Deadly Morsel: Rosewood Academy of Witches and Mages (Darkly Sweet Book 5)

by Juliann Whicker

  “His brother.”

  “That explains it. He must be the Prince of Darkness. He’s very famous, at least his title is. There hasn’t been a real Prince of Darkness for hundreds of years. The idea is that there are seven sorcerers, brothers or bound together, something like that, and they all give their energy to one, the Prince, but he can’t take the energy unless they’re sane. Theoretically it’s supposed to be a chosen thing, you give your energy to someone. Eating his brother’s heart would explain the fangs.”

  “Fangs?”

  “Oh, sure. The Prince of Darkness is the king of the vampires. They’re not really vampires, just Darksiders who like blood better than flesh. Has Signore drunk a lot of your blood?”

  She blinked a few times. “Not that I noticed. I mean, he did taste it after I’d kissed his brother and my mouth was kind of less there.”

  I clenched my fist and smiled as though I were moderately amused. “You should see the Darkside brothels. So much delightful ruin. You aren’t well-loved if you aren’t mangled.”

  “So, Missy was well-loved?”

  I hesitated. “Her maiming was more academic than passionate. Such a delightful conversation, but the gist should be that your friend Signore isn’t only a deliveryman. Ah, secret identities, hidden motives, the drama! I’ve missed you.”

  “You think he’d be a less exciting reveal if I weren’t involved?”

  I brushed her cheek and kissed her nose. She had the most adorable nose. “Naturally. Now tell me that he’s a vegan, and I’ll be charmed for the rest of the day.”

  “He ate a heart. Washed it down with hogsnass.”

  I nodded sadly. “Well, we can’t have everything. All right, my delightful and delicious bathroom fixture, it’s time for you to leave. I have business to attend to.”

  “What?”

  I stared at her.

  She stared back.

  “If I told you my game, would you tell me yours?”

  She tilted her head slightly while her eyes went soft and large. “Telling you would ruin the surprise.”

  “Ah. Penny Lane surprises. How delightfully terrifying.”

  She smiled bright and sharp. “That’s the idea. Do you think it would be prejudiced of me to use a different method of delivery? It’s not that I have anything against Vampires, it’s just the eating of hearts in front of me. So messy.”

  “Stoneburrow does extensive deliveries. Hm. Maybe I should go into delivering packages for audacious witches with questionable goods. It could be quite exciting.”

  She slid her hand over my shoulder and the glamour over her still throbbing cut. “Drake’s Dragon Delivery, I’m sure it would do very well. I’d personally use your services loyally.”

  I blushed. Me, Drake, captain of the Chemistry Club was blushing like a Penny Lane. That meant that it was time for me to go. I cleared my throat and stood, taking a good three steps away from her. “This conversation, as invigorating as it has been, must come to an end. Please see yourself out, Miss Lane.”

  I stepped Throughside, hoping that she’d bedazzle something while I was gone.

  Ian found me in a med tent where I was patching together some men. Why was I still practicing healing when Penny had Ian and Zach to do that stuff for her? No idea, except that it seemed to be good for morale, and also I could keep an eye on the men I was supposed to own better that way without appearing too intrusive. Also it was a little bit interesting to put people back together.

  He grabbed my shoulder and dragged me Throughside, into his black bedroom then back into Darkside, in front of a Darkside Manor I’d never seen before.

  Ian nodded towards the house. “I think that you should knock on the door.”

  I frowned at him. “Are you concussed or just schizophrenic?”

  His mouth tightened and he nodded towards the house again. All right. I walked up the drive, using Revere’s travel spell to reach the steps quickly.

  I climbed and then knocked on the door. It took about three minutes for the rather charming door, carved with your classic fairy tales, to open.

  Narcollo stared out at me, face impassive. He glanced at me then at Ian and turned, leaving the door open for us to follow or not. Ian nodded once, turned and stepped Throughside, leaving me on my own. I stood in the hall, the entire thing somehow charming with little knick knacks with doilies on the shelves, an old grandfather clock ticking in a somehow not menacing way, and the inlaid floor polished and nicely glowing. This was Missy’s house. It was waiting for her like Narcollo was waiting for her.

  I wiped my boots on the mat and followed Narcollo. He led me into a room more mage than Missy, a study lined with shelves that reached the ceiling, which was fifty feet above us. It was a good room, good light for reading, a crackling fire for warmth and comfort, but the upholstery was all dark, massive, except for one bright blue chair beside the fire with an open book on the arm. Waiting for Missy.

  “What brings you here?” Narcollo went to the table covered in bottles of various bright hues and poured two drinks. I took a seat that looked the least owned by someone else. The couch. He hissed and I stood, choosing a different place, one of those uncomfortable straight-backed chairs meant for guests you don’t want to stay long.

  “Why did you meet with Missy? I’m concerned about her rehabilitation.”

  “Tell me about your witch? An aberration, but something else, something more. Hale wants her. I’m traditionally allied with Hale and Sooth, but Missy seems allied with you, with your witch.”

  “You speak of her as if Missy were a witch.”

  Narcollo shrugged his fairly massive shoulders, Darkside standard. “She spent sixty years in Darkside. I feel that she must have had traces of Darksider blood to adapt so well. Who are your allies against Sooth?”

  I took the glass he offered me and took a slight sip. Remarkably smooth, like butterscotch liquor. “This is nice.”

  He smiled, the first smile I’d seen. It was a nice smile, not creepy at all except that he was a Darksider and so it was inherently more creepy to not look creepy. “Missy’s favorite. You are allied with the Devil of Darkside?”

  I turned my glass in my hands absently as I considered the possible developments of this conversation. “Moderately. Allied against Sooth.”

  “With Huntsman paying off all his debts, I’d thought you were allied with him.”

  I winced. Oh that was a jab. Yes, stupid little Dayside mage can’t see through a deception sorcerer. “That seems to be a common misunderstanding. The Creagh believed so as well.”

  “Your witch is Sooth’s daughter?”

  I shrugged. “I have no definite proof in regards to that.”

  “How deeply is Missy involved with your Witch?”

  “They have tea parties and slumber parties. Penny isn’t a conventional witch.”

  “No, an aberration wouldn’t be. It seemed to me with the way she stepped through my shield, she is also without magic.”

  I blinked at him. He was impressive. It had taken Zach spelling it out for me to see that. “And?”

  He narrowed his eyes at me. “And Missy would be charmed by that. She’d give her loyalty probably.”

  “Probably. Penny tends to inspire irrational emotions. You seem very interested in the human’s attachments. Are you going to steal her away?”

  He shook his head, slow and steady. “I can’t steal what belongs to me.”

  I sighed. “How long are you going to allow her to live apart from you?”

  “I thought I would give her some years to live as a human, have some adorable children with a dull man before I took her back, but I begin to grow impatient.”

  I studied him. Impatient wasn’t one of his main character traits. The Devil of Darkside had established a treatise regarding humans in Darkside, a law that this Darksider clearly had issues with. I was allying, sort of, with the Devil of Darkside and the Prince of Darkness, two forces that were probably not the best representatives of the thinking
, reasonable Darkside Sorcerer. As there were such a thing.

  I scratched my head. “What I’m thinking, is that the Devil’s law could use some tweaking. Did you really feed Missy human morsels?”

  He hesitated, studying his very neon purple drink before he finally shook his head. “Darkside witches, maybe a mage or two.”

  I swallowed my next sip very carefully. “Why is that?”

  He raised his head. “To prolong her life. She’ll live for a very long time.”

  “At the expense of the lives of others.”

  “They were hunting her.”

  “Why would anyone go to the effort to hunt a human?”

  “There was a rumor that she was more than human. She was brilliant. You know how dull humans are, but she is like quicksilver. The first time I saw her, the Mavens levitated all the new humans to see them panic and flail. She danced in the air like she’d been waiting her whole life for her wings. Utterly charming, not remotely human, and a bit mad.”

  “Heady combination.”

  “After I bought her, I took her with me on my findings. She had a knack for it. But then she started aging and I started feeding her my organs.”

  I nodded because isn’t that how it goes? One kidney at a time. “Are you the one who notified me of the unhappy human that needed rescuing? Why did you want her out of Darkside?”

  He shrugged. “When she appeared at the Maven’s utterly untouched and perfectly preserved, she stirred a lot of interest. Even after I took some pieces, there were those who wouldn’t stop hunting her.”

  “That does sound irritating. You were unable to protect her?”

  He shrugged. “She’s so vulnerable. They think of her as a witch. They could crush her in a moment’s thoughtlessness.”

  “That’s a lovely story, but it makes no sense. I’ve had Missy for two years and while she’s a lovely girl, she hasn’t tempted anyone as far as I can see.”

  He raised his eyebrows as he studied me. “Perhaps I shouldn’t have allowed her to blackmail so many.”

  I stared at him. “Blackmail can be troublesome.”

  He smiled. “But she enjoyed it so much. She had a knack for finding the truth and using it like a knife to gut you.”

  I frowned at him. “She said that she went to the Mavens to report the humans locked in your kitchen. Did that not happen?”

  He raised his eyebrows. “A thriving woman in Darkside for sixty years and you think prevarication wouldn’t be far more comfortable to her than honesty? What an interesting lie for her to tell you. Are you genuinely that honorable?”

  “So you sent her to Dayside to stay with me until you’d managed to deal with all those she’d blackmailed? I didn’t think you could blackmail a Darksider. They’re supposed to be shameless.”

  He shrugged. “There are always deeds done in darkness.”

  I shook my head. Sweet, adorable Missy. It made me wonder a little bit about the other humans in my care. “You did eat her eye on top of a pudding, didn’t you?”

  He nodded. “She made it for me.”

  “Why did she go to the Mavens?”

  He shrugged. “We had a difference of opinion. I told her that it was time to take her to Dayside, and she decided that I needed to be punished for that.”

  “How would that punish you?”

  He glowered at me. “She threatened the Mavens. I had to rescue her and kill some of the least irritating Darksiders I know. Not the Mavens, but several of their associates.”

  “Ah. So then you took her eye.”

  “She took it out and fed it to me. Brought me breakfast in bed, her eye socket stuffed with cotton, is there anything more irresistible? I shouldn’t have eaten it, but I was moved with affection. Love? Sometimes I wonder.”

  “Why didn’t you wish to eat her parts if you love her?”

  “Then she is spoiled and it will be more difficult for her to adapt to Dayside. I always meant to return her, but the time never seemed right.”

  “And she kept feeding you bits of her.”

  He nodded.

  “It would be rude to refuse.”

  He shrugged. “Very difficult. Being offered love to consume…”

  I sighed and took a deep sip of the golden butterscotch with a very pleasant kick. “It sounds as though she’s kept you very entertained for a long time.”

  “Not long enough, but Darkside is still unsafe for her.”

  “Perhaps you should move to Dayside with her.”

  “I suppose I could have a home in Dayside. She would not be satisfied unless she found other games to play.”

  “Penny games are always delirious. Would you consider allying against Sooth and if so, what would you require?”

  “As you say, adapting the Devil’s law would be helpful. Perhaps it would be the mistreatment of humans rather than the owning of them.”

  “Or perhaps we could go a long way and say humans are capable of choosing for themselves.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Perhaps. It would require a new treaty.”

  I nodded while my stomach fell out of my shoes. I was not a treaty mage, not like this. I wasn’t really an alliance mage, either. No, Huntsman was supposed to be mercenary, without sides, completely independent. Otherwise, you got involved in a skirmish where one side won and one side lost, and eventually, Huntsman would lose, which would be extremely unprofitable. Winning and losing weren’t important so long as you made a solid profit.

  “I’m not a Sorcerer in Darkside. I’m not accustomed to allying with them.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “You’re a Dragon Lord. Surely that is enough to assuage your sense of inferiority as a Daysider.”

  I gave him a hard smile. My sense of inferiority was not from that. “I shall consider the possibilities of a treaty.”

  “You’re the human rescuer. You’re the green mage who fights with utter brilliance and lack of subtlety. You’re inconsistent to the point of panic on which side you fight on or how you deploy your armies, most of which are now personally sworn to you. You are personally powerful enough to threaten any sorcerer who didn’t have something over you, like Sooth has. I consider you a greater threat than the Prince of Darkness himself.”

  I smiled. That was actually really nice to hear. “Your flattery is epic. As I said, I will consider a treaty, but keep your expectations low.”

  He studied me. “Sooth is a threat that grows greater the more it is revealed. Hale is in bed with him in hopes of procuring the witch. Missy the Darksiders would fight for, die to take, but your witch, she is worth worlds.”

  I winced. “Which is why she’s staying in Dayside.”

  “Where you can protect her with a fraction of your assets.”

  “Exactly. We’ve had an extremely long conversation. Are you satisfied?”

  He raised his eyebrows. “You came to see me. Are you?”

  I stood and shifted my shoulders. “Not remotely. Now I’m terrified that your witch will corrupt mine.”

  Narcollo smiled, not nearly so nice. “She’s not a witch.”

  “And Carl isn’t a Necromancer. The things you do to humans are terrifying. I need to go cuddle a mouse.”

  I stepped throughside, and came out in the parking lot of the Chinese restaurant. Signore’s brown truck was parked next to an ostentatious black ’56 Oldsmobile with a witch flying on a broom hood ornament. I walked inside and nodded at the server who stared at me, slightly panicked while I took a menu and headed to the booth on the other side of the restaurant from Signore.

  Penny sat with the devil, eating her Szechwan chicken like she was starved, waving her arms around while she made a point. The devil ate his meal with slightly less intensity, but he kept his eyes on her as though watching for a crack in her glamour. No, she really was that lovely, that sweet, that capable of eating massive quantities of food.

  I hadn’t kissed her long enough. A treaty. Ian had been interested in that sort of thing before Goldie hatched. Penny had some so
y sauce on her chin. I was going to defeat Sooth, naturally, but working together with other Sorcerers was an idiotic idea. That’s why Narcollo wasn’t proposing a treaty. Look at Penny’s grandmother, who did the last one, oh, you couldn’t because she was locked up by the Devil. They wouldn’t sign a contract unless it eventual brought you into ruin and them into power over you.

  The devil looked up and met my eyes. For a moment I heard a scrap of their conversation.

  Penny said, “In exchange for the contract, all you want is for me to name my first son after you? Why?”

  I didn’t hear the rest as the Devil respelled his sound barrier. She was so beautiful. Devil Huntsman. Had a ring to it. I shook my head. Devil Stoneburrow. Not nearly as good. I got up and went outside. Seeing her with someone so dark and dangerous made my skin crawl. Seeing Signore as her supposed protector after what he’d done to her, nauseating and infuriating. I’d been trying not to feel anger. Once I started it would be difficult to stop.

  Zach walked towards me from out of the shadows. “You should go hunting.”

  “Why? Darksider Sorcerers want me to make a treaty for them, ally with them.”

  He frowned. “Aren’t you allying with them?” He nodded into the restaurant.

  “Here and there, but nothing long-term, nothing official.”

  “’Making alliances is bad business.”

  “I know.”

  “I’ll ally with you, if you’d like.”

  I punched his shoulder. “You always were a terrible businessman.”

  Chapter 12

  Witch

  The Devil of Darkside was really nice. Not very grandfatherly, not with his whole vampire thing going on, all blatantly dyed black hair, dramatically receding hairline and pasty white skin. And his red tongue. Maybe it was the Signore thing, hearing he was some vampire prince mage, that had vampires in my head, but the whole time I was waiting for him to count in a dramatic Transylvanian accent.

  He asked questions about my classes, how I liked living in Dayside vs. Darkside, like I knew the difference, and whether I liked doing hurters better than tourneys. He clearly knew all my secrets. I had serious questions for him.