“I understand.” Lacy couldn’t feel her face. Her lips were numb.
“You should go. It’s too hard to see you, knowing we shouldn’t be together.” Dane looked away then, his hands fisted by his sides, his teeth gritted. “Leave, Lace. Please leave. You deserve a life with a man who will come home every night in one piece. Alive. Please, just go.”
Her legs were controlled by someone other than herself. They had to be. They were moving up the stairs. No! Go back! And then she was running. Running faster than she’d run in years. She was in the car, driving. She didn’t remember any of the turns or stopping at red lights. How did I get here? She stood on the porch of the cottage. She unlocked the cottage door. The cottage that Dane rented me. She didn’t remember turning on the bath or soaking until her fingers and toes had pruned. She didn’t remember hearing the phone ring and ignoring it—multiple times.
When Lacy opened her eyes as the morning sun streamed through the curtains, she couldn’t remember ever feeling so lost. She buried her head beneath the pillow and closed her eyes again. Maybe she could stay here forever, in this nowhere land, this gray state of half awake and half asleep. Maybe if she tried hard enough, she really could disappear. No, she couldn’t do that. Rob’s unconscious. Sheila needs me. She had to get to the hospital. She tried to move from bed, but her body wouldn’t respond to her command. When had she become so exhausted? Dane. Dane will come. No matter what I need, he’ll come for me. She collapsed back against the mattress with the weight of a dead man. Dane wouldn’t answer her pleas. Dane was gone. They were done. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to be whisked away into another day of blissful sleep.
DANE SHOT UP in bed. His eyes darted around the cabin, his pulse racing. Goddamn dream. He looked at the empty space beside him, where Lacy should have been. The evening before came back in bits and pieces. Rob. Oh God, Rob. The next thought brought Lacy, and reality hit him like a brick in the face. He’d sent her away. He’d had to protect her. I did the right thing. His chest burned. If I did the right thing, why do I feel like someone turned my body inside out and kicked me to the curb? He wanted to stay in his cabin and never face the world again. He wanted to go someplace far away, where he could disappear and wallow in his despair.
He dragged himself from bed, went into the bathroom, and turned on the shower. He stepped under the warm spray and ran his hands through his hair, thinking of his call to the hospital last night. No change. Rob had been moved to the ICU, and he was being treated prophylactically for aspiration pneumonia.
The feel of Rob’s weight in his arms was ingrained in his muscle memory. The feel of his friend’s stilled chest beneath his hands came back to him, and the rush of fear that had torn through him returned. Dane fisted his hands, remembering how hard he’d thumped Rob’s chest. His lungs burned as they had yesterday. He’d have climbed into Rob’s body and pumped his heart by hand if he could have. He thought of Lacy running into his arms at the hospital and, later, walking off the boat and sprinting away. The images came at him all at once. Lacy, naked beneath him. Rob laughing on the deck of the boat. The fucking shark whipping up toward the surface. Dane covered his face, trying to stop the flow of tears that burned as they left his eyes. He didn’t recognize the rumbling in his chest. He didn’t hear the desperate cries as they tore from his lungs, or feel the muscles in his legs tense when he dropped to his knees on the shower floor and buried his face in his hands. He didn’t feel the terror that ripped through him at the thought of losing Rob and Lacy. A piercing pain seared through his heart. Finally. A pain he recognized. The same gut-wrenching pain that had speared him the day his mother had died. He cried out again, this time with determination. The words that came were indiscernible, but they didn’t matter. He had to let the incessant gnawing pain out of his body before it ate him alive.
Chapter Thirty
DANE’S PHONE HADN’T stopped ringing all morning, and as he pulled into the hospital parking lot, it chimed again. Treat. He couldn’t deal with him right then. He couldn’t deal with Blake, or Savannah, or Hugh, or Rex, or any of the others he’d received calls from. Every time the phone rang, he looked to see if it was Lacy—half wishing it was her, though he knew he wouldn’t have answered it. I did the right thing. She could be sitting by my bed in the hospital right now. The thought sucked the life from him. His family would have to wait. He barely had the fortitude to do what he had to do and visit Rob.
He left the phone in the car and lumbered into the hospital, stopping just inside the doors to gather his wits about him. He scrubbed his face with his hands, then ran his hand through his hair, thinking about Katie and Charlie, now with their grandparents, probably petrified about their father’s situation. God, please let Rob be okay. Take me. He has a family. Please. Take me.
He made his way up to the ICU and stood outside Rob’s room, taking one deep breath after another. Hold it together. The door felt too heavy, wrong, as he pushed through it and stepped inside. The sight of Rob’s immobile body diminished beneath the sterile sheets, the tube still down his throat, and Sheila asleep in a chair, her hand encircling his, was too much for Dane. Tears threatened again, and he struggled to hold them back, for Sheila’s sake. His chest lurched with each constricted sob that he held hostage.
The door slipped closed behind him, and Sheila raised her head with a start, her hopeful eyes finding Rob before realizing the noise came from the other side of the room and shifting her gaze to Dane.
“Dane,” she whispered.
He moved toward her, his arms open wide. She met him at the foot of the bed and collapsed against him, opening the flood gates for his tears.
“I’m so sorry, Sheila. I wish it had been me.”
“I know you do,” she said. “This wasn’t your fault, Dane. It’s a risk of the job. I know that. Rob knows that.”
Tears slipped down his cheeks as he held her, strangled by guilt. “What…what are the doctors saying?” he managed. Sheila went back to her chair, and Dane squeezed Rob’s other lifeless hand. His heart sank when Rob didn’t respond. It’s real. This is real. Oh God. Rob.
“They’re hopeful. They said we wait.” Sheila stood and touched Rob’s cheek. “I can’t lose him, Dane,” she whispered. She kissed Rob’s cheek. “Don’t you leave me. Don’t you leave Katie and Charlie.”
A tear slipped down Dane’s cheek. Don’t leave me. “I did everything I could. The second I realized what happened, I got him out of the water. If only I’d been closer to him. If only I’d been the one at the rear of the shark.”
“Stop,” Sheila whispered.
“Sheila, I’d do anything to have had it be me. Rob has everything to live for. Jesus, Sheila, I’ve ruined your family. Your kids…They need their father.”
“Stop,” she repeated.
“He quit. I shouldn’t have let him go down. He was probably distracted. I should have stopped him,” Dane said.
“Stop, Dane. Please stop. You can’t change what happened. You can’t make it all better. All we can do is pray he gets well. And if not…” She turned away, her shoulders rounded forward, rocking with sobs.
Dane wanted to take Sheila’s pain away. This had to be his fault. Maybe he’d been too distracted by Lacy lately to see what was going on around him. Maybe that’s why he’d missed the warning signs that Rob was going through a difficult time. In an effort to take some of the burden and all of the blame for all that had happened between them lately, Dane said, “I ended it with Lacy.”
She turned to face him, shaking her head.
“Maybe if I wasn’t thinking about her all the time, I would have seen the trouble you and Rob were having.”
Sheila sniffled through her tears. “No, Dane. Rob didn’t want you to know. He didn’t want to quit. Don’t break up with Lacy because of that. None of this is your fault, and in your heart you know that.”
He clenched his eyes shut against the tears that tumbled down his cheeks. He knew it was selfish to keep talking abo
ut himself, but he couldn’t stop the confession from leaving his lips. “This is real. I can’t do that to her. What if it happens to me in a year, or a month, or ten years?” He shook his head. “I can’t do it. She deserves a normal life.”
“Oh, Dane. Yes, it could happen to you, too.”
For a moment everything in the room felt as though it stopped, except for that damned beeping from the machine. Dane felt like he’d been thrown against a wall. Yes, it could happen to you, too.
“I’m so sorry,” Sheila said. “She loves you.”
Dane shook his head. Stop thinking about Lacy. That’s over. Focus on Sheila and Rob. He wiped his eyes with the crook of his elbow.
“Tell me what you need and it’s yours. Don’t worry about finances. I’ve got you covered forever. Rob always knew I would if anything ever happened, but what can I help with? The kids? Anything?” He remembered from when his mother was sick and they didn’t know which way she’d turn the next hour, or day, or week, that there were no words to heal the despair that buried itself in a person’s soul while they waited for a loved one’s body to decide its fate, but knowing Dane was there and willing to do whatever she needed might give her comfort.
She shook her head. “I just want Rob. He’s my best friend, Dane. He’s my life.”
Dane leaned over and kissed Rob’s forehead. He took his healthy cheek in his palm and whispered, “You can pull through this. You’re the strongest man I know. Your run’s not over yet. I love you, man.”
“He knows you do,” Sheila said.
I’m not so sure.
Chapter Thirty-One
STOP THAT INCESSANT banging! Lacy lay on the bed staring up at the ceiling. She’d been in that position for hours, thinking about Sheila and her children, worried about Rob. She wondered if Rob had had any final thoughts when he was whipped with the tail of the shark as it careered through the water, or if he went from excitement over seeing the damn thing to nothing. Unconscious. And then her mind traveled back to Dane. It always comes back to him. She wondered for a moment if it was him banging on the door, but that thought disappeared with her next breath. She’d seen the finality in his eyes.
She curled up in a fetal position, praying that whoever was banging would go away. How could she move with a broken heart? The reality of the dangers of Dane’s job were staring her in the face, and they’d apparently hit Dane like a bullet train. He said what I’d been thinking but was too weak to admit. We’re doing the right thing. That didn’t mean she didn’t feel like she’d been run over by a Mack truck.
The banging stopped, and Lacy flipped over to her other side and stared at the curtains. How could the sun be out when Sheila was sitting in a hospital room wondering if her husband would live or die? Oh God. Rob could die.
“Lacy, open the fucking door.”
Kaylie? Lacy’s body went rigid.
“Lacy! It’s us. Please open the door. Lacy, are you okay?” Danica banged on the window again.
Lacy sat up, wanting to climb through the window and run into her sisters’ arms, but she also wanted to wallow in her pain and sadness. She wanted to feel the pain of losing Dane, if only to help her believe it was true.
“Lacy, it’s us,” Kaylie said. “Please open the door. Jesus, if you did something stupid like overdose, I’m going to kill you.”
I almost wish you would.
“Kaylie!” Danica chided.
Lacy pushed herself from the bed and peered through the curtains at her sisters’ worried faces. They were staring at each other, whispering something Lacy couldn’t hear. They didn’t notice her. She released the curtains, went out the front door, and listened to them arguing about calling the police. Lacy stepped off the porch and stumbled through the grass. Her legs felt like lead, and she grabbed hold of the side of the cottage to keep from falling over as she reached the side yard.
“Oh my God. Lacy, honey, are you okay?” Danica wrapped her arms around her and pulled her against her chest. “I was so worried.”
“Why didn’t you answer your phone?” Kaylie asked. “We’ve been calling since last night.”
Lacy couldn’t talk. She closed her eyes, hoping that somehow Danica’s body would absorb her own and she would disappear.
“Come on. Let’s go inside,” Danica said.
Lacy felt her sisters guide her into the house and to the couch.
“Lacy, you need to talk to me.” Danica crouched before Lacy, staring into her eyes. “Look at me, Lace.”
Lacy lifted her eyes.
“Good. You need to talk to me, honey. Max called and told us what happened. No one could reach you or Dane. We were worried sick. Please talk to me. Please, Lacy,” Danica urged.
“Rob’s unconscious,” Lacy whispered. “Yesterday morning he was fine. Now he might die,” she said.
“We know, honey,” Danica said.
“Dane said he can’t put me through what Sheila’s going through.” Lacy’s voice was flat, emotionless, and that’s how she felt, like someone had stolen her will to feel anything. She’d gone numb. She was the living dead.
Kaylie brushed Lacy’s hair from her face. “Oh no. We didn’t know that. Oh Lacy, I’m so sorry.”
Lacy shook her head. “It’s for the best. He could die doing what he does. Why go through that?” She shook her head again. “I just need to live my life, do my job, and move on.”
“Oh, Lacy.” Danica hugged her again. “What can we do?”
“Take me to see Sheila. She needs me,” Lacy said.
“Can we clean you up first?” Kaylie asked.
Danica shot a look at her.
“What?” Kaylie asked. “If she weren’t so upset, she wouldn’t want to go to the hospital looking like she does. I’ll help you get ready.” She took Lacy’s hand and pulled her to her feet. “Come on. We’ll just fix your hair, put on a little makeup, clean clothes. It’ll only take a minute.”
Danica appeared in the bathroom doorway. “Your phone rang, and I found it behind the couch pillows. You have twenty-seven missed calls. Twenty are from us, three are from Max, and two are from a number without an ID. Two are from your boss. Do you want me to call your boss back?”
Kaylie had washed Lacy’s face and fixed her hair. Now she was busy putting concealer on the bags under Lacy’s puffy eyes. Lacy shrugged. Dane didn’t call. His words flew back at her, causing a pain so great in the pit of her stomach that she moaned. Please, just go.
Danica crouched beside her again. “Lacy, what is it?”
She shook her head, tears streaking the newly applied concealer.
“Let me get that.” Kaylie took a washcloth and wiped the makeup from her face. “You know what, Lace? You don’t need makeup. Let’s just get…” She looked at Danica, and Lacy watched as Danica shook her head, silently telling Kaylie to stop trying.
“Come here.” Danica pulled Lacy to her feet and hugged her again. “We can do this, Lacy. Together we can make it through anything. You tell me what you need.”
“Sheila. I need to see her,” Lacy managed.
“Okay, then let’s get you dressed and we’ll go see her.” Danica took her hand and led her into the bedroom.
Kaylie grabbed a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and helped Lacy dress.
Lacy followed the commands of her sisters—Slip your feet into these sandals. Let’s go out to the car. The ride to the hospital was a blur of landscape. Let’s go inside. He’s in the ICU. The elevator hummed beneath her feet. The doors slid open.
Her sisters’ hands found hers. They were warm and small. Safe. They were safe. The antiseptic smell of the ICU made Lacy’s pulse race. The memory of Rob lying in bed with a tube in his mouth, things strapped to his chest and more tubes running from his arm stopped her cold.
“Lacy?” Danica squeezed her hand. “It’s okay, honey. We can wait. When you’re ready, you let me know.”
Ready?
“I texted Max, and Treat arranged for them to let you into the ICU, so take yo
ur time. There’s no pressure,” Danica said.
“That’s his room.” Lacy clenched Danica’s and Kaylie’s hands, staring at the entrance to Rob’s room, three doors away from where they stood. A nurse and two people in scrubs rushed past them and flew through Rob’s door.
Kaylie and Danica exchanged a worried glance.
“Kaylie, why don’t you take Lacy to sit down in the waiting room and I’ll go talk to the nurse,” Danica urged.
“Did he die? Oh God. Did he die?” Lacy’s voice rose. “Is he dead?”
Kaylie stared down the hall with wide eyes.
“Kaylie,” Danica snapped. “Take her to the waiting room.”
“No,” Lacy said. She bolted toward Rob’s room. “No. No. He can’t die. I have to help Sheila. No.” She ran toward the door with Danica and Kaylie on her heels, tears streaming down her cheeks, thoughts of Charlie’s and Katie’s sad faces whirling in her mind like a tornado.
Sheila and a nurse came out of the doorway as Lacy arrived.
“We’ll know soon. Give the doctor space. He’s very good. Let him do his thing,” the nurse said.
Sheila noticed Lacy. “Lacy. Oh my God—”
“Is he…” She couldn’t say the word.
“He’s awake. He woke up,” Sheila shrieked. She hugged Lacy. “I was holding his hand and talking to him and I felt his fingers move. I thought it was just me hoping, but then I felt it again, and then his eyelids moved.”
“He’s a-alive?” Lacy asked.
“Alive and awake, Lacy.” Sheila hugged her again. “The doctor’s with him now. Oh God, he’s awake,” she cried.
THEY’D SPENT FORTY-FIVE minutes with Sheila, and during that time, Lacy’s mind and body came back to her. The doctors said that Rob appeared not to have any mental deficits, but his breathing was shallow and he was still being treated prophylactically for aspiration pneumonia. He’d need to remain in the hospital and he’d need the breathing tube until his lungs recovered. He’d been mildly sedated when they’d left, but not before seeing him write a note to Sheila that read, I’m so sorry.
Sea of Love (Love in Bloom: The Bradens, Book 4) Contemporary Romance Page 24