"While she was under eighteen," Milo went on, "our parents still had some say over her. They'd bawl her out blue murder when they found bite marks on her neck, her arms, her thighs. And she got it - you know? She knew they were right and she knew she was doing herself harm and she did - she did - try to control herself. But she loved it. And when she hit eighteen, she went off the deep end. Couldn't control herself. A proper addict, you know?" He took a long pause, the sadness hitting him in a tide of memory. "We all spoke to her. We all tried. But I think we all knew how it was going to end. Like you said; in a gutter." He stirred in his seat. "At least they bled her dry. Didn't leave her like your Layla. And she died happy. Doing what she loved."
He was silent a long while and so I spoke. "Did they find the vampire who killed her?"
Milo nodded. "Oh, yes. Lawkeepers got him. He tried to plead willing donor but, for all her track-marks, she only had one fresh bite." He swallowed. "They thought maybe she'd been trying to get clean. This was a relapse. Anyway; one bite, one vamp, he made the choice to drain her."
"And?"
He looked at me. "He saw the sun rise." The slang term for executing a vampire. "Do you find that barbaric?"
I shook my head. "I find that justice. Nobody drains by accident."
He seemed to accept this. "When the Lawkeepers came to tell us, I remember one - he seemed about twelve feet tall to me at the time - just taking my mother aside. I don't know what he said to her, but on the worst day of her life, he seemed to make things... He let her know that whoever had done it wouldn't get away with it. This was in the days before bio-enhancement, mind you, they were tough men back then."
"I think you'd be pretty tough even without your enhancements."
He half-smiled. "Still pretty glad to have them."
"I'm sorry."
"For what."
"Your sister."
Milo shook his head. "I don't blame all vampires for the actions of one. I used to. But not anymore. Funny, really, I joined the Lawkeepers to keep them in line, to prevent what happened to my sister and my family from happening to anyone ever again. But being a Lawkeeeper taught me that vamps had as much to fear from us. When I see humans ganging up on a vampire, knowing they can't fight back for fear of reprisals, then it makes me sick. I've seen what a cruel human can do to a vampire using just the sun and a magnifying glass. And I've seen what a vampire will do to a human, too. No such thing as a bad species; only bad individuals."
It occurred to me that there were more reasons than one that I liked Milo and his friends. "That's a very broad-minded point of view."
Milo looked at the ground guiltily. "I'm not pretending to be any better than I am. There are times when I see a girl of Kerry's age going down an alleyway with a vamp - a willing donor - and I want to stop it. I don't trust the vampire one inch. Prejudice like that dies hard. And I feel..." I heard a catch in his voice. "I feel like if I let that die then it's a betrayal of Kerry's memory."
I could see the weight of effort it had taken for him to tell me this. It was true, every word of it, of that I was in no doubt. No one could have faked that. Was he telling me so as to get my sympathy? I didn't think so. Not because I necessarily trusted him, but because I didn't think he would use that memory as a weapon or as a tool of any sort. He wouldn't do that to his sister. Maybe he was trying to get closer to me, but I couldn't think it was for any malign purpose.
I didn't feel any need to respond - like I owed him something. I wanted to speak because I had wanted to for the longest time, and only lacked someone to speak to.
"It was my fault."
Milo said nothing, but I could almost feel him listening.
"I pushed her towards him. Towards Gray. I thought he would do her good. That she should try dating someone with a bit more edge. She was always ending up with willowy romantic types who got one taste of what it's actually like to be with a vamp and ran off leaving her heartbroken. Gray was tougher, he'd been with a vamp before, he knew the score. I just thought... I just didn't want her to be moping about the place anymore! I wanted her to get out there. Be a vampire, goddamn it. Fifty years and she still hated what she was. Like a permanent rebuke at me - I did this to her. I didn't think Gray would have made her happy, but at least he got her out and she could have gotten good and laid and maybe that guilt wouldn't be on me for five minutes. Maybe I wouldn't have to deal with those accusing eyes staring at me. Blaming me."
"Did she say any of this?" Milo asked quietly.
"No. She would never say that sort of thing."
"She loves you too much."
I burst into tears. I've never done that before. I mean, I've cried before, but never like that; zero to bawling in no seconds flat. And never in front of another person. Now, it wouldn't damn well stop.
"It's my fault."
"It really doesn't sound like it is."
"What the hell would you know about it?"
"Just what you're telling me."
"I pushed her towards him."
"She's a grown woman who makes her own decisions."
"I just wanted her out of the house."
"That doesn't sound like you at all. That sounds like something you've made up after the event so you can be guilty about it."
"I should have gone to meet her at Lawkeeper Central, not gone to Gray's apartment."
"Well, now you're changing tack. At least make up your mind why it's your fault."
"Why are you being like this!" I practically screamed.
Milo took me by the shoulders and held me still. "You're only blaming yourself because you've got no one else to blame. I've been there. Believe me. I don't think you pushed her towards Gray because you wanted her out of the apartment. Nor do I think she blamed you for her life as a vampire. I think she loved you very much, which is harder, because you blame yourself."
He leaned in, and gently kissed the tears from my hot cheeks.
"I should have gone to Lawkeeper Central," I muttered.
"Well, maybe. But my gut tells me they'd have gotten her anyway. There's more to this. And none of it - none of it - is your fault."
Chapter 14
Above all things, I have always valued strength in men. I'm not the woman who wants someone to sit beside her on the couch and share a box of tissues over a weepy movie. I'm the woman who wants to turn off the movie and get rear-ended on the couch so the guy can go home early. I've always equated physical strength with emotional distance.
Perhaps wrongly.
I knew that Milo could ring my bell as well as any guy I had ever been with, but here he was now, comforting me and kissing away my tears. I felt... I felt like a girl. Something I hadn't felt like for a long time. Part of being a vampire was always being strong, not letting those emotions in, and certainly not letting other people see them.
But perhaps a strong woman is also one who can let others see them at their most vulnerable. And a strong man is one who doesn't abandon a woman in those moments, but is there with her to be her rock, with no ulterior motive.
At three hundred and forty-eight years old, I still had a lot to learn, and I was learning a surprising amount from these guys.
"Sorry," I muttered, as I wiped my eyes.
"What the hell are you sorry for?"
"I'm not this person."
Milo smiled. "I think, for the first time, I might be seeing the person you are."
"Oh fuck, I've wandered into a teen romance movie."
Milo laughed. "I guess you're that girl, too. The one who wouldn't touch soppy romance with an eighteen-foot pole. But that doesn't mean you have to deny your humanity."
"I'm not human."
"That's a very good point. But maybe there's more human left in you than you think."
I kissed him, on the lips.
"What was that for?"
"Being a good guy."
"Now who sounds like a teen romance?"
We laughed and kissed again. Our eyes met, and in Milo's sky blue gaz
e, I saw a depth of feeling I was not sure I had ever seen in a man before. There was more there than a man who wanted me, more even than a man who loved me. This was a man who cared about me, and that was something else again. In my life, even before I was turned, there had never been anyone to look out for me, it had always been me versus the world, and I had gotten used to it being that way. I had gathered other lost souls like Max and Layla to me, so I had others to care for, not wanting them to go through what I had. But now I had Milo, and one look in those eyes told me that here was someone who would not just listen to my woes and kiss away my tears, but someone who would give his life for me without even thinking about it. It was a look that I knew I would see in the eyes of Gage and Kael, too. So much had gone down, we had been on different sides and had every reason not to trust each other, but there are some things you can't fight.
I pushed harder into the kiss, pressing Milo back against the couch. He drew me to him and I went without question, straddling his lap and feeling the comfort of his arms folding around me.
"Milo," I whispered between kisses. I never do shit like that - say people's names - but I suddenly felt a need for reassurance, which he seemed to understand.
"It's okay," he whispered back, and I knew that it was.
I ground my hips against him and felt his brick hard maleness against my core, hot even through my jeans. I'd never known a man like Milo, a man for whom arousal was all or nothing, who went from flaccid disinterest to granite solidity in moments and remained that way with such ease.
Our hands mirrored each other’s as we opened each other’s buttons. Milo pulled my blouse over my head and unclipped my bra as I ran my hands over the rigid contours of his fabulous torso, every inch was honed muscle, hard and unyielding. I dipped my head to run my tongue across his chest as Milo tossed my bra aside. My breasts tumbled free and Milo growled in satisfaction as he filled his hands with boob flesh. While I slicked my tongue across him, I reveled in the feel of his hands on me. He weighed my breasts in his large, strong hands, bounced them and squeezed them, batted them from side to side and squashed them together. He ran questing fingers into the hot little cleft beneath them then tweaked the nipples to hard arousal.
As this delectable treatment continued, I had begun to twist and grind in arousal, working my hot, wet center against the straining lump in his jeans. Now, my hands slid down his sides and along his belt to undo it before starting in on the buttons. Milo lifted up slightly to help me as I gripped the waistbands of his jeans and underwear and yanked both down about his thighs.
His impressive cock sprang free, incredibly thick and hard. I had never really thought about degrees of hardness in men before I met Milo - they were soft, hard or somewhere between. Milo took hardness to another level - he could have gone through walls with that thing. I grabbed it, closing my hand in a firm grip, making Milo gasp at this rough treatment. Clearly he liked it, as he thrust his hips up at me and I beat at his eager length.
I had now straightened up, and this allowed Milo to bury his face in my breasts; lips, tongue and teeth taking over for hands and fingers, tormenting me as he nipped and sucked.
His hands, meanwhile, had found my belt, and it was clear he would not allow my jeans to stand between him and his goal much longer. I was just as eager, but there was no way they were coming off in this position.
I swiveled in my seat, turning away from Milo, his rigid cock now pinned between my back and his belly. Leaning back, I wriggled my hips out of my jeans, then extended my long legs to slide out of them. Dropping them to my side, I twisted back around again and kissed him, then pulled back to look at him.
And saw Milo.
He'd been there all along - of course, he had - but somehow I felt like I was seeing him for the first time. There was a light on his face and a look in his eyes that I...
"Sonja? Are you okay?"
I swallowed past the sudden knot in my throat and nodded. ”The best I've ever been.”
Suddenly desperate to feel him inside me, I wrapped my hand around his cock and guided it between my legs, sighing with pleasure as the swollen head slipped into my slit and I travelled the delicious distance down his shaft, swallowing every inch of him.
I came to rest, grinding myself into him, wanting every last millimeter, feeling his arms about me, holding me tight against him. I looked into his eyes and felt like I'd come home.
I'm a big fan of sex, and I've never denied myself. It can be fun, it can release stress, it can be a damn good workout. But this was more than any of that. This was more than sex. Milo and I were like one.
We began to move together, small movements at first, a heated friction, as if we were afraid of straying too far from each other, needing that closeness.
I pulled him upright against me, my breasts crushed against his chest, my hands locked about his back. His strong arms held me tightly, his hands cupping my ass cheeks, pulling at my hips to work me against him. I clamped my legs to his thighs, wanting to feel every part of him as he moved inside me.
Our lips met and we kissed, rough and raw at first, snapping at each other like animals. I bit along the line of his square jaw, teasing myself with closeness of his jugular, the sweetness of his scent, impressed that he showed not a flicker of fear.
I tugged on his golden hair and dived into his mouth, our tongues meeting in a deep and intense kiss. I felt I was falling into him, all the blackness and bad thoughts, all the ugliness of my existence, swallowed into Milo. He was strong enough to stand it all. He was strong enough to stand me.
I realized that the tears had started again, the intense emotions drawn to the surface. Milo kissed the drops as they fell from my eyes, and pulled me closer still, grinding his powerful hips into me.
"Let it out," he whispered. "Let it all out."
As the darkness swelled within me, I scored his back with my nails, snarling back the intensity of the moment. He met me, matched me, forced me on, and I went with it. Let him fuck away my fears, my sorrows, my self-loathing.
My clit was on fire as it rubbed over and over against the iron bar of his shaft, tormented beyond the point of endurance. I clamped my mouth shut, strained noises fighting their way out from my clenched lips as my Milo took me to heaven, after I had dragged him through hell.
"Ah!" I threw back my head, wrapping my legs about his straining hips and a blinding light seemed to crash through me. This had to be what sunlight felt like - brilliant, beautiful, burning. And then bliss.
For all the sweating, heated intensity of the build, my orgasm was like riding the crest of a wave, so light and airy and wonderful that I felt like laughing.
I kissed Milo firmly on the mouth, thanking him without a word for the orgasm, and for everything else. He licked my lips, stirring his rod inside me.
"You can't still be hard," I laughed.
He shrugged, kissing me again. "If you say not, but I really think I am."
"You're not human."
"Nor are you."
"Yeah, but that's not news. I know vamps who couldn't keep up with you."
He cradled my body in his arms, lifting me up and moving me around to lie flat along the couch with him on top of me. I drew his face down to mine, wanting to kiss him forever.
"You're allowed to come, too, you know?" I whispered.
"I know. But first, I want it to be beautiful."
And it was. He drove his cock into me like a hot knife into warm butter, twisting the shaft so I whimpered with pleasure. His hips were mashed tight against mine and I threw my legs about him once more. I could feel the pulse of his cock and it vibrated rhythmically inside me like the heartbeat I didn't have. Our lips met more tenderly, pecking gently at one another. I slid my hands down his back, feeling the strength, coiled and tense in that beautiful body. I wanted him to unleash it, but instead he kissed me again, softly on the mouth, and began to undulate his hips in a slow, rippling motion. I sighed as waves of prickling sensation danced out from my hot core,
radiating that heat to my every extremity.
"Milo, that's so good," I gasped.
"Excellent."
I slapped my hands down on the hard unyielding rounds of his ass cheeks. He had such control of his amazing body, like a well-honed machine, he could use it to pummel me into submission or to stroke me to heaven.
With each retreat, he came just a little further out of me before forging back in to the hilt, making me moan as his hardness seemed to penetrate me to the guts. Without meaning to, I found my body mimicking his movements, curving and flexing like an eternal wave. Our bodies moved in sinuous harmony, Milo forever driving that long, strong cock in and out of my wet tunnel.
With delicate skill, he played my body, keeping me forever wavering on the crest of fulfillment, a lighted fuse waiting for an explosion that seemed as if it would never come. As my delicious frustration increased, I bit at him, at his face, his neck, his shoulders, the ripped muscles of his chest. I dragged my nails across his back and dug them into the powerful cheeks of his ass. I kicked at the couch and then at him, drumming my heels against his relentlessly pistoning hips.
I walloped his ass cheeks as hard as I thought he could stand, and then a little harder for good measure, punishing him for giving me so much pleasure yet still denying me the ultimate ecstasy. For every painful indignity I lavished upon his strong body, I watched him gasp and groan in pleasure, loving the bite of pain that gives sex its edge. Milo was one of those sadly few men who actually smile during sex, who look as if they're enjoying themselves, and, right now, he had a grin plastered from ear to ear that seemed to broaden each time he buried his aching shaft into me. He was loving this long, slow fuck as much as I was, relishing the pain of frustration as much as me.
But nothing can last for ever - not even Milo. I saw the increasing strain in his happy face and he drove his cock home with more urgency. I clawed at him in response.
"Come on, Milo, take me home."
He gritted his teeth and began to move faster, though continuing with long, deep strokes so his cock was sawing vigorously in and out of my ever-tightening channel. Soon, his hips were cracking against mine, his cock straining with full-blooded hardness as it skewered me over and over.
Her Deadly Harem Page 10