by Bree Wolf
Nathanial felt his head bob up and down like a fool’s. “You’re welcome.”
Smiling, Charlaine turned to the girls and helped them put on the necklaces. Then she straightened their hair and reminded them to be on their best behavior. “For Pierce and Caroline.”
“For Pierce and Caroline!” Daphne and Susan called like warriors riding into battle.
When they stepped back out into the corridor, Charlaine held him back as the girls hastened toward the staircase. “Later, you need to tell me what truly happened.” Then she grasped his hand and pulled him along.
Downstairs, Mary was settled on the mantel, half-hidden behind a large vase and given stern instructions by Daphne not to venture from this spot. Then the girls rushed to present their dresses to Pierce and Caroline.
“You look beautiful,” Caroline exclaimed as she ran a hand over Daphne’s curls. “Oh, and that pearl necklace! You chose wisely.”
Daphne beamed, and Susan rushed forward to claim some praise for herself.
Nathanial felt his mind still spinning from all the unexpected commotion. He barely noticed the other guests moving closer, observing the familial scene and whispering to one another. He felt Charlaine’s hand on his arm and turned to look at her, knowing that her unusual ways had once again brought about a wonderful moment.
She met his gaze. “You did good.”
Nathanial laughed. “I was almost discovered.”
“I suppose that was Emma, looking for the girls.” She grinned at him. “What did you do?”
“I hid behind the door.”
Her smile broadened. “Bravo! I’m glad to hear you’re not completely untalented when it comes to sneaking around. Perhaps you still do remember something from your childhood years.”
Nathanial laughed. “You bring out a rather troubling side in me.”
“Oh, no, not troubling at all,” she told him with that meaningful look in her brown eyes. “But freeing.” Her gaze shifted down to his chest. “Don’t tell me your heart did not try to beat out of your body.”
“Of course, it did,” Nathanial replied in a hushed tone. “It was deeply unsettling.”
Her smile deepened. “You’ll come to cherish it. I promise you.” She glanced over her shoulder at a young, blond-haired woman, who looked a bit flushed in the face and stood off to the side, a weary look in her eyes. “I’d better go speak to Emma and apologize for the girls. I’ll be right back.”
Nathanial nodded as she hastened away, then turned when he heard Lord Markham address him. “I see Charlaine has managed to include you in her…games,” the man said with a good-natured smile. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”
Nathanial couldn’t help but chuckle. “I cannot say that I do.”
Lord Markham shook his head as he looked after her. “Peter warned me that she was headstrong.” He looked at Nathanial and chuckled. “He even told me to lock the windows. What does that tell you?” Again, he shook his head. “But she has a good heart.”
Nathanial could not help but agree. “Peter?”
“An old friend,” Lord Markham explained. “He was married to her sister, and before he passed away, he asked me to look after Charlaine.”
Another puzzle piece fell in place. Nathanial wanted to know more, but he did not dare ask. Not today. Not with a nosey crowd gathered around them. Not Lord Markham.
Perhaps one day, Charlaine would confide in him. Perhaps one day, he could repay her for her kindness. After all, she had given him the greatest gift he could have hoped for: the gift of distraction. For whenever he was around her, Nathanial did not worry. He did not overthink things. He did not contemplate the bleak future that awaited him.
Whenever she was near him, he lived in the here and now.
And it felt wonderful.
“Have you heard from your brother?” Lord Markham asked, jarring him from his thoughts.
Nathanial cleared his throat. “I have, yes. He does write the occasional letter, and at least one of mine seems to have found him before they moved on.” He chuckled. “He wrote to say that they’ll be returning in time for your wedding.”
Lord Markham nodded, clearly pleased by these news. “Where are they at the moment?”
“That, he did not say,” Nathanial replied, remembering his brother’s rather short letter. Apparently, the man was currently otherwise occupied. “He did not write much at all.”
Lord Markham chuckled. “I suppose that is a good sign.”
Indeed, living in the moment proved a wonderful experience, however new the concept was for Nathanial. Still, he was willing to give it a try. After all, what did he have to lose?
Chapter Twenty
White Lies
“Miss Hawkins is here to see you,” Albert announced as he stepped out onto the terrace where Charlaine sat with her charcoal drawings. The light was perfect this time of day, and the soft breeze reminded her of home, bringing with it a deep wistfulness she hadn’t been able to escape. “Shall I show her inside?”
Charlaine set down the piece of charcoal and wiped her blackened hands on a piece of linen. “Albert, please don’t pretend you don’t know what is going on,” Charlaine chided him. “You very well know that she’s here to see Pierce and not me.”
Albert cleared his throat. “That is not what she said.”
“To keep up pretenses.”
His lips thinned, and the muscle in his jaw tightened. “Shall I see her inside?”
Charlaine sighed. “Of course.” She lifted a hand when he made to leave. “You might as well make your peace with it, old man. We’re family, and we wouldn’t dream of hiding anything from you.” If she was not mistaken, a hint of red crept up Albert’s face that he sought to hide by spinning on his heel and walking away. “And please inform Pierce that she is here!” Charlaine called after him, unable to suppress a laugh. Oh, the dear man!
About a half-hour ago, Nathanial had arrived and the two men had disappeared in the library. This was a rather preposterous charade as far as Charlaine was concerned. Of course, Caroline visited to see her fiancé, not that Charlaine blamed her for it, and Nathanial had come to call on her, Charlaine—she was certain of it! Why was it so important to stand on ceremony? Indeed, the ton was insistent upon upholding a myriad of rather ludicrous rules!
After Charlaine exchanged a few quick words with Caroline, the two men miraculously appeared as though they had not been waiting for her to arrive all along. While Caroline and Pierce were instantly drawn to one another like two magnets, Nathanial slowly drifted to where Charlaine sat. His gaze seemed glued to the gardens beyond, however, Charlaine could not shake the feeling that his interest was merely pretense. Why could he not simply admit that he had come to see her? After all, had they not become friends? “It is indeed a beautiful day, is it not?”
Charlaine laughed. “When we agreed on brutal honesty, did that include you as well?” She rose from her chair and came to stand in front of him.
Nathanial frowned. “What do you mean?”
Glancing at the love-struck couple to their left, Charlaine sighed. “You might not have lied, but neither were you completely truthful.”
“Pardon me?”
“Did you come to see Pierce,” Charlaine asked, her eyes holding his as she took a step closer, “or me?”
His chest rose and fell with an unsteady breath as he all but squirmed where he stood. It would seem Albert was not the only one unable to shed the doctrines of society’s iron grip. Then Nathanial swallowed, and his gaze steadied. “You.”
Charlaine rewarded him with a heartfelt smile. “Thank you.” She stepped away to gather her drawings together.
For a moment, Nathanial remained quiet before he moved closer. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?”
Charlaine turned her head to look at him. “I did.”
“Then why did you ask?” His frown deepened.
Straightening, Charlaine faced him. “To make certain you knew it as well.”
For a long moment, he simply looked at her, and she could see the thoughts churning in his mind. Indeed, it was in his nature to observe and analyze, to question and doubt everything before accepting it as true.
“Shall we dance?” Charlaine asked in order to distract Nathanial from his troublesome thoughts.
His gaze widened. “Dance?”
Charlaine nodded, then turned to look at Pierce and Caroline. “Would you like to join us? Emma said she’d play for us.”
Caroline’s smile brightened. “We’d love to.” Then she turned to her fiancé. “Do you dare?” she teased him.
Pierce cleared his throat, but could not quite manage to hide the smile that tugged on his lips. “I’m not much of a dancer,” he objected weakly.
Caroline’s gaze narrowed. “I recall how annoyingly insistent you were when we first met. You asked me to dance, and you wouldn’t accept any one of my objections.”
Pierce laughed. “As far as I recall, they were all excuses,” he replied as his hands reached for her. “I also recall that your insistence to refuse me won out.”
Charlaine smiled as she looked from one to the other. “She wouldn’t dance with you?”
Pierce cast his fiancée a meaningful look. “She stormed off.”
Caroline huffed out an irritated breath. “He came after me,” she clarified, trying to escape his embrace, but Pierce wouldn’t allow her to dance out of reach. “He pulled me into an empty room.” She slapped his shoulder playfully. “You almost ruined me.”
Pierce grinned wickedly. “If you’re expecting an apology, you’ll be waiting forever.”
Charlaine laughed. Nathanial, however, seemed uncertain how to interpret the moment they were witnessing. “Well, then let’s all dance now,” Charlaine exclaimed before the betrothed couple could lose themselves in an unnecessary argument. “Ah, there is Emma now.”
“Miss Glass,” Pierce greeted the young governess with a polite nod. “We’ve heard that you agreed to play for us.”
A hint of red came to her cheeks as she wrung her hands. “Miss Palmer asked if I would.”
Charlaine sighed and turned to look at Nathanial. “Why is it that some people have such trouble with intimacy?”
Nathanial’s eyes widened. “Pardon me?”
Ignoring the shocked look upon his face, Charlaine nodded toward Emma. “She calls me Charlaine all day long, but as soon as Pierce is around, I’m suddenly Miss Palmer again. Why do you think that is?”
Nathanial swallowed. “That, I do not know.”
Charlaine eyed him suspiciously. “Brutal honesty, remember?”
He sighed. “It is a sign of respect. One adheres to a societal standard in order to acknowledge another’s superiority or—”
Charlaine scoffed. “That is ridiculous! Do you respect me any less simply because you call me by my first name?”
“Of course not!” Nathanial looked utterly horrified at the mere suggestion of it. “That is not what I meant. I—”
“Perhaps we should dance,” Charlaine suggested before she turned to the betrothed couple. “Are you in agreement? Will you join us?”
After glancing at his fiancée, Pierce nodded. “What about you, Mr. Caswell?” he asked then, looking past her at Nathanial. “You do know that you have the right to refuse, do you not?” He chuckled.
Charlaine felt Nathanial tense beside her. “He does know,” she quickly replied. “However, he is too well-mannered to refuse me something I so dearly wish for.” She smiled sweetly at Pierce, who burst out laughing.
“And you take full advantage of that, do you not, dearest Charlie?”
Charlaine refrained from answering and merely batted her eyelashes at him. Again, Pierce laughed. Indeed, if he knew about Nathanial’s tendency to shy away from anything entertaining or adventurous, Pierce might not be so quick to judge her. After all, she was merely trying to tease the poor man out of his shell. He needed to live again, and dancing was a wonderful start. “Emma, if you please?”
Disappearing back inside, Emma took a seat at the pianoforte by the back wall. While the doors to the terrace remained opened, allowing her soft notes to drift outside, a heavy curtain hid her from their view as she preferred.
After all, it had taken all of Charlaine’s powers of persuasion to get her new friend to agree. Emma was painfully shy around guests, and even Pierce still made her feel on edge. Although he had only ever been kind to her, offering her a position in his household when Emma had been alone and without means, not knowing how to provide for her little girl, she still seemed to fear that all his generosity would one day come to an end.
Who knew what else she had suffered in her life that fear had been able to sink its claws into her this deeply?
Her fingers flew nimbly over the keys and a soft melody floated out across the terrace. Pierce pulled Caroline into his arms and, soon, they were moving together as one, their eyes locked and their thoughts no doubt far from the steps that carried them around.
“I promise I’ll do my best,” Charlaine promised Nathanial as she stepped toward him. “Perhaps I should take off my shoes after all?” She grinned at him.
Ignoring her teasing, he grasped her hand. “Remember, don’t look down.”
Charlaine nodded…and promptly looked down.
“I told you not to,” Nathanial reminded her with a bit of an annoyed huff.
Charlaine wanted to hug him, but forced herself to retort with equal measure. “Well, perhaps you shouldn’t have. Instead of telling me what not to do, how about you simply tell me what it is you want me to do.”
Nathanial sighed. “Very well. Look up.”
“Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” Charlaine teased and delighted in the way he tried not to roll his eyes at her. “If you’re annoyed with me, then say so.”
His gaze refused to meet hers.
“I dare you.”
The muscle in his jaw twitched.
“It’ll make you feel better.”
He ignored her.
Out of options, Charlaine decided to push the envelope. Her foot came down on his hard.
Nathanial gritted his teeth, his gaze still fixed on something above her head.
“Oops,” was all Charlaine said.
He drew in a slow breath, no doubt in order to calm himself.
Charlaine sighed. “I commend you on your discipline. However, I must say your lack of anger worries me.”
Finally, his eyes met hers. “Pardon me?”
“If you’re upset with me, then tell me,” she urged him. “After all, it’s not a secret. I can see that you’re upset with me.”
He swallowed hard. “A gentleman—”
“You’re not a gentleman,” Charlaine objected, “and I’m not a lady.”
His jaw dropped and he stared at her.
“You’re my friend, and I’m yours,” she clarified. “Brutal honesty, remember? Why are you so afraid to upset me?” His gaze moved from hers. “You weren’t when we first met. You told me without hesitation that you didn’t care for my company.”
His feet stilled, and the muscle in his jaw twitched yet again as he inhaled a deep breath, his gaze unsteady. “I care for your company now,” he finally mumbled, his voice barely audible as though he was not certain if he wanted her to hear him.
Charlaine smiled, touched by his words. Indeed, this soft, honest admission warmed her heart and made her realize how deeply she had come to care for him. “Look at me,” she whispered, smiling up at him. “I am your friend, and nothing you do will change that. I promise.”
His chest rose and fell with a deep breath.
“Despite everything I’ve done to you,” Charlaine said with a chuckle, “to your toes in particular, you’re still here.”
The ghost of a smile danced across his face.
“You haven’t run. You haven’t turned from me.” She squeezed his hand. “You’re still here. Why would you think I’m less steadfast in my affections?”<
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For a long time, he simply looked at her. She could see that he wanted to believe her, but his natural distrust stood in the way. Then, however, he nodded and his hand on hers tightened. “Look at me.”
Charlaine nodded, and they began to move again to the music.
“You can be quite tiresome,” Nathanial remarked after a while.
“I know.”
“And I don’t like it when you tease me.”
Charlaine grinned. “Are you certain? For whenever I do, your pulse beats faster.” His gaze stilled, and she could see that he was contemplating her words. “Would you mind if I took off my shoes?”
“Yes,” came his reply, quick and clear.
Charlaine laughed. “Why?”
“What would…?” His voice trailed off as he looked around the terrace…only to find it empty. “Where are Lord Markham and Miss Hawkins?”
Charlaine chuckled. “Perhaps they thought of something more tempting to do.”
The muscle in Nathanial’s jaw twitched. “You’re teasing me again.”
“I know.”
“I don’t like it.”
“Your pulse suggests otherwise.” As did her own. Indeed, it had been a long time since Charlaine had felt as much at peace as she did around Nathanial. She had been right to make him her friend, and it seemed he was beginning to see things her way.
Chapter Twenty-One
A Wedding at Long Last
The sun shone brightly as Lord and Lady Markham climbed into their carriage. Their wedding had been a small affair as neither one of them put much stock in societal expectations. Most who had been invited were family and friends, and true to their word, Zach and Becca had arrived back in London only the day before.
Seated across from them in the carriage on their way to the happy couple’s wedding breakfast, Nathanial wondered at the odd looks his brother and sister-in-law were casting in his direction. “Is something wrong?”