by Ashley Jade
“Dude, that’s so fucking hot,” one of them shouts.
“Hell yeah it is,” someone agrees.
“Please tell me someone’s recording this. I need new material for the spank bank.”
And that’s my cue to intervene.
I push through the small crowd. “No one is recording anything.”
“Leave it to the fat girl to be a hater and ruin it,” one of them heckles as I pry them apart.
Douchebag.
“Let’s go,” I tell Bianca. “You’ve had more than enough to drink for one night.”
“I’m not drunk,” she states with an attitude. “But thanks for your concern.”
Well, this is awkward.
If Bianca likes girls, that’s one thing, I just hope she’s not kissing girls to get a reaction out of stupid boys.
Or to make a certain boy jealous.
Then again, it’s really none of my business.
“I’m leaving. Do you want a ride?”
She shakes her head. “Nah. I’ll get one from Cole.” She looks at Hayley. “Want to take this upstairs?”
Yup, and that’s my cue to leave.
Chapter 18
Cole
It’s been almost nine hours since Sawyer told me she’d think about being my fake girlfriend.
Surely, she’s made up her mind by now.
I stare at my phone, debating whether or not to text her.
Seriously. What the fuck is there to think about? She scratches my back and I scratch hers. It’s the perfect solution.
“Cole?” Jace cuts in, interrupting my thoughts. “A little help here.”
I look up from my plate of uneaten scrambled eggs. “Huh?”
He’s currently reading Bianca the riot act. I tuned out somewhere between fake food poisoning and stealing Dylan’s nightgown.
“Tell Bianca how great Dylan is.”
Shrugging, I look at my little sister. “She’s okay.”
It’s the best I can do. We’re not particularly close, but I know she loves Jace and Jace loves the fuck out of her.
That’s good enough for me.
Jace opens his mouth, but much to his dismay, it’s Oakley who comes to Dylan’s defense.
“Dylan’s the shit—” he starts to say before Jace cuts him off.
“She makes me happy, Bianca. Don’t you want me to be happy?”
Keeping her expression impassive, Bianca plucks an apple from the fruit bowl. “Are you sure? Because you don’t seem very happy right now.”
Jace looks like he’s about to have a coronary. “I’m not happy because you keep trying to drive a wedge between us and won’t give my girlfriend a chance.”
Bianca thinks about this for a minute before replying, “Only because your girlfriend is a giant murderous cunt.”
Yup. I saw that response coming from a mile away. I’m pretty sure Bianca will always blame Dylan for Liam’s death.
I ignore the way the proverbial knife twists in my gut.
Rising from the table, Jace sighs. “You need to stop. I can’t take much more of this.”
She frowns. “Well, if she’s causing you this much stress, you should probably get rid of her.”
“I’m not getting rid of Dylan—” Jace starts to shout before Oakley takes over.
“Cut the shit, B.” He takes a big swig of his orange juice. “Dylan’s my fam, and I’m not gonna sit here and let you keep taking jabs at her. You have a problem with her, you have a problem with me.” He narrows his eyes. “Capice?”
Glaring at him, she takes a giant bite of her apple and chews. “Wow, someone’s awfully salty about last night.”
Awkward.
Oakley’s jaw tics. “You just had to bring that up.”
Jace looks between them. “What happened last night?”
They both clamp their mouths shut.
He’s bound to hear about it sooner or later. Here goes nothing.
“Bianca made out with Hayley.”
“Hayley?” Stunned, Jace turns to Oak. “Your ex-girlfriend Hayley?”
He sulks. “Yup.”
Jace looks at me next. “You let her make-out with a girl at a party?”
Frankly, I’m not sure what the big deal is. I, for one, am a huge supporter of her newfound lesbianism.
If Bianca’s gay, it means she won’t want to mess around with any guys…ergo less stress for her big brothers.
Besides, what does he want me to do? Lock her up in the basement? Forbid her to have any contact with the human race?
I open my mouth to speak, but Bianca beats me to it.
“In Cole’s defense, he told me not to hook up with any guys. He never said anything about girls, though.” Smirking, she adds, “Plus, it’s not like he was there. He was too busy hanging out with his new girlfriend, Sawyer.”
On second thought, maybe locking her up in the basement isn’t such a bad idea after all. There would be way less shit for her to stir up from down there.
I can tell the exact moment he processes what she said because the little vein in his forehead makes an appearance. “Sawyer? As in Dylan’s best friend, Sawyer?”
“Do you know any other Sawyers?”
“I told you to stay away from her.”
“You also told me not to fuck Mrs. Bennett, but she ended up giving me an A in history.”
“Holy shit. You fucked Cortland’s mom?” Bianca exclaims.
We both ignore her.
“Look,” Jace starts. “Dylan doesn’t want you hanging around Sawyer. Not after what you did to her.”
“I’m sorry, last I checked, I’m a big boy and Dylan doesn’t get to make decisions for me.”
“Yeah,” Bianca cheers.
Jace’s gaze swings her way. “Go upstairs.”
“Whatever.” She fixes her stare on Oakley. “I’m gonna call Hayley and see if she wants to hang out.”
Oakley makes a low growling sound as she scampers away. When she’s out of earshot, he says, “Hayley’s a sweet girl, Jace. You need to put an end to that shit.”
Truth be told, I get why he’s uneasy about the whole thing. Hayley might be two years older than Bianca, but Bianca is…Bianca.
It doesn’t take a genius to figure out things probably won’t end well once Bianca decides she’s had enough and moves on.
Huffing out a breath, Jace motions to me. “Yeah, after I put out the other fire.”
“Me dating Sawyer isn’t a fire.”
It’s a motherfucking atomic bomb. One I can’t wait to drop on Cortland’s dumbass come Monday.
Jace doesn’t look amused. “I don’t want you dating Sawyer. You’ve already hurt the girl enough. Stay away from her.”
Oakley nods in agreement. “He’s right. Short stack is cool peeps. It’s not cool to fuck with her head.”
I wasn’t aware they were her personal security guards. “I’m not fucking with her head.”
“Right,” Jace scoffs. “You—the guy who’s only ever dated cheerleaders and models—just so happens to be dating a girl who looks like Sawyer…right after Casey dumps you publicly. Sorry, little brother. I don’t buy it for a second.”
“Suspect as fuck,” Oakley chimes in.
Technically, I dumped Casey, but I don’t bring that up because it will only give them more fodder.
“What’s wrong with the way Sawyer looks?” I counter instead.
Jace opens and closes his mouth like a fish before he says, “Nothing. She’s just…” He looks to Oakley for help.
“Got more cushion for the pushin’ than your usual type,” Oak finishes for him. “Plus, everyone knows Casey hates her guts.”
“Exactly,” Jace exclaims. “So why don’t you cut the shit and tell me what’s really going on here?”
“Nothing is going on,” I deadpan, because I’m sure as fuck not going to tell them the truth now. “Did it ever occur to either of you bozos that maybe—just maybe—I’m really into her?”
“If you wer
e into her, you wouldn’t have called her fat in front of the whole school and denied hooking up with her,” Oakley unhelpfully notes.
You know you’re in trouble when Oakley starts making sense.
Jace’s features grow taut. “Don’t do this, Cole.”
Frustration rises in my chest. “Do what? Date someone I like?”
“Use her to get back at Casey.”
“I’m not using her.”
It’s not using someone if they give you permission.
Not that Sawyer has…yet.
Chapter 19
Sawyer
My fingers press on the ivory keys, filling the church with the melodic chords of “One of Us” by Joan Osborne.
It’s one of my all-time favorite songs, despite some controversy surrounding it.
For me, it’s simply a reminder to treat everyone with kindness and love.
Making sure no one is around; I take a breath and start singing the opening bars.
I close my eyes, letting the music and profound lyrics flow through me like a current.
When I get to the chorus—the one that asks the almighty philosophical question—I tap the pedal and belt it out from the tips of my toes, singing like no one’s listening, because no one is.
“Your nanna loved that song.”
Except my granddaddy.
I should have known better. I love the man, but I’m convinced he’s half minister, half ninja.
I make room for him on the bench and he sits down beside me.
“You sound like an angel. You should sing it for next Sunday’s service.”
He’s been trying to get me to sing an entire song solo for the last ten years, but I’ve made excuses every time.
“Nah. Mrs. Feeble already asked Uncle Andrew if the choir could sing it a few months ago, but he said the song wasn’t appropriate for a church service.”
Whereas my granddaddy—who’s technically retired—is more lenient with things, my uncle—the head minister—is strictly by the book and highly opposed to what he calls, new age stuff.
Sometimes it’s hard to believe they’re father and son given they couldn’t be more different from one another.
He tuts. “Nonsense. His mother used to listen to it all the time.”
“Maybe that’s why he doesn’t like it,” I offer. “The reminder probably hurts too much.”
He nods solemnly. “Yeah, I can see that.”
My nanna was the best woman I’ve ever known. Not only was she sassy, clever, and empathetic, she was warm and loving.
The glue that held our family together.
When she passed away from breast cancer four years ago, she took a huge piece of our hearts with her.
Our family hasn’t been the same since.
Moving to California was supposed to be a fresh start for everyone, but it’s only driven us further apart.
My mother is the church secretary, but she and my uncle don’t really get along, so they do their best to avoid one another. My granddaddy, who was a beloved minister for most of his life, moved here to assist his son, but my uncle treats him like a second-class citizen and abhors his input.
And my dad? Well, he hasn’t stepped foot inside a church for over two years.
Our family is one giant mess.
I’m hoping Catherine’s wedding will restore peace, but I have my doubts.
Luckily the drama hasn’t ruined my relationship with my granddaddy.
I rest my head on his shoulder. “I miss her.”
They say time heals all wounds, but some wounds are just too deep to fix.
Her passing was the first time I ever found myself truly angry with God.
Thankfully, with some guidance and understanding from my grandfather, I was able to put things into perspective and find my faith again.
Doesn’t mean losing her hurts any less.
“I know, darlin’. Me too.” Without missing a beat, he says, “How’s everything at home?”
I know he’s referring to my parents.
“About the same.”
He hums his disapproval. “That’s unfortunate.” Sighing, he puts his arm around my shoulders. “Just keep praying on it. They’ll find their way.”
“I’m starting to think it’s one of those situations where God has already given them the answer, but they’re choosing to ignore it.”
“Yeah, it might be.” Another sigh. “I’d hate to see them go their separate ways, though. Those crazy kids sure did love each other.”
It’s true.
Like something out of a movie, Daddy was the new boy in town who joined the football team, and mama was the pretty, popular cheerleader.
According to Mama, she took one look at him standing across the cafeteria and it was like cupid struck her with an arrow. She knew instantly he was the one she was meant to spend the rest of her life with. She even declared it to my nanna the second she got home and told her to start planning their wedding.
Daddy, however, took a little more convincing.
According to him, it was like baking bread. At first there was nothing but dough in a pan, but his feelings for her kept rising little by little, until…bam. An alarm bell started going off. However, in typical guy fashion, he tried to ignore them until it was almost too late.
Fortunately, he came to his senses and managed to salvage his loaf before it walked away with Richard Samson.
After that, they were inseparable. Like peas and carrots.
My parents weren’t just high school sweethearts…they were high school soulmates.
None of us understand how things got so bad between them.
I don’t even think they do.
“I used to wish they would start talking to one another again, but now that they are, I’m starting to wish they’d go back to not talking.”
This week has been nothing but non-stop bickering between them.
He squeezes my hand. “It can’t be easy for you. Especially with Catherine gone.”
He ain’t lying. With my sister away, I’m the one they focus all their energy on.
Mama with her unhelpful comments about my weight, and Daddy with his sad eyes encouraging me to do well in school so I can get a scholarship.
It’s a lot of pressure.
Add the situation with Cole to the list and I’m liable to blow a gasket any minute.
I know he wants an answer, but I still haven’t decided.
My heart says yes, but my brain says no freaking way, and I don’t know which one to listen to.
I turn to look at my grandfather. “Can I ask your advice about something?”
“That depends.” There’s a humorous gleam in his eye. “Are you asking advice from your minister or your granddaddy?”
And that right there is my favorite quality about him.
He’s a man of God, but he’s also in touch with his humanity.
I give him the same answer I always do. “Both.”
“Okay, little lady. Let’s hear it.”
“Well, there’s this boy—”
“I don’t like the sound of this at all,” he mutters.
I can’t help but laugh. “It’s not like that.”
The realization I’m lying in the house of God hits me.
“It’s a little like that,” I amend. “You see, I used to have a crush on him, until he did something not so nice to me. We haven’t spoken since then, but now he needs my help.” I tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. “Thing is, he’s a rude, selfish jerk on the outside, but on the inside…he’s…I don’t know. There’s good in him, Granddaddy. He doesn’t like to show it, and he might not even realize it himself…but I feel it.”
He thinks about this for a minute before replying. “It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind about this fella.”
I try not to point out that no one uses the term fella anymore.
“What makes you say that?”
“You ended with a positive. You can tell a lot about how someone fe
els about a person by the way they end a statement, especially when they’re feeling conflicted about them.”
Hmm. I’ve never thought about it like that before, but it makes sense.
“So do you think I should help him?”
He folds his hands together, pondering. “Well, as a minister, I’m supposed to remind you how important it is that we love, accept, and help one another in the name of God.” He makes a face. “But as your granddaddy—I think you should tell him to kiss your grits and find help elsewhere, because no boy should ever hurt my grandbaby.”
I wrap my arms around him. He didn’t really help me with my decision, but I love him all the same.
“You ended with a negative,” I tease when we break apart.
He nods. “Sure did.”
Chapter 20
Sawyer
“You feeling okay?”
Oakley’s voice startles me awake and I jump. “Huh? I mean, yeah.” After checking to make sure I didn’t drool all over his kitchen table, I pick up the study sheet I made for him. “Where were we?”
“We were about to reschedule for tomorrow. After you’ve gotten some sleep.”
“It won’t matter,” I mutter before I can stop myself.
Between school, work, homework, tutoring Oakley, church stuff, and still not tackling my admissions essay, I’m in deep shit.
He makes a face. “What do you mean?”
“Nothing.”
The last thing I want is to make Oakley feel guilty. I offered to tutor him and I’m not giving up. He needs me.
And I…I need about ten more hours in a day and a month’s worth of sleep.
I pick my cuticles, contemplating whether or not I should ask him.
I’ve done a little research on it and Adderall is safe for people to use in therapeutic doses.
Granted, I’m not a doctor, but my sister is almost a nurse and when I called her up and asked her—under the guise of asking for my friend—if using it once a week or so to study would kill them, she said it wouldn’t.
Only problem is, I’m not sure who to get it from. Luis said he knew someone, but I don’t know who that person is.
It could be anyone and they could potentially sell me anything.