by Fox, Cathryn
“Last night,” I begin.
“Kellan,” she says quickly to stop me, her voice a little shaky, unstable. She sits up straighter. “I’ve given in a lot of thought, and what we did last night can’t happen again. There are rules, your rules, and I don’t normally—”
“Sleep with your boss.”
“Exactly. And since we can’t go beyond that, and it’s not in my nature to sneak around, or have a secret affair with anyone, things have to go back to the way they were. We had a fun night, but what we did was a mistake.”
It was anything but a mistake.
I play with the pen in my hand. “Is that what you want?”
“I need this job, Kellan. I can’t do anything to risk losing it. Even if I really lo…” She stops speaking, takes a breath and lets it out slowly. “It just has to be this way, okay,” she says, and I resist the urge to run to the roof and scream Halleluiah. It’s not what she wants. It’s the way she has to be, thanks to the rules I put in place.
“Kellan,” she says quietly.
“Yes.”
Her lashes fall slowly, the lift. “How come you have a no fraternization rule?”
Time to lay it on the line.
“I was involved with an employee once, and came to learn she was using me to climb the social and corporate later. She wanted what was in my pocket, and the power that came behind my name.”
Eden goes quiet, and looks down at her hands. “I’m so sorry she hurt you.”
An invisible band tightens my heart, and that’s when I realize I’ve only really ever been in love once. And it wasn’t with my ex. Jesus, if I can’t make things right between Eden and me…well, the alternative is too painful to think about.
7
Eden
Eden
The next week and a half passed by in a blur of activities. Not only have we been busy with the Christmas rush, we’ve been developing a prototype and a marketing plan for the new Valentines adventure. Marketing has been making calls, and our buyers are responding positively. This can only help Kellan’s bottom line, and show his father that he has what it takes before his thirtieth birthday.
I’m thrilled about that, thrilled that I was a part of him saving the business and jobs, but thinking of Kellan hurts my heart. We ended things that fateful day, and it’s all I can do to carry on, see him each morning and not be able to touch him, kiss him. I never, ever should have let my heart get involved. But what choice did I have? It was love at first sight when it came to my boss.
“Earth to Eden.”
“What?” I lift my gaze and find Destiny at my door.
“Hey are you okay?”
“I’m okay,” I say, and sink back into my chair, the big bonus I found on my desk this morning still in my hand. The note said it was for my work on the chocolate body paint, but I have a feeling this bonus is bigger than anyone else’s. Is it Kellan’s way of paying me off, keeping me quiet after sleeping with him? While that question dances in my head, my heart knows he’s not like that. Still, I can’t quite figure it out.
Destiny steps into the room, and frowns. Since I needed someone to talk to, I confessed everything to her, and she promised not to spill a word. She’s a trustworthy friend, and I love her for that.
“Why don’t you come out with us tonight. A bunch of us are getting together for a Christmas Eve drink.”
“No, I have to go to the hospital.”
She crosses the room, sits in the chair facing my desk. “I don’t like seeing you like this.” I force a smile but it’s wasted on my friend. She can see right through me. “Why don’t you walk into his office and tell him you changed your mind. Tell him you’re willing to have an secret office affair.”
“That’s just it though, Destiny. He never asked for that. I just wanted him to know it wasn’t something I was willing to do.”
“That might be better than…” she waves her hand up an down my body. “…this.”
“It’s not. Believe me. I can’t carry on an affair with Kellan knowing it’s never going to go anywhere.”
“Then walk in there and tell him his rules are stupid.”
“You don’t understand. He has rules for a reason.” Reasons I’m not about to tell her. Kellan told me those things in confidence, and I’m not about to betray his trust. Trust is everything to me. It’s just so sad that he’d been hurt so deeply, that he put rules into place because he believes everyone wants something from him—other than his heart.
She stands. “Okay, if you change your mind, text me. I’ll save you a seat.”
“Thanks,” I say and push from my chair. Kellan let the staff off at noon, a surprise to everyone. But Destiny and I stayed late, with no loved ones at home waiting for us. Kellan also shocked us all with the daily lunches he’s been ordering in. I’ve been eating so well, I actually put on a bit of weight, and I kind of like the new curves. “I’ll follow you.” I grab my purse and coat, but the phone on my desk rings. “I’ll better get that,” I say and give Destiny a big hug. “You have fun tonight and I’ll call you in the morning.”
“K, love you, and Merry Christmas,” she says before disappearing out my door.
I hurry back to my phone, and call display informs me it’s Santa’s Helpers, the agency I used for our Christmas Party. “Hello.”
“Eden Davis?”
“Yes, this is Eden.”
“This is Dan, the manager of Santa’s Helpers, and it’s just come to our attention that the Santa you hired was unable to fulfill his duties due to food poisoning. I want to give my sincerest apologies, and of course we won’t be cashing the check.”
My heart leaps into my throat. “I’m sorry, there must be a mistake. Santa did an amazing job with the kids.”
“Oh, uh…” Papers rustle through the phone as my pulse jumps. If the man I hired was sick, who played Santa? Oh, god, no! Lightheadedness overcomes me as all the blood in my head drains to my feet.
“He missed a few jobs that night so I assumed he didn’t make yours either. Let me look into this further and I’ll get back to you. Merry Christmas.”
I struggle to find my voice. “Merry Christmas to you, too.”
I hang up, and force my feet to move as my mind thinks about all the things that had changed in my life, around the office, since I sat on Santa’s lap and confessed…everything.
Omg, the things I said about Kellan.
I force my feet to move, as I shrug into my coat and dash outside. The bus is already approaching the stop, so I pick up the pace and run. By the time I get to my seat, I’m out of breath, and nearly out of my mind.
Had Kellan put the suit on and played Santa…played me?
Was there a big red suit in that package he’d been juggling?
Ohmigod!
I fold my arms over my stomach and bend over, forcing myself to calm down and breath. If Kellan had been playing Santa, why didn’t he tell me? Why would he keep something like that a secret?
Thirty minutes later I step off the bus and hurry inside the hospital. I brush the newly fallen flakes from my coat, and head to the finance department to make another payment against Dylan’s bills.
“Hi Theresa,” I say, working to keep my voice and hands from shaking as I greet the sweet elderly woman who’s been collecting my money for quite some time now.
“Hi there, Eden,” she says a huge smile on her face.
I reach into my purse to pull out the money, when she gives me a perplexed frown. “What?” I ask.
“Your bill has been paid in full, honey.”
I stumble backward. “There must be some sort of accounting mistake.”
“No, Santa came in here a little while ago and paid it off.” She winks at me. “You must have been a very nice girl this year.”
Omg. Omg. Omg.
I shove the envelope back into my purse. “Merry Christmas,” I say quickly and hop back on the elevator. I press the button to Dylan’s floor and when I get off, and hear all the laughter i
n the playroom, I force my legs to take me down the hall. I stand in the doorway, see all the presents being given out—amazing toys that I could never afford to give the kids.
A young volunteer who is a regular on Dylan’s floor is dressed as Santa’s helper, and when she spots me at the door, she waves, then says something to Santa.
Santa’s gaze meets mine, and I take in the way he moves with such familiarity. From my distance, and the big beard and suit, I can’t see his features, can’t be one hundred percent sure it’s Kellan.
The helper crosses the room and hands me a present.
“What’s this?” I ask.
“Something special from Santa.”
I accept the rectangle box, and my legs nearly go out from beneath me. I grip the doorframe, as the helper skips back to Santa. I stare at the package, and pray to god it’s not what I think it is. If it is it can mean only one thing. Kellan was Santa.
“Eden,” Dylan yells when he sees me. He jumps from the floor and dashes toward me. I bend, kiss him on the cheek and give his baldhead a rub. “How are you kiddo?”
“Santa’s here,” he yells, and it thrills me to see him so excited.
I put on my best smile. “I can see that.”
“He brought me a BB-9E App-Enabled Droid with Droid Trainer. It’s so cool. I’ve always wanted one. Look at it.”
He holds the big toy out, but I have no idea what it is or what it does. The only thing I know is it’s a droid and Santa is sending me a message, which mean the rectangular package I’m holding can only be one thing.
“What did he get you?” Dylan asks.
“My guess is it’s a Nintendo, Game Boy.”
“Open it.”
Just then my sister Tina catches my eye and walks toward me. I swallow against the thickness in my throat and try to smile.
“Hey, everything okay sis?” she ask.
“Everything is fine,” I fib, and rip the paper from the present. When I see a Gameboy, the room spins around me.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” She glances at the gift in my hand and her eyes widen. “Hey nice Gameboy. Isn’t that what you wanted when you were like eight?”
“Yeah,” I say quietly, my mind filled with a million questions. Like why would Kellan do this? Why would he pay off Dylan’s bills, buy such amazing gift for the kids. It makes no sense.
Unless…
Tina angles here head and winks. “You must have been a very good girl this year.”
Oh, if she only knew.
“I have some last minutes things to take care of,” I say, desperately needing to get out of there, to get my thoughts sorted out. “I’ll call you first thing tomorrow okay. Merry Christmas.” I give her and Dylan a hug and rush outside.
I can hardly believe that my Santa and my boss are one in the same.
Why would he out himself like this tonight, in front of the kids, and my sister? I’m not sure, but one thing I do know is I have to start looking for a new job.
8
Kellan
My heart nearly crashes through my chest when Eden rushes from the room. Oh, Jesus, please tell me I didn’t blow this. Scared shitless that I lost her, I want to bolt but I still have a few more presents to give out and I don’t want to disappoint the kids. Eden wouldn’t want me to either. I hurry through the gift giving, and half an hour later, I climb from my chair, quickly wish everyone a Merry Christmas as I dash to the door. I need to find Eden. Now.
Here I thought dressing up like this, and giving out gifts because I wanted to do nice things for her, wanted to show her how much I care about her, and the ones she loves, would help her see that I’m more than a douche who slept with her and kept it a secret. I never thought she’d run out, without so much as speaking to me. Fuck, if I ruined this with her…shit, I can’t think like that. She loves me. She told me that. Well, she told Santa that. Man, I really fucked up.
I step into the hall, look left then right, but she’s nowhere to be found. I curse under my breath and head to the elevator. Maybe I’ll catch her at the bus stop. When I finally make it outside, the bus stop is empty.
Shit.
“Santa?”
I turn and find Tina, Eden’s sister behind me. “Hi,” I say.
She angles her head, looks me over. “Is everything okay? You gave my sister a present and she bolted, then after you gave the gifts out, you took off fast too. What’s going on?”
“Where does your sister live?” I ask her quickly.
Her eyes go wide. “What?”
“Where does Eden live? I’m totally in love with her, but I think I ruined everything between us.”
She falters backward a bit. “I…uh…”
I remove my hat and beard. “It’s me Kellan Bites. Her boss.”
“Ohmigod. You’re in…love, with Eden?”
I rake a shaky hand though my hair and glance up and down the snow covered street. “Yes, but I messed things up big time.”
A smile comes over her face. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“I’m sure none of it was good.”
“It was all good.” She smiles and puts her hand on my arm. “I think my sister is in love with you too. Go find her.”
I suck in a quick breath and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Where does she live?” Tina quickly rambles off the address and I hurry to my car. Snow begins falling harder as I do a Google search and make my way across town. I scan the buildings until I come to her place. I take in the rows of town houses until I find her number. My heart thumps hard against my ribs as I park and dash to her door. I ring once, twice but no answer. The lights are on, so I know she’s home.
I start pounding. “Eden, I know you’re in there, open up we need to talk.”
“What do you want, Kellan?” she asks from behind the closed door.
Someone passes by on the street and gives me a quizzical look. “Please open up. I’m not leaving until you do.”
“I believe we said all we needed to say to each other last week in your office.”
“Eden please. I’m in love with you.” I stand there completely still, my breath turning to fog in front of my face, never so scared in my life.
A long while later, the sound of the lock opening fills me with hope, and when she opens the door, and stand before me in her flannel pajamas, looking so goddamn sweet she’d could give our candy store a run for it’s money, it’s all I can do not to carry her to her room and make love to her until Christmas day.
“What did you say?” she asks.
“I love you.”
She looks down, and blinks hard. “You deceived me. That’s not love, Kellan.”
I touch her cheek, brush her tear away, my throat so tight it’s hard to talk. “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I didn’t know how. If I came right out with it, I knew you would hate me, maybe even quit, and I couldn’t handle either, Eden. So instead I wanted to show you that there was more to me, that I was a good guy, worthy of your love, and not just some douche bag who deceived you.”
“You’re not a douche bag,” she whispers quietly.
Fuck man, I hurt her, yet here she is still defending me. If I didn’t already love her, I sure as hell would have now. I reach out, put my hands on her shoulders. “You have to know I’d never do anything to purposely hurt you. I’d gotten off course when I first started at Sweet Bites, nearly lost the business. I was too scared for that to happen again, too scared the good people who work for me would lose their jobs, but more importantly I was too scared that you were good to be true.”
Her eyes soften, her body relaxing under my touch.
“You’ve proven over and over again, that you’re sweet, kind, the most generous woman I’ve ever known. I’m sorry I never told you the truth. Trust is important to you, it is to me too.”
I take a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“I have a confession, Eden. I’ve been crazy about you since you started working for me. That night in the copier room, I
wanted you. You wanted to be naughty. I thought I could give you what you want and get you out of my system, but it all blew up in my face. One taste of you and I wanted more. I wanted it all. Please tell me you want that too.”
She steps back, breaks from my hold, putting both physical and emotional distance between us.
“You paid Dylan’s bill, and bought all those expensive toys for the kids. Why?”
“You’re always giving, Eden, and I wanted to give to you.”
“The bonus—”
“You worked hard for it. Deserve every penny.”
She shakes her head, her long hair spilling over her shoulders. “You once told me that everyone wants you for what’s in your pocket, or your family name? Do you really think I’m like your ex, or the women from your social circle? That I want you because you can buy me things, take care of my bills? Is that what you thought would make me happy. I’m not like that.”
“I know that. You’re everything those women aren’t which is why I did what I did. I want to give you things. I want to make all your Christmas wishes come true. Don’t you see, I love you Eden.”
She blinks up at me, water pooling in her eyes. “You did those things from the goodness of your heart, not because you thought that’s what I wanted from you? That I was like all those other women?”
“Jesus Eden. I never stopped to think about how you might see it.”
A long pause and then she says, “I want you to know, I appreciate what you did for the kids, for Dylan. But I don’t love you because of your bank account or your status.”
She still loves me!
“That’s not what I need from you, Santa,” she says, and takes a step toward me.
My heart jumps in my throat, as she warms, a new understanding in her eyes. I open my coat, and drop my pants. I stand before her in nothing but my birthday suit, and a bow tie. “You once asked Santa for a man on Christmas Eve, in nothing but a bow.”