by Jan Bowles
All things being equal, she’d want him to. She’d encourage him even. Nolan had wrecked her life, and she wanted payback. The only thing stopping her from goading Leon into killing him would be the unavoidable consequence that the man she loved would end up behind bars for the rest of his life. It would be a hollow victory.
Galvanizing herself into action, she leaped from the bed, rushed to the bathroom, and pulled a towel from the rack. After running it under the cold tap and then wringing it out, she hurried back to Leon.
A sizeable pool of blood stained the rug beneath his feet, and he stood with his forehead pressed against the cool stone wall.
Paige stroked a hand down his naked back. “Leon, are you okay?”
He turned his head to look at her, his eyes darkened pits brimming with anger, although his voice was surprisingly calm. “Am I okay, baby? It doesn’t matter about me. It’s you that’s important.”
Without asking, she took hold of his damaged hand and wrapped the damp towel around it. Within seconds the blood showed through.
“I need to know everything, however unpleasant.”
“I want to tell you, Leon, but I’m afraid you’ll—”
“Kill him? Rip his fucking heart out with my bare hands?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I can’t promise you I won’t, but he’s not here right now. So it’s quite safe to tell me.”
The bloodstained towel wrapped around his hand had unraveled so she tucked the loose end back in. “You need to go to hospital.”
“It’s nothing.”
Typical Leon. The man was bleeding badly, but he dismissed his injury, passing it off as a mere scratch.
“Come back to bed, please.” Pleading always worked well and would hopefully appeal to his dominant nature.
“Okay.” He seemed to be calming down, and after kissing her gently on the lips, said, “And then you can tell me everything.”
She nodded. “I won’t hold anything back, Leon, but what I tell you won’t be pretty.”
They lay naked together on the bed, her head resting in the crook of his shoulder, her body turned so her legs and arms wrapped around him. She heard his heart beat. It was slower now, and she thanked God for that.
Leon feathered his fingers through her hair. “I’m quite calm. Go on.”
She took a deep breath. This would be painful for them both. “It was fourteen months ago.” She forced an ironic laugh. “To the very day to be exact. I’d returned home from work, and everything seemed normal, just as it had for the previous three months. I was starting to feel like my old self again, and my life with Nolan was becoming a distant memory. Anyway, after putting on my pajamas, I settled down to watch an old black-and-white movie, one with Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers. I wasn’t alone.” She tried to lighten the mood, knowing full well that it wouldn’t work. “Because I had a tub of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream for company.”
As she lifted her head to look at him, she saw his stony-faced expression. However, to let her know he was right there with her, he continued to feather his fingers through her hair. “Go on, baby.”
A tightness in her chest began to constrict her breathing as she recalled the exact moment her life changed for the worse. “I’d been asleep. I don’t know how long, but I suddenly found my dreams interrupted when I couldn’t breathe properly. I remember…oh God…I remember trying to get a breath out that just wouldn’t come. I tried and tried until my heart felt like it was going to burst with the effort. Feeling frightened, I remember opening my eyes, and seeing a shadow in the darkness towering above me. I couldn’t breathe, I just couldn’t breathe, Leon.” Even though there was nothing restricting her airways now, she felt the same symptoms of panic as she tried to relay the frightening episode.
“Shhh, slow deep breaths, baby. Hold for a few seconds then slowly release.”
She followed Leon’s prescription to the letter, and after a half minute or so of therapy, she felt able to continue. “It was then I realized that the reason I couldn’t breathe was because Nolan was in my apartment and held a hand over my nose and mouth. He then hunkered down by my side and whispered threateningly in my ear, ‘You didn’t think I’d gone away, did you, Paige?’” She shivered involuntarily. “The way he said those words, Leon, they’ll haunt me forever.” She hated doing this, fucking hated it. It brought back memories that she desperately wanted gone, but she’d come this far and she wasn’t about to quit now. Summoning up every ounce of courage in her armory, she continued, “The sick bastard then sat astride me, ruthlessly took hold of my arms, and handcuffed my wrists to the bedstead. I was so frightened, but when I tried to scream, the sound just wouldn’t come out. When something finally did, he punched me full in the face, breaking my nose, before forcing a ball gag into my mouth and securing the clasp behind my head. The blood ran down the back of my throat, and I thought I would choke.” She shook her head. “He didn’t care. I wasn’t a human being to him.”
Leon’s body stiffened beside her, and she knew his undiluted anger was rising to the surface again.
Trying to placate him, she stroked his arm and said, “What’s done is done, Leon. I suppose in a way I should feel sorry for him, because he was clearly mentally disturbed. Had to be, because no right-thinking person would act in such a way.”
He grunted indignantly. “Spare me the wishy-washy liberal crap, Paige. You don’t think that any more than I do. Extermination of vermin like him would do everyone a favor.”
She sighed out loud. “You’re right, I can never forgive him either. He then ripped my pajama top open, exposing my breasts.”
“Bastard.”
“I thought he was going to rape me then, but…”
“Did he?”
She shook her head. “No.”
“Well, I suppose that’s something.”
“Instead, he turned on the light so I could see exactly what he was doing.” She brushed a tear from her eye. “I didn’t want to see what he was about to show me, and it took a second or two for my eyes to acclimatize, but when they did, I saw that Nolan had a gleeful smile to his face. Not gleeful as in happy, you understand, but gleeful as in mad, disturbed, deranged.
“I knew from the look in his eyes that he couldn’t be reasoned with. He’d completely flipped. The blood from my nose ran down my cheeks and onto the pillow, but he didn’t care. Nolan thought it was funny. He knelt down by the side of the bed and whispered in my ear, ‘But you always liked to be handcuffed and gagged. It always turned you on in the past, Paige.’ He then shook his head and mocked, ‘You just can’t please some people.’”
“Crazy sick fucker.” Leon’s hands had clenched into fists again, and she knew if he were ever to meet Nolan, one of them would end up dead.
Paige shuddered at the thought of life without Leon. The loss would be unbearable.
“He then took hold of my face and squeezed it with his fingers and thumb. God it hurt, but I couldn’t cry out because of the ball gag he’d forced into my mouth. It stretched my jaw painfully wide.” She paused for a moment or two before saying, “I’m not a religious woman, never have been, but I prayed to God that night, because I felt sure he was gonna kill me right there and then.”
Leon held her close. “Did it help, baby?”
“I suppose it made me more accepting of my fate, but it didn’t take away the fear.”
Recalling the emotion caused a despairing sob to come from deep within her, erupting from her mouth in the form of a tortured wail, and Leon instinctively responded by enveloping her in his strong arms. “Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay, I’m right here.”
“The…the…the sick bastard then kissed my cheek before saying, ‘Hey, Paige, we’ve always been great together, haven’t we? I think you’ve just lost your way lately. But don’t worry, kitten, because I’ve come back to put you straight. Nolan’s here to look after you, and everything will be just fine as soon as you get your mind right. Look, I’ve even bought you some present
s.’ He enthusiastically rummaged through a brown paper bag like a child at Christmas. ‘What do you think Nolan’s got in here for you? A box of candy? Expensive perfume? The keys to a new Camaro? Go on, take a guess.’
“He was taunting me, because he knew I couldn’t speak. He then sighed loudly and said, ‘Not in a talkative mood, huh? Oh, well, I’ll put you out of your misery and show you anyway.’ Oh dear God, Leon, as soon as I saw what he had in the bag, sheer undiluted panic overwhelmed me, and I thrashed about as much as I could in a futile cry for help. He just stood by the side of the bed and laughed. ‘You’ll wake everyone in the apartment block. Do you want folks to think that you’re a noisy, inconsiderate neighbor? The sort of selfish bitch who stops hardworking people from getting their beauty sleep?’”
“The bag. Tell me what was in the bag.” Leon’s softly spoken words brought her back to the here and now, and realizing she was finally ridding herself of the burden of worry, her response was equally composed.
“A blowtorch and a branding iron.”
Leon immediately steepled his hands over his nose and mouth and she distinctly heard his hot, fast breath vibrating against his fingers as he struggled to come to terms with what he’d been told.
Clearly upset, he shifted on the bed and angrily demanded, “Tell me his fucking surname, Paige. Tell me where he lives. I’m gonna kill this sorry piece of pond life—right now, today.”
She was glad that they were in Italy rather than back in the States, because she knew it wasn’t an idle threat. Leon’s love for her made him vulnerable to impulsive actions that could ruin both their lives. Gently cupping his angry face in her hands, she felt the stubble rasp beneath her fingertips. “Please, I’m begging you. Please don’t do something stupid you’ll later regret. Let me tell you the rest. I’ve come this far, and after today, I’ll never talk of Nolan again. Do you understand, Leon?”
He grudgingly nodded. “But—”
“No buts, boss. I need to purge myself once and for all. Get it out of my system so I can move on with my life. Our life together.”
“Okay, baby, if that’s what you want, then I promise I won’t do anything. I promise I won’t hunt him down and exterminate him like a rabid dog.”
Paige knew from the expression on Leon’s face that he was probably already plotting Nolan’s demise. Anyway, whatever his thoughts and intentions were, she was determined to tell the rest. She hated doing it. The mere thought made her want to throw up, but for some crazy reason, she needed to cleanse herself of every last heart-wrenching detail. She needed to tell the man she loved everything, however distressing, however painful, because only then could she start to really live again.
“And then he lit it. The bastard actually lit it. I’ll never forget the distinctive noise of the seeping butane gas finally igniting as he put a match to it. Can you believe the sick fuck actually winked at me, and said, ‘Best let it warm up. Get it good and hot first.’”
Paige looked across at Leon as she spoke. His beautiful mouth, which normally showed the beginnings of a smile, was now downturned as he took in what she was saying. She knew he wanted to interrupt her and extract the whereabouts of Nolan from her, but for now he did exactly as she’d requested and listened without interruption.
“While the sadistic bastard waited for the flame to get hotter, he took great pleasure in showing me the branding iron he’d had specially made. I didn’t want to see it and closed my eyes tightly shut at first, but he repeatedly slapped my face hard, until I opened them again, forcing me to submit. I was horrified when I saw what the raised metal letters spelled out. It’s crazy, Leon. Ten minutes before I was frightened that he would kill me, but when I realized there was no escape from what he was about to do to me, I actually prayed for death. Welcomed it. I mean, what woman in their right mind would want her tits to be branded with the words Nolan’s Property?”
Leon got off the bed and started pacing the room, just as he’d done earlier. “Go on, baby, continue. I just can’t lie still for now.” The compassion she saw in his eyes dripped from his voice, too.
“Okay, that’s fine. I’m nearly done here, because I remember watching him place the branding iron in the flames, and seeing it slowly change color as it heated up. When it was hot enough, he turned to me and said, ‘Ready, kitten?’ How fucking sick is that? He then walked toward me, holding the glowing hot iron in his hands, a cruel smile etched on his face. Thankfully, my brain shut down then, because the last thing I remember was a repulsive smell of burning flesh, and the incredible heat as he closed in on me.”
There was silence for a good two minutes then as she and Leon just looked at one another, assessing each other’s responses. Well, she knew how she felt—emotionally drained, yet strangely elated. She hoped she could move on now. However, she wasn’t so certain about Leon’s state of mind, because she sensed a whole lot of anger, bubbling just beneath the surface, needing its release.
Eventually, he walked across to her and lifted her chin with the palm of his hand, tenderly supporting it. He looked deep into her eyes. “I gotta tell you something, Paige. That’s the bravest goddamn thing I’ve ever heard, and I respect and love you immensely for coming through it all.” He let his fingers drift over the wide, raised scar slashed across her chest and breasts. “And you’re still going through it, even now.”
“That’s why I insisted on the skin graft. It’s been a painful experience, both physically and emotionally, but I couldn’t bear to look in the mirror and see his disturbed handiwork on my body each morning.”
“You’re still beautiful to me, and besides, the scars are healing every day, and along with the scar revision surgery you won’t recognize yourself a year from now.” He leaned in and kissed her lips. “But you still haven’t told me what happened afterwards. I mean, how did you get free?”
She took a long deep breath and then slowly released it. One final effort, Paige, and then it’s over. “When I came round, it was light. I was in agonizing pain, and I wept uncontrollably when I looked down and saw what he’d done to me. Bastard, bastard, bastard, sick fucking bastard.” In frustration, she repeatedly banged the palms of her hands to her forehead, until Leon stopped her.
“Don’t, baby, don’t beat yourself up over something that wasn’t your fault.”
With bitter, resentful emotions never far from the surface, she continued, “I heard music playing in the other apartments, and people walking past my front door, but because of the ball gag and the handcuffs, I couldn’t make anyone hear. Even if they did, you know as well as me, Leon, that people don’t like to get involved.”
“Go on.”
“I was thirsty, but I couldn’t get to any water, and I’m ashamed to say I wet the bed, because I couldn’t get to the bathroom either.”
He wrapped his arms more tightly around her. “Oh, baby, you couldn’t help it. No one could.”
“I suppose in a way I was grateful he’d finally gone, but I was also scared he would return and torture me again.”
“So how long were you—”
“Three days.”
“Oh Jesus, no.”
She nodded. “Luckily, I’d arranged for the janitor to take a look at one of my windows. The catch had been sticking, making it difficult to secure, and Bob had promised to fix it. If he hadn’t, I think I would have died alone in my apartment, like thousands of Americans do each day. He knew my car hadn’t moved from its allocated parking space, and guessing something was wrong, he forced the door when he didn’t get a reply.”
“For saving the woman I love, I’m gonna pin a medal on this guy.”
She forced a smile. “He’d deserve it, too. I vaguely remember him entering my apartment, but by this time I was so dehydrated and delirious, I didn’t know whether it was a dream or reality. Bob saved my life that day. He was the one who called the ambulance and the cops.”
“And what happened to…” She saw from Leon’s pained expression that he didn’t want to use h
is name.
Neither did she. “The police picked him up thirty-six hours later, and he openly confessed. He didn’t even attempt to deny anything. Although I was in a living hell of my own, I felt a certain satisfaction that he’d go to prison for a very long time, but in fact, he was only in there a couple months before the psychiatric reports came through.”
“Oh, Jesus wept. Tell me it’s not those fucking liberal do-gooders in action again.”
“Afraid so. I begged the authorities not to release him, but apparently three different psychiatrists concluded that he was a paranoid schizophrenic, with a severe personality disorder. A man who needed to be helped, not punished.”
Leon shook his head. “I sometimes despair of our fucking country and its legal system.”
“I agree. He could have fooled anyone, and it seems these shrinks were no exception.”
“So where is the sick fuck now then?”
She didn’t dare tell Leon that Nolan had absconded from the maximum-security establishment some two months ago and was currently at large, and if still crazy, probably looking for her. “He’s being treated in the Coalinga State Hospital. It’s not all bad news, Leon. My injuries were considered so severe that he’s in there for the foreseeable future. Until he’s no longer deemed to be a threat to anyone. That will be sometime never, because he’s a psychopath.”
Leon grunted indignantly. “Huh, good. Although the electric chair or a lethal injection would have saved the taxpayer a shitload of money.”
* * * *
Aware that the crazy fuck was securely locked away for the rest of his natural, or should that be, very unnatural life, eased some of the anguish that Leon felt. However, the mere fact that this guy had insanely tortured the woman he loved still made him seethe with anger. He wanted revenge, and he would get it, too.
He wouldn’t let on to Paige, but now he knew where the guy was incarcerated, he’d do some digging of his own. As he settled back on the bed with her warm, naked body lying against his, he contemplated a plan of action. He was a successful and well-respected businessman who enjoyed the connections that came with it. There were people who could be called upon should a favor be needed. Powerful individuals living both here in Italy and back home in the States who could make life very unpleasant for this sicko, or, if required, extinguish his fucked-up existence completely.