A cold sweat broke out over her body. That horrid moment replaying before her eyes in vivid clarity. She felt the flames licking against her body. Mei’s pained screams echoed in her ears.
“Akane!” The head priestess slammed her hand onto the table.
The flames were overlaying the head priestess, and her eyes were empty black holes. Akane took a ragged breath, trying to keep the tears from falling in front of the head priestess. She stood up to pace the room, and after a few turns the visions faded. Akane’s entire body was trembling as she leaned against the bookcase.
“I know you are fond of her, but she must go back to the White Palace.”
She swore after Mei, she would see Tomoe reach her full potential. To come this close to the end and fail, it felt like she was betraying Mei’s memory.
“It’s not too late. Her power could manifest!” Akane said.
“This is not open for discussion.” The head priestess’ voice rose. “I told you because I know you are close. But you are nothing but a protector. It is not your decision to make.”
Akane lowered her head once more. It wasn’t her place to make that judgment. She could never be pure like a kamigakari; she couldn’t receive the kami’s light. Though she’d sworn herself in service to the kami hundreds of years ago, as a yokai she would always be tainted, a beast, who by her very nature was impure.
“Tomoe’s path will diverge from yours. A replacement will arrive and take her place. The cycle continues on.”
But Akane couldn’t help but feel like this was her fault. “Yes, Head Priestess.”
Just then the door flung open. Tomoe stood there with her face flushed. “I won’t go back there. I refuse.”
“Be reasonable,” the head priestess tried to say.
“How can you both decide my life for me without consulting me?”
“No one’s life is their own, child,” the head priestess replied.
“Well, mine is!” Tomoe’s face was flushed, her eyes bright.
More than anything Akane wanted to pull her into her arms. Soothe her like she did when she was a child. But the head priestess was right, they couldn’t risk her life.
“You’re not fit to be a kamigakari,” Akane said, her voice thick.
“But you said—”
“Enough,” the head priestess said, her voice like a whip crack.
“How could you?” Tomoe took a step back; the full weight of her glare was fixed on Akane. She couldn’t meet Tomoe’s gaze.
She loved Tomoe like the daughter she’d never had. And in many ways, she had used her as a replacement for Mei. If she had been less selfish she would have seen that Tomoe wasn’t fit. She could have returned to the palace and lived a normal life. Not be forced into a life she had never wanted.
“I won’t do it.” Tomoe turned and fled down the hall, tears shimmering in her eyes.
“Tomoe!”
She never could stand to see her cry. She had to explain, to make her understand just how dangerous staying here would be.
Shinon jogged toward them, but Tomoe pushed past her. Shinon spun in place. Her brows rose to her hairline as she watched Tomoe run.
“What’s going on?” Shinon asked.
Tomoe turned around a corner and disappeared from sight.
“You were supposed to be watching her!” If Shinon had only done as the head priestess ordered, Akane could have broken the news to Tomoe gently.
“I was. I only looked away for a second—”
Akane slapped her hard against the face. Of course she’d let her escape. Who knew what she’d been doing while Akane’s back was turned. It was Akane’s fault for hesitating for even a moment to tell the head priestess about what she’d done.
Shinon pressed her hand to her reddening cheek. “You hit me.”
“I don’t know why you’re here, but you’ve been nothing but trouble since you arrived.”
Shinon blinked at her as Akane knocked into her shoulder on her way to follow Tomoe.
Tomoe had retreated to her room. Akane slammed her palm against the door.
“Tomoe, let me explain,” she pleaded.
She pushed to open the door, but it wouldn’t budge. She pressed her shoulder against the frame, preparing to force her way in.
“Go away!” Tomoe screamed.
What was she doing? She couldn’t force Tomoe to understand. Akane pressed her head against the door, sighing heavily. When Tomoe was angry the only thing that healed was time. Nothing Akane could say would make any difference.
“What got her worked up?” Shinon asked.
She hadn’t even noticed Shinon sneaking up on her. Akane rolled her head away from Shinon. She was too emotionally drained to try and send her away. “Why do you care?” Akane mumbled against the door.
“You may not believe it but I’m not a bad gu-er.” She cleared her throat. “Girl.”
Akane ran her hands through her hair and sighed. “As a potential kamigakari, she must have immense spiritual power in order to house the kami’s spirit. Without it, the kami would destroy her.” Mei’s screams filled Akane’s ears for the second time that day.
Akane pushed off the door and paced the hall, to outrun the memories. Shinon watched her, head cocked to the side. She made no comment for which Akane was grateful.
“I take it Tomoe doesn’t have what it takes?” Shinon asked.
“Tomoe has shown no spiritual sensitivity, so she’s being sent away.”
“Ah.”
A tense silence followed. Akane looked to the door, hoping Shinon would catch the hint and leave. Better yet, she’d leave the shrine entirely and never come back.
“Why do you need a living kami, anyway?”
Akane laughed bitterly. “Strange question coming from a shrine guardian.” She didn’t believe for a moment that Shinon was who she claimed to be. But she didn’t have time to deal with her right now.
Shinon scoffed. “I just mean, it’s not like the kami care about any of this. They haven’t in a long time.” Shinon sighed heavily, her head tilted back to stare at the sky over head.
She wanted to challenge Shinon and use that statement to expose her. But there was something in Shinon’s expression that Akane could relate to. For a very long time she’d felt forsaken by the kami. Ever since Mei had died, she felt like the kami had turned her back on her.
Shinon blew out a long breath, then smiled. “How about I try talking to her?”
Akane pressed her lips into a thin line. “Why would I let you do that?”
“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to let her get away from me, but she’s deceptively quick.”
Akane cracked a smile. When Tomoe sensed gossip, she couldn’t be deterred. She supposed she couldn’t begrudge Shinon that. And maybe she was being too harsh on her. She assumed she was the bad guy, but if she did work for Akio wouldn’t she have attacked them by now? Somehow she couldn’t imagine one of his minions waiting around through an entire day of prayers without taking action.
“I don’t think she’ll talk to you.”
Shinon shrugged. “You never know. Sometimes it takes someone who knows what you’re going through.”
“And you know what it’s like to be a kamigakari?” Akane raised her eyebrows.
“I know what it’s like to not be in control of your own life.”
It was crazy to even consider. But if Shinon had been abandoned by the kami she served, maybe she could relate to Tomoe in a way she couldn’t.
“It’s worth a shot.” Akane gestured toward the door as she stepped out of Shinon’s way.
Shinon knocked on the door with her knuckle. “Tomoe, I’m coming in.”
Again, there was no answer. Shinon pressed her shoulder against the door and pushed. Whatever she’d pushed against the door groaned. Then the door slowly slid open, giving Shinon enough room to slip inside.
“Uh, Akane, you need to see this.”
The room was empty. Akane turned in place, as if she exp
ected Tomoe to be hiding in the shadows. Her futon was folded in the corner where it had been that morning. The chest where Tomoe’s kept her clothes had hair ribbons spilling out of it. More clothes and trinkets were strewn across the tatami. The white haori Tomoe had been wearing was flung over the base of the brazier and her red hakama pooled on the ground as if they’d been stepped out of and left behind. At the far end of the room, the round window was open. Tomoe was gone.
7
Akane leaped out the window and landed silently onto the ground. As she sprinted toward the forest that surrounded the shrine, footsteps hammered on the ground behind her. Shinon came up along her right side and grinned.
“I thought you might want some help,” she said before Akane could ask for an explanation.
“I don’t need your help. If you had been watching her like you were supposed to, she wouldn’t have heard what the head priestess said,” Akane said, before racing ahead.
Tomoe didn’t have much of a head start. The forest was a tangled maze of undergrowth. Tomoe would have had to wade through it, and it should slow her down. Akane felt confident she’d find her in no time.
But as the minutes ticked by and she saw no sign of Tomoe, panic started to set in. She scanned the forest as she turned in a slow circle. Dark shadows loomed in all directions, monsters of her imagination crept in close to her. Akane’s thoughts swirled with all the things that could have happened. A roaming yokai could have cornered Tomoe, she could have tripped and broken her neck.
Akane’s chest heaved. There was a boulder nearby with a steep fall on the other side. Very slowly, she looked over the edge. In her mind’s eye, she saw visions of Tomoe’s broken body smashed against the rocks.
Nothing but boulders greeted her. She let out a shaking breath. Where should she even start to look then? Tomoe was impulsive, but she had never done something this reckless before. What if the yokai who were kidnapping priestesses were out here?
“She’s not here?” Shinon asked.
Akane spun around. In a rage, she lunged toward her. Her nails had elongated into claws, and she slashed at the yokai. Her inner wolf howled for blood. She caught Shinon along her cheek. Three thin cuts trickled blood. Shinon wiped them away with the back of her hand.
“What was that for?” Shinon asked, staring at the crimson blood against her tan skin.
She’d been a fool to trust Shinon for even a moment. She must be one of Akio’s wolves. They must have kidnapped Tomoe.
“I knew I couldn’t trust you from the moment I saw you. Where’s Tomoe?” Akane asked while pacing around Shinon.
“You’ve got the wrong idea about me.” Shinon held her hands up in surrender.
She lunged for Shinon again, who dodged. They spun to face one another. Shinon’s stance was wide and her body curved at an angle to Akane. Akane feigned toward her left and caught Shinon with an uppercut that sent Shinon staggering backward. Blood trickled down her lip, which was already swelling.
“I don’t want to fight you,” Shinon said.
Akane answered with a howl as she rushed Shinon, barreling into her middle. The force knocked Shinon off her feet, and Akane pinned her onto the ground. Shinon pushed back, breaking one arm free and grabbing Akane around the neck to bring her to the ground. They rolled around for a few moments until Shinon caught Akane around her waist, and pinned her to her chest with her legs wrapped around her torso.
Instead of feeling the soft curves of a woman, hard planes and corded muscles pressed against her. Akane frowned, confused by the sensation, and ceased struggling for just a moment.
“Are you going to listen to me, or are you going to take another swing at me?” Shinon asked. There was something very familiar about this situation.
Akane clenched and unclenched her fist. “Let me go and find out.”
The wind rustled through the trees, as Shinon sighed. And then she inhaled deeply.
“What are you doing... are you smelling me?” Akane asked, horrified.
“Do you smell it?” Shinon asked.
She floundered for a moment. Normally, Akane was hesitant to use her yokai ability in front of others. But Shinon wasn’t a human priestess, but a yokai. Shinon released Akane to stand and sniff the air. Her head tilted back, nostrils flared. Akane turned to give a half-hearted sniff as well. Tomoe had been here.
“She’s close by,” Akane said.
Shinon’s eye sparkled with excitement.
“This isn’t over.” She didn’t have time to fight Shinon right now. She took off in the direction Tomoe had gone. All that mattered was making sure Tomoe was safe.
It had been too long since she’d relied on her wolf senses. It was like seeing the light for the first time after living in the dark. The leaves were greener and the tantalizing scent of animals teased her nostrils. Birds calling out to one another at the opposite end of the forest sounded as if they were right beside her. The forest had come alive. It was almost dizzying. She’d forgotten what it was like to be a wolf.
Tomoe’s scent weaved through the forest, like a trail of breadcrumbs. And as she got closer, Tomoe’s scent became like a glowing light against the energy of the forest and its inhabitants.
The tangy scent of Tomoe’s sweat was intoxicating. Her inner wolf relished the chase, the spice of fear radiating off Tomoe. Tomoe fumbled over underbrush, stumbling as she turned and saw Akane approaching.
Tomoe picked up her pace. Akane was faster and she closed the distance. The trees tightened together ahead. There was nowhere for Tomoe to escape. Tomoe came to a skidding halt.
Akane, high on the hunt, stalked back and forth, blocking her way. Tomoe bolted to the right. Akane grabbed her by the arm. She twisted it behind her back.
“Let me go,” Tomoe said, “You’re hurting me.”
Akane dropped her arm and took a step back. What was she doing? It felt like she was waking from a dream. The lure of the yokai power had almost overwhelmed her. She would never have forgiven herself if she’d hurt Tomoe.
Tomoe rubbed her arm. Red welts raised up on her pale skin. Akane reached out for her, but Tomoe took a step back.
“I’m not going back.” Tomoe bared her teeth at Akane.
Her inner wolf, still too close to the surface, growled.
Tomoe shrunk back, her eyes wide.
Akane rubbed a hand over her face before taking a deep breath. “What were you thinking running away? You could have been killed,” Akane asked.
Tomoe jutted her chin. Her eyes were red and puffy from crying. “You think I’m a child.”
“It’s not safe for any priestess right now.”
“I can fight.” She reached for a blunt weapon she must have stolen from the armory.
Akane sighed. Tomoe needed to face reality. She didn’t belong at the temple, she had to go back to the palace. A girl with no training wouldn’t stand a chance on her own.
“Be reasonable.” Akane held her hand out for Tomoe.
“I am. I’d rather die than marry him.”
Akane jerked her head backward. “What are you talking about marriage?” Akane asked. The head priestess hadn’t said anything about marriage.
“My half-brother, by the emperor’s second wife.” Tomoe scrunched her nose.
“Wait.” Akane held her hand up and shook her head. “No one said anything about marriage.”
“When you went away on that mission, she came to the temple. The head priestess sold me to the Emperor’s second wife!”
Akane shook her head, that wasn’t possible. The head priestess was a good woman. She only had the interest of the temple and the priestesses in mind. Tomoe must have misunderstood something. “That can’t be true.”
“You don’t know!” Tomoe shouted. “You’re blind to the outside world, Akane. Not everyone is pure and good like Mei.” She spat her name like a curse.
“Hey!” Shinon said.
Akane’s entire body went rigid as she placed herself between Shinon and Tomoe.
> “Leave now. Or I will kill you.” Akane bared her teeth at her.
“But—”
Tomoe took advantage of Akane’s distraction and bolted. Akane chased her for a few feet before tackling her and spinning her to face her.
“You’re coming back to the temple, whether you like it or not,” Akane said as Tomoe wriggled in her grasp.
“I won’t be your replacement for Mei.”
Akane hesitated, the words tangled her up inside. She thought she’d been better about hiding her feelings, but perhaps she was more transparent than she’d thought. It was true. Ever since Mei had died all she had thought about was making it up to her. She thought helping the next kamigakari reach her full potential would wash away some of Akane’s sins. How had she been so blind as to not see she was hurting her only friend in the process?
“You were never a replacement. You’re you, and she was—”
Tomoe slammed her elbow into Akane’s gut and then slid out of her grasp and made a run for it. She’d learned more during those midnight practices than Akane had realized.
She jumped up and as Tomoe tried to flee, Akane cut her off. She threw her arms out to stop her.
“Please, Tomoe, come back with me.” She held out her hand.
Tomoe looked away. “If you’re only worried about getting in trouble with the head priestess, then run away with me.”
Akane dropped her gaze. Tears gathered along her lashes. Tomoe couldn’t possibly know that Mei had said those exact same words to her the night before the ceremony. If they had run away together, would Mei be alive now? Or would Akane’s very nature still have betrayed her in the end? There was no way of knowing.
“Guys,” Shinon said. She hadn’t even realized she’d followed them. “We have company.”
Two oni trudged toward them, wielding clubs the size of Akane on their shoulders. With a hand that could crack her head open like a nut, they pushed back tree branches. Their footsteps shook the ground beneath them. Without any weapons it would be impossible to make an impact on their thick scaly hide.
Akane had never come across yokai in these woods before. Especially oni, who traditionally lived in the mountains northeast of here.
Okami: A Little Red Riding Hood Retelling Page 5