by Eva Luxe
I remembered her now. She had been the weird girl in high school, the one who’d had a crush on me. I had laughed with my friends about it so many times. The girls in our group had commented how cute it was that she was aiming above her station, mocking her. It had been a fat joke then. Now, it wasn’t so funny.
It was all messed up.
She should have told me from the start. What other reason could she have had for keeping it from me than that she was stalking me? How much had she found out about me? People like that creeped me out. I didn’t understand the obsession with a person, and I had heard terrible stories of people finding out everything, hoarding information about someone like it was a treasure. I was becoming famous now, so maybe this would start happening more, but I wasn’t going to indulge it. I should have connected the dots, but she had played me so well.
The playboy had been played. Go fucking figure.
Chapter 13
Hailey
I had hoped the pain would lessen as time passed, but it only seemed to get worse and worse. It had been two days since Nick had left me in the restaurant after I had told him who I was, and every time I thought about it, I felt the flames of humiliation on my cheeks, my stomach turning as I thought about how easy it was for him to walk away and leave me behind.
I hadn’t expected him to treat me that way. I had considered that he might be upset, which was why I wanted to tell him after our sex together. When we had been at school, Nick had wanted nothing to do with me. He had been the school jock, I had been the school freak, and it had been all about reputation then. I had understood it. Now, things were different. At least, I’d thought they were. I had thought he would talk to me about it like an adult, even if he was upset about it.
To storm away from me, leaving me behind at the table like that with barely enough cash to cover the bill had stung more than anything I could think of.
Everyone had stared at me. Nick had bumped the table when he’d stood up, and my glass had fallen over. When he’d stormed away, everyone had seen him leave and I’d seen the judgment on their faces, wondering what I had done to make him leave me.
God, it wasn’t like I had done anything wrong. But Nick hadn’t taken the time to ask me why I hadn’t told him. Instead, he had jumped to conclusions and left me there to eat up the embarrassments all by myself.
I’d had to phone Carly to pick me up. She hadn’t been able to come until half an hour later, and I had put on a smile until the moment I’d climbed into the car. Then, I’d fallen apart.
It had taken Carly fifteen minutes of me sobbing to figure out what the hell had happened, and I’d hated that Nick had managed to make me cry. I had never allowed a man to get me down enough that I shed a tear about him, and if Nick had it in him to treat me that way, he shouldn’t have been worth my tears either.
Only, I hadn’t been able to help it.
I could think about it without crying now, at least. I wouldn’t shed another tear about that man, I had told myself. But whenever Nick popped into my thoughts, which was all the time, I cringed. My stomach felt hollow, and I couldn’t stop thinking back to what had happened and how horrible he had made me feel.
I wished I hadn’t met him. I wished he hadn’t been a part of Carly’s friend's circle, that he had remained a crush in my past, someone in high school who’d stayed along with all the other memories of high school.
A knock on the door pull me out of my downward spiral of self-pity, and Carly opened my door.
“How are you feeling?” she asked.
I shrugged. I hadn’t eaten much since that night, and I had been holed up in my room most of the time. “I’ll be fine,” I said.
“You’re right,” Carly said. “You will be. I know you. You can bounce back from anything you set your mind to.”
I nodded. I would get over it and move on, and one day, I would look back on it as the man who had taken my virginity, the man who had been a dick, and I would laugh about it.
Judging by the pain that shot through my chest when I thought about it like that now, that day was still far off.
“Just for the record,” Carly said. “I think he was a real dick to treat you that way. Brad agrees. None of the guys in our group treat women like that, and it was highly uncalled for.”
I shook my head. “You didn’t have to include Brad in this. I don’t want him confronting Nick.”
“He won’t do anything,” Carly said, shaking her head. “But I had to tell him. He cares about you, and he saw something was wrong. I haven’t ever seen you cry the way you cried that night.”
I closed my eyes. I didn’t want to think about it.
“It was the right thing to tell him,” Carly said.
“Was it?” I asked. “I knew this would happen. I should have kept it to myself.”
Carly shook her head. “Secrets in a relationship are never good.”
“But it wouldn’t have mattered.”
“And then you would never have been able to tell him about your friends and your childhood or anything. High school is a big part of life. You don’t want to hide things from your partner.”
I shrugged. I guess she was right. But I hated that it had come to this.
“Besides,” Carly carried on, “if you hadn’t told him, you wouldn’t have known he had the capacity to act this way. Rather that you know now. Before things get serious.”
But they had already been serious. At least, for me. Nick hadn’t been just any man. He was the guy I’d had a crush on my whole high school career. He had taken my virginity. I had considered that I could have a relationship with him. If that wasn’t serious, I wasn’t sure what was.
“He never wanted anything to do with me in high school,” I told Carly. “I was the freak, the ugly girl. He was forced to talk to me when I tutored him, but unless we were in the library together, he didn’t even look at me.”
“And during your tutoring sessions?” Carly asked.
I shook my head. “He never made eye contact. If the teachers knew how much he detested being seen with me, they would have merely made him talk to me instead of giving him attention.”
“Sounds like he was a dick,” Carly said.
I shrugged. “Apparently, he didn’t outgrow it. It’s so typical that he would think I’m stalking him. He’s the victim.”
Carly wanted to say something, but Brad knocked on the door and stepped in.
“Sorry to interrupt, ladies,” Brad said. “But we’re doing our team party at the end of the week. Brian called and confirmed the venue.” He looked at me. “How are you feeling?”
I shrugged. “I’m working through it,” I said.
Brad shook his head. “If I say anything about it now, it might be crude.”
Cary gave me a look that said: “you see?”
“Let me know later if you’re coming,” he said to me.
I nodded, and Carly thanked Brad. He gave her a kiss, and my stomach twisted when he did. When he left the room, I sighed.
“You’re so lucky to have him,” I said. “It’s not every day your happy ending happens, and yours is so special.”
“You’ll get yours, too,” Carly said. “You know what they say about having to kiss a couple of frogs.”
I nodded. “Frogs don’t leave you hanging in restaurants, though.”
Carly couldn’t say anything to that, and we sat in silence for a moment.
“You have to come with us to the party,” she said. “It’s like a team building thing. Everyone involved with the Sharks attends, and it’s just a good time together. It’s casual, so nothing serious.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. If everyone involved with the Sharks is going, Nick will be there. I don’t think I’ll be able to face him. Not after everything that’s happened. What if he thinks I’m stalking him?”
“Then he can shove it. You’re invited as our guest, and you have every right to be there. It’s because of us that he ran into you in
the first place, so if he has a problem with it, he’s being childish. Besides, there will be so many people there, you can focus your attention on someone else.”
I shook my head again. “I don’t want to go.”
Carly leaned forward and put her hand on mine. “Hailey, if you don’t go, if you hide away, he wins. He’s wrong, and you know it. You have nothing to be ashamed of and nothing to hide, and you can walk in there with your head held high. If anyone should feel embarrassed and hide, it’s him.”
Carly was right, but it was easier said than done. To face him after it all would be hard. But I wouldn’t try to talk to him. I had nothing left to say to him. And I had every right to be there like Carly said.
But I wouldn’t speak to Nick, even if he came to speak to me. I wouldn’t even look at him. He didn’t deserve that from me. Like Carly had said, there would be more than enough people for me to focus on. Like the girls. Kina and Lacey had lately been putting in a lot of effort to spend time with me, and I would enjoy their company. I wondered if Brad had told anyone else about what had happened.
I hoped not.
I didn’t doubt he would have painted me in the right light if he’d told someone like Liam, but I preferred to keep my business personal. The last thing I wanted was to look like I was a gossip. I didn’t want Nick thinking I had run to the rest of all his friends and told him what had happened. He already thought the worst of me.
“What are you going to wear?” I asked Carly, trying to change the topic.
“I think a dress. But short, because it’s casual. And flats, not heels. Wait.”
She left the room and returned with a nautical-looking blue and white dress that was formfitting with a square collar.
“That’s cute,” I said.
“Do we need to go shopping for yours?” Carly asked. “We can take the day tomorrow and shop and spoil ourselves.”
I shook my head and walked to the closet. “I have this,” I said. I took out the red dress I had bought for a Valentine's event during my first year at the university. It was a red dress with capped sleeves, and it flared out around the waist. It had a sixties feel to it, but it was modern.
“I love that,” Carly said. “It’s perfect. With black ballerina flats.”
I nodded. “I was thinking the same thing.”
Carly nodded, and we discussed jewelry.
“I still think we should head out tomorrow and spoil ourselves, even if we don’t go shopping. We should have a spa day, take your mind off things.”
I nodded, agreeing. Maybe a spa day would be good. I didn’t think it would take my mind off anything, but Carly was trying, and I appreciated it.
“I have to take care of a few things,” Carly said, standing up. “You can come join me in the office if you feel like it.”
“Maybe a little later,” I said. I wanted to be alone. Carly nodded, understanding, and left the room. I looked at the red dress again and wondered if going to the party was a good idea. Carly had said if I didn’t go, I would let him win, and in a way, I agreed. But I wasn’t sure I could handle being around a bunch of people all smiling and laughing and having to pretend everything was fine. It was hard work right now to be fine for Carly and Brad, and there were only two of them.
But I was going to be here for another week, and I couldn’t be cooped up in my room the whole time. It would be rude toward the people hosting me, no matter how sad I was. So, I would plaster a smile on my face and do what needed to be done, even if it hurt. I had to get up and carry on living at some point. Might as well be now.
Chapter 14
Nick
On Friday night, Ryan and I walked to the hall. We were both dressed in jeans and collared shirts, the kind of clothes we would hit the town with on a night out. It was a casual party, and I loved those. Not that I didn’t enjoy dressing up, but tonight I wanted to be comfortable.
Brad, Liam, and the boys did this every year. It was like a kick-off party, something where we all got together and celebrated the upcoming season. I didn’t know if other teams did this, but the Sharks, the group of guys I’d come to be so friendly with, made being part of the team seem like being part of a family.
All the players, first- and second-string and the coaches, were invited, and they were all free to bring dates. It was a big thing that drew us all closer together.
When we arrived, I headed straight for the bar. We bought beers and leaned on the bar with our elbows, sipping the cold, yellow liquid.
“So, where is this mystery woman of yours?” Ryan asked. “I want to see why you’re so worked up over her.”
I shook my head. “She’s not mine. She is a mystery, that’s for sure.”
“What do you mean?” Ryan asked.
I sighed. “She’s someone I knew in school. She was a nerd, a bit of a freak, you know the girls that never fit in? And she had the biggest crush on me. And now she’s here in Miami, trotting around as if she belongs here.”
“I have no idea what you’re saying to me,” Ryan said, looking confused.
I explained to him what Hailey had said to me on Monday, how she had drawn my attention to who she was.
“And you didn’t know?” Ryan asked.
I shook my head. “She did a fucking good job of it. Which is what freaks me out so much. What else has she done?”
“That’s insane,” Ryan said, whistling through his teeth. “I can’t believe it. There are some seriously messed up people out there.”
I groaned. “Don’t remind me. I’m trying to figure out if I should take some kind of action like a restraining order or, if not, having anything to do with her again is enough.”
“If she bugs you again, you get that restraining order. There are psychos out there. Point her out when she comes in.”
I nodded, and we both watched the door. I had no idea what I was feeling. A part of me was disgusted, upset, and irritated that I hadn’t been able to figure it out for myself. But that hadn’t been my fault. She had fooled me.
But another part of me felt cheated because I had fallen for her. I felt a little raw as if I had lost someone important to me. Since we had met at Brad’s dinner, I had gotten along with her like I hadn’t gotten along with anyone before. She had been on a different level, and for the first time, I had felt like I could relate to someone, that a void inside me was filled.
That had probably all been a lie. Was it possible to fake something like that? I had no idea.
Brad and Carly arrived, and Hailey was with them. Of course, she had come, I thought. Why would she stay away if I would be here? It was the perfect place for her to ogle and keep track of me.
“That’s her,” I said, nudging Ryan with my elbow. “With Carly and Brad. The blonde.”
Ryan whistled. “I know this shit is messed up, but she’s fucking hot,” he said.
I rolled my eyes. “So, that makes everything all right?”
“That’s not what I was saying,” Ryan said.
I watched her as she walked with Carly and Brad to their group of friends, tagging a little behind them as if she didn’t quite belong. Well, didn’t that look familiar?
Ryan was right, she was hot. And she looked amazing tonight. She wore a short red dress with capped sleeves and a belt around her waist that accentuated her curves. Her hair was piled on her head in one of those big buns the girls wore these days, but she pulled it off and she looked classy, sophisticated. Not like a stalker.
But what did a stalker look like?
When she looked up and her eyes fell on me, it was only a split-second before she looked away. I stared at her, daring her to look at me, to give me something I could point out and say, “you’re a stalker.” But she didn’t look at me again. In fact, it seemed like she was trying to avoid eye contact with me.
She didn’t look like a stalker. She looked sad. She was beautiful, but it was a tragic beauty, and I felt a pang that I had done that to her.
I stopped myself from thinking it. She
had kept the truth from me when she could have been straightforward about who she was. She had done something very wrong, and I wasn’t going to let her off the hook for that.
“You know what?” Ryan said, and I realized he’d been talking to me. “People like that should be locked up. It’s an invasion of your privacy, and they should have stricter laws about that.”
“Yeah,” I said because I didn’t know what else to say.
“You were right to walk away. I would have done the same. And if she comes here, I’ll tell her to leave. I’ll be as upfront with her as she wasn’t with you.”
I shook my head. “Somehow, I don’t think it’s going to be a problem.” She was with Carly and Brad, not looking at me at all. She was making a point of avoiding me, which wasn’t like a stalker at all.
The rest of the night was horrible, a dance between the two of us where she made a point of not being wherever I was and not looking in my direction. I started wanting her to look at me. Everything had been pulled out of proportion, and I had no idea what to do.
So, I drank. It wouldn’t take a lot for me to become numb and stop thinking about what happened, to stop feeling like shit for ditching her. The more I thought about it, the worse I felt for ditching her, throwing cash down on the table and leaving. I could have told her off like a real man and made sure she had gotten home safely instead of throwing a tantrum like a child.
But I had been upset, and I had wanted to make a statement that I wouldn’t be treated that way.
“You should be careful how much you put away,” Ryan said. “I mean, you’re a grown man so you can drink as much as you want, but your tolerance is worse than mine, and you had to pick me up the other night.”
He was right, of course. I didn’t want to hear it, but he was right. I had to be careful. I was upset, but that would do nothing to my tolerance. I had to keep my football career in mind, and that alcohol wouldn’t help my cause, only help me forget for a while.
The alcohol wasn’t a solution, but it did help me relax. By the time I’d had a few drinks, I had stopped looking for Hailey everywhere and assumed that if she was going to approach me, she would have done it already.