This guy Fernano has no clue of just how connected I am, so I would have definitely known well beforehand if he was a snitch or was working with the feds or the DEA. I had to let him know that there are grave consequences for such actions taken and even though I’m down playing the seriousness with all the jokes and laughing, I’m pretty sure he got the message loud and clear. Yeah, I’m sure of that.
15 TRACY’S DISCOVERIES
(Tracy)
It’s been two days since I heard anything from Sadique. I paged him, cussed him out in my head, stopped by his mom’s and nearly drove through the entire city looking for him or at least try to spot his car somewhere. After nearly calling the entire tri-state area local hospitals and police departments I was at least happy to hear he wasn’t somewhere hurt or worse. At this point I was pretty much through with him. I just wanted to be able to tell him to his face and find out why the hell he was playing games with me. He better have a story better than a Stephen Spielburg movie, E.T. better have him or something because his ass is through when he comes through that damn door.
I packed up all his belonging yesterday. I even asked Jackie to take some of the things to a storage unit. Whoever he was with, I hope it was worth it. I know he at least got one of my many messages. Why was he ignoring me? I had planned on going back over to his mothers, but I didn’t want to alarm her. Sadique was his mother’s only child. After her stroke he’d made it like a habit to either visit her or talk to her on a daily basis. After his father died last year she became his sole responsibility. I helped out when I could, but he mostly insisted on taking care of her alone, as he would say it, he owed her that much.
Jackie suggested I look through his other cell phone and give his friends a call but I couldn’t play myself like that. Sadique had two cell phones with the same number. Why he did that was beyond me. He would often just switched phones like that. He said “your phone is like your jewelry it represents you and compliments your clothes.” Sometimes his wardrobe would determine which phone he would use or which case cover he would decorate it with. He just could never use both of them at the same time one phone would have to be turned off in order to use the other. Now what would I look like calling other people looking for my man? There was one good thing that I can honestly say about our relationship that I really liked was that we respected each other’s space and privacy no matter what. But time is of the essence and he hasn’t called and my patience is growing smaller by the second.
I have a 10:30 a.m. appointment with Mr. Rivers from the pet cemetery. Yes, I’m going to bury my dog. I planned to bury Freeway day after tomorrow and had a few small details to handle. There was still the issue as to who broke into my apartment. I was still kinda puzzled about the phone call that I thought I had gotten from him after I laid down to take a nap that day. Was that really him on the phone, or was I really dreaming? The police determined that whoever it was must’ve had a key. They even had the nerve to ask me if maybe I suspected Sadique could have done this. Hell no! I told them, we never fought, maybe a few minor disagreements but Sadique has never been violent with me.
I had to force myself out of bed this morning and I’d been awake ever since 4:00 a.m. I just couldn’t seem get myself together. If I stayed in bed I wouldn’t have to deal with any of this, but I managed to drag myself to the bathroom and boy oh boy why did I look in the mirror? That only made matters even worse. My hair was a mess and I had bags under my eyes which were swollen from crying. I looked just as bad as I felt. I stared at myself in the mirror for a while. “Look at you Tray? You letting a nigga get to you like this?” I scolded myself. I had no intentions on throwing a pity party but that’s so easier said then done. I’m hurt, how can I hide or ignore what I was feeling?
All my life I’ve worked hard, treated people well, made a name for myself in the news business. I may have rubbed a few people the wrong due to my profession but I don’t deserve this shit. I’ve given Sadique everything a man could ask for, ok maybe not everything, my momma didn’t raise no fool. He has absolutely no idea of how many men I turned down for him, if he only knew how many. I felt myself suddenly getting angry, I reached in Sadique’s nightstand and found a half of a blunt. Yessss, today I AM going to smoke me some weed. I hadn’t smoked in weeks so I quickly lit it up and took a nice slow long drag on it.
Sadique would have a fit if he came home and I was smoking, he had a lot of nerve. One day he came home on this new tip about women acting like ladies. When he met me I was high, so what’s the problem? I thought as I smoked. After only a few pulls, I was already feeling high. I kinda miss smoking a little too. Sadique and I were definitely going to have to talk about my smoking again. Who died and left him in charge? I thought as I headed into the bathroom.
After I showered and changed, I headed into the kitchen for something light to eat. There were quite a few things I felt like eating too. Food was like my comfort when things seemed to be going wrong, and right now, I have the munchies. After losing 35 pounds, I was determined not to gain it back, so I chose a banana and a half glass of skim milk. Fight the power! I told myself as I headed into the living room. That’s when the telephone rang. “Hello?” “Tracy!?” The voice on the other end stated. “Yes, who is this?” I asked. “It’s Carmen Tracy, It’s about Mrs. Parr. When I came over this morning I found her in here crying and screaming and I can’t calm her down. I tried calling and paging Sadique for the last few hours but I got no answer. Can you come over quickly please? I don’t know what to do if she doesn’t calm down. I’m going to call her doctor because she’s going to make herself sick.” She complained. “I’m on my way, I’ll be right over, and by the way Carmen, did you see or hear from Sadique yesterday?” “No why?” She asked.
“It’s not important.” I replied. “We’ll talk about it later.” I said and grabbed my handbag and car keys. Carmen was a young woman that lived next door who looked out for Sadique’s mom from time to time when either of us was unable to do so. Although Social Security paid for a home health aide daily from 12:00 pm. to 4:00 p.m. Sadique would give Carmen some money for checking in on his mom also after she’d dropped her son off at the babysitter. She would come by and make breakfast and keep his mom company. Sometimes Carmen would wash her hair and file her nails when needed. She helped take care of most of the girly things when I couldn’t. I never really knew what she did for a living, and honestly it never even crossed my mind until just now. I think I remember Sadique mentioning once that she had been a stripper but I paid it no mind.
Carmen didn’t look like the stripper type to me although she was very pretty. She seemed to lack confidence and came across as somewhat insecure by some of her phone conversations that I would ofter overhear whenever we were all at Sadique’s mother’s place. She always seemed to be playing the role of the damsel in distress, except when Sadique was around. She acted like she had her thing all together when he would talk to her about his mom. I could tell by the way she would gaze at him that she had a crush on him at one time, but after seeing me throughout these few years and now with us engaged to be married I guess her little girly crush on him had passed. I drove quickly over to Mrs. Parr’s apartment. Luckily for me the traffic wasn’t too bad. I pulled up in front of the apartment building about 10 minutes later, got out walked over to the building complex and buzzed the door bell. Carmen buzzed me in, not even bothering to ask who I was and I went inside the building and made my way to Mrs. Parr’s apartment. Her screams could be heard throughout almost the entire floor. What had her so upset? I wondered.
A part of me wanted to race down the hall to help, and another part wanted to turn back and run away. Something was really wrong. Mrs. Parr was the one who found her husband dead in the bathtub after he had a stroke. Her doctor said that sometimes her mind would play tricks on her and she would relive the whole ordeal again. There was an occasion when she she left the house and was missing for hours. The NJ State Troopers Police found her walking on the one of the exi
ts near the New Jersey Turnpike. She had told them that she was going back home because she couldn’t stand the city life anymore. They finally returned her back here a few hours later. Thank God that she was okay and no harmed. That was when Sadique took it upon himself to make sure that he had someone nearby to check up on her on a more regularly basis. I thought as I neared her apartment. “They didn’t have to do him like thaaat!” I overheard her crying out hysterically. “Go get my baby and bring him hooome please! Just get him heere, momma gonna make him better!” She sighed out distraughtly as I walked up to her door.
I really didn’t know how to deal with this situation because I had never had to deal with her without Sadique being her. Where the fuck, are you Sadique? C’mon now Tray you can handle this, face your fears head on! I told myself as I took a deep breath and turned the doorknob, opened the door and stepped into the living room where Carmen and Ms. Parr were. “Momma, what’s wrong!?” I asked as I walked up to her and held her closely. “Where is he, did you go get him!?” She cried out. “They called me and told me to come and get him!” She screamed. “What are you taking about ma ma?” I asked. “Daddy is gone! I know he gone!” She screamed loudly as she stared at me strangely. “Henry’s gone and now my baby done went to be with him! I gotta see him before I let him go! Take me, will you take me to him pleeease!?” She screamed out hysterically. “Take you where!? Please Mrs. Parr!” Carmen asked as we tried to console her. “To the place where the put all the dead bodies at that’s where he at!” She simply broke down and said. “What? Where!? The morgue?” I asked as my heart skipped a beat at what she just said. “Momma, why would we have to go the morgue? Who’s in the morgue?” Carmen asked. “Some men came by here early this morning. “What men ma ma?” I screamed as my heart began beating faster. I was hoping that she wasn’t having another delusional episode and wasn’t making any of this up. I speculated as I took a few deep breaths. Carmen tried to speak.
“Who was it? Who came by Mrs. Parr, did they leave a name?” She asked. “No, my favorite show was on so I told them to come back later. But they told me he was gone already!” She sighed and began to cry again. “Oh Lord!” she said. “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, she sang, looking away as she sat in her chair and rocked back and forth. One of them left a card. I dropped it over there on the floor.” she pointed. I looked down at my feet and Carmen walked across the room and found a card nearby on the floor and picked it up. “Detective Devon Jackson, homicide, West District Precinct.” Carmen read out. “That’s the same cop from the other night." I thought out loud. My stomach started knotting up and my heart was literally running a marathon right now but I didn’t want to lose it, not in front of Sadique’s mom because she was already distraught enough. “Would you like for me to call him?” Carmen asked with tears beginning to form in her eyes. I nodded my head because I couldn’t speak.
“Yes, but not here, not in front of her. Was what I thought I said to her but I didn’t because I couldn’t think straight. “I have to step outside for a moment.” I told Carmen. “You need a smoke?” She asked. “Yeah”, I said, but I didn’t really need that. I felt like I was going to have an anxiety attack. “I’m sorry, no I just need some air.” I said as I grabbed my purse and stepped out the door and into the hallway. I could hear Carmen sobbing as I closed the door behind me. I stepped down the hall and exited the building. A couple of people spoke to me as I stood in front of the building. I walked towards my car in a daze. What am I doing? I can’t make this call. My mind was racing a million thoughts.
Jesus please send help, I could really use you right now. I thought as I reached in my purse and grabbed my phone. Just as I was about to open it and make a phone call it rang. The caller I.D. read: BOSS. As bad as I didn’t feel like being bothered, maybe I needed to hear from Rome before I make this call. So I answered the phone. “How’s the story going?” He immediately asked? “I can’t answer that right now.” I stated. “It’s not a good time Rome.” “Is everything okay?” He casually asked. I was too choked up to answer. “Tray?” He called out. Something about his voice got to me, and I finally lost it. I was crying and trying to talk at the same time. “I... He’s... I think Sadique might be..I paused not being able to fathom the next few words that I was about to say. Sadique might be.. dead!” A young man was standing in front of the door next to me looking me right in the face. He overheard what I was saying. “Tray, did something happen, where are you? Tell me where you are!?” He asked.
“I’m, I’m standing on Ocean and Bartholdi Avenues. Hurry, I need you Rome.” I heard myself cry out as I shut my cell phone and leaned against my car. The same young man that was in front of the building was now standing nearby with three other young men, one of them watching me with a smirk on his face. There was something about them that made me feel real uncomfortable, so I walked back towards the apartment building and stood on the front steps. Carmen was in the window looking for me I guess. The look on her face told me she could feel my pain.
“Are you okay!?” She asked from the window. No, I’m waiting for a friend, I mean my boss. “Mrs. Parr is napping now.” Carmen told me. “I finally managed to calm her down. You want some company out there?” I nodded back sadly. Carmen disappeared from the window and a few minutes later she was on the front stoop with me. “What you gonna do? Did you call that detective?” She asked. “I’m afraid to. I never felt so confused in my life. For the first time in a long time I really don’t know what to do.” Before I could say another word, Rome pulled up to the curb like a bat out of hell. “Damn hommie, what you trying to do? Slow your roll my man!” One of the young thugs yelled out from across the street. Rome looked over at them but ignored them as he got out of his car and started walking towards me quickly. “You better keep on going!” Another yelled. “You motherfuckers need to just keep it moving!” Carmen called out. “Under the circumstances, I’ll keep my mouth shut, so how bad is it?” Rome said as he gave me a hug. “Tray, do you know those guys?”
“Just some neighborhood punks, they be selling drugs around the corner.” Carmen interrupted. “Those motherfuckers got some nerve.” She mumbled. I began to cry. “What happened to Sadique?” Rome asked Carmen. “His mother said that some detectives came by earlier. She seemed a bit incoherent but we think she was saying that they wanted her to call them. They left a card with her.” Carmen answered. Rome looked at me sadly now. “Did you call, did they confirm if it was him or not?” He asked. “No not yet, im too afraid to call Rome, I’m praying it isn’t, but I haven’t been able to reach him for almost 2 days now and my gut is telling me something.” I confessed. “I pray not Tray". Rome said sadly he as gave me another embrace. “Uhmm Uhmm.” Carmen interrupted. “Oh, I’m sorry Carmen, I don’t mean to be rude. This is my good friend and boss Jerome Mathis.” “Nice to meet you Carmen,” Rome said sadly as he reached out and shook her hand.
“The pleasure’s all mine.” Carmen replied. It was obvious that Carmen found Rome attractive, like most women did, but I don’t think he even noticed she was there more or less flirting with her looks. “Rome, can you go with me to the hospital.” I said. “Okay, you want me to call Jackie? He asked. “No I’ll call her later. I want to be sure first.”I said. “Can I ride with you?” Carmen asked. “Thanks Carmen, I could use all the support I can get right now.” “I’ll go let Ms. Staten know where we’re going. She’s a friend of Mrs. Parr. I’ll have her watch her until we get back.” Carmen said as she rushed back into the building.
“We’ll wait for you in the car.” Rome stated as he opened the door for me. “You sure you don’t want to call first? I wish I could say or do something to make you feel better.” Rome stated. “I don’t want to call. I want to just go down there and see what’s going on. Why would they come by here and give her their card after I just spoke to this detective Johnson about my dog earlier and he didn’t mention anything about Sadique, and I’m sure he knew that was him because his name was also on the lease there, and they aske
d me did I think that he was involved.” I said as my mind raced with many questions. I glanced over at Rome. “Oh, you’re doing what a best friend could ever do Rome, you’re here that’s all that matters, thanks for coming.”
“That’s what friends are for and besides, I always got your back, and I always will. Maybe it just slipped his mind Tray. Sometimes those detectives might get busy with other cases, especially with all the homicides happening in this God forsaken city. ” Rome stated. “Yes I know, maybe you’re right, thanks again.” I said and smiled. Carmen was back outside minutes later and climbed into his car. “This is a nice ride you have.” “Thank you Carmen.” He replied as he pulled off slowly. Rome held my hand the whole ride to the morgue and that didn’t seem to go unnoticed by Carmen as we rode in silence to the hospital. Thoughts of Sadique began to run through my mind, his smile, his touch, his presence, his everything. I started feeling bad that I thought he was off somewhere cheating on me, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe that he could be dead. I just couldn’t.
Knowing now that he might have been fighting for his life somewhere or even thinking of me before he died brought me to more tears. Maybe Freeway and Sadique were connected some kind of way. I closed my eyes and rested my head against the headrest. I didn’t notice we had pulled into the hospital’s parking lot when we finally did. I called an old friend of mine Dr. Bobby Dodson, he’s the chief coroner. He said he’d have someone meet us at the front desk.” Rome said.
“When did you call do that?” I asked. “I called when I was on my way over to you guys.” He replied as he parked and we exited his car.We all walked into the hospital, feeling as if we were at a funeral. I had only visited this place a few times covering stories but this trip was very different. It felt cold, empty and a little scary this time. An older, but rather attractive white woman met us at the front desk. “Good to see you again Mr. Mathis.” She said before we even reached her. “Hey Bobby, thanks for your time. This is my friend Tracy Truesdale and her friend Carmen.” He introduced. “Hi Tracy, Mr. Mathis has briefly explained to me why you’re here, my heart goes out to you, you know? Not knowing can be just as bad.” She explained. “Let’s go to my office, it’s down the hall this way.”Bobby and Rome made small talk while Carmen and I held hands and walked in silence. She led us to a well furnished office. Not the kind of office one would expect a coroner to have. Her office looked like it may have belonged in a board room. No mess, well organized, and she even had a candle lit.
Introduction To Hard 2 Da Kore (Hard2daKore Book 1) Page 11