by Griff Hosker
John, my steward, approached, “We are all sorry for your loss, my lord. Each of us here owes our lives to the Lady Adela and we will honour her memory.”
“We will burn their bodies tomorrow. I hope that Father Peter will be here for I would know the words I need to say to send …” I found myself becoming filled with grief; it was almost too much to bear. I had to be strong. I was the lord of the manor. My feelings had to remain hidden. My father had taught me that. I coughed and it helped. “We have to stay within these walls for nine more days. Father Matthew said that if I survived ten days from the first contact then I did not have the disease.” I saw the shock on their faces. That thought had not occurred to them. “If I become ill then you must give me the potion Father Matthew left. Erre knows where it is.”
John the Steward said, “You should not have come, my lord. You have put yourself in danger.”
I smiled, “It was meant to be. Had I not come then Father Matthews would have died without telling me what I needed to know. I do not feel ill and I believe that I will be spared but if not then Erre and John are in charge. I have left Wulfric to command the town.” Smiling I said, “We all owe it to Lady Adela and Father Matthew to be better people after this. They have given us a new life and today you are all reborn. That, in itself, is a miracle.”
When they smiled I knew I had said the right thing but in my heart I felt like a hypocrite for I did not believe my own words. They had new lives but God had killed my wife, my unborn child and my daughter. I would find it hard to forgive.
We carried the bodies and laid them on the two pyres. Their ashes would be kept separate. My wife’s servants and ladies used cochineal to give her some colour and arranged her clothes so that she looked as beautiful as ever. I slept through sheer exhaustion for there was still much to do.
When we rose, the next day, it was with a heavy heart. I went with Erre to the gate. There was a host awaiting us. Father Peter was there with Wulfric, Sir Edward and Sir Richard. All looked sombre. Baskets lay at the foot of the wall. “Throw the ropes to Erre and he will haul them up.” While he did so I spoke with Father Peter. “We will have to burn my wife and Father Matthew today. We cannot bury them for…”
Father Peter nodded, “God will understand.”
“I do not have the words, Father.”
“When I see the smoke rise then I will know and I will say the words. Their souls will go to heaven.”
I nodded. “Then we will begin.”
When I reached the two pyres I saw that the women had found wild flowers which they had strewn over Adela’s body. Erre handed me a torch. I saw that John held a third. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. I plunged the torch into the kindling beneath the logs we had used. The others did the same. My servants lit Father Matthew’s pyre. The wood crackled and smoked and then the flames leapt up to consume first the wood and then the clothes. The women looked away but I watched in horror as my wife burned before my eyes. The image would ever live with me. It was not until that moment that I realised I would never see my wife again nor speak to her. She and my daughter were gone forever. I felt my eyes filling with tears.
The column of smoke rose and I heard chanting from beyond my walls. The smoke seemed to surround me and consume me. I felt strangely dizzy. Perhaps I was over tired. I had slept but an hour at most and I had not eaten. I continued to stare at the fire. I began to cough. It seemed that I was light as a feather for I felt as though I could float. I looked up and the sky began to spin and then all went black.
Chapter 14
I dreamed.
I rode Star but his hooves were not on the ground. He rode on clouds. My armour was now as black as night and matched the sheen of my mighty steed. Below me I saw a mighty host and they were fighting. I saw the Empress Matilda and she was assailed on all sides by knights wearing red surcoats. Rolf and his Swabians laid about them with their swords but no matter how many they slew more appeared as though sorcery was involved. I heard my wife’s voice as she said, in my ear, “Go my husband. You are a Knight of the Empress. You serve her still!” I swung Star’s head around and plunged towards the ground. His mighty hooves clattered and crashed into the red coated warriors. My sword rang against metal as I carved a path to the Empress. I hoisted her on to Star and we galloped up into the sky away from the death and away from the danger. We went higher and higher into the sky. The sky went from blue to black and then the stars disappeared and all was black. All was silent.
I opened my eyes and saw John and Erre staring at me with fear on their faces. I raised myself up. “Have I been ill?”
Erre said, “We thought you were dead my lord.”
“How long was I out?”
“It is but two hours since we burned the bodies of your wife and Father Matthew. You fell to the ground and lay still. It was as though someone had struck you a blow. John said you breathed still and we brought you here to your chamber. We watched as you fought.”
“I fought?”
“You waved your arm as though holding a sword and it seemed to me you were in a battle. Then you suddenly went still and lay there. We were afraid you had died and joined the Lady Adela.”
John asked, fearfully, “Do you feel ill, my lord?”
“I felt… I know not how I felt but I dreamed.” I swung my legs over the side of the bed. “And I know what we must do. We will not be idle. We will burn all of the bedding and the clothes of the dead. I will ask the villagers for clean clothes and we will burn the clothes you all wear.”
They both nodded. I think they were grateful to have something to occupy them. “And the ashes of Father Matthew and Lady Adela?”
I pointed to the small pot containing Hilda’s ashes. “My wife put my daughter in a pot. Find two good pots for Father Matthew and my wife. When the ashes are cold we will put them within. Father Matthew had niches in the church. They will lie within sanctified ground when we leave this place.”
We busied ourselves.
I told no one of my dream. Even to this day that is my secret. I keep it buried deep within me. It did give me hope. God had deserted me but my wife had not and she had shown me what I needed to do. I was to protect the Empress. First I had to survive the next days and then I had to make my men and my castle as strong as I could for I had to visit Anjou and Normandy. I would tell the others that I needed to visit with the King. They would understand that. The dream had been a premonition of danger. The Empress needed me. The spirit of my wife had told me that. As I look back, now, I can see that my soul was lost at this time. It all made perfect sense to me then as I led my people to scour the disease form my castle.
It took two days to clean and cleanse the castle. There was joy from my town that I lived and had not succumbed to the disease. It became a routine for me to parade my walls each morning where my men could see that I was alive and well. I took to running around the walls. I enjoyed the exercise and it gave me the chance to view my lands. Spring was well upon us and I saw green shoots spreading in the distance. Fields were filled with cattle and sheep. But for the disaster of the plague it would have been a happy time. Each time I appeared at the walls Father Peter would bless me. Those who were around would drop to their knees and pray for those within the walls.
When we ate, all together now, in my Great Hall, I saw all watching me carefully for signs of disease but there were none. I felt hale and hearty. There was a sickness but it was deep within me and I hid it from all.
When I woke on the tenth morning after the death of Father Matthew it was like being born again. I had not been stricken. In fact, if anything I felt stronger. I had worked during the ten days and eaten frugally. I would not waste my life. My wife’s words which had come as she was ascending to heaven had made that clear to me. I strode to my gates and flung them open. There was a veritable host outside. I saw a mixture of anticipation and fear upon their faces. The disease had been contained within my walls; was it now outside? I walked towards Father Peter. In my
arms I carried the pots containing the ashes of my family. We walked into the church. Behind me John carried the pot with Father Matthew’s. We laid the two pots before the altar. I dropped to my knees before the priest and bowed my head. Silence reigned until Father Peter blessed me.
There was a long silence. Father Peter spoke a prayer in Latin and then led the congregation out. Everyone left but I stayed there. Father Peter returned to me. “You have suffered a great loss my son but it is God’s will.”
I turned and almost spat the words out. “There is no God! A benevolent God would have spared my wife and child who were innocent and blameless!”
“Those words would be blasphemous enough anywhere but here in this holy place they are a sin of such magnitude I can barely find the words to berate you.”
He spoke quietly but it was as though my father was there chastising me in his own quiet way for an adolescent misdemeanour. I hung my head. I do not know why I had said what I had. Then I knew why. We were in the church. This was where we were closest to God. I had just lashed out in anger.
“God works in mysterious ways, my son. We cannot know his purpose. At the last judgement all will be made clear but until that time we are in his hands and we must trust to him. Do you see into the future? Do you know what is around the corner?” I shook my head. “Then do not abandon your faith because you are hurt. Think of all those who have lost loved ones before. Then you did not doubt the existence of God, why now?”
He was right. I was used to fighting enemies who had weapons. I had revenged myself on the killers of my father and Athelstan. I could not kill a disease. “I am sorry father, forgive me, I beg of you.”
He shook his head. “The blasphemy is too great. I alone cannot forgive you. You need to show God that you are truly repentant. You must make a pilgrimage.”
“York? Winchester?”
“No it must be to the tomb of the Conqueror in Caen. I would say Rome but I fear the King would disapprove of such a perilous journey. You must go to Caen.”
I nodded. I had already planned on visiting Anjou and Normandy. Perhaps this was meant to be. I was happy to be thus ordered.
Raising me to my feet he nodded, “We will put these urns safely within the church and then celebrate your recovery! Once that it is over you shall beg forgiveness at the Abbaye aux Hommes. There God can forgive you.”
We did celebrate. Aiden and my archers had gone hunting and we held a huge feast in the open area before Ethelred’s hall. I was assaulted by question after question. My son William asked the most. He had chafed at the bit whilst in Yarm and he refused to leave my side. Sir Richard told me that he had cried for two days when he heard of his mother’s death. Since that time he had put all of his energy into becoming a better warrior. I wondered at that. Would his grief rise to the surface at some later stage? Sir Edward said little but his constant stare made me wonder what was going on inside his head. He never said what had occupied his mind but he knew me as well now as any man and if any could divine my thoughts it was him.
John, my Steward, had told me there were many cases to be heard and so, at the end of the feast I stood. Unlike most of those before me I was almost sober, “I will hold sessions two days hence. Let all cases be brought hither. Then I intend to make a pilgrimage to the tomb of the Conqueror in Normandy. I intend to give thanks in the Abbaye Aux Hommes for our survival.”
I received nods from all save Sir Edward. Like me he had drunk little.
As I bade farewell to our guests Sir Edward stayed close by. “It is a little far to go and give thanks. What of Durham, York or even Winchester?”
“Father Peter has ordered me to go there and besides it suits my purpose for I need to speak with the King.” I lowered my voice. “I have suspicions of some of the lords. I think there may be plots.”
“Barnard de Balliol?”
“He is one such. You know of what I speak.” He nodded. “If our enemies think I am going to speak with the King then they might try to stop me. This way it is seen as an understandable journey which will arouse no suspicion.”
He smiled, “I thought it was your heart which led you.”
I smiled back. There are layers of deception. I had not lied to Sir Edward and, indeed, told him more than I would say to any other but it was not the whole truth. I pointed to the church. “That is where my heart lies.”
“She was a good lady.”
“She was more than I deserved and I now know that I should have been a better husband. I will now try to be a better lord. This ordeal will have one positive outcome, at least.”
It took two weeks to put the affairs of the manor in order. I arranged for two ships to take us to Caen. Olaf arranged that. I took my squires, Wulfric and ten men at arms along with Dick and ten archers. The rest I left to serve Erre. He was determined to live up to the Lady Adela and her sacrifice. I knew that he would defend my home with his life. He and John promised to make my castle a home once more and to make the defences the best in the land. I knew that they would do as they promised and I had no worries about my valley and my town. We set sail for Normandy at the end of May. I did not know then that the next few months would change my life forever.
As we sailed south beneath a bright blue sky and a fresh north westerly blowing us south I could have foreseen the dangers that were ahead. I had been so consumed with the problems in the west and north as well as my own personal tragedies that I had forgotten the struggle in the west. Olaf was a well travelled captain and one of our oldest friends. He brought us news and gossip from the mainland to which we now travelled. Wulfric, Dick and I would stand by him at the stern rail. William practised with John and Leofric.
Olaf was an easy man to talk with. He had sailed the seas these many years and knew us all well. He was not a knight, he was a friend. “Since the death of William Clito, Louis the Fat has been without allies. I have heard that he seeks an alliance with William of Aquitaine.”
I looked at Olaf and the surprise must have shown on my face, “I know the Duke and his daughter Eleanor. Why would he make an alliance with Louis the Fat?”
“For the same reason that your King Henry married the Empress Matilda to Geoffrey of Anjou. He has no sons. Who will protect his lands, his people and his daughter when he dies?”
It made sense but it disappointed me. I had liked Eleanor and her father. I knew that she would not like to be used as a pawn in this game of thrones. Louis was a plotter. “Does this strengthen the French?”
“Aye, for there is much unrest in Maine and Normandy. King Henry is no longer a young man. His brother still rots in the Tower and there are some who would overthrow the King and put his brother on the throne as a figurehead.”
“You seem to know about these things.”
He laughed and tapped his nose. “I come from Norway and I am no Viking. I am trusted for my country has no ambitions. I fetch and carry for all sides. I hear things. Men do not think that a simple sailor can speak many languages. I listen.” I wondered at his loyalty. He saw my look and added, “Ethelred and Alf are my kinsmen. Stockton is as close to a home as I have. I swear that I would never betray you, my lord.”
I was relieved but Wulfric growled, “And if you ever did I would gut you like a fish.”
Olaf nodded, “You need not threaten me Wulfric. I have Norse blood and I am never foresworn.” He took the hammer of Thor from beneath his kyrtle. “I keep a foot in both camps.”
“There will be war then?”
He lowered his voice. “I know not for certain but Eustace of Breteuil, the king’s son in law and his illegitimate daughter, Juliana have been seen in Blois close to the border with the Île-de-France.” Blois again; its threat never went away. “And there is more, the two families of brigands from Puset and Coucy, have now become barons. They too are close to the borders. They plague not only the French but the lands of Blois and Normandy. Their power has grown and every vagabond and renegade knight flocks to their banners for they promise great
treasure and riches.”
Wulfric nodded, “I have heard of them. Thomas Lord of Coucy is a cruel man. He enjoys gouging out eyes and hanging men by their testicles. Hugh, Lord of Puset is almost as bad.”
“Hugh died in the Holy Land but his son, Roger, is cut from the same cloth as his father. And the Lord of Coucy has lost none of his appetite for cruelty; he seems to try to outdo himself with his bestiality and violence.”
“Does the King know of this?”
“He has spies and I assume that he does,” He shrugged. I know of gossip from those who work at the lower end; what the lords and kings do is beyond my reach.” He smiled, “You are the noblest man that I know. If you do not know…”
“Thank you Olaf.” I stared ahead to the coast of Flanders, “And where is the King?”
“Rouen.”
“The Empress and her husband?”
“They are at Angers.”
Then it would be unlikely that I would see the Empress. It had been in my mind to visit with her but as her husband was reconciled with her it was hard to see how. My dream had suggested danger. Perhaps it was danger for the King but the Empress had been there and part of it. Now that I knew she was far away then I could do as I had told Edward. I would go to the tomb of the Conqueror and then visit with the King. I could hold my head high for I had not lied. I felt a sense of relief.
We did not sail all the way down the Orne to Caen. The water levels in the river were low due to poor rain in the spring. Instead we offloaded at Ouistreham which lay at its mouth. It was a short journey to Caen from there. We spent two days camped in the dunes by the sea to allow our horses to recover from the journey. We rode them in the sea for it strengthened their legs. I sent Dick to the castle at Caen to announce our arrival. Gone were the days when I could be ignored. I was now an Earl.
The citadel at Caen was magnificent. So long as it was garrisoned then Normandy was safe. I knew the castellan well and he was pleased to see me. “What brings you here so unexpectedly my lord?”