by Ava Mallory
He honked again. This time, leaning on the horn long enough to cause people to step outside.
“All right, you win. For now.” I muttered under my breath as I walked to his car. “Do it for Nubbin. Remember Nubbin.”
“Quit talking to yourself. It makes you look crazy.” Charlie warned. “Crazier than you already are.”
“Did you have to add that? Did that make you feel better, Charles?” I answered just to irritate him.
“Oh, Charles? Well, that's new. It's good to know that cold hasn't completely fried your brain yet.”
This felt too normal, I thought. How did we go from him embarrassing me in front of a room full of concerned citizens to him teasing me like it was a normal day?
I scratched my head. “Do you have a diagnosis I need to be aware of because your mood swings are going to give me whiplash?”
Charlie sighed before bursting out into laughter.
“Do I have a diagnosis? You mean like a psychological diagnosis? Let me get this right, you think I'm crazy?” He laughed again.
“I don't know why you're laughing. Perhaps you forgot that a man is missing?” I said.
Remembering what I'd seen on the television, I said, “If you weren't so busy worrying about me, you'd know that some tabloid show just did a story on Nubbin. They say that he's in California. With the bank robbers!”
The smile on Charlie's face disappeared. “What are you talking about?”
I had him. I knew I was right. “See, I told you. All this focus on me, like I'm some sort of criminal makes you blind to what really matters.”
Charlie pulled the car over to the side of the road, dangerously close to the ditch. I clutched the door handle, remembering the moment my rental car skidded off the road.
“What television show? What makes them think he's in California? That's just ridiculous!” Charlie scoffed at the idea.
Grabbing his radio, he called into dispatch. Barney started to bark at the same time, so I couldn't hear what Charlie had said.
Soon, he pulled the car back onto the road and said, “I'm going to put a stop to this right now. Do me a favor and stay where I put you.”
Now, what was going on?
“What do you mean by stay put? I don't know what the sheriff's responsibilities are here, but where I come from, you catch the bad guys, not harass and bully innocent nurses.”
Charlie laughed again. “Innocent? Let's see, I asked you not to come out here and the next thing I know, you drive off the road and end up having to be rescued by the sleaziest man in all of the county. Then, I tell you to leave well enough alone and I find you smack dab in the middle of this unauthorized search with the local nut jobs.”
Where was this coming from?
“Do you not want to find Nubbin? What are you, some kind of selfish jerk? This isn't about you. And, by the way, I am not required to do as you ask.” I informed him.
“Mercy,” Charlie paused as a snow plow made its way around the car. “You don't get it, do you?”
“Apparently not.” I said, feeling more confused than I did when I first learned that Nubbin had disappeared.
“Nubbin hasn't been kidnapped and I can assure you, he's not in California.”
Chapter Eight
“Hi, Mercy. Nice to meet you.” The blonde woman with the friendly smile, put her hand out for me to shake.
I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was beautiful in an Old Hollywood way, but also very off-putting. Something about her didn't seem right.
“Go on, say hello.” Charlie urged me as he walked into his house, carrying Barney. He nodded at the tiny woman and said, “You have to excuse Mercy here, Agent Conner. She's not good with strangers.”
“Agent?” I asked, believing I'd heard him wrong.
“Silverado, are you hard of hearing?”
My heart leaped into my throat. I turned immediately.
Nubbin stood in the doorway, holding a coffee mug in one hand and his ever-present cane in the other hand. “Well, Buick, aren't you going to say hello?”
My knees gave way. I couldn't breath. The small woman grabbed my elbow before I collapsed.
“Whoa there. You didn't tell her, Sheriff Wagner?” She asked, looking at Charlie.
“Nah, she loves surprises.” He chuckled.
As Agent Conner helped me into a seat, Nubbin walked over, laughing that familiar laugh. “Gotcha, Lumina. I bet you didn't think you'd find me here.”
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.
Agent Conner took pity on me and began to tell me what it was I was witnessing. “The sheriff must have been so busy, he forgot to inform you, but Mr. Schmeckpepper has been staying here for the last few days – under protection. I don't know if you're aware of this, but there have been a series of bank robberies that have taken place here in Nebraska and in Kansas.”
I nodded, fixated on the wide grin on Nubbin's face. I'd never seen him look so happy.
Charlie took a seat next to me, still chuckling. I wanted to kick him, but my limbs wouldn't move.
“Looks like Charlie isn't as bad as I thought he was. He was smart enough to put me on the payroll.” Nubbin said proudly.
Agent Conner explained, “Well, he's not on the payroll, but Mr. Schmeckpepper is helping us with our investigation.”
Charlie interrupted, asking Agent Conner. “Did you call the tabloids and feed them that malarkey?”
A man stepped into the room, his badge clearly visible. “No, that was me. We are trying to root these guys out. I'm sorry that you weren't informed, but you understand how sensitive the case is at this point.”
Charlie nodded. “I get it, just a little heads up would have been nice.”
It was my turn to interrupt. After all, I was the one completely left out of the loop. “What is going on here? Is Nubbin in some kind of protection program? What about the elopement and the kidnapping?”
Nubbin laughed. “Slow down there, Malibu.”
He had no idea how much I missed hearing him call me by those quirky nicknames. If I wasn't so mad, I'd squeeze the lovin' out of him.
“Could someone explain what all of this means?” I asked, looking from Agent Conner to the other agent and finally at Charlie.
“He's helping us with the bank robberies. These two are FBI agents from the North Platte office.” He looked at Nubbin and asked, “Do you want me to tell her?”
I opened my mouth to demand that someone tell me, but just as soon as I did, my flu symptoms came to a head and I started sneezing uncontrollably.
Charlie immediately stood up and returned with a box of tissue and over the counter daytime flu medication.
“Take these before your head falls off.” He said, handing them to me.
“Great! That's all I need is Chevrolet giving me pneumonia before I get my pardon.” Nubbin groaned.
It took me several minutes to return to a human state. By then, everyone had moved to the living room. When I walked in, they were glued to the television, watching the news. They were replaying the footage from the tabloid news show.
“Good. Good.” Agent Conner said as she listened to them pontificate on Nubbin's whereabouts and what his involvement was with the bank robbers.
“What kind of operation are you running here? Why are you trying to frame an elderly man?” I asked.
Charlie looked at Nubbin, nodding. “Go ahead and fill her in before she creates some crazy scenario in her head.”
I glared at him as I waited for Nubbin to explain.
“I'm not as wonderful as you think I am.” Nubbin started. “I did something a long time ago and, well, I got into some trouble over it.”
I still didn't understand. “Okay. What does that have to do with anything?” I asked.
Nubbin sighed, smoothing his hand over the stubble on his chin. “I went to jail for a little bit.”
“Okay, so?” I looked at Charlie, wondering why they felt it necessary for me to know this about Nubbin.
“I robbed a bank.” Nubbin said, casting his eyes down on the floor.
Other than the sound of the television, the room was silent as I let the information sink in.
After the reporter finished her report, Agent Conner addressed my question. “Mr. Schmeckpepper, like many people many years ago, fell on hard times and made a mistake. No one was hurt. He made his restitution. That incident isn't our concern. Right now, we have a group of men, running around robbing banks in small towns.”
“That was a long time ago, so why are we talking about it now?” I asked.
Nubbin sat forward in his seat, clearing his throat. “I know them. Well, I know one of them. He and I are...” His voice trailed off.
“Are what?” I asked.
“He's my brother. My twin brother Nolan.” Nubbin said.
“Your twin? There are two of you?” I couldn't believe it.
Everyone in the room laughed.
Nubbin answered, “Two for the price of one.”
“Well, that would make him, an elderly man.” It hit me as I said it. “That's why they think that you were kidnapped. It's him. He's with them. That was him in that photo from California.”
“Bingo!” Charlie clapped his hands. “You got it!”
I sat down next to Nubbin. “You never robbed a bank, did you?” It finally made sense.
Nubbin's eyes welled with tears. He didn't answer, but I completely understood. He'd done time for his brother.
I grabbed his hand. “Oh, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how difficult that must have been for you.” I patted his hand.
True to form, Nubbin didn't let that nonsense go on for long. “Cut it out, Cutlass. People are going to think you're sweet on me.”
I couldn't help myself. I had to hug him, whether he wanted me to or not.
It took a moment for me to realize that I'd been kept in the dark intentionally by both Charlie and Nubbin. I couldn't be mad at Nubbin, but Charlie, I wasn't about to let him off so easily.
“Why didn't you tell me? You put me through all this heartache for nothing!” I said.
“Heartache?” Agent Conner asked. “Oh, I hope you didn't think that I was seeing Charlie. I'm so sorry if it looked that way.”
Charlie's eyebrows furrowed. “What are you talking about?”
Agent Conner explained, “Well, she stopped by to see you the other day and, I'm afraid, I surprised her. Remember the other morning when I stopped to drop off the donuts for Nubbin? Well, as I walked out the door, Mercy pulled up in her car and I think I scared her off. I'm so sorry. I wasn't trying to cause a riff in your relationship.”
I responded immediately to clarify what our relationship was. “We aren't dating.”
At the same time, Charlie said, “Oh, is that what you are upset about, darling?” He laughed because he knew how much his words would bother me.
Nubbin broke out in laughter. His belly shook joyfully. It was a sight to see. I was just glad he was safe. It didn't bother me too much that he still believed that Charlie and I were an item.
“That's funny!” Nubbin slapped his knee cap.
It was time to change the subject. This conversation took a very sudden turn and I didn't like it one bit.
“How do you plan to catch the bank robbers? If they are in California, what can you do from here?” I asked.
Charlie said. “That's why I asked you not to come to Nebraska. You are going to do us no good if you're here.”
I felt a tinge of excitement. Did this mean that Charlie actually wanted my help?
“Don't get that look. I wasn't going to ask you for a thing. I was just saying that you made a trip out here for nothing. We had things under control.”
Nubbin scoffed. “That's not true, Deputy Dog.” Nubbin started. “You told me that if Chevrolet would stay put, we'd be able to ask for her assistance. That's what you told me. I may be getting up there in age, but I know I didn't hear things.”
I loved Nubbin so much.
“Well, hold on fellas. Maybe, we can use Mercy in some capacity.” Agent Conner interrupted. “How do you feel about doing a television interview?”
I swallowed hard. What had I just gotten myself into?
By the end of the night, I had been given a makeshift script and I was sent on my way to the local television station.
“Wish me luck.” I said as I walked out the door.
“Charlie was already waiting in the car for me, a look of disapproval in his eyes. “This is just crazy.”
The station manager was waiting for us when we pulled into the lot. “I'm so glad you're here. Let's get you ready and see if we can't make a difference. Nubbin is such a beloved member of our community. I'm sure everyone is rooting for his safe return. Even if that means, he'll go to prison, this community will always remember what a great man he was. A real pillar of the community.”
Boy, he laid it on thick, didn't he? I got the feeling that Nubbin wasn't exactly citizen of the year now or ever. The way these people passed out judgment like it was playing cards, I knew exactly what life must have been like for my favorite curmudgeon.
“Looks like our man has gone viral. Have you seen the reports of sightings coming in from all over the country. He even has his own social media accounts.” The manager beamed as if he'd just been handed the keys to a career making story. Too bad he had no idea that he was about to be duped just like I was.
“He went viral?” Charlie pulled out his phone to check the web. “Well, look at that. He sure did. One hundred thousand views and counting on this post. And, this one is already one million views. He's a superstar.” Charlie laughed at the absurdity of it all.
“He's a star.” I had to laugh too. Nubbin would get such a kick out of it, if it didn't involve his troubled brother.
Charlie tugged my coat as we followed the station manager in the building. “Keep your cool and whatever you do, don't go spouting off and spilling all kinds of nonsense at the viewing audience. Just answer the questions and stick to the script.”
This marked the first time that I appreciated Charlie's input. I'd never been good at public speaking, fits of anger and sarcasm aside. I was no lecturer, despite what my daughter might tell people.
I managed the interview without so much as a hiccup. I just hoped that it would garner the results Agent Conner assured us it would. I didn't want to negatively impact Nubbin's life anymore than it already was.
When we left, I asked Charlie. “Does Donna Lee know what you and the Feds are up to?”
Charlie shook his head. “No, and don't tell her. She's a loud mouth. Even bigger than you, if you can believe that.”
Epilogue
“Dinner is on me.” Agent Conner announced as she walked out of the courthouse.
“It's a date.” Charlie said, nudging my elbow.
“No, it's not.” I protested. “I am hungry, but please don't call it a date.”
“You can't eat.” Charlie said.
Confused, I asked, “What is that supposed to mean?”
“You better call your daughter. She's frantic. What kind of mother doesn't contact her daughter for days on end?” Charlie teased. “Here, use my phone, just don't lose it.”
I shot him a dirty look, taking the phone so I could call Diana.
“Finally!” Diana answered. “Did you tell her? Is she freaking out as usual?” Diana asked, believing that it was Charlie calling her and not me.
“I don't freak out.” I said, surprising her.
“Mom? I thought you were... How are you?” she tried to change the subject.
“Nope, what do you not want me to know?” I asked.
The words flew out of Diana's mouth so fast I could barely make them out.
“I'm sorry, but it sounded like you said someone is getting married. If this is something about me and the grumpy sheriff, please don't go there with me.” I warned her.
“Mom, listen. This isn't about you. I'm getting married.” This time, she enunciated her word
s.
“What?” I must have heard her wrong. Beads of sweat started to form on my brow and I was sure they weren't the result of the fever I was still fighting to control. “I must be hearing things. Say it again.”