He shrugged his massive shoulders. “That kind of thing doesn’t really happen in Darkside. Sorry. It sounded really evocative.”
Drake sighed and grabbed my elbow. “Penny, you can’t go to Darkside looking for your mysterious fiancé. Your best friend, Signore will kill you or your dad will rip you apart if you go to Darkside.”
“I think I can find him,” Lester said. “I think I can bring him here. What if we do a time bubble on the wedding, take care of everything else and then Drake goes ahead and marries Penny in Zach’s place?”
We all stared at him. He kind of shrank back from all the attention. He was so sweet. I grabbed his hand. He met my eyes calmly, like he was waiting for me to mage swear him to something. He didn’t mind. He never minded. Didn’t he lie constantly? He was a bit odd. Adorably so.
“What’s in it for you?” I asked.
He smiled and squeezed my hand. “We’re allied, right? You’re going to be a world maker. Also, if I help with your wedding probably my projects will be well-funded by Stoneburrow and Huntsman if he ever gets his business in order. Also, I like you.”
I smiled at him. “Okay.”
“Wait, not okay. We have to set up wards and protective barriers, and allowing a Darksider here who isn’t Signore, not okay.” Zach’s voice rose and he accidentally pulled a weapon.
I snagged it out of his hand and put it in the top of my boot. “I don’t see how Signore is okay. Also, why isn’t he here? Wouldn’t he be a good person to involve in this whole thing?”
“Can’t come out of the church because this is the heart of Stoneburrow land. It’s incredibly well protected.”
“We can meet in a half-world,” Lester said.
“An unprotected half-world? Not the best idea,” Drake said.
“Isn’t her house one of those?” Zach asked.
“Meeting an ally of my father’s at my mother’s house? She’d kill me.”
Drake frowned. “No, that’s actually a good idea.”
“No, it’s not.” I scowled at him. He was so beautiful. Was there any chance that I could actually marry him? Of course not. If I didn’t have to marry him, why would he marry me? Would I marry him even if I didn’t have to? I took a step closer to him while my heart ached with longing. In a heartbeat. I was such an idiot.
He looked at me, his eyes gleaming, shot through with acid green. Was any color more beautiful? He cleared his throat. “Is this what you want to do?”
I glanced at Zach’s scowl, Lester’s thoughtful frown and nodded. “Don’t you think that I can irritate him enough to decide that he’d rather not marry me? But what else can I give him?”
“First, we’ll find out what he wants. Everyone wants something.” Drake didn’t say it like that would be difficult to give him what he wanted. The only Darksider I knew, wanted a kiss for his brother. That had been unpleasant, but it was valuable. I was valuable.
I nodded. “Let’s do it.”
Chapter 27
Witch
Lester stepped out of existence and Zach strode towards the church, leaving me with Drake.
He cleared his throat. “Why aren’t you marrying Stoneburrow?”
I shifted beside him. “He loves me.”
“Ah. So I’m a much better candidate since I don’t love you.”
I glanced at him then away at the horse that just shook her mane. It was so beautiful and peaceful there. “No one would have to marry me if we defeated my father.”
“I think I would.” His voice was a low murmur and the scent of ashes and black cherries wafted around me.
“Why?” I gripped the fence and studied the brown horse intently, like brown was my favorite color or something.
“I really liked tucking you in bed.” He brushed the back of my hand, barely a touch, but it burned.
I laughed and sounded half hysterical. That one stupid touch raced through all of me making my pulse throb and my stomach tighten. “I remember. You tied me with my hair. I begged you to marry me. Begged you. What changed?”
He exhaled and slid his hand around my waist. “Do you want me to beg? Please, Penny. If we defeat your father, marry this wicked mage and make him miserable for the rest of his life. If you’d like, I’ll spell my hair long so you can tie me up anywhere you like. I’ve wanted to hang in your attic ever since I saw your life-sized voodoo doll. I’ve craved your sweetness, your darkness, your lollipops from the moment you grass stained my perfect wool pants. I can be useful to you. I can give you dragon rides beneath a full moon. I can immaculately press your tea party outfits. I can make you scream from pleasure, pain, and a million things in between.” His voice was the merest whisper, breath hot against my ear before he nipped the tender skin with his sharp teeth then enclosed it with his wet mouth.
I went limp with his arms. He tasted my skin as though he had all the time in the world.
“Drake, why would you want to marry me? Seriously?” I tried to push him away, but only gripped his shoulders and pulled him closer. Traitorous fingers.
“Seriously?” His voice was a low growl. He scraped his teeth over the side of my neck. “It will infuriate all the females and most of the males at Rosewood.” He cupped the base of my head and enclosed my throat with his mouth, his tongue. His tongue, which I hated so very little. “It will give me the chance to torment you in new and mesmerizing ways.” His hand slid down to my shoulder and his nails bit into the skin around my Huntsman logo. “Seriously? I’m a dragon lord. The call to Darkside has always been incredibly strong, but the call to you is much stronger. I want you in my bed as long as I live.”
I inhaled as his lips went lower, to the collar of my dress. It seemed much too high. “Your bed would have to be at least a few acres across.”
He raised his face to stare into my eyes. “Penny, that is an extremely good point. My bed isn’t big enough to keep you in. And it doesn’t swing. Maybe I should stop trying to convince you to marry me. I’m the worst mage you could possibly marry. I mean, other than being the second handsomest mage in the world. Are you incredibly superficial? That would help.”
I laughed and took his face in my hands. “You are the worst mage in the world because you’re the sweetest, most selfless, compassionate, loyal, brave and good person I’ve ever met.”
He went so pale that his freckles stood out. “You don’t have to insult me quite so thoroughly.”
I kissed him as he tried to pull away. I kissed him until his arms came around me and he kissed me with a wildly euphoric mix of tenderness and wildness that left me dizzy and wobbly when he finally pulled away.
“Ah, my heart, my soul, my breathtakingly inane lollipop queen, how could I live without you? Marry me.”
“If I marry you, sometimes I’ll bring Senor Mort to bed with me and he’ll nip you if you don’t behave.”
He sighed heavily then grinned, sharp teeth gleaming beneath his sparkling eyes. “Jello might eat you.”
I giggled. “As long as our expectations are clear.”
“As long as Senor Mort isn’t the only one that nips me.”
“As long as Jello isn’t the only one who eats me.”
Drake’s eyes widened. “Penny Lane, are you suggesting that I make a morsel out of you?”
I cocked my head and studied him for a long time. “Who needs ten toes?”
He pulled me against him, holding my head firmly so I couldn’t look at him or scrape his neck with my teeth. “Don’t tempt a wicked mage. I would give you all the fingers of my right hand if you wished it.”
“I think they’re much more useful attached to you, but I’ll remember the offer. Drake, I’m afraid that if I marry you, I’ll be too happy.”
“Good. I will do my best. I will genuinely do everything in my power to make you as deliriously happy as possible.”
He kissed my fingers one by one, only nibbling on my pinkie for a moment before he gave me a wicked smile. “You will marry me. You didn’t even put up a fight. You were proba
bly about to propose to me. I should have held out for it. I adore you begging me to love you. I think about it often, all the things I could have said instead of…” He winced. “I am sorry. Self-sacrifice is a miserable thing. Let’s not do it ever again.”
I laughed. “I thought you liked being miserable.”
“Not like that. Making you hurt like that gave me no pleasure. I was rather surprised, but it’s not the torture I have in mind for you.” He smiled sharply then stepped away from me, dropping my hand. “Ah, here’s Signore, and Narcollo. And Missy.” He said that last name sharply.
I turned and saw Missy coming towards us in her neat gray suit with matching hat. She looked a bit like a grandmother, a very young grandmother. Narcollo followed like he was her porter, massive and devoted.
Signore followed, his hands curled into fists as he came closer. I gripped Drake’s hand for some reason.
“Penny, are you actually going to talk to the Son of Hale?” Missy asked, coming through the weeds off the side of the road in her super cute buttoned up boots.
I lifted my chin. “Absolutely. I can’t stand the idea that there’s a viciously evil Darksider that I don’t know. I think I’ll make a voodoo doll for all my personal Darksider acquaintances, starting with Signore. Or should I call you, ‘Darkness’?”
Signore lowered his eyebrows over the pits that were his eyes. “Prince of Darkness is my title. Ludi is my delivery name. Specifically, it means Deliverer in Darksider. As in I deliver lives to death and packages to customers.”
“Your assassin name is also a delivery name? That’s such a great pun. Isn’t that a great pun, Drake?”
“So great. Signore, would you bring Penny in your truck to her mother’s house?”
“Son of Hale should not be there. Bring him here.”
“You don’t think he’ll spook my horses for miles and miles?” Zach asked, coming over, looking slightly out of breath.
Signore shrugged. “He is good with pets. Works with wyvern.”
“Good with pets? Really?” I asked.
Drake scowled at me. “Penny, he’s a Darksider son of a Sorcerer. A notorious sorcerer.”
“But he’s good with pets.”
“And he’ll look at you like a pet.” He narrowed his eyes at me and the dark green came to life as he slid his hand around my waist, pulling me closer to him.
“Who marries pets? Super kinky.”
Zach sighed. “Fine, he can come here, but he’d be an idiot if he came defenseless.”
A rip in the sky was all the warning we had. Enormous horns pierced the world and then this creature, eight feet high with a rack above that which would make an elk proud, stepped into the pasture with the horse.
The horse raised her head, flared her nostrils then went back to grazing. I stared at the creature with the rack as he turned his head, looking around until his eyes fell on me. His eyes were the gold of daffodils and sunsets on lakes, bright and happy. They may have looked creepier if he wasn’t covered in pale green velvet, mottled darker greens over his chest.
The important thing about this encounter was that he was wearing pants.
I climbed on top of the fence while Drake stayed close behind me, his hand on my waist ready to pull me away if the creature made any sudden movements.
“Hi! I’m Penny Lane. Are you, um, I don’t even know how to say it. Do you speak Daysider?”
He bowed, his enormous rack slicing through the air with a whoosh that stirred my hair around my face. He straightened and smiled. He had straight teeth. “My mother is English. She is concerned with my proper diction.”
I blinked at the enormous horned man with an English accent. I glanced at Drake and whispered, “He has an English accent. Do you think he feels as soft as he looks?”
Drake rolled his eyes and grabbed my chin, focusing me back on our strange guest. “Pardon Miss Lane. She doesn’t quite understand that Darkside’s wild variance of appearances doesn’t equate with mental acuity.”
The Son of Hale nodded his enormous antlers. His neck was massive. It had to be to hold up that masterpiece on his head. Could I swing on the rack? The tips looked razor sharp but the rest of him so soft and fuzzy, like lamb’s ears.
“She hasn’t ever been to Darkside. I understand. Would you prefer me to wear a glamour?”
I shook my head. “Oh, no. You’re beautiful. Like a tree come to life. I love climbing trees. Not that I’d like to climb on you, except sort of. Do you think your neck could hold me up if I sat in your horns?”
He blinked at me. Maybe I was talking too fast. Maybe I wasn’t making any sense. “You would like to climb on me? As your husband I would be obliged to acquiesce to your wishes.”
I blinked at him. Oh. I blushed. Of course I blushed. “Um, that’s good.” I shook my head. “No, it’s not good. I’m not marrying someone I’ve never met just because my brutal father thought it would be a good idea. If you’re his choice, no offense, you’re not the one for me.”
He smiled. He had a very nice smile. “I am not his choice. My father made a deal with him. I am willing to make a deal with you.”
“What kind of deal?”
He took a step closer to me and Drake’s hand tightened painfully, fingers slipping into where my ribs would be if my father hadn’t stolen them. I winced and dropped off the fence, closer to Hale’s son.
Sound cut off. I froze and turned back to see Drake and Zach. Their faces were frozen. Only Signore seemed to watch me like he wasn’t paralyzed with whatever Hale had done. What was going on? Signore’s eyes burned red, but he kept his position.
I whirled around to find the elk man three feet away from me. He was even taller up close, and me not up on the fence. I wasn’t used to looking up so high. “What did you do?”
“Privacy. I hope you don’t mind.” His accent was so charming. He smiled again, showing no teeth, but he had a dimple in his cheek.
I reached up and he lowered his head so I could touch his cheek and feel that dimple. “You really are that soft. No, softer.”
He sat down in the grass so I was almost eye-level with him. He shook his horns. “I only hope I don’t shed this lot and have a larger one grow in. We’ve had to spell all the doorways at home. Mother hates that.”
I smiled and put a hand on his shoulder. So soft. “What’s it like to have a human mother? Does she bake cookies?”
He nodded and I got the breeze from his rack. “Gingersnaps and chocolate chip are her favorite. I don’t want to be rude, but I think our time together is limited. Do you mind if I get to the point?”
I shook my head, glancing back at Signore. His eyes burned like the last cake I’d tried to bake. Cookies. Fresh hot cookies from the oven. “Please. Do you know what I want? Did Lester tell you?”
He nodded. “He’s being held captive, to make certain no harm comes to me, of course. I’ll release him as soon as I leave here.”
“Oh. Please don’t hurt him.” I put my hand on his arm, his soft velvet skin over muscles like tree trunks. “Lester is the nicest mage I know.”
“Of course not. You’re accustomed to the Prince of Darkness and the Devil. There are other kinds of sorcerers who would be slower to take advantage.”
“The fuzzy kind.”
He smiled again, and again that dimple. So adorable. He went serious and his eyes narrowed. “Your father, Sooth, agreed to give you to my father as my wife. I can’t change that and maintain the debts you’re trying to collect. I can give you his debts, but I would have to keep you as my wife.”
I shook my head. “That makes no sense. If you don’t have a wife, you’d owe nothing to Sooth and therefore have no debts.”
“I have his debts to hold for him, not to pay off. That would be the alliance that he bought outright for you.”
“Alliance?”
“My armies at his disposal for certain periods of time.”
“You have armies? Do you have dragons?”
He smiled and shrugg
ed. “I train the wyvern. And griffins. And a few more species that have no English name. Do you like dragons?”
I blushed and glanced back at Drake where he was still frozen. “You could say that. But, I can’t be married to you. Sorry.”
He shrugged his massive shoulders and stood once more towering over me. “All right. I understand. Best of luck with your father.”
He turned to go. What? I grabbed his arm and after two steps he noticed that he was dragging me along.
“Excuse me, but I’m worth more as an ally. Your father is a sorcerer, right? And your mother’s a human? Has he started going mad yet? When he does, won’t he hurt her? Humans are so delicate. I can take his madness. You love her. I can tell. Who wouldn’t love someone who bakes chocolate chip cookies and gingersnaps? I already like her and I haven’t ever met her. She probably hasn’t lit you on fire once. Human mothers are the best. What do you think? Also, do you have a name? I’d probably have to meet with your dad once a year or something to keep the madness at bay. Surely sanity would be worth more than a few bills.”
He glanced down at my hand where I still clung to his arm. Was that bad manners? Probably. It was in Dayside, why wouldn’t it be in Darkside?
“Why do you object to marrying me? You haven’t flinched from my antlers or my green skin.”
“I’m going to marry someone else.”
“Ah, the Green mage. So, you don’t object to green.”
“You’re beautiful. I’m sure you can find dozens of females much better suited to you.”
He studied me for a long time, those yellow eyes like cat’s eyes. “I’m not interested in females, not witches anyway.”
I blinked at him. “You prefer mages?”
He smiled sharply. “I prefer trees and the wind through my antlers as I race across the Hale plains. Rolling grasses as far as the eye can see, blue grass, blue, green and yellow, with the sun setting behind me. It doesn’t make a difference. My father wishes you to be my wife. I am willing to make it an alliance, his sanity for my strength, or other assets of mine you desire, you’re right, stealing away madness is a very valuable gift, but you will be my bride. You won’t notice it in any way unless you leave Dayside for Darkside. Even then, I will not intrude on your space.”
Deadly Morsel: Rosewood Academy of Witches and Mages (Darkly Sweet Book 5) Page 25