“Nikki Carrington.” I grabbed Mom’s arm and pulled her up when I stood. I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to last before my bladder exploded. The nurse smiled at me as I waddled over toward her. Who the hell waddles at six and a half months pregnant? If anyone commented on it, I’d lie and tell them I hurt my back.
We made our way back to the small room full of equipment. The radiologist asked me the standard questions before telling me to remove my shirt, put on the gown, and lie down on the table.
After I had assumed the position, she shook the bottle of cold gel and squeezed it onto my stomach. “I’ll go as quickly as I can. I know you’re probably pretty uncomfortable.”
You think? “I’m sure I’ll be okay for a few minutes.”
She began prodding and pushing that wand into my abdomen right around my bladder. I inhaled deep, and she pressed in and held the wand tight as she clicked the keyboard buttons. If she continued to press on my belly like that, I was going to piss myself for sure. She moved the wand around toward the side of my belly and clicked a few pictures from that angle.
She pressed down from the top of my belly and kept clicking the keys.
“You want to know the sex of your baby, correct?”
“Yes, we do.”
“As soon as I get a perfect view, I’ll take a picture for you.” She clicked a few more keys on the keyboard. “I have a couple more angles to capture, then we’ll be all done. How are you doing?”
“Barely hanging in there.”
“Just a couple more seconds, I promise.” She moved the wand in slow motion across my stomach, and I didn’t think I could take it anymore. “All done. I’ll get some of this gel off of you, then you can go to the restroom.”
She pulled out a towel and wiped across my stomach once before I knew I had to get up. “That’s good, I have to go, bad, right now.” She helped me sit up, and I walked as fast as I could to get across the room and into the bathroom.
When I walked out, I breathed many sighs of relief. It had never felt so good to pee.
“Come on over and have a seat. I have a picture for you.”
I almost came out of my skin. I was going to find out. And I had a picture so I could show Jeff our baby. I sat next to Mom and crossed my legs at my ankles.
“This picture is for you.” She handed me the small square of film. “And you’re having a boy; congratulations.”
A boy.
A son.
Our son.
My eyes welled up and, as hard as I had tried not to allow it, a tear slid down my cheek.
Chapter 16
“It’s a boy, baby! We’re going to have a son!” I screamed into the phone. I didn’t mean to scream, but when I heard him answer the phone, my emotions balled up in my throat and made it difficult to talk. I fought back most of the tears, but not all. I could hear him fighting to control his own emotions on the other end of the phone. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to see him.
“Oh my god! Really? A boy!” His voice cracked a little. “Baby, I’m so happy. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.”
“I have to go, but I’m so happy you called. I’ll call you later this evening.”
“Okay, bye.”
Mom was driving, which was a good thing for me.
“So I take it he’s pretty happy?” Mom laughed as she reached out and rubbed her hand down my arm.
“Yeah, he is.” I sighed. “You know, I didn’t think he would warm up to having a baby as quickly as he did.”
“Why would you say that? Why wouldn’t he?”
I wanted to slap myself. I didn’t mean to say that, especially not to my mom. “Well, he just wasn’t sure if he’d want kids, but that was when we had first begun dating. We didn’t really talk about it too much again after that.”
“I’m sure his mother will be happy to know she’s going to have a grandson.”
“Yeah, I’m sure she will. She was happy just to hear she was going to be a grandmother.” I shifted in my seat and turned slightly toward my mom. “How do you feel, Mom? Are you happy?”
“Sweetie, I’m happy as long as you are. I only want you to be happy.” She looked at me, then turned her gaze back to the road. “Maybe I was wrong about Jeff. He seems to be a wonderful husband. He’s not a lost soul anymore.”
As soon as Mom made that statement, I remembered back to the day we were in the park. Jim, her, and I were there together, and she had told me there was a lost soul out there, and when he found me, he wouldn’t be lost anymore. I leaned my head back on the headrest and smiled; a warmth rushed through my body as I wrapped my arms around my stomach, hugging my bundle of joy.
My son.
Our son.
Jeff
I sat in the conference room, not focusing on work. I saw their mouths moving, but not one word they were saying was registering in my brain. I tried like hell to concentrate, but I kept finding myself looking down at my cell-phone on the table off to the side of my notepad. At least I had told them I was expecting an urgent phone call and I’d have to take it.
My heart raced when my phone rang and Nikki’s name displayed on my phone. I took in a deep breath, picked up my phone, excused myself, and walked quickly out of the conference room.
“Hey, Nikki.” I couldn’t tell if I had cleared the doorway or not and thought it would be better to use her name since I was at a client site.
“It’s a boy, baby! We’re going to have a son!” she screamed into my ear.
I closed my eyes as I stood against the wall by the elevator, out of sight. I could feel tears welling up behind my eyelids. My heart was beating so hard I could feel the pounding radiating through every inch of my body.
“Oh my god! Really? A boy!” I opened my eyes, took in a deep breath, and then sighed, trying to suppress the need to jump up and down while I screamed at the top of my lungs, Fuck yeah, motherfuckers! We’re having a boy! “Baby, I’m so happy. I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.” I knew her voice well enough, and I knew she was crying. I was on the brink of losing my shit, too. God, I wished I was there to wrap her in my arms, just to hold her close to me. We could shed tears of joy together. I couldn’t even explain the feeling that was running through me.
“I have to go, but I’m so happy you called. I’ll call you later this evening.”
“Okay, bye.”
I wanted to tell the world; I wanted to shout to everyone. I wanted to dance around like a madman. I stood there for another couple of seconds before I walked back down the hall to the conference room. My steps were slow, hesitant. I wanted to turn on my heels and run the fuck out of there, drive to the airport and fly home, where I belonged. But I had to finish this. If we could get almost everything taken care of today, I could leave tonight. Blake could handle the rest, without me.
I had gathered myself pretty good as I reached for the door handle to enter the conference room.
“I apologize for that, but I had to take that call.” I couldn’t stop smiling.
“No worries; we hope everything is okay.”
“Everything is great.” I sighed. “Everything is perfect.” I hadn’t realized how wide my smile had grown or how utterly foolish I must have appeared to them all until I looked up and saw everyone staring at me with varying expressions of confusion. Even Blake. She looked at me with her lopsided smile, and eyes that wanted to know what was going on.
“So where were we?” I spoke up to get everyone’s attention back onto the discussion we had started. I was on a mission to get this wrapped up, or as close to wrapped up as possible, by five o’clock.
We continued our discussions. We took a half hour break for lunch, then we got right back on-topic. I really hated these on-the-fly problem-solving meetings. If they knew there were problems, they should have said something. I could have had someone, anyone else, come with me besides Blake. Someone more technical. I’d have preferred that anyway. Maybe that was why Sandy was co
ming out originally; he was far more technical than Blake.
By the time we ended our meeting, the clients were happy. Well, almost happy, but Blake could finish things up the next day. I called my manager and told him how things were progressing and told him I wanted to leave that night instead of the next night. Once I explained why, he congratulated me, told me to get out of there, and to kiss Nikki for him. I sure as shit planned to kiss her, but not for him. Maybe before the night was over, I’d give her a little peck on the cheek from him. I hung back in the conference room and called the travel agent and told her to get my flight changed. Now I just had to wait for the text message with the revised itinerary.
When we got back to the hotel, I told Blake I was leaving. That didn’t sit too well, but I really didn’t give a damn. She tried to pretend like she wasn’t sure she could get things wrapped up without me. I had dealt with that excuse from her before. The hard part was done. She had very little to finish, and there was no way I was hanging around to do that when she was more than capable of handling it.
I rushed up to my room and packed up all my shit in record-breaking time. I sat on the edge of the perfectly made bed, with one arm resting on my suitcase while tapping my foot. Just then I realized, I hadn’t changed my clothes. I still had my suit on.
My phone lit up like a Christmas tree with the text saying my flight was leaving in two hours. Barely time to get to the airport and through security.
Fuck it. I hated flying in a suit, but I wasn’t changing. I just wanted to go home and see my baby doll. There was no way I was missing that flight.
From the time I left the hotel in that cab, to the time I pulled up in my driveway, everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. But I was finally home. I jumped out of the car and ran to the front door, unlocked it, and stepped into a dark house. I kicked off my shoes and walked up the back stairs quietly so I didn’t wake Nikki or Abby.
I opened the bedroom door and closed it behind me. Taking off that suit was long fucking overdue. I stripped down butt naked and walked over to the bed, sliding in under the sheets.
“Jeff?”
“Yeah, baby, it’s me. Go back to sleep.”
I curled my body around hers, snaking my arm around her round belly, holding her and my son tight to me. My son. I inhaled a deep whiff of her scent. I loved her smell, no body spray. Just that clean freshly showered smell topped off with cocoa butter body lotion. I felt her sink her back against my chest and I knew -- our life was perfect.
Chapter 17
I had come to hate the size of my body. Nothing I put on was flattering. Two weeks had gone by, and I felt like I was the size of a house. My whole body was so big for being seven months pregnant; bigger than when I was pregnant with Abby. I felt as miserable and fat as that reflection that stared back at me in the mirror looked.
“Babe, come on,” Jeff hollered at me from downstairs.
I was dragging my feet on purpose. I didn’t want to go. That was the bottom line. “I’ll be down in a couple of minutes,” I hollered back down as I jerked a yellow sun-dress out of the closet from its hanger and slowly drug it on over my head. It looked like a ten-man life raft draped over my shoulders. I looked hideous.
I went in the bathroom and saturated myself in my Be Enchanted body spray. I didn’t know why. Habit, probably. Or maybe I just wanted to at least have one thing positive going for myself. I slid on my yellow slide-on sandals with the flower embellishment that I couldn’t even see anymore, then headed downstairs to go to this godforsaken picnic.
“You look beautiful, baby.”
Fuck off. Don’t patronize me. “Thanks. I feel like a whale.”
“I hate when you do that. Don’t put yourself down.” He walked over and wrapped his arms around my huge body. “At least you don’t smell like one. You really do love torturing me with that smell, don’t you?”
“What do you mean?”
“You know damn well what I mean.” He pulled my hand down to feel his growing bulge. “I should take you upstairs and finish what you just started.”
“I thought you were in a hurry to leave?” How the hell is he even thinking of sex? Jeez, does he see me?
“I think if we’re a little late, no one will notice.” He pulled me in tighter and bent down; his lips grazed mine, his tongue swiped between my lips, and his hands began manipulating the dress to raise it.
I broke our kiss. “Let’s wait until we get back.” I had on my huge, pregnant, granny panties that I thought would be a total mood killer. Somewhere between last month and this month, I had blown up like Violet from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
“If that’s what you want, then fine, I’ll wait. I don’t like it, but I’ll honor your wish.” He adjusted his cock, moving it around, while I pulled my dress back down and made sure it was on straight.
“We can go if you’re ready.” He picked up his keys off the hook of the key hanger by the door. I may not have had any of my furniture in the house, but I was finding small ways to add my touch.
I picked up my purse, made sure my cell phone was in it, and let him know I was ready.
The drive was quiet. I couldn’t help but think how bitchy it had been to lead him on then shut him down. I knew good and well what that spray would do to him. I had done the same thing a few times in the past couple months. I just looked fucked up, and I felt anything but attractive. My feet always swelled in the evenings, and I was so tired. I enjoyed sex, when we eventually got to it. The problem was getting there. Maybe if I didn’t resemble May Belle the cow, I’d have felt different.
I snapped out of my self-loathing when Jeff turned into the driveway of a beautiful chalet home. Once he stopped the car and turned it off, he leaned over to me, held me by my nape, and pulled me to him, our mouths crashing together. When he released me, he stared into my eyes. “Later baby, that pussy will belong to me. I won’t take no for an answer. I need to feel you. Tell me you want me, too.”
“Of course I do. I’m looking forward to it.” I really wasn’t, but I knew I couldn’t deny him again. I didn’t even have Abby to use as an excuse.
He walked around and helped me out of the car, then, holding my hand, we walked up to the front door and he pressed the doorbell.
In just a couple seconds, the door opened. My mouth dropped. What in the motherfucking fuck? It was her.
“Jeff.” This stunning woman, with a perfect, tight body sang out my husband’s name as she practically jumped out of the doorway at him. She slithered her arms around his neck in a way-too-tight embrace. She stepped back and took me in, and her eyes uncomfortably roamed my expansive figure. “And you must be Nikki. It’s nice to meet you.” Her voice was cold when she spoke to me. I hated her.
I had no idea who she was, but I didn’t like the hug and didn’t like her eye-balling me like that. I tried very hard not to let it show on my face. I plastered on a strained smile and extended my hand to shake hers. I wanted to rip this bitch’s arm out of its socket.
Jeff placed his hand at the small of my back. “Baby, this is Blake.”
Hold the God damn phone! What the fuck did he just say? This is Blake? Blake is a female? My heart-beat sped up. I felt so heated, I thought I was going to pass out. I know my reaction had to have shown on my face. She took a step back, and Jeff stepped closer to me, wrapping his arm around my back.
Jesus fucking Christ. I rubbed my cheek with my right hand as I inhaled deeply. I wasn’t going to cause a scene, but all I could think was, What in the actual fuck? I forced my words through clenched teeth trying to hide my seething. “It’s nice to meet you, Blake.” We shook with limp hands. “Do you have any water? My throat is really dry.” Can you drown a bitch in a glass of water? I’ll bet I could right now.
I remembered her being in Jeff’s house for his party when he proposed. I distinctly remembered the claim of an eyelash in her eye when she was in the kitchen and she asked to see my ring. But what was gnawing at my insides right here, righ
t now, were the many times Jeff was out of town, rushing me off the phone because he and Blake were going to get something to eat or going out with clients. My heart plummeted into my stomach. Blake and I, Blake and I …
Now I saw Blake was a beautiful, tall woman with piercing blue eyes. Not a man, as I had thought. And her eyes had lit up like a fucking Christmas tree when she saw Jeff at her front door. The sight of him made her come to life. The same eyes that dulled when she looked at me.
Fat, pregnant me.
“Sure, come in the kitchen. We have everything.” She turned on her heels.
Before I took my first step, Jeff had his arm around my neck, had kissed my left cheek, and asked, “Are you all right?”
Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? Do I fucking look all right? “We’ll talk later. But the short answer is no. No, I’m not fucking all right.” I hissed as quietly as I could. I yanked my way out of his hold and waddled in the direction Blake had disappeared.
Once in the kitchen, she handed me a bottle of water, then motioned to a man who was clearly involved in a conversation. He excused himself and joined us.
“Jeff and Nikki, this is my husband, Jason. Well, Jeff, you already know him.”
This couldn’t be happening. This just fucking couldn’t be happening. This Jason couldn’t possibly be Jack’s brother. What were the odds? Jack had told me that his brother worked at the same company as Jeff.
“It’s nice to meet you.” I extended my hand to his.
Jeff stood in his alpha stance, feet wide and arms folded across his chest. Why was he posturing? “Jase.” Maybe I had jumped to conclusions that this might be Jack’s brother.
Without warning, arms wrapped around me from behind. “Hey, beautiful.” It was Connor. He turned me to face him, and I had to do everything in my power to fight back the tears that wanted to fall. “You look more and more stunning every time I see you, Nikki.”
Jaded By Desire (Lust, Desire, and Love Trilogy Book 2) Page 13