“You mean he’s gay?”
“One hundred percent.”
“How do you know?”
“It was obvious. Randy didn’t respond to me in a manly way at all, you dig? He enjoyed my style and my company, but he never once looked at me as a woman. Not even when I put my hand on his thigh! He studied my clothes and makeup carefully, but he didn’t look into my eyes, or at my lips or breasts, the way most men do. Take my word for it, Paige. He’s a pansy… Hey, I’ve got a good idea!” she said, light bulb flashing over her head. “We should fix him up with Willy!”
I couldn’t believe my ears. “Not if he’s a
murderer, we shouldn’t!”
“Oh, yeah, I forgot about that.”
See what I was up against? Getting Abby to focus on foul play instead of foreplay was like fighting a forest fire with a squirt gun.
“What about Binky?” I asked. “How did he behave? Did you find out anything about him?”
“Plenty,” she said, giving me a frisky grin. “He’s got a fabulous build and the most hypnotic hazel eyes I’ve ever seen. And there’s nothing queer in
his closet. He kept touching my hand and brushing his leg against mine under the table. If Jimmy and I weren’t tight right now, I would’ve made a big play for Binky tonight. He’s really hot, Dot!”
I couldn’t take it anymore. I jumped up from the couch and fled into the kitchen. (It was either that or strangle my best friend.) “I’m going to make a pot of coffee,” I told her, struggling to keep my voice and emotions down to a temperate level. “It’s almost five o’clock. I have to go to work soon.”
Abby followed me into the kitchen and sat down at the table, propping her elbows on the yellow Formica and planting her chin in her upturned hands. “Hey, what’s your problem, Paige?” she asked. “Why the brush-off? Don’t you want to hear the rest of my story?”
“That depends,” I said, filling the coffeepot with water.
“On what?”
I set the pot down on the counter and turned to look her square in the face. “On whether you have anything to report about Binky besides his physical attributes and sexual inclinations.”
Her cheeks reddened and her nostrils flared. “So
that’s it!” she snorted. “You’ve got your uptight tushy in a twist again. You think I’m too preoccupied with the sex angle.”
“Well, aren’t you?”
“Yes-but that’s the most important part!” she cried. “And if you weren’t such a prig, you’d know I’m right. Whoever killed Gray was in a vicious rage-so vicious he slashed poor Gray to shreds. This wasn’t one of your average, grab-the-money-and-run murders, you dig? It was a crime of real
passion. And where does passion come from, Miss Prissy Pants? Love, hate, jealousy, or sex-that’s where!”
Okay, she had a good point. But it certainly wasn’t the only point. I mean, as helpful as it was to know the sexual leanings of our suspects, it wasn’t all we needed to know. Not by a long shot. And right now I was looking for more practical information. Something useful and definitive. Something we could roll up our sleeves and work with.
“Look, I know sex is important, Ab,” I said, softening my tone and sitting down across from her at the table. “It’s a major force in life, and sometimes death. It’s the primary cause of most passion crimes. But there are other kinds of passion, too, you know. People can be fiercely passionate about their families, or their bank accounts, or their careers-or even their
wardrobes,” I stressed. “Present company excluded, of course.”
“Ha ha,” she said, with a menacing sneer.
I gave her a friendly wink and went on. “So that’s why I was questioning the narrow focus of your investigation, Ab. Especially in relation to Binky. I could be wrong, but it seems to me that something other than sex-namely professional jealousy and a raging desire to advance his own career-might have given Barnabas Kapinsky a strong motive for murder.”
Abby cocked her head and arched both eyebrows. “Aha!” she whooped. “I get your drift. You think Binky did it!”
“I didn’t say that!” I protested. “I was just saying that
if Binky did kill Gray, it probably didn’t have anything to do with sex. It was more likely because he was jealous of Gray and wanted his job.”
Abby gave me a sober look. “Well, if that was the case, he got what he wanted.”
“Huh?”
“Gray’s job,” she said. “They gave it to Binky. He starts tomorrow.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really!” she said, rolling her eyes. “Why would I lie?”
“But how could he start tomorrow?” I probed. “Doesn’t he have to learn the part first and rehearse the role on stage?”
“Sure, but Binky swears that won’t take him very long. I heard him talking about it with Elia. He says he knows the whole part backwards and forwards already-that all he needs is a little stage direction.”
“Ver-r-ry interesting,” I said, wheels turning.
Proud that she’d captured my attention, Abby quickly continued her report. “Elia told Binky he’d have to be at the theater first thing in the morning to rehearse, and that he’d have to stay there for the rest of the day, through both the matinee and the evening performances, to study the play’s presentation and be available in case he’s needed on stage.”
“Gosh, that was fast!” I said. “These Broadway boys don’t mess around.”
“In this case, they didn’t have to. Binky is perfect for the part and very well-prepared.”
“Yeah, a little
too well-prepared, if you ask me.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean Binky must have been preparing to take over this role long before Gray was murdered.”
“Ohhhhh…” Abby said, as my words sank in. “I see what you’re saying. Maybe Binky knew Gray’s job was going to become available because he intended to create the opening himself.”
“Exactly.”
“
Oy vey!” she shrieked, eyeballs bulging. “Somebody better warn Ben right away!”
“Who? Wha-”
“Ben!” she cried. “Ben Gazzara! If Binky killed Gray just to get the
understudy role, how far do you think he’ll go to land the lead? Ben better get himself a bodyguard immediately. His days are numbered!”
“Simmer down, sis,” I said, smiling at Abby’s dramatic outburst. “Now
you’re making a tsimmis. Let me remind you that we don’t have any idea if Binky is guilty or not. In fact, what little knowledge we do have points in other directions entirely. The creep who was shadowing me tonight definitely wasn’t Binky, and the creep who bashed me on the head last night had to be either Blackie or Aunt Doobie-not Binky.
“We’ve got more suspects than we can handle,” I went on. “We can’t run around making any wild, unfounded accusations. And we certainly can’t tell Gazzara his life may be in danger. He would call in the cops, and Flannagan would arrest
us instead of Binky.”
“Well, we’ve got to do something!” Abby blustered. She jumped up from the table and started pacing the floor again.
“I agree with you,” I said. “Not because I’m afraid for Gazzara’s life-which, at this point, I can assure you I’m
not-but because I’m determined to discover who ended Gray’s life. I’m not kidding, Abby. I’m going to find out who killed Gray Gordon if it’s the last thing I do!” (The minute those words escaped my mouth, I wished I’d put them a different way.)
“Any idea how you’re going to accomplish this stunt?” Abby asked, suddenly stopping her pacing. She stepped over to the kitchen counter and began spooning coffee into the waiting pot.
“The only way I know how,” I said. “By following every lead and digging up all the evidence I can.”
“So what’s next on the agenda?”
“The first thing I want to do is get inside Binky’s apartment,”
I said. “There are a couple of things I want to look for, and tomorrow-I mean, today-will be the perfect opportunity. Binky won’t be home all day, so I’ll have plenty of time to pick the lock and comb the place for clues.”
“Do you know where Binky lives?”
“Yes, over on Third Avenue between Thirty-second and Thirty-third. I got the address from the phone book. There’s only one Barnabas Kapinsky listed, and the phone number matches the one in Gray’s message pad.”
Abby snapped the lid on the coffee and put the pot on the stove to perk. Then she twirled around, folded her arms across her chest and-speaking in a voice as firm as flint-announced, “I’m going with you.”
“Oh, no you’re not!” I sputtered. “I can’t have you snooping around underfoot, messing up the evidence, making noise and alerting the neighbors!”
“Then I’ll go without you,” she declared. “I have as much right to case Binky’s apartment as you do. You said every girl for herself, remember?”
“Yes, but I didn’t mean-”
“I don’t care what you meant! I’m going to search Binky’s pad and that’s final. I’ve got a good eye and I might spot something you’d miss. So what’s it gonna be, Lee? With you or without you-it’s all the same to me.”
I couldn’t let her go alone, but I couldn’t stop her, either. “I give up,” I groaned. “I’ll call you from the office later and tell you when to meet me.”
“Good,” she said, snatching her purse, sunglasses, and Rita Hayworth wig off the table and heading for the door. “Your coffee will be ready soon. Better drink lots of it or you’ll fall asleep at work.”
“Don’t you want some?” I asked.
“Not a drop, pop!” she said, with a goofy grin. “I’m going home to take a nap.”
Chapter 32
AFTER ABBY LEFT, I DRANK TWO CUPS of coffee, took a shower, got dressed for work, then smoked a bunch of cigarettes and drank some more coffee. I’d like to tell you that I went through these motions with a fair measure of grace and composure, but the truth was I was bawling the whole time. I couldn’t get the picture of Dan kissing that woman out of my mind. If I’d had a gun, I would have blown my brains out just for relief. (Okay, okay! Maybe that’s a slight exaggeration-but what do you expect from a writer named Paige Turner?)
Finally, after an hour or two of sobbing and self-torture, it was time for me to head to the office. I dried my swollen eyes, blew my runny red nose, applied a new coat of mascara, and hit the sidewalk for the subway.
I was in such a muddled frame of mind, I didn’t notice the change right away. In fact, I walked all the way to Sheridan Square without perceiving any difference at all. But then suddenly, just as I was heading down the steps to the subway station, the realization swept over me like an ocean breeze. My face wasn’t dripping with sweat. My feet weren’t sizzling inside my stilettos. My breathing was almost normal. The heat wave had finally broken!
Exhaling a grateful sigh, I descended the rest of the steps and ventured into the tiled depths of the subway. It was even cooler underground. I took a seat on the uptown local, which had just pulled into the station, and then, as the screaking train pulled out again, began reading the overhead advertisements, hoping they’d help me keep my mind off Dan. I did not want to start crying again.
In the ad directly across the aisle, a sexy blonde in a slinky black dress was lounging on the “Airliner Reclining Seat” of a new 1955 Rambler, inviting all onlookers inside for a “Deep Coil Ride.” Next to her, an ad pushing “Houses for the Atomic Age!” proclaimed the “unique design for these all-concrete blast-resistant homes was based on principles learned at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.” And next to that pack of lies danced a pack of Old Gold cigarettes. I say
danced because the package of smokes was, by some miracle of modern science, prancing around on a pair of shapely feminine (i.e., human) legs. The copy beneath the familiar image said, “No song and dance about medical claims-Old Gold’s specialty is to give you a TREAT instead of a TREATMENT!”
Soon tiring of the absurd advertisements, I closed my aching, bloodshot eyes and gave them a rest until we pulled into the Times Square station. Then I hopped off the train and headed for the crosstown shuttle. Turning my head for a second as I was walking toward the gate to the shuttle, I caught a glimpse of a man in dark clothing sneaking along in the rush hour crowd behind me.
Oh, my god! Is this guy going to follow me everywhere? And what’s his motive, anyway? Is he just looking for a good place to kill me?
Emboldened by the presence of so many people, and determined to catch the creeper off-guard and get a good look at his face, I pretended that I hadn’t noticed him and continued walking ahead for about thirty yards. And then suddenly, without any delay or warning, I jerked to a halt, jumped around in a fast about-face and landed in a menacing combat stance.
“Yeow!!” cried the startled old man right behind me. He was so taken aback by my sudden maneuver that he lurched, stumbled, and dropped his walking stick on the floor.
“Oh, I’m so sorry, sir!” I stammered, hurrying to help him balance himself, then picking up his cane. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“Eh?” he croaked, holding a gnarly hand up to one ear. “What did you say?”
Oh, dear. Deaf as well as lame. (Can I pick ’em, or what?)
“I said I didn’t mean to frighten you!” I shouted.
The old man still didn’t hear me. But Blackie, or Aunt Doobie, or whoever had been tailing me, must have heard me loud and clear, because when I raised my eyes and looked around for him, he was gone.
Pfffffft! Vanished completely.
Just par for the course, I thought, handing the wobbly old man his cane and tucking my arm under his elbow. He looked shaken and disoriented. “Can I help you, sir?” I asked, leaning down and screaming directly into his ear. “Where do you want to go?”
“Er, ah, ub… shuttle,” he burbled, “eastbound.” A thin line of spit was dribbling down his chin.
I gave him a big smile and slowly guided him toward the gate, truly glad we were taking the same train. There are times in a fearful, crazed, heartbroken girl’s life when she needs a little company.
I BOUGHT A CORN MUFFIN IN THE LOBBY coffee shop, then took the elevator up to nine. As far as I could tell, nobody had followed me into the building. I still felt a little uneasy, though, so when I exited the elevator and saw that the long hallway leading to my office was totally deserted, I-well, let’s just say I overreacted (that’s a much nicer word than panicked, don’t you think?). I ran (okay, rocketed) down to the
Daring Detective door, unlocked it and hopped inside, then slammed it right behind me and locked it tight again. None of my coworkers were due to arrive for at least thirty minutes, and I didn’t want any surprise visitors.
But I was
very surprised when, ten minutes later-after I’d finished my muffin and begun sorting the mail-somebody started twisting the knob and throwing their weight against the door. (At least that’s what it sounded like: a large body thumping repeatedly against a flat wooden blockade.) My first impulse was to hide under my desk, but I didn’t want to behave like a coward (or get a run in my new nylons), so I jumped to my feet instead. Then I tiptoed over to the door and held my ear as close to the jamb as I dared, listening for clues to the body-bumping knob-twister’s identity.
I couldn’t tell a thing from the wrenching and thumping sounds, but the reeking wet cigar smell was a dead giveaway.
“Mr. Crockett?” I timidly inquired. “Is that you?”
“Yeah!” he bellowed. “Open up!”
Whew!
I unlocked the door, pulled it wide, and watched my boss propel himself inside and over to the coat tree, smoldering cigar stub clenched between his teeth. Without a single hello or how-do-you-do (or even a query as to why the office door had been locked) he removed his hat and jacket and hooked them on the tree. Then he plucked the chewed-up, nearly burnt-out stogie from the
corner of his mouth and squashed it in Pomeroy’s ashtray.
“Coffee,” he grunted, heading down the aisle of the common workroom toward his private office in the back. “And bring me the morning papers.”
“You’re in early today, Mr. Crockett,” I said to his retreating back. “I haven’t made the coffee yet.”
As he turned to enter his office he shot me a grumpy look. “So, what are you waiting for? Do it now.”
I was so used to Crockett’s brusque, disrespectful style, I didn’t bother to get upset. I just picked up the heavy Coffeemaster and lugged it into the ladies’ room to wash it and fill it with water. Luckily, there were no suspicious, dark-clothed characters lurking in the hallway.
When I returned to the office, sloshing coffeemaker balanced on one hip, Lenny was standing in the reception area just inside the door. He was carrying his art portfolio in one hand, his lunchbox in the other, and he was huffing and puffing like a long-distance runner on his last legs. I wasn’t surprised that Lenny was out of breath. When a thin, unathletic fellow is terrified of elevators and has to climb nine flights to get to work, a certain amount of huffing and puffing is to be expected.
“Hiya, Zimmerman,” I said, setting the Coffeemaster down on the service table and measuring out the Maxwell House. “How’s tricks?”
“Okay,” he said, still panting for air. “It’s not so… hot today, thank… God.”
“Yes, the good Lord’s smiling on us now,” I said. “But it’s the least he could do, wouldn’t you say? For the past five days he’s been laughing his almighty head off.” I plugged in the coffeemaker, walked over to my desk, and started arranging the morning newspapers in a tidy pile.
“Hey, speaking of days past,” Lenny said, his breathing returning to normal, “where did you disappear to yesterday? You left work in such a hurry, you didn’t even say good night.”
“I had to go meet somebody, and I couldn’t be late. I’m working on an important story assignment, don’t ya know.” I gave Lenny a conspiratorial wink, hoping that would mollify his curiosity. I didn’t feel like discussing the case or telling him what happened at the Actors Studio. And I didn’t even want to
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