APPETITE

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APPETITE Page 18

by Kathyrn, Lorraine


  He sighed again, heading back in to refresh his cup of coffee. He took it to his office and turned on his computer, bringing up a browser window and going to Google. He sat there for a moment, wondering what to type in.

  He tried:

  'how to mate a human', but got nothing but porn sites, so he typed in:

  'how to get a woman to mate', but that only added websites on fertile sex positions to the myriad porn sites, so he tried:

  'how to make a woman want to mate', but that just brought up disturbing websites about stalking and kidnapping. He rubbed his eyes and thought for a moment, and typed in:

  'what do women find romantic', and finally found what he was looking for. He clicked through several sites on relationship advice, rom-com movie synopsis and dating advice. He zeroed in on the dating advice and spent a good forty minutes reading and clicking, a smile slowly spreading across his face. He ran upstairs and changed his clothes, anxious to go and get back.

  He came downstairs and paused at Charlie's door, listening. He could hear her shifting on the bed, and knew she was awake.

  "Charlie?" he said softly. She stilled but didn't come to the door. "I have an errand to run. I should be back-" he glanced at his watch, it was shortly after 8AM, "by 1 or so." He stopped and listened, hearing nothing but her breathing. "I wish you would talk to me, dolcezza," he breathed, laying his hand flat against the door. He heard her breath catch and waited, but she still didn't open the door. Damien opened his mouth to say something else, but couldn't think of what it should be, so he shut it again and left.

  'I have an errand I need to do this morning, but I should be back around lunchtime,' he sent to Darian. 'I am not holding Charlie captive in my rooms. If she wants to wander about, please let her, and please be sure she is unmolested.'

  'Absolutely. Drive safely,' Darian replied.

  He didn't press Damien on what he was doing, and for that he was grateful. Damien head down to the garage and got in to his truck, pausing as he backed out to look at the Triumph. He smiled, hoping tonight he would be able to take Charlie on the ride he promised her, and head towards Portland.

  Charlie sat on the bed, listening as Damien left, and slowly forced her hands to let go of the blanket. At first she was angry at his words -- he wished she would talk tohim? Last she knew, she wasn't the one that changed species to avoid confrontation. But his tone...he sounded so worried, so guarded. Like he did when she first saw him. It nearly broke her heart to hear it. And she'd wanted to go to the door and fling it open, leap in to his arms and wrap herself around him for the rest of her life. She'd grabbed on to the bedclothes as an anchor, concentrating on clutching the blanket with all her might until he left.

  She got up and shuffled to the door, opening it as quietly as she could and peering out. She didn't see him, and figured he really had left. She sighed, disturbed at feeling so at a loss without him around.

  "Jeez. Get a hold of yourself," she muttered, making her way to the kitchen. She saw the fresh pot of coffee, an empty cup placed beside it, and smiled. She poked around a bit for some sugar and got the half & half she'd bought out of the fridge. She doctored her cup to her liking and took a sip, leaning against the counter.

  She had a lot to think about, and was kind of relieved she would have some time to herself to do so. She knew she could have told Damien she wanted time to think, time alone, and he would have obliged her, she just wasn't sure she would have had the nerve to ask for it face to face.

  Charlie laughed at herself, making her way to the deck where she saw Damien earlier. She'd wanted to come out and put her arms around him. Soak up his heat and his feel and...him. She knew he had heard her behind him, he seemed to tense a bit, but when he didn't turn around she figured he was not yet ready to talk. Good thing, she acknowledged to herself, as she wasn't ready yet, either.

  She sat in one of the deck chairs and drank her coffee, thinking about the night before. She tried to tell herself she didn't see what she saw last night. She tried to tell herself a huge black wolf didn't turn in to Damien and Damien didn't turn in to a huge black wolf. She put the cup on the deck and closed her eyes, rubbing her temples.

  She thought about her mom and grandma. About what they would say to all of this. She could picture the three of them sitting around the kitchen table, drinking lemonade. She could see her mom gently reassuring her that whatever decision she made, she would have their full support. Charlie laughed softly as tears rolled unheeded down her cheeks, picturing her grandma waving a hand dismissively at her mom as she asked what did it matter if he was different, regardless of what that difference was? She would tell her that any difference only made him that much more special, and she would have scolded Charlie, telling her to turn off her reason and follow her heart.

  "If only it was that easy," she sighed to herself at long last. She gathered her cup and went to the kitchen, washing up hers and Damien's dishes and wiping down the counters. She turned and froze, looking at the cooktop, a smile just lifting the corners of her mouth as a shiver ran down her back remembering the previous morning. Shaking herself out of her reverie, she made her way upstairs to shower, feeling especially grubby after sleeping in her clothes.

  Charlie stopped when she entered Damien's room. Everything was exactly as they had left it the night before and the bed hadn't been slept in. Her brow creased as she wondered where he slept. Unless...

  She snapped her fingers and ran back downstairs, slowing as she approached the door to the room she'd used, looking at the floor closely as she went. Aha! There it was -- hair. Long black wolf hair along the baseboards on both sides of the hallway. Charlie knelt down and ran her right hand along the baseboard, picking up some of the hair and looking at it in her hand.

  Her shoulders shook as she started to laugh, at first just a quiet chuckle, but soon she sat hard on her butt, rocking to and fro and hugging herself as she neared hysteria.

  "Oh my god! My boyfriend sheds!" she gasped out to herself, making her laugh harder. Tears were streaming down her cheeks as she lay herself down in the hallway, laughter changing over to sobs. Her entire body clenched as she lay on her side, curled up and weeping uncontrollably. Part of her mind seemed detached, looking on her from afar and telling her she was hysterical. The rest of her mind, however, didn't give fuck-all about whether or not she was hysterical. All it cared about was the crying and laughing felt good, really good, and it was the first time she'd felt good since last night.

  She lay in the fetal position in the hallway, crying and laughing, for a long while. When she finally calmed down she turned and lay on her back, and even though the knowledge she was laying on her back in the middle of the hallway made her giggle even more, she still felt incredibly calm.

  "No," she whispered to herself. "This is...this is peace." She put her hands behind her head and laid for a moment, stunned by the realization. She slowly stood, feeling a bit drained from her fit, and brushed herself off before heading back upstairs.

  She grabbed underwear, cut-offs and a t-shirt out of her suitcase and made her way to the bathroom. She quickly got in the shower and just stood under the spray for a while thinking. Meeting Damien has been...good. Great. Iincredible. I don't feel awkward or uncomfortable at all, she thought, reaching for her scrubbie and the Rainbath. Even after finding out he turns in to a big wolf. She stopped scrubbing for a moment, realizing that of all the things she felt over the last 12 hours, she never felt discomfort or unease. Hell, she thought, I haven't felt uneasy around him since I learned his name. And even then there was something...his voice, his smile, his laugh, Something. Something that made my heart go YES. She finished scrubbing herself up as another realization hit.

  "Was he...was he protecting me last night?" she asked, unaware she was speaking aloud. Damien had lunged at the other wolf, the tan wolf, not her. "He was. He was protecting me." She smiled, rinsing off before reaching for the shampoo. The thought, the idea that his reaction was for her protection only made her ha
ppy. Made her feel warm inside.

  He said he would give his life for mine, didn't he? she mused as she scrubbed her hair. A frown crossed her face as she rinsed the shampoo out. But he also said there was only one partner for him, there was only one person in the world he could ever be with, and that was me; so how did he get hurt before? If he only has one true partner, how could anyone have ever hurt him before?

  She grabbed her conditioner and worked it through her hair. I need to talk to Eva, I need to get some answers. If what Damien said was true, then he should not have gotten hurt. If not...well, then he's lying. And I don't want to think about what that means.

  Charlie quickly rinsed and got out of the shower, drying herself haphazardly and throwing her clothes on. She dashed to her suitcase and grabbed her flipflops, heading downstairs and out the door to talk to Eva.

  She quickly crossed the landing and knocked on the double doors to Darian and Eva's apartment. When she got no response after a couple minutes, she knocked again, louder, and contemplated seeing if the door was unlocked.

  "Can I help you?" a voice called from behind her. Charlie gave a gasp and spun around to find a young woman -- Charlie guessed no older than 23 or so -- behind her.

  "I was looking for Eva," Charlie said, eyeing the girl closely. She wasn't as tall as the others, but she was still a couple inches taller than Charlie.

  "Oh. Madam is downstairs in the office with the Alpha." She looked at Charlie and gave her a shy smile. "I can take you to her if you like?"

  "Please. And thank you...." Charlie answered, hoping the girl would volunteer her name. When the girl simply turned and head downstairs, gesturing for Charlie to follow, she decided to try another tactic. "I'm Charlie Bell."

  "Yes, I know, Ms Bell." The girl glanced at her sideways and giggled. As they reached the main floor they were nearly run down by two wolves racing past them. Their sudden appearance startled Charlie and she jumped before giving a shaky laugh. The girl looked at her and smiled. "Sorry about that, Ms Bell. They're young. And excited they can let their wolf out again."

  "They couldn't before?"

  "The Alpha asked that we did not until Mr. Dimeo had an opportunity to introduce you to his wolf. We were told today the restriction has been lifted." She gave Charlie a brilliant smile.

  "I see," Charlie said as she was led down a hallway. "I'm sorry -- I didn't catch your name."

  "My name is Mimi, Ms Bell."

  "Please, call me Charlie." The girl gave her an odd look at that, but didn't speak. "It's nice to meet you, Mimi."

  They came to a door and Mimi signaled to Charlie that this was the office. Charlie thanked the young woman and knocked, opening the door when she heard Darian call her to enter. She walked in to find Darian seated with his feet up on a large wood desk, and Eva perched on the side of it. Charlie's eyebrows raised when she took in the obviously staged scene.

  "How'd you know it was me?" she asked the couple, closing the door behind her and leaning against it.

  "What do you mean?" Darian asked while Eva snickered.

  "I hardly think this is how you carry out your day-to-day operations," Charlie said, moving into the office.

  "What?"

  "Come on, my heart, she's not stupid." Eva stood, turning to Charlie. "We heard you talking with Mimi on your way here."

  "Really?"

  "Our hearing is exceptional," Darian said, putting his feet down and leaning on the desk. "What can we do for you?"

  "Actually, I was hoping I could talk with you for a bit. If you're free," she said, looking at Eva.

  "Of course," she said, walking towards Charlie and putting a hand on her shoulder. "Let's go upstairs and have some tea."

  "Sounds good, thank you."

  "I will be back in a bit," Eva said to her mate as they turned to go.

  'Careful what you say,' Darian sent as they left the office and turned towards the stairs.

  'She's confused, love. She needs someone to talk to about this.'

  'I know, mate, but we don't want to tell her something that is not our place to disclose.'

  'I will stay open to you, warn me if I seem to be crossing a line.'

  "What's on your mind, Charlie?" Eva prompted as they made their way upstairs.

  "You know I know," Charlie said, following Eva into the alpha pair's apartment and towards the kitchen.

  "Yes. Everyone knows you know." She gave Charlie a sympathetic smile. "We are sorry it didn't go too well for you two." She motioned for Charlie to take a seat at the breakfast bar and busied herself with making tea.

  Charlie looked hard at Eva, trying to will her to turn around again. "What all does 'everyone' know?"

  Eva did turn around at the tone in Charlie's voice, and the two women eyed each other closely. "What are you asking?"

  "How much does everyone know?"

  "That Damien has stated you're his, you're his mate, and that you know what we are."

  "And that's all he's said?"

  "That is all the pack knows." She paused and smiled warmly at the woman in her kitchen. "What do you want to know, Charlie?"

  She sighed and sat back in her seat. "I just-" she stopped and shook her head. "Never mind. It's not important."

  "The only people who know about your past are Damien, Darian and myself." Eva tried to give Charlie a reassuring smile, but she could see the tension and anger in her posture.

  "He told you? I can't believe he would do that." Her face was bright red, and she looked close to tears. "He had no right..."

  "He had an obligation to, Charlie. As the alpha pair we are responsible for everyone in the pack. Everyone. We need to know who is being introduced to it."

  "And that entitles you to know intimate details of my past?"

  "Yes. Damien wants you -- all that you are and all that you were and all that you will be -- to become part of this family, part of this pack."

  "But why...what difference does my past make?"

  "Please understand, Charlie, our society is different, quite different, than what you are used to. He couldn't not tell us. It does not single you out, it does not ostracize you. It does tell us how strong you are, how resilient, and how special. Not a lot of people would have made it through what you did and not ended up bitter." The kettle whistled and Eva turned to steep the tea. "Actually, I think that might have been part of why he told us -- pride that his mate is so strong in her heart, mind and soul."

  Charlie snorted at that. "Right. Pride."

  "Milk? Sugar?" Eva asked. Charlie shook her head and Eva slid a cup of tea to her. "What did Damien tell you about us?" she asked, changing the subject.

  Charlie took a sip of her tea before answering. "Other than you exist?" Eva gave a soft chuckle at that and nodded. "Not much. Just something about being his 'one', whatever that is, and that he could change me." She paused and chewed on her lip for a minute. "And something about mating? And if I didn't he might go crazy?"

  "That's it?" Eva asked, incredulous.

  "Well, to be honest...he might have said more. I was too busy trying to wrap my head around the fact my new boyfriend had turned in to a wolf in front of me to pay close attention."

  "I see," Eva sipped her tea and smiled at Charlie. "Well, let me see if I can clear some things up for you." Charlie nodded at her to continue. "I'll start with what Damien meant when he said you're his 'one'.

  "We -- weres -- are born as one half to a whole. Our beings are not complete, our lives are not complete, until we find our other half. Our 'one', the one who completes us, the one we mate with, we have a family with, the one we stay with for the rest of our lives. While we tend to be rather open sexually up until we find them, once we do, once we mate, we are wholly monogamous."

  "Mate?"

  "Mating is what you would call getting married. Except when we do, it is for life."

  "Really? There's no...cheating? No breaking up or divorce?"

  "No," Eva said. "Not a chance."

  "Even if you cho
se the wrong person?"

  "We don't choose. Our mate is pre-destined for us, and it is never the wrong mate."

  "By whom?"

  She took another sip of her tea and smiled. "Does it matter?"

  "Yeah, it does. I mean, yeah, it's like being sent to prison without being charged with a crime, isn't it?"

  "Why would you think of being mated as a sentence? It's a cause for celebration."

  "Being forced to mate with someone? What if you don't want them?"

  "Is that an issue here, Charlie? Do you not want Damien?" she looked at her closely, and Charlie dropped her eyes.

 

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