Rosa smiled at her father. "Oh no, Papi, por favor… I am weary. Today at choir practice, Sister Bernardina had us singing so long my voice is tired. You sing. Remember los cantos you used to sing to Marguerita and me when we were children?"
Don Felipe grinned at his daughter. "You have most certainly mastered the art of distracting one from his purpose. You know it has been years since I have sung."
"All the more reason to resume, Papi."
Don Felipe looked around the room at his guests as though they, too, should be amazed at what they were hearing. "Tu eres una niña imposible, Rosalinda," her father said with jovial affection. Casey watched everyone smile, even as a sly smile crept up onto Rosa's cheeks.
"I am not an impossible child, Papi. I am a woman now, and the possibilities for me are endless," the young girl retorted, still grinning.
Suddenly Casey found herself clearing her throat. She needed some space for clarity of thinking. "I am terribly sorry, but I must ask if I may be excused." She looked to her hosts with a smile of apology. "I find I am tired, after all…"
Doña Isabela rushed to her and clasped her hand. "Ciertamente, most certainly, Señorita Casey. Do you need assistance to your room?"
"Oh no, thank you, Doña Isabela. I can see myself upstairs."
Both dons rose quickly. "Buenas noches, Señorita O'Reilly," Felipe said, bowing to her formally.
"Mucho gusto, Señorita O'Reilly," Miguel added, clicking his heels in an extremely proper manner before Casey could even respond. "I am very happy to have made your acquaintance and I look forward to the pleasure of seeing you again." He smiled, taking her hand and adding, "When you are feeling better, señorita."
"Yes… well, thank you, Don Miguel. Gracias," Casey nearly stammered as she curtsied slightly to them all.
Rosalinda came up to her quickly. "Gracias, hermana," she said, taking Casey's hand and leading her out of the room while adding, "I think it worked. Don Miguel hardly noticed me at all tonight," she confided with glee.
"Believe me, little sister," Casey whispered the returned endearment. "I want to talk to you about that later, okay?"
"Okay," the young girl mimicked with a smile.
"Buenas noches," Casey called back to everyone as Rosalinda left her in the foyer.
Casey brushed thoughts of Don Miguel's ambiguous advances to get to know her better from her mind. There was something more gnawing at her, and with each step she ascended, it became more persistent. She was really interested in where Luke disappeared to every night. "Personal business"… What was that all about? she wondered. Was he meeting with some woman he couldn't bear to be away from? Was he gambling at one of those saloons by the plaza? Where did that man go?
Juana was sitting in the chair dozing when Casey walked into her bedroom. The light had been lit and the older woman had her arms crossed over her ample chest. Casey tried to be quiet as she closed the door and nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the low voice behind…
"You are retiring early, señorita? Does your head still ache?"
"Yes," she answered, spinning around. "A little."
"Ahh," the woman answered, pushing herself up from the chair. "It must have been a long time since you drank so much vino, eh?"
It took Casey a moment to piece together what Juana meant and then she nodded. It was the convent thing again. Sheesh… she was getting tired of trying to live up to an ex-nun's reputation. "It's been quite a while," she said, and realized it was the truth. She had never been much of a drinker, even when she was younger.
"I will fix you a… how do you call it… a potion? Yes, that is it, a potion for your aches." The woman came up to her and turned her around, beginning to unlace the bodice of the gown. "Tomorrow I will wash this dress and speak with Doña Isabela about what you are to wear to the quinceñera."
Casey spun around. "Oh, no… Doña Isabela has already been more than generous to me. Please don't ask her for anything else."
Juana turned her back to the door and continued unlacing her undergarments. "Ay, la doña is very blessed indeed, and she won't mind sharing. Besides, she would want you to look your best as her houseguest. Juana will take care of you."
Casey sighed, realizing that it was useless to argue with the woman. Staring at the ornate carvings on the door, she asked in a thoughtful voice, "Where do you think Señor Luke goes every night?"
"That I do not know, señorita. Now step out of the skirt."
She did as she was asked and began undoing the tiny hooks at her belly. It would be good to breathe without the tight, corsetlike bodice. "He must be going to see someone, some friends. He goes every night."
"It would appear so," Juana answered, throwing the skirt onto the bed and then opening up the wardrobe.
The woman brought out a fresh cotton nightgown, and Casey added the bodice to the skirt on the bed and walked to the table under the window. She poured some fresh water into the large bowl and then splashed her face over and over, wanting to wash away the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She also wished she could wipe away the annoying thought of Luke being so drawn to someone else that he couldn't wait to leave.
"You don't look so good, señorita," Juana said, interrupting Casey's mental list of physical ills. "I should bring the potion now," the woman added with a worried tone.
Casey stopped splashing and, keeping her head over the bowl, said, "I don't need a potion, Juana. I'll be fine now."
"You are certain, señorita?" The concern in the woman's voice was obvious.
Grabbing a cloth, Casey held it to her face and nodded. She patted her skin and said, "All I need is a good night's sleep."
Juana smiled sadly. "Your heart is heavy."
"No, I'm fine… It… it's the headache. That's all."
Shaking her head, Juana said, "Mi hija, you cannot fool me. I know of these things. I can feel the heaviness of your heart."
She could only stare at the older woman, who was clutching her chest in empathy.
"Really, I'm fine."
The woman's eyes squinted in obvious disbelief. "You ask about Señor Luke… and your heart is heavy. I tell you, he is interested in you… as you are interested in him, but you cannot trust this old woman." She paused, gesturing with her hands in the air, as if to accept Casey's interruption. It didn't come. "Bueno." The woman's voice told of her resignation as she turned toward the bed. "I will allow you to sleep. Maybe your dreams will tell you more." She looked back to Casey with a sincere smile and added, "I pray you feel better in the morning, Señorita Casey."
Casey murmured a slow thank-you as she watched the woman pick up the gown and carry it to the door.
"Buenas noches."
"Buenas noches, Juana… and thank you."
The woman nodded and closed the door after her.
Casey stared at the door for a few moments, realizing she wanted to run after Juana and ask her to come back, to tell her all she knew about her heart and about Luke's interest. Sadly, she couldn't. She was frozen with indecision. Until she found out where Luke went every night, she didn't know what to do about her heart.
Changing into the nightgown, Casey figured she hadn't any right to feel jealousy. She had no rights concerning Luke. As she pulled the soft cotton material over her naked body, she wondered why she cared anyway. She wasn't the jealous type, and she'd always believed that if someone didn't want to be with her, why in the world would she fight to keep a relationship together? Just the idea of someone being around her who would rather be somewhere else was not in the least bit appealing… so why now?
She pulled the pins out of her hair and picked up the antique brush. Turning back to the mirror, she looked at her reflection and tried to be impartial. She wasn't ugly. Her body wasn't too bad. In fact, now that she was back in a time when women were allowed to look like women instead of adolescent boys… she looked pretty darn good. She'd never even known she had an hourglass figure until she began wearing that pink gown with its tight corse
ted bodice.
She was passable.
Suddenly Luke's words seemed to replay in her mind.
You really don't know your self-worth, do you?
She took a deep breath and looked again at herself.
She was better than passable. She was an attractive woman. It was okay to admit that, even if only to herself. Years of being brought up to deny one's self in the cloak of humility came crashing in on her and she actually felt guilty for the admittance.
"Wow…"
The word hung in the room as she stared into her own eyes, wide now with an intense realization. She really had been denying herself. Not that she was model-pretty. She wasn't. She was more real, more natural, more her. She didn't have to measure up to anyone else's standards to admit she had a nice smile, pretty blue eyes, a decently rounded figure. Why was it that fashion designers wanted women to look underdeveloped, like young boys? And she had bought in to it! She had been embarrassed because she'd thought she was twenty pounds overweight and had starved herself to lose ten pounds before she gave up feeling like crap and just accepted that she would never measure up to society's standards. What freedom now to just be herself, however she looked. There were no magazines telling her what needed to be improved, no commercials showing her how inadequate she was compared to models. There was just freedom.
Juana's words came back to her, telling her that Luke was interested. She immediately reached for the oil lamp. Turning down the wick until there was only a slight yellowish glow cast in the room, Casey replaced it on the table and then crawled into bed. She pulled the coverlet up to her shoulders and stared at the wardrobe.
She would simply have to find out where Luke went every night before she could proceed further down this path!
Until she knew if his heart was turned in another direction, she couldn't dwell any more on the thought of him fathering her child. It was a pretty wild shot anyway, but if he was seeing a woman, she certainly couldn't ask him.
Tomorrow night she would slip out of the house through the wardrobe's secret passageway and follow Luke d'Séraphin. It was the only thing she could do. She could take it… if she just knew.
It was the not knowing that would drive her crazy.
The next day she began slowly to develop a plausible reason for another early retirement. Although her body was simply vibrating with anticipation and worry, she tried to appear listless and tired. She even told Luke she didn't feel like practicing. There was no way she was going to be in his arms again until she knew whether another woman was also occupying them during the night. Casey told herself he had every right to see whomever he wished. She had no claim on his affections, for it was her own desire to be in his presence that had brought on this yearning and thus her plan for obtaining his genes.
Some might think it was madness, yet she couldn't seem to help falling in love with a man who had made no overtly romantic moves on her, at least none that couldn't be explained away by a dance of passion… and yet that dance was going way beyond the courtyard for her. It was taking her way out there… into the future. Before she continued on that trip, she had a few things to clear up. Primary was her need to know what drew him away in the night.
She had to remind herself that it was vampires who couldn't be seen during the day, and then almost giggled at the crazy notion. Her laughter ceased as a thought crossed her mind. He was away a lot during the night, though. She had to shake herself as fear raced through her body.
Luke as anything evil?
No. That thought was merely her fears again, projecting her away from her objective. She wasn't afraid of Luke. She was afraid of her heart, and whether it could stand the disappointment should she follow him tonight and see him in another woman's arms. No matter what the outcome, she had to know…
That evening, she excused herself from the table early and everyone seemed to understand as she apologized and left the room. Everyone except Luke. He appeared concerned, yet puzzled. Casey didn't even look at him. She didn't want to give him an opportunity to read her again. Not tonight.
Once back in her room, she quickly changed into the black skirt and grabbed the black shawl she had borrowed from Rosa. She stood in front of the mirror and wrapped the material around her head, throwing the end over her shoulder as she had seen the other women do. She quickly pulled the edges of the top down to cover her blonde hair and rearranged the sides to hide most of her face. It was the best she could do. She had to hurry and get out of this house to be waiting by the front gate when Luke left, something he could be doing right now.
She had already informed Juana that she wanted to be alone tonight, and although the woman had looked at her suspiciously, she had nodded her acceptance. As an added precaution, Casey hurried to the bed and turned the long pillows sideways and covered them with the blanket. Sheesh, she hadn't done this since she was a teenager, sneaking out of the house with Amy to go into Philadelphia to a dance club by the river.
Casey refused to think about it anymore. If she did, she would lose her nerve. Right now being young seemed more reasonable than being a so-called adult. She blew out the flame in the lamp and walked over to the wardrobe.
Opening the heavy door, she cringed at the slight sound, sure that Juana or someone else was standing in the hallway and could hear her. Letting out her breath, she pushed aside her borrowed clothes and entered the huge wardrobe. In the dark, her fingers felt the back and sides of it until she touched a small notch in the wood. As she pressed it, it released and slipped a tiny bit to the right. Using both hands, she pushed harder and the back of the wardrobe seemed to disappear into the side wall. Taking a gulp of fresh air, Casey closed the front wardrobe door after her, rearranged her clothes, and then stepped into the concealed passageway. She then pushed on the wall to her right again and the panel slipped back. Not wanting to search for it when she returned, she didn't press on it to latch it. Better to risk being caught then to be stuck in a damn wall until morning.
She might be acting like a teenager, but she wasn't without some common sense!
Right…
Walking through a wall in the pitch black, feeling the rough adobe as she made her way blindly down a secret passageway, was sensible? She simply had to somehow get back to Amy and tell her all this. It was such a wild ride, somebody had to hear it!
That's it, she told herself. Think of Amy. Do not think about this closed space that seemed even smaller without Rosa's guidance. Just keep moving. There was no turning back now. If she got through this, the worst was over. Everything else would be a piece of cake.
Well, she might have a tough time if she saw Luke in a woman's arms, but she'd prepared herself and she had to know the truth. She would accept it and wish him happiness.
Of course, she wasn't about to admit that she wanted his happiness to coincide with her own, but it was enough to know she was ready to face whatever awaited her. She might be disappointed, but she wouldn't be destroyed.
It wasn't like she was in love with him.
She was just falling in love with him. It hadn't happened yet.
Had it?
She suddenly felt so claustrophobic that she hurried down the passageway like a sand crab, sideways and frantic. When her hand felt the outside door, she almost cried out her relief. Biting her tongue, Casey searched the frame around it for a depression, anything to release the door and set her free.
Something inside of her said to calm down, that in her frantic searching she would never find it. She needed to take a deep breath and yet it felt like all her breaths were on the other side of that door, fresh and clear and—
There it was again. Fear. She recognized it and remembered Luke said it was a heavy frequency. Okay, she needed some peace now, some calm, or she might lose it, and she was so close now and—
Stopping her desperate thoughts, Casey inhaled the stale air and slowly began moving her hand over the frame again… this time methodically feeling each inch of the wood. There! There was the depress
ion. Relief swept through her as she pushed on it with all her might and the door clicked open. She almost stumbled out into the night air and gulped in huge breaths as she tore the shawl away from her face.
Her heart pounding, she bent over slightly to fill her lungs more fully. After several deep breaths, she leaned against the wall and tried to get her bearings. The heavy limbs of the tree hid her and she thought it was fortunate the courtyard had not been used for supper tonight. Ever since Don Miguel had arrived, they'd been eating the evening meal more formally. Briefly grateful for the man's influence this night and how it served her, Casey turned around and closed the door to the passageway. She readjusted the shawl over her head and pulled it closer as she left the safety of the house and approached the garden. If she could keep to the shrubs, she would be at the back gate in less than a minute. No one was outside, and Casey hoped all were still busy serving the meal. She had very little time before Luke excused himself, if he hadn't already. Her last thought made her risk it all as she ran for the wall. The last time she had done this, she'd been with Rosalinda, and even the girl had hesitated to walk around this town without a chaperone. Well, she wasn't about to let anyone else mess with her, especially not until she found out the information that could change her life. She was a woman on a mission now. Somehow, she knew, nothing in her life would ever again be the same.
Lifting the heavy wooden latch, she opened the back gate very slowly and slipped out of the walled property. Casey closed it and was grateful it stayed closed without locking.
She ran around the property and hid at the corner, slipping into the shadows with a good view of the front gate. From her vantage point, she wouldn't be able to miss Luke when he left the house. If she could keep to the shadows, she should be able to follow him without being detected. For once, she was glad there were no streetlights. Suddenly her attention was drawn to two men, one of them Luke, walking down the road. She pressed her body against a large old tree trunk, wanting to blend into the bark, to disappear and just watch.
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