Jeff sat by my side, rubbing my hand. “Baby, do you feel stressed? Are you okay?”
“Well, yeah, duh, I am now,” I snapped at him. I didn’t mean to take it out on him. I knew he was just concerned. “They tell me something may be going on with the baby; that’s pretty fucking stressful. Before they said that, I felt fine. I had a headache, but other than that, I was okay.”
“The doctor will be in to check on you in a bit. We need to try to get your blood pressure down some more, if possible,” the nurse said as she wrote on my chart.
I was having a hard time staying up on my right side, so the nurse propped pillows behind my back before leaving us alone.
“I’m so thirsty.”
“Sorry, babe, you can’t have any water, only these ice chips.”
The contractions were picking up in intensity and frequency. They were about eight minutes apart when the doctor came back in my room.
“Well, Nikki, let’s check your blood pressure again.” He watched the monitor as the machine displayed the numbers. “Here’s my concern,” he began. “You’re blood pressure is abnormally high. Throughout your pregnancy, your blood pressure stayed pretty normal.”
“So what does that mean?” Jeff asked.
“We’re going to give Nikki some medication to try to lower the numbers. If they don’t drop in another half hour to an hour, we’ll talk about next steps. So before we get too excited, let’s see what we can do about getting them down.”
“Thanks.” I was getting nervous. I didn’t like the way this was going. The last thing I wanted was for something to happen to my baby. Our baby.
The nurse came back in with two small paper cups; one of them had two tablets, and the other had about a swallow of water.
I choked down the pills and laid back down. Jeff held my hand, and I whispered to him, “Now I’m feeling really stressed. I don’t like this at all.”
“Just try to stay calm, baby. Everything will be okay.” Jeff stood beside me, leaned over, and kissed my forehead. I could see the tension in his facial expression. He didn’t believe the words that said to me. He was every bit as stressed as I was.
It took the doctor about an hour to come back in to check on me. When he looked at the blood pressure readings, he cleared his throat, turned to look at me, and then quickly returned his gaze to the printout.
“We need to discuss options, now,” he said without turning to face us.
He pulled over a chair near my bed and sat. “Your blood pressure isn’t cooperating like I had hoped. Let’s discuss a C-section.”
A tear trickled down my temple. Fuck, I didn’t want to get cut.
“Are there any other options?” Jeff asked.
“We’ve tried the anti-anxiety meds, but they didn’t work. I’m afraid the longer we wait, the more compromised the baby could be. I wish there was another alternative, but unfortunately, there isn’t. I really don’t want to give more medications because everything we give Nikki does affect the baby.”
Jeff stroked my hand. I swallowed hard. I was choked up on this. Anything they had to do to make sure the baby was fine, I’d do it. I’d never be able to live with myself if anything happened to him.
Jeff looked at me, and I knew we were both thinking the same thing. Neither of us liked that option, but since there weren’t any other good choices, I had to do what I had to do.
“Fine, let’s do it.” I managed to squeeze the words out past the lump in my throat.
Jeff stood and kissed my dry, chapped lips. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you, too.”
A nurse came in and began prepping me for my surgery. Once they had me ready, they wheeled me down to an operating room. Jeff was at my side the entire time.
Alexander Jeffrey Carrington did not come into this world easily. It was a struggle the entire four hours of labor. It got so bad, I was begging them to hurry up and do the cesarean section to get him out of me. I had no idea how Jeff’s fingers weren’t broken from my excessive squeezing while I waited for the epidural to kick in. Yet, when the doctor confirmed it was a boy, we both shed tears of joy, and the pain I had endured was so worth it.
Jeff had immediately expressed his fear for Alexander’s health. The doctor assured him they were going to run tests and monitor him.
Mom was in the operating room with us as backup. I needed her there. I really didn’t know how much support I was going to get from Jeff, honestly. He had surprised me, though; he was there and eager to do whatever I needed.
We all had laughed when the doctor asked if he wanted to cut the cord. His reply was a drawn out, emphatic, no.
The nurses weighed the baby and announced he was ten pounds and seven ounces. He also measured twenty-four inches long. He was huge.
The doctor explained to us that the umbilical cord had been wrapped around Alexander’s neck. Natural childbirth could have been very dangerous for him. Tears streamed down Jeff’s face, which, in turn, caused my tears to flow even harder.
The nurse handed our wonderful little boy to Jeff. My mom took pictures of Jeff holding Alexander. It was the most precious sight ever.
“Baby. He’s perfect.” Jeff said. He couldn’t stop staring at Alexander.
I got to hold him for a few short minutes, then, they whisked our son away, and the emptiness left me feeling hollow.
Sky and Hope had called Mom to check on me and told her they we’re going to bring Abby up the next day so she could meet her baby brother. I wanted to see her, but I was exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to go to sleep.
I muttered to Jeff, “I love you.”
Jeff stroked my hair, then kissed my forehead and temple as my eyes closed.
Jeff
Nikki’s water broke at home. Luckily, she was standing in the kitchen on the tile floor. The doctor was on his way to the hospital while the nurses checked, poked, and prodded at her. And I breathed with her like she was taught during Lamaze classes. I got really lightheaded and thought I was going to pass the fuck out. I guess I should have paid more attention.
I sat in a chair beside the bed, quiet as a mouse, holding and stroking Nikki’s hand. Her agonizing moans in between erratic breaths during each painful contraction made me feel helpless. I would have given anything to take her pain onto myself, sparing her. My only comfort was knowing it would eventually be over.
Nikki’s mom and Jim arrived. Rebekka coddled and rubbed Nikki’s hair, smoothing it down and asked how she was doing and how far apart the contractions were. Just before Nikki replied, the doctor and nurse entered the room, asking everyone to please step out briefly so they could check her. I stayed. Fuck that. She’s my wife, and this was my baby.
When everyone returned, the doctor announced to them that Nikki was going to be given some meds for her blood pressure. He seemed pretty optimistic the meds would help, until he returned an hour later and the optimism had vanished. Jim let Rebekka know he was going to step out of the room and return to the waiting area. Rebekka showed concern for me; she said I looked exhausted.
“Neither of us slept well last night,” I told her. “The baby was kicking like crazy. It was when Nikki got up to get a drink of water that she screamed for me because her water broke.”
“You’ll both get plenty of time to sleep in about eighteen years.” Nikki’s mom chuckled.
“Nikki, it won’t be much longer, hang in there.” Her mom stroked her hair and face again.
“I can hardly take this shit anymore. And I couldn’t even get anything for the pain because the contractions are getting too close.” Tears streamed down Nikki’s face. I gently wiped them away with my hands.
The doctor and nurse returned once again to check Nikki’s progress. It wasn’t good. Her blood pressure was still too high, and they wanted to do a C-section. I wanted them to do whatever was best for both of my babies. I couldn’t take the thought of anything happening to either one of them.
Once Nikki gave the go-ahead, the nurse pu
lled the curtain and began prepping her. The nurse handed Rebekka and I our garments to change into.
They finished her up pretty quickly, then we headed down to the operating room. Nikki begged that both her mom and I be allowed to come in with her, which the nurse agreed to. I was going to be by Nikki’s side no matter what; hospital security couldn’t have gotten me away from her. She needed me. And I sure as fuck needed her. The nurse handed both of us our garments to change into as she prepared to get Nikki down the hall.
Shortly after we were led into the room for the delivery, we heard her scream, “Just get this baby out of me already!” We both looked at each other and smiled. The anesthesiologist was at the ready, shushing her, telling her to hold still and not to scream so she could rid her of her pain.
After they gave Nikki the shot in her spine, it didn’t take long.
“Congratulations, it’s a boy!” the doctor announced.
Nikki and I just stared at each other, and tears streamed down both of our faces. We knew we were having a son, but something about that announcement from the doctor shook me to the core.
I had never been happier. I was a dad. We were parents; we had a son. I confirmed and reconfirmed that he was healthy, with ten fingers and ten toes. The tears continued to stream down our faces, and Nikki’s mom was equally ecstatic.
“A grandson,” she sighed out.
The nurse announced his weight and height. Alexander was a big boy. He weighed in at ten pounds seven ounces, and he was twenty-four inches tall, two feet already. That was my boy.
The doctor explained to us that Alexander had the cord around his neck and told us what could have happened if he had been delivered naturally. My heart stopped. I felt gutted. I could have lost my son. The tears fell.
I would have felt ashamed any other time to be seen crying so much, but this was a special situation. One I had never thought in a million years I’d be experiencing.
When I held my son in my arms, and looked at his face, my heart was full of more love than I’ve ever known. The one thing I said I didn’t want was the one thing I now wanted more than anything else in the world.
After talking with Nikki for a few minutes more, Nikki’s mom suggested I go get some sleep, then return in a couple hours. She was going to leave as well, but would make sure to come back up the next day. That would also give my beautiful wife, the love of my life, a chance to get some rest.
I couldn’t leave her all alone here, though. I planned to go to sleep in her room, while she slept, and then, when her mom came back, I’d leave.
Chapter 24
The doctor came into the recovery room the morning after the baby was born with a frown on his face. His eyebrows were furrowed, and he walked over to the edge of my bed, next to Jeff.
“Well, I have some good news and some concerns to share with you both.” I took in a deep breath. The doctor reached his hand out and laid it on Jeff’s shoulder. “We don’t have any sign of jaundice in Alexander. And for the most part, everything looks good.”
The doctor dropped his hands and slid them in his jacket pocket, rattling his keys or change, or whatever was in there.
“I’m not sure how much we need to worry about this right now, but we’ve detected a mild arrhythmia. I don’t want this to be too alarming to you, though; sometimes they will go away as children age. But we definitely want to keep a close eye on him and monitor him monthly, after you’re back home. We’ll keep watching him while he’s here, hoping for signs of improvement, and we’ll talk to you before you leave.”
I looked up at Jeff and saw that his face had lost all hint of color; he was as white as a ghost. I felt completely helpless.
“When can we see him?” I asked. I’m sure Jeff wanted to know the same.
“We will finish the couple remaining tests and get him right down to you.”
“Thank you.”
“Try not to worry; we’ll make sure little, well, I mean not so little, Alexander, is well taken care of.” The doctor chuckled at his light-hearted pun. “We have a pediatric cardiologist who will come in to see him. Once they run their tests, we should have a better idea what we are facing and how we should proceed.”
Jeff stood still like a statue.
Jeff
My heart stopped when the doctor said Alexander had an arrhythmia. What in the fucking fuck? How is that shit fair to my baby? An innocent baby?
I couldn’t take it if anything happened to him. I loved him so much my own heart hurt. As much as the doctor wanted to keep us calm, my mind was racing a mile a minute, and not with good thoughts.
Nikki was doing a whole lot better than I was. Her strength was amazing. Me, I was reduced to a puddle of mush. I felt like if I moved at all, I’d collapse. I felt like I needed to get out of there, but I couldn’t leave her. I didn’t dare leave her, not all alone, not now.
“Baby, I think when your mom comes up, I’m going to leave for a bit.”
“That’s fine. I’ll be here when you come back. Are you okay?”
“I’m not sure right now. I can’t believe he has a problem.”
“Well, baby, try not to get too upset yet. I want to hear what the cardiologist has to say.”
“Yeah.” I heard her talking, but I didn’t have her ability to remain calm. I wanted to punch the fuck out of something.
Nikki looked at her phone when it beeped. “You know, if you want to take off, you can; my mom is on her way.”
“I think I will. I’ll be back in a couple hours.” I bent and kissed her forehead. “I love you, baby.”
“I love you, too.”
****
I drove to see my mother. I needed to talk to her. My mind was stuck on the doctor’s words: we’ve detected an arrhythmia. I slammed my hand on the steering wheel. Fuck! What if it turned out to not be mild like they thought? What if it was life-threatening? What if he needed heart surgery, or worse, nothing could be done for him? The tears were building up in my eyes, and I shook my head as I continued to drive to Mom’s house.
I pulled into her driveway and slammed the car into park, then jumped out and walked up to her door. I knocked briskly, and the door was opened right away.
“Hey, Jeff, what brings you by? Where’s Nikki?”
“Hi Karen, is Mom here?”
“She’s in the kitchen.”
“Come on, I’ll tell you both the good news at the same time.” Karen was like a sister to me. I didn’t have any siblings, but we got really close when she started taking care of Mom.
She followed me into the kitchen. I walked over and hugged Mom and kissed her cheek. “Hi, Mom.”
“Hi, darling, how are you doing? No Nikki today?”
“Well, that’s actually the good news. Nikki is in the hospital. She had the baby. I was going to call you, but I really wanted to come deliver the good news in person. Congratulations, you’re a grandmother.”
Mom’s lip quivered even as she smiled. “Congratulations, but shouldn’t you be with her?”
“Her mom is there. I’ll go back up after I shower and eat.”
“Tell me about the baby. What name did you guys pick? How much did he weigh? How long was he? And what time was he born?” By the time she finished the onslaught of questions, she was teary-eyed.
“Alexander Jeffrey was ten pounds seven ounces and twenty-four inches long. A whole two feet, can you believe it, mom? He’s huge and he was born just after five am. That was why I didn’t call.”
“You can call me anytime of the day, you know that.” She waved her hand in the air dismissing my excuse. “Alexander, I like that name. I can’t wait to see him.”
“They’ll be in the hospital for a few more days. Nikki had to have a C-section. Her blood pressure shot up and –” I choked on my words.
I could feel my emotions balling up in my throat. I walked over to the cupboard to retrieve a glass. I needed something to drink. I’d have loved nothing more than a stiff shot of whiskey, but Mom didn’t keep
alcohol in the house. Just as well, especially today.
“Is everything okay, Jeffrey?”
I turned to get the pitcher of juice out of the refrigerator and half-filled my glass.
“Can I get you something to eat?” Karen asked.
“Sure, thanks, Karen.” I sat down at the table with Mom.
“Tell me what’s going on, dear. You have worry all over your face and that’s scaring me.”
I set my elbows on the table and buried my face in my hands. “Oh, Mom,” I muttered into my hands.
I dragged my hands down my face, wiping the tears from my eyes. “I -- I --”
She reached over and held my hand in hers. “Darling, is everything okay with Nikki and the baby?”
“Nikki’s fine. It’s Alexander.” I dropped my head. “I’m so scared right now, I don’t know what to do or what to think.”
“What happened to him?”
“The doctor said they detected an arrhythmia.” I slammed my fist on the table. “Jesus, Mom, I’m so scared that this will end up being bad.” The tears were streaming down my face. My heart was crumbling. “I couldn’t take it if anything happened to him.” I sniffed and wiped the tears from my face just as a plate was set in front of me.
I wasn’t hungry. How could I eat?
“Sweetheart, are there any specialists looking at him?”
“They have a pediatric cardiologist coming in to look at him. The doctor said not to get too upset, but he’s my son. How am I supposed to not get upset?”
“Jeffrey, you need to try to calm down and stay positive. Just wait until you hear what they say. Everything is going to be fine. You’ll see.”
Mom patted my hand. “Eat your food, dear; you need your strength. You have to be strong for Nikki.”
Chapter 25
By the time Jeff returned to the hospital, Gary and his wife were sitting in my room. He and his family had planned to come home in a couple weeks, but figured this was the perfect time. He wanted to stop by to see me and meet their new nephew, my son, Alexander. They came directly to the hospital instead of going to our mother’s house. It was just as well, since Mom was still at the hospital with me. Mom sat in the waiting area with their twins, but Bianca came in with them to see me.
Jaded By Desire (Lust, Desire, and Love Trilogy Book 2) Page 17