I, Lalla

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I, Lalla Page 8

by Lal Ded


  66

  (66 & 67 are companion vākhs)

  Who’s the garland-maker, who’s his wife?

  What flowers will they pluck to offer Him?

  With what water will they sprinkle Him?

  With what chant will they wake the deepest Self?

  67

  The mind’s the garland-maker, his wife the desire for bliss.

  They will pluck flowers of adoration to offer Him.

  They will sprinkle Him with the moon’s dripping nectar.

  They will wake the deepest Self with the chant of silence.

  68

  I, Lalla, came through the gate of my soul’s jasmine garden

  and found Shiva and Shakti there, locked in love!

  Drunk with joy, I threw myself into the lake of nectar.

  Who cares if I’m a dead woman walking!

  69

  Prune the weeds from your heart’s garden

  and the narcissus will bloom for you.

  When you die, they’ll want all your ledgers and journals.

  Look out! Here comes Death, chasing you like a tax-collector.

  70

  (70 & 71 are companion vākhs)

  I can’t believe this happened to me!

  A hoopoe cut off my claws with his beak.

  The truth of all my dreams hit me in one line:

  I, Lalla, find myself on a lake, no shore in sight.

  71

  I can’t believe this happened to me!

  I made a mess of everything, no shore in sight.

  A klutz of a mason plastered my ceiling to the floor.

  Serves me right: it’s time I got to know myself.

  72

  He laughs when you laugh, sneezes in your sleep,

  yawns for you, coughs for you.

  He bathes every day in the river of your thoughts.

  He’s naked, all year round, and walks where you walk.

  Just go up and introduce yourself.

  73

  When the sun melts away, the moon remains.

  When the moon melts away, the mind remains.

  When the mind melts away, what’s left?

  Earth, ether, sky, all empty out.

  74

  (74, 75 & 76 form a group of vākhs, sharing the same or nearidentical closing line)

  When the scriptures melt away, the chants remain.

  When the chants melt away, the mind remains.

  When the mind melts away, what’s left?

  A void mingles with the Void.

  75

  Kill desire, focus on the true nature of things.

  Snap out of your daydreams,

  there’s rarest wisdom to be found right here.

  A void has mingled with the Void.

  76

  I’ve bridled my mind-horse, reined him in,

  struggled to tie my ten breath-streams together.

  That’s how the moon melted and rained nectar on me

  and a void mingled with the Void!

  77

  My mind-horse straddles the sky,

  crossing a hundred thousand miles in a blink.

  It takes wisdom to bridle that horse,

  he can break the wheels of breath’s chariot.

  78

  (78 & 79 are companion vākhs)

  Shiva’s the horse and Vishnu’s at the saddle,

  Brahma’s cheering at the stirrup.

  Only the yogi, artful in breath and posture,

  can say which god shall mount and ride this horse.

  79

  He who strikes the Unstruck Sound,

  calls space his body and emptiness his home,

  who has neither name nor colour nor family nor form,

  who, meditating on Himself, is both Source and Sound,

  is the god who shall mount and ride this horse.

  80

  Wear just enough to keep the cold out,

  eat just enough to keep hunger from your door.

  Mind, dream yourself beyond Self and Other.

  Remember, this body is just pickings for jungle crows.

  81

  Gourmet meals and elegant clothes can’t buy you peace of mind.

  Only they climb higher, who have left delusion behind.

  They know Death is fire behind a smiling mask

  and Desire is a tough lender who talks sweet.

  82

  Gluttony gets you the best table in the town of Nowhere,

  fasting gives your ego a boost.

  Slave of extremes, learn the art of balance

  and all the closed doors will open at your touch.

  83

  Now sir, make sure you’ve corralled your ass.

  Or he’ll champ his way

  through your neighbours’ saffron gardens.

  No one’s going to stand proxy

  when it’s your neck on the block.

  84

  Kill those killer ghouls, Lust, Anger and Greed,

  before they can aim their arrows at your heart.

  Armour yourself in thought, shield yourself with silence,

  you’ll soon see what they’re really made of.

  85

  Kill those road pirates: Greed, Lust and Pride.

  You’d be doing us all a great service.

  And then you’ll figure out how to reach the True Lord

  and you’ll see that the world is made of ash.

  86

  Your mind is the ocean of life.

  It can throw up an angry tide

  of fire-harpoons that stick in the flesh.

  But weigh them, and they weigh nothing.

  87

  You’re not happy ruling a kingdom,

  you’re not happy giving it away.

  But if you’re free of desire, you’re free of dilemma.

  Living, you’re dead already, and can never die.

  88

  Whatever I’ve started, I’ll finish.

  But the accounts are someone else’s headache.

  Keep the reward, whatever I do is an offering to the Self.

  Wherever I go, my only burden is lightness of step.

  89

  Train your thoughts on the path of immortality.

  Leave them unguided and they’ll grow

  into monsters. But take heart, most of the time,

  they’re like children crying for milk.

  90

  Resilience: to stand in the path of lightning.

  Resilience: to walk when darkness falls at noon.

  Resilience: to grind yourself fine in the turning mill.

  Resilience will come to you.

  91

  Good or bad, I’m happy to welcome both.

  I don’t hear with my ears, I don’t see with my eyes.

  A voice speaks inside my heart,

  my jewel-lamp burns bright even in a rampaging wind.

  92

  They lash me with insults, serenade me with curses.

  Their barking means nothing to me.

  Even if they came with soul-flowers to offer,

  I couldn’t care less. Untouched, I move on.

  93

  Let them hurl a thousand curses at me,

  pain finds no purchase in my heart.

  I belong to Shiva. Can a scatter of ashes

  ruin a mirror? It gleams.

  94

  Wisest to play the fool. Lynx-eyed, play blind.

  Prick-eared, be deaf.

  Polished, lie dull among the dull.

  Survive.

  95

  My Master gave me just one rule:

  Forget the outside, get to the inside of things.

  I, Lalla, took that teaching to heart.

  From that day, I’ve danced naked.

  96

  Want a kingdom? Raise a sabre.

  Want heaven? Burn in penance, give to the poor.

  Want knowledge of the Self? Listen to the Master.

  Want your current balance of sin and vi
rtue?

  Better consult the Self.

  97

  Restless mind, don’t infect the heart with fear.

  That virus is not for you.

  The Infinite knows what you hunger for.

  Ask Him to carry you across.

  98

  (98, 99, 100, 101 & 102 form a group of vākhs, linked by their closing line)

  They sprang in beauty from their mother’s womb,

  wounding it with their passage. Again and again,

  they came back to wait at that door, but Shiva

  can play hard to get: hold on to that message.

  99

  The stone of the temple is the stone of the paved road,

  the stone that anchors the earth’s continents

  is the stone of the mill that can grind you down.

  But Shiva can play hard to get: hold on to that message.

  100

  Does the sun not warm every country he visits

  or does he touch only the richest ones?

  Does water not flow in every house?

  But Shiva can play hard to get: hold on to that message.

  101

  As mother, she suckles you. As wife, she pampers you.

  As temptress, she puts a noose around your neck.

  That’s woman for you. But Shiva can play

  hard to get: hold on to that message.

  102

  If only I’d trained my mind to gather my breath-streams,

  played surgeon, cut and bound them, ground pain into

  an antidote,

  I’d have known how to churn the Elixir of Life!

  But Shiva can play hard to get: hold on to that message.

  103

  Pressed in winter’s paws, running water hardens to ice

  or powders into snow. Three different states

  but the sun of wisdom thaws them down to one.

  The world, all hands on board, has sunk without trace in Shiva!

  104

  Shiva lives in many places.

  He doesn’t know Hindu from Muslim.

  The Self that lives in you and others:

  that’s Shiva. Get the measure of Shiva.

  105

  The Lord has spread the subtle net of Himself across the world.

  See how He gets under your skin, inside your bones.

  If you can’t see Him while you’re alive,

  don’t expect a special vision once you’re dead.

  106

  You made a promise in the womb.

  Will you keep it or won’t you?

  Die before death can claim you

  and they will honour you when you go.

  107

  (107 & 108 are companion vākhs)

  Who shall die, who shall be killed?

  Who forgets the Name

  and falls into the world’s murky business:

  he shall die, he shall be killed.

  108

  Who trusts his Master’s word

  and controls the mind-horse

  with the reins of wisdom,

  he shall not die, he shall not be killed.

  109

  Who sees Self as Other, Other as Self,

  who sees day as night, night as day,

  whose mind does not dance between opposites,

  he alone has seen the Teacher

  who is First among the Gods.

  110

  Alone, I crossed the Field of Emptiness,

  dropping my reason and my senses.

  I stumbled on my own secret there

  and flowered, a lotus rising from a marsh.

  111

  What the books taught me, I’ve practised.

  What they didn’t teach me, I’ve taught myself.

  I’ve gone into the forest and wrestled with the lion.

  I didn’t get this far by teaching one thing and doing another.

  112

  I gave myself to Him, body and soul,

  became a bell that the clear note of Him rang through.

  Thoughts fixed on Him, I flew through the sky

  and unlocked the mysteries of heaven and hell.

  113

  You rule the earth, breathe life

  into the five elements.

  All creation throbs with the Unstruck Sound.

  Immeasurable, who can take Your measure?

  114

  To the yogi, the whole wide world ripples into Nothingness:

  it splashes like water on the water of Infinity.

  When that Void melts, Perfection remains.

  Hey priest-man, that’s the only lesson you need!

  115

  Word or thought, normal or Absolute, they mean nothing here.

  Even the mudrās of silence won’t get you entry.

  We’re beyond even Shiva and Shakti here.

  This Beyond that’s beyond all we can name, that’s your lesson!

  116

  Neither You nor I, neither object nor meditation,

  just the All-Creator, lost in His dreams.

  Some don’t get it, but those who do

  are carried away on the wave of Him.

  117

  New mind, new moon.

  I’ve seen the great ocean made new.

  Ever since I’ve scoured my body and mind,

  I, Lalla, have been as new as new can be!

  118

  Reputation: it’s water splashing in a creel.

  Find me a hero who can trap a gale

  in his fist, tether an elephant

  with a hair. Maybe he’d dare

  to hang on to reputation.

  119

  To dam a flood,

  to blow out a forest fire,

  to walk on air,

  to milk a wooden cow:

  any con artist could do it.

  120

  Who can halt the dripping frost

  or cup the wind in his palms?

  He can, who has reined in his five senses.

  He can pluck the sun from the midnight sky.

  121

  He, from whose navel the First Syllable rises,

  who crafts from his breath a bridge to heaven:

  he carries just one mantra in his head,

  why would he need a thousand spells?

  122

  Some run away from home, some escape the hermitage.

  No orchard bears fruit for the barren mind.

  Day and night, count the rosary of your breath,

  and stay put wherever you are.

  123

  Hermit or householder: same difference.

  If you’ve dissolved your desires in the river of time,

  you will see that the Lord is everywhere and is perfect.

  As you know, so shall you be.

  124

  Some, who have closed their eyes, are wide awake.

  Some, who look out at the world, are fast asleep.

  Some who bathe in sacred pools remain dirty.

  Some are at home in the world but keep their hands clean.

  125

  Those who glow with the light of the Self

  are freed from life even while they live.

  But fools add knots by the hundred

  to the tangled net of the world.

  126

  Don’t waste your wisdom on a fool

  or your sugar on an ass.

  Don’t plant seeds in the river’s sand

  or pour oil on bran cakes kept for the cow.

  127

  I can scatter the battalions of southern clouds,

  dry the ocean, play physician

  to the most lingering fever and cure it.

  But I can’t knock sense into a fool.

  128

  Master, leave these palm leaves and birch barks

  to parrots who recite the name of God in a cage.

  Good luck, I say, to those who think they’ve read the scriptures.

  The greatest scripture is the one that’s playing
in my head.

  129

  It’s so much easier to study than act,

  to philosophise than go looking for the Self.

  Losing the scriptures in the thick fog of my practice,

  I stumbled on second sight.

  130

  This lake, even a mustard seed’s too large to sink in it,

  but everybody comes to drink its water.

  Deer, jackals, rhinos, cloud-elephants are born,

 

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