by B. J. Hoff
When she finally rose from her knees, it was to realize that, like Fannie, her heart—the worst hurt of all—didn’t hurt anymore.
35
A MEETING IN RIVERHAVEN
Mind moved yet seemed to stop
As ’twere a spinning-top.
W.B. YEATS
Toward the end of February, the area was visited by a surprisingly mild day. The snow had mostly melted, and after weeks of bitter cold, the early morning sunshine brought a sigh of relief and teasing thoughts of the spring to come.
Rachel hadn’t seen hide nor hair of Gideon for days. Concerned for him and feeling a restlessness brought on by the nice weather, she decided to take the buggy into Riverhaven and visit him at work.
Had Mamma and Fannie not promised to spend the day helping Rebecca Knepp at her house, she would have asked them to go with her. Rebecca had broken both her wrist and ankle on the ice a week ago, and though her daughter Emma and the two younger girls were good to help, Mamma had volunteered herself and Fannie to lend a hand today and give the children a respite. The two of them would do some baking and housecleaning, as well as take care of whatever mending and sewing might have accumulated since Rebecca’s accident.
On the way into town, even though she would have liked her mother and sister’s company, Rachel had to admit she was enjoying the solitary buggy ride. It was too early yet to see any real signs of spring, but the warm sunshine, deceptive though it was, at least allowed her to pretend winter would soon be bowing out.
As she pulled up in front of Karl Webber’s carpenter shop, she hoped Gideon wasn’t too busy to talk for a few minutes. Mr. Webber had always been patient and generous in allowing family members to drop in, so she wasn’t worried about getting him in trouble at his job.
After she saw her brother, she hoped to make a quick trip across the street to the general store. She intended to check on an order of sewing supplies for Mamma and some paint for her birdhouses that should be in any day. Spring always brought an increased demand for the birdhouses, and she wanted to get ahead on the orders she already had waiting before she received any more.
The thought of visiting with Gideon combined with a trip to the general store put Rachel in an almost giddy mood. Eager to share her lighthearted frame of mind with her brother, she got out of the buggy, tethered Slowpoke—so named by Gideon—then hurried into the building.
She was surprised to find her brother alone, and more than a little releived to see that he was still dressed in his plain clothing. At least he hadn’t completely turned his back on their Amish ways. Rachel was also pleased to note that his expression brightened when she walked in.
But not for long. Only a moment after they exchanged greetings and brought each other up to date about things at home and each other, Gideon’s mood seemed to change.
He indicated she should sit down on one of the finished chairs opposite where he was working. “Karl won’t be back for another hour or so. He had an appointment of some kind.”
“You don’t look so happy, bruder. Is something wrong?”
“Karl’s selling the shop,” he said without preamble, his tone leaving no question as to how he felt about the matter. “They’re moving back to Cleveland. His wife’s parents are elderly, and they need care, so they’re leaving as soon as he gets a buyer for the shop and their house.”
“Oh, Gideon, I’m sorry. But surely whoever buys the shop will keep you on. I should think they’d be pleased to have someone with your experience.”
He lifted one shoulder in a quick shrug. “I sure hope so. I like my job pretty well, you know. I’d hate to lose it. But I hate to lose Karl as an employer too. He’s been real good to work for.”
“Well don’t lose heart. I’m sure the new buyer will want you to stay. Anyone would be foolish to let such a good employee go.”
He smiled, but it was a little wobbly. “So—how’s Fannie doing?”
“She’s well. But she misses you.”
He glanced away. “I’ll come see her real soon. I miss her too.”
Rachel hesitated. “You can always come home to stay, you know,” she said quietly.
He looked at her. “No, Rachel. This is where I need to be. At least for now.”
Rachel didn’t want to spoil their visit with an argument, so she merely nodded in a gesture of acceptance. “I hear Dr. Sebastian came to see you with the news about him and Mamma. Were you surprised?”
“Definitely. But after I thought about it, some things started to add up. Looking back I’d say he’s been sweet on her for a long time.”
“I think you’re right.” She paused. “Mamma’s really happy, Gideon. I think this is a good thing for her—for both of them.”
“Seems strange though. Mamm married to Doc. Hard to take it in.”
“Are you glad?”
He seemed to consider her question. “I think so. Doc’s a good man. But like I said, it’s strange. It’ll take some getting used to.”
“Well,” Rachel said while getting up, “you’ll have plenty of time to get used to it. Mamma said it might take as long as a year or two before Dr. Sebastian can be baptized and join the church.”
He nodded. “Has the bishop approved it yet?”
“No, they haven’t heard anything. And I think they’re both getting really nervous.”
They both smiled at that. “I should let you get back to work,” Rachel said, not really wanting to leave him. She did miss her brother, even more than she’d thought she would. Still, he had work to do, so she told him goodbye and started for the door.
Before she left, she turned back with a reminder. “Remember, you said you’d come for a visit soon.”
“I will. You take care going home now.”
Rachel wasn’t sure, but she thought she sensed a sadness in him as their eyes met. She didn’t like to think of Gideon being unhappy. All the same she couldn’t help but hope that he missed them. At least a little. Maybe that would prompt him to come home to stay.
Rachel was just paying Mr. Whitlock, the manager of the general store, for her order when the bell over the entrance door announced a customer. She turned to look, swallowing a sharp breath of surprise when Jeremiah Gant walked in.
Even though he had to lean slightly on his cane and his limp was pronounced, he was still one of the tallest men she’d ever known.
He was also the most handsome man she’d ever known. In his severely tailored black coat and what Fannie called his “captain’s cap,” a lock of dark hair escaping to fall over his forehead, he very nearly took her breath away.
He saw her at once, and Rachel felt herself flush when his eyes widened with obvious pleasure at the sight of her. He stopped just past the threshold, standing to one side until she’d finished at the counter.
After thanking Mr. Whitlock, she started toward Jeremiah. He met her before she could reach him, the smile in his eyes like a touch.
“Rachel,” he said softly, removing his cap. The way he said her name made it hard to breathe. Moreover, she seemed unable to find her voice.
“I’ve been hoping to see you,” he said, “but I never imagined running into you here.”
“How—how did you get here?” Even when she finally managed to speak, her voice didn’t sound like her own. At least not to her.
If he noticed her strangeness, he made no sign of it. “I came in with Doc. He needed to see a patient, and I had some things to take care of, so I rode along.” He paused. “Later we’re going to go see about a horse for me.”
Rachel stared up at him. “A horse?”
He nodded. “Apparently he knows a fellow with a couple for sale. Said he’d introduce me.”
“You—can ride? I mean, with your leg as it is…”
“Well, Doc’s not keen on the idea, but I convinced him I’d settle for a nice, gentle old nag if need be.”
Something twisted deep inside Rachel. “Are you—” she could hardly bring herself to ask—“are you leaving?”
>
He frowned. “Leaving? Oh—no! No, I just need a way to get around every now and then. I’m tired of depending on Doc, and I expect he’s tired of it too.”
The relief that poured over Rachel made her go weak. She knew he would leave eventually, knew she shouldn’t care—but she did care. She cared more than any Amish woman should ever care about what an outsider did.
“You came into town to shop, did you?” he asked.
“Shop? Oh, yes—well, to pick up some things I’d ordered for Mamma and me. But mostly I wanted to visit Gideon.”
“How is he?”
“He’s…all right, I suppose. A little down in the mouth this morning. It seems the shop where he works is being sold, so he’s concerned.”
“About his job, you mean?”
“Well, yes. There’s no way of knowing whether the new owner will keep him on or not, and Gideon likes his job a lot. And he’s enjoyed working for Mr. Webber too.”
“I planned to drop by and see him today too. Maybe I can cheer him up a bit. I predict the new owner—whoever he is—is going to want your brother to stay put.”
“Oh, he’ll be glad to see you, Jeremiah! He thinks highly of you.”
Still smiling, he studied her, and the softness in his eyes was like a caress. Two women came into the store just then, both casting curious glances in their direction. It occurred to Rachel that an Amish woman talking to an obviously Englisch man was an uncommon sight, to say the least.
Suddenly uncomfortable, she shifted from one foot to another, knowing she should leave, yet loath to do so. “I suppose I should go…”
He glanced around. One of the women turned back to look at them again. As if he sensed the situation would be a discomfiting one for Rachel, he stepped in front of her to block her view from the other customers.
“I need to talk with you, Rachel,” he said, his voice low. His earlier smile had faded, his expression now uncharacteristically solemn.
“We best not. I think I should leave now.”
“Because we’re attracting attention.” He said it as a statement, not a question.
Rachel nodded. “We shouldn’t…be seen like this. You understand…”
His mouth turned down. “No, I don’t think I do. But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. Fine—I’ll stop by your house later this evening, so we can talk.”
“No!” she blurted out. “I mean…that isn’t a good idea, Jeremiah. We can’t do that.”
His eyes narrowed. “Then let’s go someplace right now, somewhere we can talk.”
“We can’t! Try to understand. I shouldn’t be seen with you at all, Jeremiah. I need you to accept that.”
“Well, I don’t accept it.” He kept his voice low, but his words spilled out like hailstones, cold and hard and slashing the air between them. “I’ll be discreet, Rachel, but I need to talk with you, and I’m going to do just that. You can expect me to stop by your place this evening.”
Without another word, he walked away, leaving Rachel to stand and stare in frustration as he headed toward the other side of the store.
After the two women paid for their purchases, Gant paid for his quickly and started for the door.
He already regretted his sharpness with Rachel. She probably wouldn’t even come to the door this evening. She’d probably hide from him instead. But he’d meant what he said. He had to talk with her.
He looked around when he stepped outside the store, but there was no sight of her. Drawing a long breath, he finally crossed to the other side and started for the carpenter shop.
When he walked in, Gideon looked up in surprise. Gant was glad to see no sign of anyone else around. He extended a hand to Gideon, who regarded him with a studying look for a second or two before offering his own hand.
The boy grinned. “Just so you know, Captain—the Amish aren’t much for shaking hands. It’s fine with me, though.”
“It seems I have a lot to learn about the Amish.”
“Truth be known, even the Amish have a lot to learn about the Amish, sir.”
Gant laughed. He did like this boy.
“How are you doing now that you’re on your own, Gideon?”
A sheepish look crossed the other’s features. “You know about my leaving home, then?”
“Your little sister told me. She misses you.”
Gideon drew a long breath. “I didn’t want to hurt anyone. Especially not my sisters or Mamm. But—I had to get away.”
“I think I understand,” Gant said. “I also hear your mother had a surprise for you.”
“Doc told you?”
Gant nodded, smiling. “He talks about nothing else these days. She’s made him a happy man. And he ought to be. Your mother is a fine woman.”
“Yes, sir, she is. And I’m glad to see her marry again if it’s to a man like Doc. They don’t come any better.”
“Rightly said.”
Gant paused, watching the boy. His leg was bothering him some, and he leaned on the cane now with both hands. “I understand you’ve had other news as well. I ran into your sister at the general store.”
“Oh. She told you about the shop being sold.”
“She did. She seems to think you’re worried about keeping your job.”
He shrugged. “I need the work, but it’s not just the money. I like it here. Karl’s a good man to work for, and he’s taught me a lot. So, yeah, I’m worried about my job. I’d really hate to lose it.”
“You’re not going to lose it, son.”
The boy looked at him. “Pardon, sir, but you can’t know that.”
“Actually, I do know that. About an hour ago, I signed the papers to buy this place. I’m your new boss, and I say you’re keeping your job.”
36
BREAKING THE RULES
Somewhere there waiteth in this world of ours
for one lone soul, another lonely soul…
EDWIN ARNOLD
Before Gant left for Rachel’s house that evening, he and Doc had a conversation that bordered treacherously close to an argument.
Doc accused Gant of being stubborn and unable to think beyond the moment. Gant accused Doc of being overly cautious. “But then that just seems to be something in the Englishman’s blood, I’ve noticed.”
“In the first place, you’ve no business riding around after dark on that horse,” Doc groused. “One good fall, and you risk breaking your leg. And isn’t that just what you need? A break to go with a bullet.”
“You took the bullet out,” Gant reminded him.
The look Doc shot him would have withered a cactus.
“Now you listen to me carefully, you hardheaded Irishman. I told you just last week that you are going to have a bad leg for the rest of your life. That bullet shattered your bones so severely that you could have lost the leg altogether. It took some doing to save it, and let me emphasize that I didn’t save it so you could abuse it as you like.”
Doc stopped only long enough to emphasize his next words by stabbing the air with his index finger. “You need to be extremely careful for the next year, at least, not to take a fall—and that includes being thrown from a horse.”
When Gant started to speak, Doc ignored him.
“When I agreed to introduce you to Roger Forsythe so you could have a look at his horses, it was with the understanding that you’d use that thick head of yours and take no foolish chances. The only reason I kept my silence when you bought the gelding in the first place was because Forsythe assured us the animal was well-trained and gentle— and because I thought you had the good sense to be cautious. But you can take a fall with even the mildest nag if it steps into a hole after dark or somehow gets spooked. You’re not used to that horse yet—you’ve ridden him, what, a total of ten minutes?”
Again Gant tried to get a word in, and again Doc cut him off.
“You simply cannot subject that leg to any sort of punishment. You could still lose it. And even if you don’t care, I don’t like you playi
ng light with my hard work. So you’d better take me seriously and do as I tell you, or you’ll pay for it. You surely will.”
Gant took him seriously all right, though he didn’t much like Doc having the last word. “Are you finished?” he said.
The other shot him a look of disgust—conceivably as nasty a look as Doc was capable of. Gant assumed an expression as innocent as he was capable of, made a deep, exaggerated bow, and uttered a solemn, “I hear you, Doc. And I’ll make you proud. Indeed I will.”
At that point Doc muttered something under his breath that sounded like another jab at the hardheaded Irish before stamping out of the room.
In the end Doc cooled off enough to insist that Gant borrow his buggy to go to Rachel’s. “I’m bunking here tonight anyway,” he said. “Tomorrow morning is my meeting with Bishop Graber—and whomever else I’m to be subjected to—so you’ll just have to put up with me until then. In the meantime you might just as well use the buggy.”
So that was why he was in such a testy mood. Not wanting to provoke the man any further, Gant swallowed the sarcastic comeback he was tempted to make and accepted the offer of the buggy.
Before he managed to shrug into his coat and get out the door, however, Doc decided to issue what sounded suspiciously like a warning. “You be sure you know what you’re doing, man. Don’t you dally with Rachel Brenneman. You’re in a position to bring down a mountain of trouble on her. And while you might be able to walk away scot-free, Rachel will pay a cruel and bitter price.”
Gant stopped and looked at him, any trace of sarcasm or insolence now gone. “You’re wrong, Doc. It’s long past the point where I could walk away from Rachel, scot-free or otherwise.”
For a long moment he thought she wasn’t going to answer the door. This time he pounded harder, glancing around to make sure no one was about.