by Ava Mallory
I had to admit that I shared that same worry, regardless of what the weather was doing. An elderly gentleman suffering from the beginning stages of Alzheimer's Disease was vulnerable at best and endangered beyond comprehension.
“I know, but remember, Nubbin is strong. He's a fighter and we both know that he's feisty as all get out, so he has that working in his favor. I just wish I was closer, so I could go look for him myself and...” My voice trailed off as I considered what it is I'd do if I found him, beyond squeezing him until my arms fell off my body. “He'll be fine. He couldn't have gotten far.” I added.
Tina mumbled in frustration. “I should have never left him.”
I swallowed the emotion that swelled in my throat. Tina and her son, Noah, had only recently come to live with me, after leaving Western Nebraska in search of new and better opportunities. Prior to her becoming a nurse, Tina had worked as a nursing assistant at the nursing home that Nubbin ran away from and that we both knew was about the most poorly run facility on the planet. It was like the blind leading the blind over there and Nubbin's latest stunt proved it.
“This isn't your fault, Tina. You know how Nubbin is – something gets under his craw and he won't stop until someone pays attention to him.” I reminded her.
“Or until some unsuspecting traveling nurse shows up, expecting to spend the next three months working in a calm and quiet environment and finds herself wrestling down an angry, old bird and getting mixed up in a murder investigation.” Tina took the opportunity to remind me of where this all began.
I laughed. She was right. I met Nubbin, Tina, and the rest of the nursing home staff at just about the exact moment when my life would change forever. Lucky for me, that change didn't involve serving a life sentence behind bars for a murder I didn't commit, but instead afforded me the chance to spend the rest of my days reminiscing about our unlikely meeting.
“It's like we'd come full circle, except this time we're thousands of miles away and have to rely on second hand information to find out what's going on over there.” I said.
Tina pulled her phone out of her bag. “I need to call someone over there and find out what happened. I think I'll try Kathy and see what she tells me.” Tina suggested as she dialed Kathy's number.
“Good luck. Just try not to mention my name.” I said. Kathy didn't like me. I'd never given her a reason not to like me, other than not letting her walk all over me.
Tina grinned and made the call. “Here goes nothing. She should be glad that we want to help.”
I poured another cup of coffee. I'd lost track of how many I'd had over the last couple of hours. I just couldn't get myself to calm down. For some people, coffee made them jittery. For me, it usually did the exact opposite, but this whole thing with Nubbin had me feeling more anxious than I'd ever felt before. I kept hoping that there was some kind of mix up and that Nubbin was just hiding in a broom closet somewhere, not that he would fit well in one – it'd be a little tight – but stranger things had happened.
Tina didn't get too many words in before Kathy started talking. Kathy was what people would refer to as a dominating personality. She liked to be in control, even though, her idea of control bordered more on bullying and less on being a reputable authority figure.
I could hear her stating her case. I could only imagine what her excuse was. She didn't like Nubbin and he didn't like her. If I didn't believe that nurses should stick together, I'd side on the side of the line that said that she was pleased that her most troublesome patient had fled the building. That would be one less thing to worry about in the short term, but in the long term, meaning if Nubbin didn't return, it would mean countless problems for her both professionally and legally.
Tina hung up the phone after several minutes, wearing her frustration all over her sweet face. “Unbelievable,” she said. “Kathy said that Nubbin's been acting up for days and that she finally had to get an order of Haldol for him before he hurt himself or someone else. I guess, he started giving some new resident a hard time about the way he was bellyaching about being there and Kathy had to separate them before one hauled off and socked the other. After dinner, she had Sarah – you remember her, don't you? Anyway, Sarah was one one one with him to keep him occupied, but her shift ended at ten and the
aide that came in for the midnight shift didn't follow through with the one on one status, so sometime between eleven and two in the morning, Nubbin took off.”
I sighed. “How is that even possible? The unit is locked. No one heard or saw anything?”
“Kathy said she was busy working on the end of the month stuff and had the office door closed. Sarah was helping another patient on the commode, so they missed it.” Tina explained what Kathy had told her.
I shook my head. It still didn't make sense. The Memory Support Unit occupies the back of the facility. That meant Nubbin would have had to figure out a way out of the locked unit doors, walk down a very long hallway, pass the open doorways of two other units and get past the front desk to get out. The front doors would have been locked for several hours by the time eleven o'clock rolled around, let alone still be open at two in the morning.
“That woman is about the sorriest excuse for a...” I started.
“Now, wait, Mercy, we don't know if she actually did anything wrong. You, of all people, should know how difficult Mr. Schmeckpepper could be. We weren't there, so we can't say who is at fault. Let's give Kathy the benefit of the doubt.” Tina urged me.
I had to stifle a laugh. I just loved Nubbin's last name and, hearing her say it brought back memories for me. Nubbin could be about as difficult as his last name. I knew that. I'd seen it and sometimes I probably encouraged it. I hoped that this wasn't what this was all about. Did I somehow encourage him by laughing at his antics and giving him details about all that was going on in my world? I shuddered to think about it. If I was to blame, I'd feel horrible. I should have known better. Someone in Nubbin's situation was vulnerable.
“Mercy, what are you thinking about,” Tina asked, moving in front of me. “This wasn't your fault. How were you supposed to know that Nubbin would take off? We're over a thousand miles away. There's nothing you could have done.”
“You're right. I know you're right, but why does it feel so wrong? I feel so helpless.” I said, staring out the window at my car, wishing I could blink and make it turn into a newer model with a more reliable engine, instead of a twenty plus year old car that was begging to be sent out to pasture. “I need to get to Nebraska.”
Tina inhaled loudly. “What are you planning? You can't drive all the way out there. What about the storm? Remember the last time you were out there? Remember how dangerous it was?”
She was right. I didn't think I'd ever forget what the weather was like when I'd been in Nebraska. Three months in a Western Nebraska winter was no picnic, especially for someone like myself, who was born and raised in California. The drive was treacherous. My nerves were shot and my old Honda wasn't doing much better.
“I don't know what else to do,” I answered. “I can't just sit here and wait. I have to do something.”
Tina grinned. “I get it, but is it worth risking your life to go? Nubbin wouldn't want you to do that. Besides, he probably found his way back by now and all this worrying was for nothing.”
I appreciated what she was trying to do, but I honestly didn't feel like this was going to end well. If the stories of this freak storm were true, that meant he'd be exposed to the elements. He was a strong man, a real man's man, but he was also an elderly gentleman with a host of medical problems. I wasn't naive enough to think that he'd be able to survive for any amount of time without proper food, shelter, and his medications.
“Did Kathy happen to mention if he took anything with him? I mean, what was he wearing? Did he pack a bag? Does he have access to money? I know, generally, they wouldn't have much money on them, if they were allowed to have any at all. How is he getting around?” I had more questions than I'm sure anyone
would have been able to answer, but they needed to be asked. I trusted that Charlie had asked the same questions of staff, but since he was leaning more toward the grumpy side of his personality, I wasn't going to call him back and ask him. Nope. He owed me an apology, as far as I was concerned.
Tina shrugged. “I don't know. She didn't say anything about that kind of stuff. Do you want me to call her back?”
NO! I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't let her have an earful if I asked Tina to call her back.
“That's probably not a good idea right now. You don't want her to get defensive on you. I really think I should make the trip. I survived one storm over there. I should be able to survive another. Besides, in another couple of days, it will be May. You can't tell me that Mother Nature is so cruel that she'd let more snow fall.” I said, not realizing that I'd soon eat those words.
It was Tina's turn to roll her eyes. “Sometimes, you're so California. Anything can happen in the Plains. Snow, rain, tornadoes, you name it, it can happen. I don't mean to tell you what to do, but I really don't think you should try and make this trip, especially with Gertrude.” She warned me, referring to my car. My old Honda's name changed on a daily, sometimes hourly basis, depending on how she ran at any particular moment. Just when I thought she'd be able to last another few months, she would stop running and I'd have to scramble to figure out how to pay for another major repair.
I'm not going to say that I wasn't considering packing a bag and hopping into my car to go to Nebraska, but I may or may not have made a quick mental check of how much money I had in both my checking and savings accounts to pay for repairs. Seeing as those numbers weren't favoring on the side of a spending splurge, I had to do some quick thinking to make a trip east even remotely possible.
“I won't take Gertrude. I'll just rent a car. That will be a lot cheaper and, hopefully, won't require repairs every three hundred miles or so.” I said.
Tina opened her mouth to speak, but stopped suddenly when Noah entered the room. With a shrug and a hug, she said, “Be careful and keep your phone on you at all times.”
I adored Tina on so many levels, but one of the biggest reasons I adored her was because she understood that there would be no way of convincing me to do anything that I didn't want to do and no way to talk me out of doing exactly what I wanted to do, no matter how crazy or treacherous the road would be.
“I will. I promise.” I said, making a mental note to follow through on that promise. I wasn't always very good at keeping my phone anywhere nearby or charged. My cell phone was good for convenience, but horrible all at the same time. As a mature, single woman, I didn't like to be tethered to my phone or any other device, much to the chagrin of my loved ones.
As I turned to walk down the hallway to my bedroom, I heard Tina call behind me. “Just so you know, I'm texting Ruby right now. You might want to let Diana know what you're up to as well, before I let her know.”
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the story of my life. My friends and family remained steadfast by my side, but they also dabbled in tattletaling whenever it was convenient for them.
Tina understood me, but she also understood just how angry everyone would be if she didn't tell them what I was up to. I almost felt sorry for her, except before I could really start to feel anything, my cell phone rang again. Like clockwork, I tell you.
“You're doing what?” Ruby's voice boomed in my ear.
“I'm listening to you get all worked up before you know what's going on.” I answered jokingly. The art of deflection is something I pride myself on, among many other useless attributes I'd acquired over the years.
Ruby huffed into the phone. “Mercedes Mares, tell me what's going on right now.”
Oh, this was going to be one of those kind of conversations. Well, in that case, I'd have to try another approach because Ruby was a lot of things, like kind, generous, loving, but she was also short-tempered (only where I was involved) and feistier than most people I knew, except for me, of course.
“Cool your jets, Ruby. This is important. Nubbin has gone missing,” I explained.
She gasped, long enough for me to settle into a seat, because I knew this conversation, like every other conversation we'd ever had in twenty plus years of friendship, was going to take longer than a minute or two.
“He's gone? How could that happen? Where did he go?” She asked the million dollar question that we were all asking ourselves.
Now, I consider Ruby to be one of the most intelligent women that I'd ever known, but sometimes – only occasionally and almost always when I was filling her in on the sorted details of my life or the lives of our loved ones, she lost all sensibilities. This wasn't necessarily a character flaw, but more about how she processed bad news. She was a thinker, more practical than I was on so many levels.
“That's what I intend to find out. It's what I have to do, otherwise I'll never be able to rest. You know how much Nubbin means to me.” I said.
“Mercedes Mares, you know just as well as I do that your car is never going to survive another trip to the sticks. The least you can do is wait it out and see about getting another car.” Ruby scolded me, like she had countless times before over the years.
I let her say her peace before I told her my solution to that problem. “I'm not going to take my car, Ruby. I'm going to rent one for the trip. See, all the bases are covered.” I said, feeling pretty proud of myself for at least having the wherewithal to use a rental and not chance taking my car halfway across the country again.
Ruby spoke to someone in the background. I felt guilty about interrupting her convention. She'd come through for me too many times over the years and I hated the idea of her having to worry about me now. I was a big girl. I could take care of myself. Nubbin and his health were the more pressing issue. I couldn't get there fast enough, as far as I was concerned.
“Mercy, I have to go. Please, be careful and you call me if you need anything. Do you understand? Don't go all G.I. Jane on this. Call me. Call Hank. Keep Tina informed, and by the way, does Diana know what you're up to?” Ruby asked.
Ugh! I knew she was going to ask me that!
“I'll call her before I head out, I promise.” I said to reassure her.
“You better. Okay, I have to get back to my meeting. Seriously, keep me informed. Please, be careful. Love you lots.” Ruby said, her voice breaking.
“I love you too, Ruby. I love you too.” I said, hanging up.
Tina walked in, holding her tablet in her hand. “I found a reasonably priced car for you to rent that should be really good on gas. Are you sure this is what you want to do? I wish I could go with you, but there's just no way I could ask Nightingale to give me some time off right away.”
I hugged her. “You don't need to apologize to me. You just started a new job and a new life here. I'll be fine. I won't be gone long. I'll just feel a lot better if I'm there. Nubbin needs to see my face and understand that he's taken things way too far this time.”
I could see the fear in Tina's eyes. She loved him just as much as I did. Although we were both putting on a strong front, the fear in the room was palpable. I shuddered to think about what Nubbin could possibly be facing and, at the same time, I was so angry with him for doing something so ridiculously dangerous. What was he thinking? The sad reality was, he probably wasn't thinking at all. The real question was, what had set him off this time. Was it Kathy? Was it this other resident, he supposedly had an issue with recently? Whatever the case, why did it have to come to this?
Tina sighed heavily. “When are you leaving?”
I looked out the window again. “Now. I think I should probably get on the road right away, the sooner the better. Can you give me a ride to the rental facility? I'll call Diana on the way and see if I can get a family discount.” I smiled, knowing full-well that Diana was going to throw a fit as soon as she heard what I was up to this time.
Before I had a chance to call Diana, she was calling me, this time to sc
old me for wanting to make the trek alone.
“Why would you go alone? That's not safe, Mom. You know that.” Diana scolded.
I rolled my eyes as I sat down on the passenger's side of my car. “Honey, if I stay here, I'll go stir crazy, just thinking about all of the things that Nubbin could run into out there alone. He's in danger and I have to do something to help get him back where he needs to be.” I explained.
“This is about guilt, isn't it, Mom? Aren't you the same woman who always told me not to live my life in the past and to always keep my eyes on what's in front of me?”
Oh, why had this child always thrown my words back in my face? Why did Diana have such a great memory? While most people complain that no one ever listened to them, I had the exact opposite problem. People not only listened to every word I said, but they held them against me all the time. All. The. Time.
While she may have been right, I didn't appreciate her tone and how I chose to respond said that. “No, I don't operate on the basis of guilt. Nubbin is a vulnerable human being. He needs someone on his side. You've never been to Nebraska and never worked for the facility, he lives in, so you don't know what his life is like.”