“You like that?” he hissed breathlessly against my ear. “You like touching me? Do you like feeling me against you?”
“Yes,” I whispered.
“Did you miss it?”
I couldn’t deny it. I looked up at him, looked into those familiar eyes, and I couldn’t deny it. I knew he could see it in my eyes.
“Yes.”
“Was it as good with him? Did he make you feel the way I do?”
And it all went crashing down like a child’s tower made of blocks.
“I never—”
“What did you say at the court martial? That you’d been in a relationship with Lieutenant Carmichael? That you didn’t know me except for the fact that we served on the same ship?”
“I said that because—”
“I don’t care why you said it.” His hand was around my throat again. He applied pressure for a moment, pressing against my hyoid bone until the air moving through my chest became stale. “You promised me you would tell the truth. You were the only thing separating me from freedom. You were the only one I could trust.”
“Ingram…”
“If I’d taken the deal the JAG officer arranged for me, I would have only served two years. But you promised me you’d tell the truth, that you’d make sure I didn’t serve any time at all. But then you lied.”
“I did it for you.”
He laughed, bitterly. And then his face was so close to mine that I could feel the heat of his breath, the moisture of his spittle.
“Don’t lie to me anymore. You did it for you. You did it so that you could keep your career.”
“I was given an honorable discharge two weeks after they took you to South Carolina. If you’d read any of my letters, you would know that.”
A dark cloud rushed over his face. “Why?”
I looked away, not ready to tell him that yet. But he still had his hand on my throat and he simply slid it upward, grabbing my jaw in his hand.
“Why?”
Instead of answering, I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. I gave it everything I had, burying my tongue deep in his mouth, tasting the familiar and the new, remembering just how good this had been once upon a time. This was the man I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. This was the man I loved more than anyone.
Well, maybe not anyone.
His hand slipped from my throat around to the back of my head. He tugged me forward, kissing me with such force that, for a moment, I thought he might suffocate me. But I didn’t care. Wasn’t that a wonderful way to die? To die in the arms of your love?
But it wasn’t just my mouth he was devouring. His hands were tearing at my clothes, pulling at my shirt until the room was filled with the sound of the thin material ripping. My breasts were in his hands, my bra slipping away, his hands doing things that my body remembered far faster than my head. I tugged at him, too, my fingers ripping at his shirt until he was forced to step back and strip it over his head. I caught an amazing glance of his pecs, his abs, and then he was on me again, his hands forcing their way into my jeans. He lifted me up against the door, tugging at my jeans, at my body, pulling and ripping and tearing until there was nothing left between me and him but his clothing. And even that didn’t pose much of a barrier.
He was rough when he thrust inside of me, pegging me up against the door. I cried out as much from the pleasure as the pain, wrapping my legs around his waist to pull him even closer to me. I deserved the pain. I deserved everything he wanted to do to me. What I did was unforgiveable.
And yet…his thrust slowed, his kiss grew gentle. He ran his lips slowly over my throat, his breath hot and so exciting against my neck. And then he was kissing me again, his touch more like the touch he’d once offered me. I buried my fingers in his hair, the curls wrapping around me like he was trying to hold me there. His hands were on my ass, tugging me against him as he moved into a slow, rhythmic, movement.
He stumbled back from the door, carrying me to the couch. He fell back, holding me on his lap. I immediately rose up on my knees, taking control of the movement. He buried his face against my breasts, sucking at my nipples until I thought he was going to drive me insane. I moved roughly against him, grinding my clit against his body, moaning as the pleasure grew and grew inside of me. My lower belly tightened and began to quiver, my orgasm refusing to be denied.
I leaned my head back as the waves began to shoot through me, grinding, grinding hard. His hands slipped up my back as he moved to support me, his mouth slipping over my breasts, my ribs. I was just beginning to come down off that ride when I felt him swell a little more inside of me, heard him grunt just before he bit down on my shoulder. And then the heat of his orgasm washed through me, these soft groans slipping from between his lips.
He held me hard against his chest for a long moment, his thumbs rubbing in circles against my skin. But then he lifted me up, set me on the couch, and stood.
He pulled up his pants and walked away, storming through the door before I could say a word. I sat there, naked and satisfied, wondering what the hell had just happened.
And then this overwhelming sense of grief washed over me and I started to cry. I hated being weak, hated that I let him get to me. But he had and I just…I cried.
Chapter 7
Ingram
“You must be Lieutenant Greer.”
“That’s what my badge says.”
My hands were shaking. I looked at her, not sure what to think. I was told that I was to report to this Lieutenant Greer and that I should look out because this commanding officer was by the book, very demanding. But then I walked into the ballroom and found this woman who was no taller than a prepubescent boy with curves that seemed almost obscene in the Navy’s dress blues. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to salute her, or throw her over the bar and fuck her.
And then she smiles and I know which I want it to be.
“You must be Ensign Porter. They told me you would be coming here tonight.”
“I am.”
“Well, Ensign, I suggest you enjoy yourself tonight because tomorrow I’m going to work you into exhaustion.”
“I certainly hope so.”
I didn’t mean to say it out loud. I stepped back slightly, expecting a reprimand. But she just smiled that amazing smile and winked.
“Good evening, Ensign.”
I watched her walk away, thinking that this was going to be an interesting tour. I’d worked with female commanders before, but there was just something about her. I knew from that moment she was going to be someone important in my life.
Just how important…
The justice of the peace smiled as he watched us walk into his office.
“I’ve officiated over dozens of marriages in my role as justice of the peace, but I have to say that the two of you seem more in love than the majority of them…”
“I filed the paperwork today.”
I looked over at her. “The paperwork for what?”
“To resign my commission. I just want to be your wife.”
“Bailey…” I pulled her into my arms and held her close. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know. But we can’t keep hiding this. Someone’s going to figure it out. Besides, I want to be with you. I want to make a life with you. And if you’re going to make the Navy your life’s career…”
“No one’s ever done anything like that for me.”
“Well, get ready for a lifetime of love and respect.”
I had no words. All I could do was kiss her and hope that that got my meaning across. But then she pushed me away.
“You better get to the bar. Your shipmates are probably waiting.”
I stood on the sunporch at the back of the lodge, the wind so loud that I could hardly hear myself think. There was this foster home I once lived in. I was about twelve at the time. The family had three kids of their own. Two were boys, one a year older than me, and one much younger. And a girl. The girl was sixteen and she thought it was exc
eedingly funny to flash her tits at me every time she used the hall bathroom we all shared. She was such a fucking tease, laughing every time I ogled her. I tried not to look, but that just made her work harder to get a reaction. Then, one afternoon, we were home alone. The mother had taken the other children to the dentist or something. She came into my room while I was working on homework and undressed. That’s all. She just stood there, completely naked, waiting for me to react to her. When I wouldn’t look up, she climbed onto my bed and shoved her tits onto the book I was studying. I still refused to look and she finally left. She never showed me her tits again, but then she told everyone she could that I was a homosexual.
I was actually okay with everyone thinking that. At least the girls left me alone for a while. But then I moved to another home and had to start all over again.
I don’t know what brought that to mind. Being here, touching Bailey…I thought I had gotten past all of that. I thought I’d moved on. I buried my feelings for her so deep that I thought it would take more than just spending a few minutes in her presence to dig it all up. Apparently not.
It was killing me, being here.
There was one thing growing up in the system had taught me: You don’t trust anyone. I broke that rule with Bailey. It was my own fault that she’d been able to manipulate and betray me the way she had. If I’d followed my own rules, she never would have been able to do that. She wouldn’t have had that power.
And she wouldn’t have the power she had now.
I needed to get out of here. I needed to go back to Austin and bury myself in the mundanity of the work. I needed to resign myself to the life I’d been handed.
Hail started to pound against the walls of the sunporch. Time to get inside.
I walked back into the lodge. Bailey was still on the couch, wrapped in a thin blanket that had been folded over the back. She wouldn’t look at me as I moved around the room, checking the windows. Each was covered with plywood, but I could still feel the vibrations the wind caused in them.
This storm was going to be a bad one.
The last hurricane I’d experienced had been off the coast of South Carolina. We’d had to move our battleship out to sea to avoid smashing the boat up in port. But then we had to deal with the high waves and heavy rain out at sea. It was not one of my favorite memories of the Navy.
I saw the emergency radio on the mantel. I turned it on, a distant voice immediately filling the room with unfortunate news.
“Hurricane Alice has reached category 5. Areas of the Gulf Coast are already experiencing high winds and severe flooding. Local authorities in Galveston and Houston are urging people to remain in their homes. Land fall is expected around midnight.”
I glanced at my watch. We still had more than three hours until midnight.
“It’s getting pretty rough out there. You should probably get dressed in case we need to bail in a hurry.”
She nodded, climbing off the couch, carefully pulling the blanket tight around herself. She gathered her clothes where we’d left them abandoned by the door, and stomped off down the hallway that led to the bedrooms. I went into the kitchen and checked the cupboards, looking to see what the rations looked like. Plenty of bottled water. Plenty of canned beans and other foodstuffs. We would be okay for a month or more, but hopefully we wouldn’t be stuck here that long.
I wandered the rest of the room, a little restless. There was nothing to do, really. Just sit and wait to see what would happen. I finally settled behind Laurence’s desk and—not really with the intention of doing anything—I began rifling through his papers. Laurence was a good man. Kind. But he wasn’t terribly organized. I found food receipts mixed up with emails, gun shop receipts mixed up with dry cleaning tickets. I dug through the mess, glancing at everything that seemed even slightly relevant. There was nothing there.
But then I remembered the letter the lawyer gave to me at his office. I was tugging it out of my back pocket when Bailey came back into the living room.
“Do you think we should go check the other cabins before it goes too bad?”
“It’s already too bad for that.”
I ripped open the envelope and pulled out a couple of sheets of paper. It was a handwritten note, scribbled in Laurence’s familiar doctor-like scratching.
Dear Ingram,
There are so many things I should probably say to you, so many things that you should know in order to understand why I organized my will the way that I did. But all of that is between you and Bailey. All you need to know is that I adore my daughter and I want what’s best for her.
I didn’t write this letter to explain Bailey, nor did I write it to tell you why I want you to take control of the land that the business sits on. I know Bailey will likely sell the business after my death because it was always my dream, not hers. And she’ll be worried about her mother’s financial wellbeing—though she really doesn’t need to worry. I took care to be sure they would both be well cared for.
This letter, as rambling as it may be, is to inform you that I think Bailey is in danger. She’s been engaging in some activity that is unsafe, but in order for me to explain it to you, I would have to tell you everything and those are secrets that are hers to tell. I sought you out in Austin to tell you the whole story, but then I saw you and I…I simply couldn’t do it. I’ve always seen you as a surrogate son, and I hate that you’ve gone through so much these last five years. I don’t want to drag you back into the gutter.
I’m trying to make this right. If I succeed, you’ll never read this letter. If I fail…I made you promise to watch out for her. Please keep that promise.
Laurence
I could feel Bailey’s eyes on me as I read through the letter a second, then third, time. I finally folded up the letter and slipped it back into my pocket.
“What did it say?”
I shook my head. “It was meant for me.”
“Did he talk about me?”
I leaned back in the chair and studied her for a moment. “Feeling guilty about something?”
“No.”
She blushed as she said it, making me wonder if she was lying. She always blushed when she lied.
“It said you have secrets.”
“Don’t we all?”
“Yeah. Like the secrets I kept from my cellmate so that I wouldn’t lose my lunch privileges. Or the secrets I kept from the inmate down the hall so that he wouldn’t kick my ass on the exercise field before the feds came to get him.”
The color drained from her face. “Ingram…”
“You want to know what the brig was like?” I stood, crossing to stand in front of her. “It was a whole combination of lies and secrets. It was like being on board a ship, but unable to ever leave its confines. It was like living with a bunch of assholes who no longer believed in the country they once promised to give their lives for.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“But it wasn’t nearly as bad as having my wife lie on the witness stand in order to protect her own ass over mine.”
Her head snapped up, her eyes burning into mine.
“I had my reasons.”
“I’m sure you did. But I can’t imagine what they could have been.”
“I loved you, Ingram. But there were things going on that you knew nothing about.”
“Like you and Carmichael? Was that true, what you said on the stand? Were the two of you together?”
“No, of course not!”
Her cheeks were suddenly bright, her eyes snapping with anger. There was outrage there, too, an outrage that spoke of things she had no right to feel. If anyone should be outraged here, it was me.
“How do I know that? How do I know that you weren’t cheating on me that whole time?”
She moved so quickly that I nearly missed it. Nearly. I caught her wrist just before her palm made contact with my face.
“Watch it!”
“You know damn well that I would never cheat on you! That’s not wh
at it was! Carmichael was an asshole, but he had very powerful friends. You knew that!”
“What were you doing there with him that day?”
“They called me and said they wanted to meet with me about that promotion everyone was talking about. I thought—”
“You’d put in your papers to resign your commission.”
“I know. But I didn’t think it would hurt to hear what they had to say.”
I squeezed her wrist before letting it go, pacing the length of the living room. “You were never going to resign your commission.”
“I was, Ingram. I just…I thought I’d hear them out; see what they had to say.”
“Why? If you were done, what did it matter?”
“It didn’t matter. But you don’t exactly turn down a commanding officer when he invites you to drinks.”
“Carmichael wasn’t your commander.”
“But Philips was.”
I shook my head, not really interested in hearing any more about this. I didn’t want to know. I told myself I did, but I really didn’t. What did it matter what happened all that time ago? We’d gone our separate ways. And when this was over…I’d sell the property. Let her do what she wanted with the new owner.
“It was Philips who called me. He said that he wanted me to come meet him and the others to talk about the promotion. He said that he knew I was interested, but that Carmichael and James were, too. He said he wanted to let us know who it was he thought they would be giving it to.”
“But you…”
I stopped myself before I got all the words out. I really didn’t care.
“He made it sound like an order.”
“Then why was Carmichael the one who was all over you?”
“I don’t know. They were all acting weird. They kept insisting that I drink, but I…I poured the wine Philips got me into a plant in the lobby. And then I saw you and I was making an excuse to leave when Carmichael…well, when he did what he did.”
GRAY WOLF SECURITY, Texas: The Complete 6-Books Series Page 20