Jaded By Desire (Lust, Desire, and Love Trilogy Book 2)

by Cox, Desiree A.

  When I started dating Nikki, the green-eyed monster reared her ugly head and tried every trick in the book. I shunned every advance she attempted. Eventually, she got engaged to Jason. I never even knew they had gone out. Perhaps she thought I’d be jealous and that would get me back, but I had fallen in love with Nikki by then. I always knew Jason was weak and pathetic, but for him to fall into her web proved it. She was never getting her claws in me again.

  Now this brazen bitch practically threw herself at me in her own house, in her bedroom, with her husband, whom she admitted she didn’t love, not far away. In front of my wife. She had no regard for her own marriage or mine.

  What was confusing me right now was who the fuck had told Nikki I had slept with that she-devil? Whoever it was, they obviously didn’t know everything where Blake was concerned, which was a good thing. I could only hope nothing else from my past would be dragged to the surface.

  My baby doll was like a piece of fine China. She was fragile. She needed to be shielded. The slightest little bump could knock her off balance and break her. I couldn’t bear the thought of that.

  Chapter 21

  Before Jeff left for his next stint out of town, he had insisted I give serious thought to hiring someone to come in to help watch Abby, and help me around the house. He told me I could have someone live there if I felt comfortable with them. He thought that would be better than just someone to come in daily. I really didn’t think I needed someone long-term. At most, I thought just long enough to help out while I was on leave.

  I placed an advertisement on that Monday morning, and the next day, I received a call from a woman named Estelle. She sounded older, but it’s hard to tell over the phone. She was going to meet Abby and me at McDonald’s. I didn’t want her to come to the house until I had a chance to see her and feel her out. I also wanted her to see how energetic Abby was. If I got a weird vibe from her, I’d keep looking.

  My meeting with Estelle was, um, interesting – not! As I had suspected, she was an older woman. She told me she was sixty-nine years old. I admired her willingness to work, to watch a toddler, but she was visibly agitated watching Abby run back and forth between the play area and me. She kept looking like she wanted to say something each time Abby ran up to the table. She also sat in her seat clutching her purse like it was her lifeline.

  I thanked her and told her I would be in touch by the end of the week. I already knew there was no way she would be the person to watch Abby, but didn’t want to tell her that while we were in public. I’d give her a call on Friday and let her know my decision.

  As soon as Abby and I got in the car, my phone rang. It was another person answering my ad. She asked if we could meet that same night. She was out running errands and would meet anywhere I chose. I was put on the spot; I really wanted to go home. Instead, I told her I would meet her at the mall, since that was one of the stops she rattled off that she had to make a trip to.

  Abby and I parked and walked in and made our way to the food court. I described myself to Jessica, and she told me what she was wearing. I felt like a creeper when a woman walked by dressed similarly to what was described, but it wasn’t her. The woman looked at me like I was violating her with a glance. Bitch.

  “I want to go home, Mommy.”

  “I know, baby, we’ll be leaving soon.”

  “I want to go now.”

  “Don’t do that, please. I don’t want to hear you whining.”

  I was saved when a stranger dressed exactly as described walked up to me. “Nikki?”

  “Hi. Yes, I’m Nikki. And you must be Jessica?” I stood to greet her.

  “Hi, yes, I’m Jessica. And this must be Abby.”

  “That’s her; she’s not shy, though.” Abby had her face buried in my arm, peeking around slightly at Jessica.

  “Hi, Abby.” Jessica smiled. She was young.

  Abby gave Jessica a small wave.

  “How old are you?”

  Abby held up four fingers.

  “Do you talk yet?”

  “Yeah!” Abby screamed and began laughing.

  “Thanks for meeting with me on such short notice, Nikki.”

  We sat in the mall and talked for nearly an hour. I explained what I was looking for and the limited time we would need her. She was fine with all of that. I asked her if she was opposed to living in our home during the time she’d be helping with the kids, and she wasn’t since her lease was coming to an end. I told her we might consider extending the time for the position, but that hadn’t been decided yet. I’m not sure why I said that.

  Jessica was twenty-one years old. She was in school for nursing, but felt it really wasn’t the desired career path after getting half way through the curriculum. Her parents were livid and not thrilled about her coming home. She loved children, and Abby really was drawn to her when we met.

  I told her I’d need to have a background check done and would let her know hopefully by the end of the week. I really liked her.

  We kept wine and hard liquor in the house, so I needed to make sure the person I hired was of legal drinking age. Also, I heard too many stories of husbands cheating with nannies. Not that Jeff was around much, but when he was, I didn’t want him looking at anyone else lustfully except me. Maybe that was another reason I liked Jessica. She wasn’t super pretty and she didn’t have a slim body, but she was such a nice person. I don’t want him to be tempted by anyone. One woman like Blake to deal with was more than enough for me.

  I was surprised I had only received two other phone calls about the advertisement. The interviews over the phone eliminated both of them, and we never met in person. I knew in my heart, Jessica was the right person.

  On Friday morning, I received a call from one of the attorneys Jeff had suggested with the results of Jessica’s background check. Her background was squeaky clean, so I asked her to come over on Saturday to the house. She could see where we lived and meet Jeff.

  When she arrived on Saturday, Abby was glued to the television, watching Sponge Bob cartoons. Jeff and I were sitting in the kitchen. We both had agreed we would not make a decision while she was in the house. We sat and talked to her for about twenty minutes before Jeff decided he’d had enough and announced he was going to take a drive to Connor’s place. He grabbed a handful of my hair, tilted my head back, and kissed me. I loved when he pulled my hair. I never wanted any other man to pull my hair, but Jeff could without any objection from me. He released my mouth, grabbed his keys and disappeared through the front door.

  Jessica and I talked for a few more minutes. Before she left, I assured her I would let her know our decision by Monday.

  Jeff and I agreed to hire her. He didn’t say much about her, but he asked a lot of questions to make sure I was really ready to pull the trigger. He told me we should draw up a contract to make sure the estimated date to end her time with us was clearly spelled out and she knew to find another job and another place to live by then.

  He wanted me to seriously consider keeping Jessica until the baby was a year old, but I wasn’t ready to make that long of a commitment. In two or three months, I could come to hate having her around, or she could change her mind about babysitting for us. I wanted to make sure we all still got along before extending the length of the job.

  After Jeff left for his trip, I gave Estelle a call and let her know we had selected another candidate. Immediately, I called Jessica. She was ecstatic. I’m pretty sure she was jumping up and down wherever she was. She sure as hell squealed in my ear.

  We agreed to her moving in on the weekend after I found out she was living with a friend.

  Chapter 22

  The more I thought about having someone come in the house to watch Abby, the more I thought it was a complete waste of money. And pretty damned ridiculous. I was more than capable of taking care of my own child.

  I sat at my desk and shrugged my shoulders and shook my head as I pulled up the next account. I had two more weeks until my due date. My goal
was to get everything done so when Robert stepped in to take over, he would start with a clean slate.

  With everything that had been going on, I was surprised I hadn’t made any mistakes that would have had Jack running to my desk or calling me into his office. I was happy, but surprised.

  “You’ve been really elusive lately.”

  I looked up from my monitor into Georgia’s prying eyes. “Hey. I don’t mean to be. You know, it’s just getting really hectic.”

  “I’ll take your word for it. I’ve never had the first-hand experience of being pregnant, married, and all that other jazz.”

  “Yeah, the scare of going into labor early had Jeff in a tailspin. We just hired a short-term nanny to come in and help out.”

  “That’s not a bad idea. When you come home from having the baby, she can help get Abby off to school and pick her up. Plus, you can get some sleep because you’re going to need it.”

  “You’re right. I guess I didn’t think about all of that. She will be more beneficial after I have the baby.”

  “Are we going to lunch today? We need to catch up.”

  “Absolutely; let’s go.”

  “I’ll make sure to get Candace, and we can head out at noon.”

  “Sounds good. Stop by when you guys are ready.”

  “Sure will.”

  It was noon before I knew it. Candace and Georgia walked up and were standing by my desk, waiting for me to lock up my computer and get my purse.

  “Hey Momma. Are you ready to go?” Candace asked.

  “I am; let’s go.”

  We walked down the hall to the elevator, then made our way out of the building and across the street. We were on a mission to get some pizza. My food choices were mainly pizza and McDonald’s. No wonder I had gained nearly fifty pounds already. With two more weeks, I would easily top fifty. That was a depressing thought. There wasn’t anything I could do at this point to lessen the weight gain, though. I just had to prepare to work really hard to get the weight off after the baby was born.

  “Have you and Jeff given any idea to names?” Candace asked.

  “I have, but I haven’t talked to Jeff yet. I don’t want to say anything until we talk and he agrees.”

  “Just tell us what names you’ve been thinking about,” Georgia prodded.

  “I’ve given some thought to Jeffrey Jr., Sam, Aiden, Collin, Bryson, Chase, and Alexander.”

  “Oh, those are all nice names. It’s going to be hard to pick from them,” Candace said.

  “Thanks. I’ll make sure you guys know as soon as we make a final decision.”

  “Cool. And you’re working all the way up until you have the baby?” Candace asked.

  “Yep. I want to have all of my maternity leave after I have the baby, not waste days before sitting around the house watching daytime television.”

  “I can’t say I blame you. I’d do it the same way if it were me. It would suck to take off based on your due date, then find out you don’t have the baby for two more weeks.”

  “Jeez, Georgia, don’t jinx me like that. I shuddered at the thought of being pregnant for another four weeks, ugh. I’m so ready for him to evacuate the premises.” We all laughed.

  “Were you on-time or late with Abby?” Georgia asked.

  “I was a day beyond the due date with her. I can only hope to be that close this time around.”

  “We better get back. We can’t let you get in trouble before going out.” I laughed at Georgia. I doubted very much that I’d get in trouble for being a couple minutes late getting back from lunch, but I didn’t want to get back late anyway. I had a stack of work to get done.

  ****

  The weekend was upon us before we knew it. I had met with Jessica on Thursday after work so we could review the contract and get her signature. Jessica called early Saturday morning to let me know she was on her way. Her call came earlier than I had expected, but I didn’t mind getting an early start to the day. Abby woke up and ran down the stairs. Miss Nosy. She was excited to see Jessica and couldn’t wait to take her up to show her the room she would stay in. She was going to be on the other side of Abby, away from our bedroom.

  It was great Jessica didn’t have any large items or furniture to move. We had a bedroom set in the room she would stay in. She came in with a few suitcases and a couple duffle bags full of clothes.

  Once she got all of her things up to her room, I took her on a full tour of the house. Abby tagged along behind us.

  “This house is so amazing.” We made our way back into the kitchen where I started a pot of coffee.

  “Thanks. Do you have any questions for me at all?”

  “No, nothing that I can think of.”

  “Jeff will be home later this morning. He’s done traveling until about a month after I have the baby.” I was very happy that he wouldn’t be traveling for a while. The transfer for that she-devil Blake hadn’t been finalized. I hated that she was still on the road with Jeff. No matter what he wanted to think, I knew she still had a thing for him. The thought of them being away for three or four days really bugged the hell out of me. I could see her subtly flirting and throwing herself at him. I wished I had never met her.

  “Okay. Maybe you can tell me some things you’d like me to do. Or things you expect from me. I don’t want to disappoint you guys. I want to be as helpful as I can.”

  “I think a lot of your assistance is going to be needed when I go to the hospital and when I come back home. Sky, my ex-husband and Abby’s father, takes her every other weekend. If I’m in the hospital over a weekend, he’s going to take her during that time. I’m going to need you to make sure she gets to day care and back during the week, though. Monday, I’ll make sure your name is on the list of approved people to pick her up and drop her off.”

  “Will you need help with cooking? I love to cook.”

  “Jeff will need you to cook; he is very limited in the kitchen.”

  “How about cleaning? I can do the housecleaning starting now.” She looked around. “But there isn’t a whole lot to do; the place is pretty clean.”

  “There’s a cleaning service that comes in every other week. They do a pretty thorough job, but if you can help make sure things are kept picked up, that would be great. Abby knows how to pick up her own toys. She doesn’t like it, but she knows how, and she should be made to do it instead of you doing it for her.”

  “Okay, that’s no problem. Oh, grocery shopping. Do you want me to do that?”

  “Sure, that would be great.”

  The more I sat and talked to Jessica about what she should do, the more ridiculous I felt having her here. I know Jeff was looking out for me when he said to find someone, but the amount of work I was able to delegate to her didn’t seem significant enough to justify hiring her. At least I wasn’t paying her an exorbitant amount of money. Her agreeing to live in for the few months reduced the weekly pay.

  We sat and chatted for another hour or so. I was so tired, even the caffeine couldn’t keep my eyes open.

  “If you want to go lie back down, I can watch Abby.”

  “You don’t mind?”

  “That’s what you’re paying me for. I may as well earn my keep, right?”

  “Thanks. I have been so tired with this pregnancy. I wasn’t like this with Abby.”

  “It happens. My sister was like that with her youngest. She couldn’t get enough sleep. Don’t worry, I’ll get her fed and we’ll be fine.”

  “Well, I’m going to take you up on your offer. When Jeff comes home --.” I stood from my chair.

  “I’ll let him know you’re lying down.”

  “Abby, be good for Miss Jessica, okay?”

  “Yes, Mommy, I’ll be good.”

  “I’ll see you guys later.” I walked up the steps to my room. I closed the door and pulled off my clothes, then slid in under the sheet.

  I felt the bed sink on Jeff’s side, then I felt the warmth of his body pressed against my back. His arm wrapped a
round my body, and his hand rubbed my belly. He moved my hair, and I felt his warm breath on my neck, sending chills down my spine. I loved when he crept in the bed with me and held me tight to him.

  I rolled over and felt the sheet and pillow were still warm on Jeff’s side of the bed, but he was gone. I sat up, slid my feet over to the floor and stood to get dressed and go downstairs.

  “Where are you going?” Jeff’s voice startled me.

  “I thought you had left the room.”

  “No, baby doll, I just had to piss.” He stalked over toward me and stopped right in front of me. He cupped my head in his hands and leaned in to kiss me. I melted into him. I loved having him at home. And to think -- I’d be wrapped in his arms every night for the next six weeks.

  Chapter 23

  A couple of weeks after Jessica moved in with us, my water broke, and I was taken to the hospital. I was quickly admitted and moved into a room. My contractions hadn’t even started yet, but they got the IV going, and the anesthesiologist was ready to begin Pitocin to induce me, if needed. Poor Jeff sat helplessly quiet and watched the nurses come in and out of the room to gather additional information.

  The monitors were hooked up to me to collect statistics on everything. I didn’t realize I was considered a high-risk pregnancy until then. Evidently, because I had gone into labor early, that afforded me the new label. My obstetrician was also concerned that the baby was near ten pounds, if not a little more.

  Since I was not making good progress with labor on my own after an hour being in my room, they went ahead and induced me.

  It took about an hour after they gave me the medicine before the alarm rang on the blood pressure monitor to notify the nurses. There was a dangerous spike in my numbers that I was told not only threatened my life if they didn’t get it lowered, but it was a concern for the baby. When I asked what their comments meant, I was told it could mean the baby was in distress or that something else may be going on. The nurses tried to move me onto my side to help drop my numbers back to normal, or at least closer to normal. Within thirty minutes, the numbers decreased, but not enough to satisfy the doctor.