“I’m hurt, that’s all. And a little disappointed. I can’t believe you felt you couldn’t confide in me that you were pregnant.”
“Mom, you know good and well if I had told you, you’d have had one more reason not to like Jeff.”
“How long have you known?”
“Remember Christmas Eve, when I ended up in the hospital?”
She gasped and her head turned toward me. “So you thought it was better to lie to me than to tell me the truth about the baby?”
“Well, technically, I didn’t lie to you. I wasn’t the one that answered you, Jeff did.” Well, nice, I just threw my husband under the bus. “We didn’t want the pregnancy to overshadow the wedding, that’s all.”
“Do you think it’s wise to have a baby so soon after getting married?”
“Wise or not, Mom, it’s going to happen. I’d rather have waited, but things just happened. We didn’t plan for this.”
She didn’t reply for quite a few minutes. “I surely hope you never tell the baby he or she was an accident.”
I had to bite my tongue. I made the turn into the doctor’s office and parked. “Mom, it’s going to be okay.”
“I hope, for your sake, it is. You two don’t really even know each other that well, and now, you’re having a baby.” She turned her eyes away from me and just shook her head.
No sooner had I checked in, I was ushered back to the room right away. One of the beautiful things about that first appointment of the day, there are no good excuses why they can’t see you on time. The nurse weighed me and took my blood pressure. I had gained eight pounds. I didn’t think that was so terrible since I was over four months along and I still fit in my normal clothes.
When the doctor came in, he went over my last menstrual cycle, again. He asked how I was feeling and checked my lungs and heart – all the normal stuff. He told me his guesstimate was that I had conceived sometime between October nineteenth and the twenty-third. That explained a lot. It was in November that my dizziness and nausea had begun. I shuddered when I thought back to Thanksgiving and that disgusting smelling turkey. Then he told me my approximate due date was July twenty-seventh, but they’d get a better idea when I had the ultrasound.
When I finished and went to the receptionist, I made an appointment to get my ultrasound the next week and my regular appointment for the next month. Mom and I left and decided to stop to get coffee and a pastry from Starbucks. She continued with her relentless tirade.
“Why isn’t Jeff going to these appointments with you?”
“He has to work. He can’t just stop everything because I have a doctor’s appointment. He’ll be around when I get closer to my due date.”
“I think it’s very peculiar that he can’t make arrangements to be by your side. It’s his kid, too.”
“He and I talked about this, Mom. I’m fine with things like they are.”
“Well, I wouldn’t be. Sky never would have let you go to an appointment without him.”
“Sky didn’t work consistently either,” I snapped at her. I couldn’t believe she was comparing the two. I was married to Jeff now. It didn’t matter what Sky would or wouldn’t do.
“I wasn’t trying to upset you, sweetie.” Kind of too fucking late for that. She took cheap shots at Jeff, which she knew would infuriate me, then said she didn’t mean it.
“Let’s change the subject then.” I forced out between my clenched teeth. We switched to talking about Jim and his health. She told me they still had no idea what was going on with him. He had another round of tests coming up in a few weeks. We finished our coffee and pastry, then I took her back home before I drove in to work.
Jack had the week off, but I knew I’d have to talk to him next week. I had let his administrative assistant know about my doctor’s appointment and my upcoming appointment the following week, but I’d have to let Jack know I was pregnant. I was looking forward to that conversation as much as I’d look forward to being run over by a truck.
“Nikki, we’re going to the pizza joint. Do you want to join us?” Georgia asked.
“Are you kidding? I’m starving. Absolutely.”
I thought it was going to be Candace, Georgia, and me, but Tristan and Robert joined us as well. We all met at the elevator, then walked over together. Almost all the questions were about either the honeymoon or my pregnancy. I regretted telling them I was getting my ultrasound the next week as soon as the words left my mouth. The questions focused on the preference of boy or girl and my speculation around what I thought Jeff wanted. I love them all, but they were giving me a headache. I had forgotten how crazy Candace and Georgia had been when I was pregnant with Abby. It was all coming back to me though.
Before we cleared our paper plates, Georgia made a comment about me finally eating instead of picking at my food. We finished and made our way back to the office.
It was tough getting back into the swing of things. The rest of the week, I struggled to concentrate on my work. The questions eventually ended, but I knew after the ultrasound they would ramp up to full speed again. I was counting down the days until Friday. I needed a break, and I was looking forward to going to Jeff’s mom’s house, my mother-in-law now. We still hadn’t told her that I was pregnant.
****
Saturday morning, Sky and Hope came by early to pick up Abby. I had talked with Abby earlier in the week, and told her more about the baby, but I could tell she didn’t seem to get it. She was young. When I told her the baby was in my tummy, she just looked at me. Sky and Hope were going to talk with her, too.
They were going to visit his mom for the weekend. I hope that bitch treats Hope better than she treated me. I wasn’t really hopeful that she would; she was the epitome of evil in my book. I was so happy I didn’t have to deal with her anymore.
After they left, I went back upstairs and climbed back in the bed. I was exhausted.
The caress down my bare arm was familiar; I could feel him. His fingers glided down my back, over my buttocks, then down the backside of my leg. I was paralyzed by his touch. He had me squirming, aching for more. But why couldn’t I see him? I couldn’t open my eyes, they felt like they had been glued shut.
I felt his warm breath near my ear-lobe. Was he trying to tell me something? I couldn’t hear him. I could smell him. That wonderful smell of hotel soap and a hint of his spicy woodsy cologne. Jesus, what if it wasn’t him? What if someone broke in the house?
I sprang up in the bed, gasping for my next breath as I looked around the room in a panic. I was blinking my eyes furiously as my heart beat so fast I thought it would burst out of my chest. I wiped the sweat from my forehead. Then I heard his snore, and I looked down before reaching over to touch the form lying next to me. I took in a deep breath and slowly exhaled. It was him; he was home.
I laid back down, and his arm reached across me, pulling my back into his chest. “You all right, baby?” he mumbled in my ear.
“Yeah, I am now.”
I felt Jeff get out of the bed, and I rolled to look at the clock. I couldn’t believe it was nearly one o’clock. The room darkening shades made it so easy to sleep.
I was lying on my side, facing the bathroom, when he walked out. “When do you want to go see your mom?”
“That can wait until later. Right now, I’d like my wife to let me know she appreciates me being home as much as I appreciate being here with her.”
I sat up, grabbed his hand, and pulled him to me. “I’m very happy you’re home.”
Chapter 13
The visit with Jeff’s mom went great. She was such a nice, caring woman. When we told her about the baby, she smiled and said she already knew. I had known that. I wasn’t sure how she could tell though.
When Jeff had voiced his concern about the baby’s health, his mom had replied to him letting him know he couldn’t live in fear of things like that. I think Jeff and I both needed to hear her comforting words.
The rest of the weekend was perfect. Abby was brought back home
just in time to see Jeff before he left for the week. When Sky, Hope and Jeff all left, Abby and I curled up and watched her favorite show, Sponge Bob, until she fell asleep.
That blaring alarm on Monday mornings completely sucks. I always feel like I didn’t get enough sleep the night before.
I pulled a dress out of the closet to slip on for work. I tossed it on the bed, then made my way into the bathroom to take my shower. After getting ready, I went to get Abby. After getting her dressed, we made our way downstairs.
It didn’t take us long to get out of the house and for me to drop her off before driving in to work. It had been nearly three weeks since I’d seen him. I had my one-on-one, and that was probably going to be as good a time as any to let him know about the baby. I entered the parking garage. It seemed more crowded than normal.
The elevator opened up, and I stepped off, walking down the hall as if I were walking the green mile. I made my way to my desk, put my purse in my drawer, and picked up my coffee cup. Just as I turned, I found myself face-to-face with Jack. “Wow, you startled me.” I couldn’t believe he walked up on me like that, not saying anything.
“Good morning, Nikki. I didn’t mean to catch you by surprise. I figured I’d stop by to see if we needed to have our meeting today or if you’d rather move it to later in the week.” He tugged at the waistband of his pants. “You know, since you’ve been off, I wasn’t sure if we really needed to meet.”
“I do have a couple of things to discuss with you today, if you have time.”
“No problem at all. I’ll get my coffee and be ready in a few minutes.”
I held up my coffee mug. “I’m doing the same.”
“Shall we, then?”
We walked down the hall, and Jack apologized again for not being able to attend the wedding. I assured him I understood that he had a prior commitment. I had completely forgotten he hadn’t been there.
We met in his office, and he closed the door. “So how was the honeymoon?”
“It was great. Hawaii is beautiful. I hope to get back again soon.”
“Did you guys do anything exciting?”
“We did a few things on each of the islands. We took a helicopter tour, did some hiking and sightseeing, we went on a dinner cruise, and a few other things. It was definitely somewhere I’d like to visit again.”
“Well, congratulations, again.”
“Thank you.” I smoothed my dress across my lap. “I do have some other news, as well.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re resigning.”
“No, nothing like that. I’m expecting.”
“Expecting?” He looked confused. “Oh, expecting a baby? Really?”
“Yep, I am. We are.”
“When is your due date? Or don’t you know that yet?”
“The doctor said July twenty-seventh. I have an ultrasound appointment tomorrow morning and they said they could give me a better idea then, if it was different.”
“Well, keep me posted. I’ll begin making plans for your replacement while you’re out.” He shifted some papers on his desk. “You will, um, be back, right?”
“I plan to be back, yes.”
“Great to hear.” He sat up straight and pushed his shoulders back. “Anything else we need to discuss?”
“No, that’s it for me.”
“And I don’t have anything, so I guess we’ll catch up again next week, if not before.”
I stood and left, pulling the door closed behind me. I never stopped at my desk. I walked straight down to the break room to get another cup of coffee.
The rest of the day breezed by. I was happy to have the day end. After picking up Abby, I convinced her, with very little effort, we should eat at McDonald’s for dinner. I was starving, and she loved their French fries. I’d also promised to let her spend about twenty minutes in the play area before we went home.
I had called Mandy earlier and she had agreed to meet me after work.
“Hey, there,” Mandy said.
“Hey. How are you doing?” I stood to hug her.
“Eh.” She shrugged her shoulders.
“So, tell me, what’s going on with you and Creighton?”
“It’s a long story, Nikki. You know, we’ve always kind of had a weird relationship.”
“Yeah, but he loves you.”
“I know. He said it several times, after I told him I thought we need time away from each other.”
“Oh, no! You told him?”
“I had to. I began to feel … smothered. I love him, but I don’t feel like I’m in love with him anymore. I miss him now that we are apart.”
“You have to work on the relationship, Mandy. It’s not easy. Maybe you and Creighton can date each other again.”
“That seems strange. Date my husband.”
“Why not? That was how you fell in love with him. Maybe it will help you fall in love with him all over again.”
“Mommy!” Abby ran over and interrupted our conversation.
“Hey, Abby.” Mandy smiled at her.
“Hi, Aunt Mandy.”
Mandy looked at me and whispered, “And Creighton wants one of these.” She nodded her head in Abby’s direction.
“Oh, wow.”
“Yeah, wow.”
“I’m ready to go home Mommy.”
Mandy stood up. “I’m not going to keep you, I need to leave anyway. Stay in touch, and I’ll keep you posted on my situation.”
“I’ll definitely stay in touch.” I picked up my purse and lifted Abby up onto my hip. We walked out to our cars together.
By the time we left to go home, I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. It was so weird how I could be wide awake one minute and ready to collapse like a narcoleptic the next. Maybe that was it, maybe I had narcolepsy now. No, I’m being ridiculous, again.
We walked through the door, and I suddenly felt wide awake. This pregnancy was so strange. I never went through this when I was carrying Abby. We sat up and watched Cartoon Network for a couple hours until Abby fell asleep in my arms. I got her in bed, then went back down to get my phone and make sure the doors were locked before retreating up to our room. Once there, I called Jeff and filled him in on the activities of the day, less the McDonald’s dinner.
I woke in the morning excited and anxious. Today was the big day. I’d be getting the ultrasound. I would get the first glimpse of the baby.
Abby and I made pretty good time getting out of the house and to the day care center. Once I left, I called Mom to let her know I was on my way. I had to pee so badly, yet I was still drinking water. If they made me wait too long, I was sure to piss myself.
Mom and I arrived five minutes before my appointment and within minutes of checking in, I was called back. They were a little reluctant to let Mom accompany me, but at my insistence, they agreed. She sat on the opposite side of the technician.
“How far along did the doctor say you were?” The cold goop was shaken down in the bottle and squirted on my stomach.
“Four months.”
“I can’t believe you aren’t showing yet. When I was four months, I was in maternity clothes and pretty big,” the technician said. She stroked the wand across the goop to spread it across my lower belly.
“With my daughter, I was showing before three months.”
“Oh, so this is your second pregnancy?”
“Yep, baby number two.”
“Well, congratulations.” The conversation ceased when she went back to watching the monitor. She moved the wand across my belly, digging into my stomach on occasion to take a picture.
I let out a small groan. I was pretty sure if she pressed in the right spot, I’d pee.
“Are you doing okay? Can you hang in there for just a few more minutes?”
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“I’ll let you up to go to the bathroom in a little bit. I just need to capture a couple more shots.”
She continued to probe and prod me with that wand, then remove
d it and wiped all the gel off my stomach. “All done; you can go to the bathroom. When you come back, we can talk.”
I couldn’t get off the table fast enough. After relieving my bladder, I returned and was directed to take a seat instead of climbing back on the table.
“Everything looks good; the baby seems to be developing fine.”
“Could you tell if it was a boy or girl?”
“No, not yet. You can make a follow-up appointment when you get closer to six months, and we should be able to get some better pictures by then.” She reached over to the table where the monitor was. “Speaking of pictures, I wanted to give you this one. It was such a perfect shot of the baby sucking his or her thumb.”
I sat and stared at it. Emotions welled up in me and I could feel the prickly sting of tears. This was my baby, Jeff’s baby, our baby. I couldn’t wait for the day that I could hold this beautiful little bundle in my arms. I reached over and showed my mom. “Here you go, Mom, the first look at your newest grandson or granddaughter.”
Mom took the film from my hands and sighed. As much as she may not care for Jeff, I knew she would love this baby every bit as much as all the others. There was no denying my mom’s love for her grandchildren.
The technician continued, “You can call your doctor later today or tomorrow if you have any concerns or questions.” She stood from her chair. “If you don’t have any questions for me, I’ll see you in a couple months. You can make an appointment with the receptionist out front now, if you want.”
I stood. “Thank you.”
Mom thanked her as we walked out the door.
Candace and Georgia must have sensed my presence when I got to work because it only took a few minutes after I got sat and logged on for them to show up at my desk.
“How’d it go?” Georgia asked.
“It went great. I need coffee desperately; want to walk down with me? I can show you the picture, too.”
“Sure,” Candace replied. She brandished her new mug.
I had the small picture in one hand and my coffee cup in the other as we walked down to the break room. Before getting my cup of coffee, I took a napkin and laid it out on the countertop, then set the picture on it and took a picture with my phone. With the click of a couple buttons and a short message, I sent the picture to Jeff.
Jaded By Desire (Lust, Desire, and Love Trilogy Book 2) Page 11