckets. Jocelyn mixes the food for the chickens, while I check on the baby chicks. The heat lamp blew out, so I go inside the house and grab another bulb. Another thing you must have when living in the country is a four wheeler, especially if you have land. It makes it easier to get around. I walk over to the first red barn, hop onto my brute force, and drive towards the first barn. My kids help me load five bales of hay and they race me to the other red barn.
“Hi Merry Legs.” Jocelyn runs her hand through their mane. “Hi Buttercup.”
We unload the hay then I drive the ATV back to the garage while my kids feed the rest of the animals. Once we’re done, I pour everyone some refreshing good ole sweet iced tea into mason jars. We rock on our porch sipping on ice tea. Mufasa and Mulan lay beside us as we admire the country life. We better start getting ready. If we show up late for this thing, Victoria will be blowing up my phone hunting us down. Everyone jumps in their own showers and freshen up.
After I shower, I drop the towel on the ground and stare at myself in the oval mirror. Not to brag but I’m impressed. Having two kids did not put a strain on my body. With me weighing a hundred five pounds and since I’m only five feet four inches tall, I sometimes still have to shop in the juniors department. It saves me money. I wasn’t blessed with beautiful natural voluptuous breast, so I paid a pretty penny to get mine enhanced. I lather my caramel smooth skin with my perfumed lotion. What am I going to wear? When I’m not working, I hate fixing myself up, so I just slip into a pair of denim shorts, tank top, and flip flops. Pulling my vanity leather chair, I sit and turn the fluorescent magnified mirror on. I braid my long brown mocha wavy locks into a fishbone letting some strands loose and then I apply light make-up. I’ve never had any blemishes growing up so I guess you can say I’ve haven’t really went through my pimply stage. I line my almond shaped hazel colored eyes with black eyeliner and brush my mascara on my butterfly lashes. Puckering my natural full luscious pale pink lips I apply lip gloss. I glance in the mirror. I have such a itty bitty curvy butt. Well I guess it blends in with my slender waist. I probably should start doing some lunges or squats to pucker up my cheeks a little. Ok I’m satisfied with the results. People have complimented me numerous times by saying I don’t look my age and they thought my kids are my siblings. Even though I’m thirty years old, I still get carded when I buy alcohol which I’m not complaining too much about. I want to be able to pull the young card as long as I can.
When we get to the Bean’s house, I grab the big ice chest from the bed of my truck. The ice cooler I know Victoria will not use. Jordan and Jocelyn run to the backyard and congregate with the other kids.
Victoria and Matt rushes to greet me, and Matt takes the ice chest from my hands. Victoria locks her arms around mine pulling me to their back yard. Here we go. Let the dating game begin. Wait. Can I have a beer first? She isn’t even going to give me a chance to warm up and get situated. She just dives right in and introduces me to Calvin.
“Calvin I want to introduce you to my friend Jacquelyn. Jacquelyn this is Calvin.” We shake hands and Victoria leaves us to get acquainted. Calvin isn’t so bad looking. He’s the three B’s. Blonde, blue and beautiful. He doesn’t look like the typical southern men in Texas though. He’s probably from California. Calvin has this cocky persona about him like a very rich surfer or something. He seems laid but looks very arrogant.
“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Matt and Victoria have been telling me a lot about you.”
“Oh really. Like what?” I raise my eyebrows worried of what he might say.
“Well they told me you’re thirty years old, have two kids, single, and that you’re beautiful. And I think they’re wrong about you being beautiful.”
I nearly choked on my own spit. “Excuse me.”
“I think you’re beyond beautiful. You’re ravishing.”
Blushing. “Oh thank you.” Good save.
“So what do you do?” Calvin questions while taking a sip of his beer.
“Do?”
“What you do for a living? Where do you work?”
“I own a business.”
“Business in?”
Calvin’s cocky attitude is starting to rub me in the wrong, unpleasant way. “Sales.” I snap then glance over at Victoria.
That’s one of my pet peeves. I hate it when people ask me what I do for a living, especially since we just barely met. It’s none of their business what I do. Ask me something else besides how I make my money. Ask me to tell you a little more about myself. What hobbies do I like to do? Something. I wouldn’t just walk up to someone I just meet and ask them what they do for a living. Like really? That’s such a deal breaker for me. What’s it to him what I do? I can already sense this is going to hit rock bottom.
“I am in sales also. I buy oil rig parts and sell them to big companies.”
“Oh ok.”
“I have a two story condominium in Houston, and I drive a Jaguar. Did you see it parked in Matt’s driveway?”
“No I didn’t.”
“Yes it’s parked in their driveway. I had them move their truck so I can park it there. I wouldn’t want someone who’s passing by to accidentally hit it. She’s my baby.”
What I would do right now just to be able to ram my truck into his precious little car. I’m wondering if this is how all conversations start now days when a man a
nd a woman meet. I dig deep inside me to force a smile. “Oh.”
“When I’m not busy making money, I like to take luxurious trips. I have been all over the world. It’s nice to have money.”
“Oh. I wouldn’t know.” Someone please relieve me from this misery.
“I thought you’re in sales. Is your company not making that much money? You might want to change careers.”
This is one of those moments when I should have given my friends a code action. So when I touch my nose my friends can come excuse me from this idiot. Cocky little bitch is all I want to tell him. I keep reminding myself to breath slowly. Inhale. Ok now exhale. Ok inhale again. I really do not want to strangle this man in front of my kids. Why did Matt and Victoria even think I would hit if off well with this guy. He’s a narcissistic douchebag. There is no way I would ever want my kids around this asshole. I kindly tell him I need to check on my kids and I dash away from him. Far away.
Calvin’s cellphone rings. Perfect timing. He excuses himself, “I’ll be right back.”
I purse my lips hoping he wouldn’t come back. Victoria and Cynthia question me on how things are going.
“He’s a fucking asshole. Oh my god. All he kept talking about was him. About where he lives, car he drives, and things he does since he has so much money. I told him I wouldn’t know how it is to have money, and he told me I should change careers since my business isn’t making money like his company.”
“Did you tell him what you do?” Victoria looks at me concerned.
“Hell no! I just told him I have a business in sales.”
“Isn’t that the truth? You are selling those cookies.” Cynthia laughs, “He’s a dud. You should have told him you sell expensive cookies.”
Cynthia is something else. I giggle, “Vic why would you and Matt think me and that dumbass would hit it off? I wanted to wring his neck.”
“He wasn’t like that when I met him. He’s one of Matt’s clients. He was probably trying to impress you.”
“Well I’m not impressed.” What woman would be interested in a man who’s stuck in his own ass?
The hot spicy aroma is making my eyes and noses tingle. I grab two trays; scoop crawfish then call my kids to come eat. I’m going to need a beer after that conversation. I might need two. As I’m grabbing a beer from the ice chest, I get sidetracked from this gorgeous man standing by Rick. He keeps staring at me. I twist the cap from my bottle and take a sip. It’s Jeremiah. But I can’t let my friends know that I already know who he is.
“Hey Cyn. Who’s that man talking to your husband?” I try to whisper in Cynthia’s ear trying not to look so obvious that I was talking about him, but my I have no clue because I’m so dingy best friend turns around to see who I was talking about.
“Oh that’s Jeremiah. He’s another client of Matt’s but I think Rick said he met him through court.”
“Court?”
“Why? Does he fancy your cookie?”
“What the hell?” I can’t even ask a question without my friends thinking I need something stuck in my cookie. “I just asked who he was.” I think my freaky friend likes that word.
He keeps looking my way and he’s licking his lips the way he did in his hotel. Oh my god. He kindly stopped his conversation with Rick and now he’s walking my way. Nervously I take another chug of my beer. I pray he acts like he doesn’t know me, because my friends will be nosy asking me how I know him. Why am I acting like this all of a sudden? He knows what he’s doing to me. He shows me his pearly whites and his dimples connect with his beautiful smile. I can notice his muscular physic through his grey t-shirt and black khaki shorts. I can tell he works out because I do not see an inch of fat anywhere. He licks his lips the way a man does before devouring on a woman’s hidden secret.
As he gets closer to me he has that incredible scent that stays in my memories forever. He has to be wearing a potion because I am just so drawn to his aura. My two matchmaker best friends pace near me eavesdropping. “Hi. My name is Jeremiah. And your name is?” He holds out his hand winking.
So he knows how important discretion is. Thank god.
Just as I’m reaching for his hand, Jordan yells. “Mom I want some more crawfish.”
Jeremiah scoops crawfish out of the ice chest and pours it into Jordan’s tray. I’m kind of touched. No man has ever done anything for my kids since they father passed away. Well except Matt and Rick, but no one else. But then again I’ve never been attracted to any man. Jordan tells Jeremiah thank you, and he continues to chow down on the mudbugs.
“Thank you.” I delightedly smile.
“For what?” Jeremiah queries.
“Giving my son some more crawfish.”
“You’re welcome.” He tilts his head and his pearly whites gleam. “So are you going to tell me your name?” He looks around to see whose watching and makes sure my two best friends who are in a corner whispering hear him asking my name.
Calvin creeps up behind me and lightly touches me at the small of my back, and stretches his hand out to Jeremiah, “Hi. My name is Calvin.”
Stunned, Jeremiah shakes Calvin’s hand with a smirk, “Jeremiah.”
“So how do you know Jacquelyn?” I move from Calvin’s grip.
“We just meet.” I can see Jeremiah is starting to get agitated at Calvin. “How do you know her?”
“Matt and Victoria have been trying to set us up.”
“Is that so?” Jeremiah looks at me expecting me to say something.
“Yes it is. So if you don’t mind, please let she and I get acquainted.”
“Let’s ask her who she wants to get acquainted with?”
Both men stare waiting for an answer. Calvin is a straight dick head. I do not want to get to know him anymore than I already have. And even though both men are sexy, Jeremiah is sexier, and he’s actually easy to talk to. Well kind of easy to talk to. When he’s around me, I forget how to talk, but he’s a sweeter man than Calvin. My best friends always know how to save the day. Victoria and Cynthia walked up to us asking Calvin to follow them which he did.
“So you and that guy huh?”
“Don’t start. As I recall, it’s none of your business who I talk to, the same way it’s none of my business who you talk to.”
“Jacquelyn right?” He holds his hand out.
“Yes Jacquelyn.” I stretch out my hand, our chemistry is so electrifying. I press my lips together trying not to show my excitement. Get over myself. I’m acting like a girl in high school. When the boy they have a crush on ask them to a dance or a date. There is something about him that piques my interest client or not. And the fact he did something for my child, that’s a plus for me.
He repeats my name, “Jacquelyn. Huh. That suits you.” He winks, “Have you eaten yet?” Jeremiah grabs two trays and invites me to eat crawfish with him.
“No not yet.”
He empties crawdads in our trays and carries both platters next to Jordan and Jocelyn. The four of us eat together, and Victoria runs over to take a picture. We pose for her showing our happy smiles like this moment is just so norm for us. I eat quietly because I don’t know what to say. How do I start a good conversation? Jocelyn asks me for another drink. Jeremiah walks over to the ice chest, questions which one she wants and he grabs a soda from inside. Cynthia elbows Victoria. Oh I can already see it now. Our Friday lunch will be about today. After we eat, Jordan suggests him and Jeremiah play football, and Jeremiah accepts. Jocelyn demands she plays also.
My friends creep up next to me. “Now isn’t that a beautiful sight?” Cynthia questions.
“He is great with the kids Jac.” Victoria clues me in like I just arrived at the party.
“Yeah he’s ok.” I don’t want to sound so optimistic because I’m too afraid he might be too good to be true. Plus he’s a trick
The kids get tired playing football and they ask Jeremiah for a break. Jordan and Jocelyn follow their friends back into the house. Jeremiah catches his breath as he p
rops his hands over his knees. Looking up at me, he grins then winks. The butterflies in my stomach are giving me goose bumps. No man has ever given me that feeling except my husband Max. Jeremiah approaches Victoria, Cynthia, and I and he politely ask if he can have a moment with me. When he gently touches my arm to guide me away from my friends, my legs get weak. We sit on the benches away from everyone. Thank god. I would have probably fainted.
“You’re kids play football very well, especially Jordan.”
“Oh yeah. He’s a wide receiver. Well he is when the season starts. He’s the MVP in his team.” I try to tuck the loose hair that keeps flying into my mouth behind my ear. After a couple of hopeless tries, Jeremiah reaches over and wraps my floating hair behind her ear. Does love at first sight really happen? Subconsciously I tilt my head against his hand and smile. He stares into my eyes like he can read my soul.
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