“You don’t have to know anybody to be able to contact your family back east so they can make arrangements for you to go back home.”
Colby had agreed to drive in Cassie’s wagon because she insisted she didn’t feel safe with anyone else, but he wasn’t happy about it. Neither was Norman Spencer.
“You were hired to guide all of us, not babysit Cassie.” The bandage that covered Norman’s battered face didn’t cover his black eye.
“She gets hysterical if I leave her,” Colby had said. “You have to remember she’s buried a husband and a father-in-law within twelve hours. She’ll be much better in a day or two.”
Over the last several hours that hope had begun to wane. He’d asked Ethan Kessling to ride along one side and Naomi to bring their wagon up on the other. He hoped that with three Kesslings being attentive to her—Dr. Kessling had given her something to calm her nerves—he could transfer responsibility to them. But Naomi didn’t look happy about it.
“I can’t go back where they killed—” Cassie wasn’t able to say the words.
“Most of the caravans take a different route,” Colby told her. “Some are so large and well-armed there’s no danger of an Indian attack.”
“But I have no one to help me.”
“You’ll have no trouble finding someone to take care of you.”
“Could you take care of me?”
“I’m not going to Santa Fe.”
“Why not? I don’t trust anyone but you.”
Naomi made a derisive sound, but Cassie appeared oblivious.
“I’m sure you can depend on Mr. Spencer or Mr. Hale to make arrangements for you.”
Cassie pouted. “They don’t like me. They think I’m too young to be married or have a baby.”
Colby thought they were probably right, but it wasn’t his place to judge. “There are others here who’ll be equally willing to help. Now I’m going to have to leave you with Ethan. It’s time to stop for the nooning.”
Within minutes, the wagons had circled, the teams had been unharnessed and turned out to graze, and the fires for the midday meal had been started. Colby organized a hunting party led by Reece Hill and Zel Drummond to look for fresh meat.
“You’re to eat with us,” Ben said, out of breath from running over. “Naomi says don’t drag your feet, or everything will be cold.”
Dr. Kessling had offered his wagon to Colby because of his wound, but he’d never received a personal invitation to eat with them. He wondered why the change. He wondered even more why the invitation had come from Naomi.
As he walked around the camp, checking to make sure the wagon wheels were still in good shape after the morning drive, he couldn’t take his mind off the way Naomi had looked at him when he was sitting next to Cassie. She didn’t appear angry or jealous. The closest he could come to describing it was exasperation, but why should she feel that way? And who was she exasperated at? Cassie? Him? Herself? And why should it bother him what she felt? He’d sworn off women.
He wasn’t interested in any relationship no matter how brief or casual. He wanted to get these people to La Junta then disappear into the wilderness. The only times he’d ever been content had been when he was alone. He didn’t have any family now and he didn’t need one.
He didn’t even know his real parents’ names. His adopted parents had refused to tell him. When he finally found their graves, only stones remained to mark the site. His adoptive parents thought the less he knew about his real parents, the less he would be like them. They told him how much they loved him, how much they’d longed to have children, how happy they were to welcome him into their family. They had given him a new name and a new home, but neither the relentless lectures, the harsh punishments, nor the cruel beatings had been able to make him into a new person. His father had tortured his body, but his mother had tortured his soul. It was either run away and take his chances on survival, or stay and be destroyed.
Being on his own hadn’t been as hard as he’d expected. When he found Elizabeth, he thought he’d found a reason to live. When she abandoned him, he decided love was an illusion. It had failed him twice. He wouldn’t give it a third chance.
“How long are we going to rest here?” Elsa Drummond asked as he passed.
“About two hours. We’ll have to drive late into the night to reach Sand Creek.”
Elsa looked up at the bright sun. “It’s hot inside the wagons.”
“Make a pallet underneath. The wagon will shade you and the ground will keep you cool. Make sure the children rest. They’ll be the first ones to get tired.”
“Do you intend to make it your personal responsibility to make sure every woman is properly cared for?”
Colby turned to see Naomi approaching from behind.
“I came to see what was keeping you,” she said. “The boys are eager to eat.”
“You shouldn’t wait for me. I never know when I’ll have time to stop.”
“I realize you have important duties, but it’s essential to keep up your strength. Otherwise, how can you be an effective leader?”
Colby didn’t know what she was really thinking, but he was certain it was more than concern for his empty belly.
“Dad said you haven’t let him look at your wound today. What will we do if it gets infected, or you get sick and die?”
“I thought you wanted to get rid of me. Having me get sick and die would be one way to do it.” He’d hit a nerve. She looked angry and embarrassed. What was going on with this woman?
“Wishing you weren’t part of the train isn’t the same as wanting to get rid of you.”
“It sounds like it to me.”
“I’ve never wanted you to get sick or die, either. I’m not cruel.”
Now he’d upset her. “I never thought you were. What have you fixed to eat?”
She was only slightly mollified. “Beans cooked with pork, but I fixed spiced apples for dessert.”
“It sounds good. If the men have a successful hunt, you’ll have fresh meat for tonight.”
She thawed a little more. “I’ve never tasted antelope or buffalo. Is it good?”
“After a diet of beans and pork, it tastes wonderful. I’ll show you how to cook it.”
“I’ve never met a man who knew how to cook.”
“There are probably ten men to every woman out here. If we didn’t know how to cook, we’d starve.”
She couldn’t hide the hint of a grin. “Maybe I should be the guide, and you do the cooking.”
“Maybe I should let you help me guide, and Ethan can cook.”
She laughed easily. “The men in my family think it’s an insult to be asked to do anything in the kitchen except eat.”
“I thought you’d never get here,” Ben called out to Colby as he approached where the three Kessling men were having their midday meal. “Dad said we’d better not wait, that you had a lot of things you had to do. What were you doing?”
“Checking the wagons to make sure they didn’t need any repairs before our afternoon drive.”
“Why do you have to do that?”
“One broken-down wagon delays everybody.”
“See, I told you he’d make a great guide,” Ethan said to Naomi.
Colby turned to Naomi. “You thought I wouldn’t?”
Naomi was flustered. “That’s not what I said. I said we didn’t know whether you had the experience you said you had.”
“You think I would lie?”
She directed a nettled glance at Ethan. “One’s opinion of one’s own abilities can sometimes be exaggerated. And we know so little about what’s required to be a guide.”
“After a month on the trail, I’d say we know a good bit,” Ethan insisted.
“I’d say we’d all be a lot happier with more eating and less talking,” Dr. Kessler said.
�
��I haven’t said a thing,” Cassie whined. “I haven’t been given a chance.”
Colby had decided that everyone in the caravan should have joint responsibility for Cassie and her baby, each family taking her for a day in rotation. Naomi had volunteered to take the first day.
“You’ll have plenty of time to say whatever’s on your mind during the drive this afternoon,” Colby assured her.
“I want you to ride with me.”
“I have to ride ahead to find a suitable camp for the night. I’ve asked Ethan to ride with you.”
“He’s wounded.”
“So am I.”
“I forgot.” Cassie giggled. “You don’t act like it.”
“I doubt Colby has forgotten.” Naomi sounded out of patience. “He said it hurt like a son-of-a-bitch.”
“Naomi Kessling!” her father exclaimed. “I never thought to hear such language from you.”
Naomi grinned at Colby. “I’m just repeating what he said.”
“That’s no excuse.” He turned to Colby. “I’d appreciate it if you refrained from using such language around my daughter.”
Colby threw an accusatory glance at Naomi, but she responded with a smirk. “She caught me at a moment when I wasn’t in a charitable mood.”
“She’d probably been telling you why she didn’t want you here,” Ben offered.
Colby pounced on the chance to give Naomi back some of her own. “She had. Quite pointedly, in fact.”
“Once again, I apologize for my daughter,” Dr. Kessling said to Colby. “She doesn’t always know when it’s best not to share all of her thoughts.”
“Don’t waste your time apologizing for me,” Naomi said, any trace of amusement gone. “You can’t change what I said. However, I will apologize to Colby for doubting him. According to everyone’s judgment, including mine, he’s doing an admirable job.”
“It’s only been one day so far,” Colby said. “I have plenty of time to reinforce your original opinion.”
“I think he’s wonderful,” Cassie said. “I’m going to try to talk him into taking me home.”
Finding himself the recipient of curious glances from all four Kesslings, Colby decided it was time to focus on eating. “I’ll have some of those beans, if you don’t mind,” he said to Naomi. “I’m looking forward to the spiced apples.”
“I don’t know how to make spiced apples,” Cassie said, “but Naomi has promised to show me.”
Colby decided that was something he’d do well to miss.
***
Naomi was out of charity with herself, her family, Colby, and everybody in the caravan except Cassie. That’s because she was furious with Cassie. Every time Colby came within ten feet of that girl—Naomi refused to call her a woman—Cassie made an overt and inexpert attempt to convince Colby to take her husband’s place.
“She acts like a strumpet,” she’d said to Ethan when they stopped for the night. “I can’t believe she would throw herself at a man with her husband dead less than two days.”
“She’s got no one to take care of her,” Ethan had said. “Colby would be perfect for her.”
Ethan sounded miserable at the prospect, and Naomi wondered just what her brother though of Cassie. She was young and pretty, which likely outweighed her callowness with Ethan. He was seventeen, young enough to become infatuated with the most inappropriate female of his acquaintance. Naomi was glad Norman and Sibyl would be responsible for Cassie tomorrow.
Despite the torrential storm of the previous night, when they reached Sand Creek it was dry. Colby set the boys old enough to handle a shovel digging for water. “We will reach the Cimarron tomorrow,” he’d told them, “but that might be dry, too.”
They’d driven until past eight o’clock, but no one had objected. The hunting party had shot a buffalo. Everyone was looking forward to fresh meat for supper. The teams had been unharnessed and put out to graze for the night. Already fires were going alongside every wagon.
“Buffalo meat is very lean,” Colby had told everyone. “Don’t cook it as much as you would beef, or it will be dry and tough.”
Naomi had held him to his promise to show her how to cook it properly. “I don’t want to take a chance of doing it wrong. The boys will never let me hear the end of it.”
“I’m not sure I can eat the meat of a wild animal,” Cassie said.
Naomi’s patience was running very low. “Cows, pigs, and chickens were wild animals before we locked them up in pens.”
“But that would make them taste different, wouldn’t it?”
Fortunately for Naomi’s evaporating patience, Cassie’s baby started to cry. She took him to her wagon to nurse.
“I need to look at your back,” Dr. Kessling said to Colby, “but don’t let that stop you from making sure Naomi doesn’t ruin the meat.”
“I’m not going to ruin it,” Naomi said.
“I hope not. I’m looking forward to my first taste of buffalo.”
“So are we.” Naomi looked up to see both her brothers had returned.
“We dug a long trench,” Ethan told Colby. “The water wasn’t far below the surface, so there ought to be plenty for the stock by morning.”
Ben came to watch Naomi. “Are you doing it right?” he asked. “It doesn’t smell cooked.”
“She’s doing fine,” Colby assured the boy. “Your sister is a great cook. We’ll have the best buffalo steaks of anybody.”
Naomi was sure Colby said that for Ben’s benefit, but she hoped he meant it. She’d given up trying to pretend she wasn’t intrigued by him. It infuriated her to see him succumb to Cassie’s whining at the same time it impressed her that he would make such an effort to help her endure tragedies that would have devastated any woman regardless of age. She was also impressed with his easygoing style of leadership despite being meticulous in every detail. He didn’t shout, threaten, or bully. He merely stated what needed to be done, designated who he wanted to do it, then moved on to the next issue. There was something about him that made people respect him. Even Norman Spencer, who normally questioned every decision that wasn’t his own, had accepted Colby’s authority.
Then there was the fact that he didn’t seem to be attracted to her. She wasn’t a vain woman, but she was used to having an effect on men. Colby treated her much like he did her brothers. Compared to the effort he made for Cassie, that piqued her vanity. Watching her cook buffalo steaks while her father tended his wound didn’t do much to settle her feathers. She still felt ignored. That wouldn’t have been so bad if she could have ignored him, but she couldn’t.
Drat. If she didn’t pay more attention to what she was doing, she was going to ruin this meat.
“I think they’re done,” Colby said.
“I was about to take them off,” she told him.
“I know.” He winked. “I just said that so Ben would think I knew what I was talking about.”
Why did he wink? What did it mean? He’d never done that before.
“Hurry up,” Ben said. “I’m hungry.”
“Hold out your plate.”
“Don’t let him grab the biggest steak,” Ethan warned. “Colby ought to have it.”
Naomi served six plates. “I’ll take Cassie’s to her,” Ethan volunteered.
“This is good,” Ben said, chewing vigorously. “When can we shoot another buffalo?”
“We have plenty of food without trying to slaughter all the wild animals,” his father said.
“One a day is not a lot,” Ben said.
Naomi appreciated Ben’s approval, but she needed to see Colby’s reaction before she could feel like she’d been successful. “Okay,” she prodded when he didn’t say anything. “Is it as good as Ben thinks?”
“It’s perfect. I knew it would be.”
“It had to be with you watching to ma
ke sure she didn’t burn it,” Ben said.
That took some of the shine off her pleasure, but it didn’t matter because Colby winked again. Heat suffused her face, and her stomach flipped over. All thoroughly uncomfortable.
“That wasn’t very generous of you,” Dr. Kessling said to his son. “We’re fortunate Naomi is a good cook. You’d be very unhappy if you had to survive on my cooking.”
“Colby could cook for us.” Ben fixed his adoring gaze on Colby.
“I’m sure he would,” his father said, “but he wasn’t around during the six years since your mother died.”
“He’s promised to leave us after La Junta,” Naomi reminded Ben.
Only after the words were out of her mouth did Naomi realize what she said.
“He didn’t promise,” Ben corrected. “He said he’d take us that far. He didn’t say he wouldn’t go any farther.”
“That was implied,” Naomi insisted.
“You could change your mind, couldn’t you?” Ben asked Colby.
“There’ll be plenty of trains from La Junta to Santa Fe. You could join one, or just follow.”
“Why won’t you take us to Santa Fe?” Ben asked.
“That’s none of our business,” his father said.
“But I like Colby. I don’t want him to go away. I—”
“Indians!”
The cry sent everyone scrambling for their weapons.
Five
The cry came from Ethan. Cassie was having hysterics. Naomi grabbed her rifle and followed Colby to Cassie’s wagon.
“Where are they?” Colby asked.
“Over there.” Ethan pointed to a distant rise where Colby could see the head of an Indian above the tall grass that rippled in the breeze.
“Is he the only one?’
“No. I could see more before I jumped down from the wagon.”
“Hold your fire,” Colby called out.
“Why should we wait until they get closer?” someone asked.
“If these Indians had meant to attack us, we wouldn’t have seen them until they were on top of us.”
“I can see a lot more of them now.”
“They’re coming toward us.”
To Have and to Hold (Cactus Creek Cowboys) Page 6