She ruined me.
Or maybe she fixed me.
But it was my turn to do the fixing.
“I was fifteen the first time I got arrested,” I started, my fingers working the hem of her shirt up her torso. “I robbed a car,” I continued as the material went over her breasts. She gasped as her bare skin became exposed. I kept my eyes on hers in the mirror and brought a finger to her lips to silence her. “Just me and you here, Sunshine,” I whispered, dropping my hand and bringing the shirt over her head.
“My mother hated me, told me I was crazy and damned me to Hell every chance she got,” I said, as I restrained myself to keep my eyes on hers while I unraveled her. “When she died, I didn’t cry, I fucking rejoiced.”
I trailed my finger tip down the base of her spine, watching her eyes close and her flesh prickle with goosebumps, unsure if it resulted from my touch or my confession. I moved her hair, exposing her shoulder and leaned closer, my breath on her ear.
“I am crazy,” I whispered. “Just not the type of crazy she thought.”
I slipped my finger beneath the strap of her bra, following it down her back to where the clasp was. Her eyes fluttered open, latching onto mine as I unclasped her bra.
“I sold guns to kids, drugs to women, I robbed, cheated and killed,” I confessed, sliding the straps down her arms and freeing her breasts. Her bra dropped to the tiles and my hands snaked around her, cupping her perfect tits.
She licked her lips, never breaking eye contact as I rolled her nipple between my fingers, tugging on the tip until she moaned.
“I married Connie because we had a kid together and then we had another kid. We fought more than we ever loved,” I continued, dropping my left hand to the button on her jeans while my right hand continued to play with her swollen tits. I undid the button with ease and slipped my hand inside her pants.
“She thought I was crazy too, only she begged me to get help. Instead of getting help, I pushed her away, so far away,” I recalled, dropping my right hand to the waist band of her jeans and slowly tugging the denim down her hips.
It was killing me not to look at her body, driving me utterly insane, but I’d bare myself to her before she bared all she hid.
“I told you I had a brother. I meant I had a brother that shared the same blood as me,” I said hoarsely. I pulled her jeans down her thighs and though I bent down to pull them all the way off, I kept my eyes on her face.
“Got a problem with my head, Sunshine, and when my brother went against me, I snapped,” I hesitated as she stepped out of her jeans.
I brought my hands to her hips, hooked my fingers around the elastic and yanked her thong down her legs.
“I wasn’t paying attention,” I whispered. “I was wrapped up in my own world, my own dark world,” I continued, as I rose to my full height, stepping around her so we stood side by side. “My boy ran out of the house and into the street. He got hit by a car while I danced with the devil inside my head. I don’t remember how I regained consciousness, what made me snap back to reality but whatever it was, it came too late. I was too late. I ran outside and cradled my son in my arms, like I did when he took his first breaths—but I didn’t catch his last.”
It took everything inside me to keep my eyes focused on Reina because all I wanted to do was look away shamefully. “I should’ve gotten help sooner. My son is in the ground because I was too proud to go to a doctor, too proud to admit my truth, too proud to bare my scars,” I whispered, watching as the tears rolled down Reina’s cheeks.
“I was diagnosed as manic depressive three months after Jack Jr. died,” I revealed to the blonde beauty staring at me in the mirror, completely bare to me just as I was to her. It didn’t matter she was naked, and I was fully clothed, we were both exposed in the most vulnerable way, revealing our scars to one another.
“I’ve given you my scars, Reina. Now, I’m going to take yours,” I whispered to her reflection in the mirror. “And I want you to watch. I want you to see what I see,” I challenged, before my eyes finally scanned her body, taking in the scars that marked her skin and claiming them as mine, just as I had the rest of her.
Chapter Nineteen
I stared at myself in the mirror, white gauze wrapped tightly around my body. I lifted my arm above my head and reached across my body with my free hand and untucked the start of the gauze nestled just beneath my breast, slowly peeling it away from my skin. I fixed my eyes to my form in the mirror, tears streaming down my face, as my skin became visible, inch by ugly inch. There was no more hiding from myself, this was who I was, who I’d be, these scars would define the rest of my existence. A scream penetrates through me, vibrating off the wall of my bathroom and I recognize it as my own shrill cry as the final piece of gauze falls from my body. I didn’t remember the sensations of the flames as they ate away at my skin, nor did I remember crying out in pain as my skin caught fire but I imagine the agony of it all when I stare at my body.
Jack kneeled before me, his hands falling to my hips as he twisted me toward him. I closed my eyes, tears escaping from the seams. I felt his calloused hand travel from beneath my breast, down my side, wrapping around my hip. I’m sure his touch was gentle but he could’ve dug his nails into my flesh and it would’ve felt the same. I could only feel faint sensations along the grafted skin and most of the time I walked around with the distinct feeling of pins and needles pricking my skin.
“Eyes open, Sunshine,” he murmured.
I willed myself to do as he commanded, to give him this piece of me. To hand over the evidence of what didn’t break me—to the man who could really break me. He could tear me down and ruin me. Jack could do that to me so easily. He could erase these scars with his tenderness, but he had the power to shatter me because it would be so easy to fall in love with this broken man.
My eyes fluttered open and gazed into his.
So easy.
I swallowed the lump in my throat as he closed his palm around my hip, his fingertips gliding over the graft where two shades of skin stretched and blended into one. He bent his head, his lips moving across the skin that was a blatant testimony of how cruel fire could be. He slid his hand higher up my body, faintly grazing the keloid that snaked around my side, pressing his fingers into the skin once assaulted by flames. If the ugliness disgusted him, he hid it quite well. He stared at my scars the same way he stared at the rest of me, like I was an angel sent to chase away the devil.
His lips moved across the scar tissue, his fingers tracing the curves of where it looked like my skin had been stitched together. He peppered kisses under my breast where the skin was still an ugly shade of pink and something inside of me flickered.
The pain faded as beauty took over, the beauty of this man who tried to heal me. With every kiss, every stroke of his fingers he claimed my scars. They’d always be mine but now they were his too.
He lifted his head, his eyes meeting mine as he kept his hand over my hip.
“You see what I see, yet?” He asked softly.
I saw a man on his knees, giving me back my confidence, giving me back all the things I lost in the fire. I saw a man who lived a lot of life in only thirty-eight years. A man who was feared by many and loved by few. I saw a man that tortured himself, tortured by his thoughts and the things he had seen throughout his life. His scars weren’t visible, but they were just as deep. I saw a man I wanted to fix, a man I wanted to make whole again. A man I wanted to claim.
I saw Jack Parrish.
Not the Bulldog.
Not the Jack he let others think he was.
“You’re beautiful, Reina, so fucking beautiful,” he said hoarsely. “And these scars? They might be the most beautiful part of you,” he added, fingers moving over the discolored skin. “They are your colors, your stripes, your patch, and you should wear them proud because you survived.”
He moved to his feet, stood tall as he brushed my hair away from my face and leaned his forehe
ad against mine.
“Thank you for giving me your scars,” he whispered.
“Thank you for taking them,” I replied, my voice barely audible as I raised my hands to his jaw. I held his face, my thumb tracing over his black and white stubble, and pressed my lips to his.
He wrapped his arms around me and his palms cupped my ass, hoisting me against him, my legs wrapping around his waist as he lifted me up.
He pulled his head back and his wild eyes met mine.
“Not going to apologize for what I’m going to do to you,” he promised. “Going to fuck you senseless Sunshine, going to fuck your past away so that all you remember, all you ever feel now is me,” he seethed. “Made you mine with my words, time to make you mine with my body,” he growled.
I narrowed my eyes, ran my fingers through his hair, pulling the ends until his head snapped back a fraction and then I leaned in.
“One condition,” I whispered against his lips.
“Not up for negotiations,” he hissed, taking my lower lip between his teeth.
“You want to fuck me? You want to claim me? Then I get to claim you even if it’s just for tonight. Give me tonight, Jack and I’ll give you whatever you want from me,” I said, pulling my mouth away from his.
He didn’t answer me. Battling the war in his head he placed me on my feet. I opened my mouth to protest, but he silenced me with his finger against my pouty lips. He stared at me for a moment, eyes peering straight down to my soul before he opened the bathroom door and walked back into the bedroom.
I turned around, followed him into the bedroom and leaned against the door jamb. I wanted to take back my words as he walked toward the chair. In that instant I felt more vulnerable than standing in front of the mirror revealing my damaged body to him.
Please don’t deny me.
He lifted his cut from the chair, stared at it for a moment, running his fingers over the patch stitched into the leather declaring him president of his club. I didn’t know much about the whole motorcycle club thing and I was kicking myself in the ass for never watching Sons of Anarchy but I knew that leather vest was everything to a man like Jack. Those patches, the colors he wore on his back, they represented everything he was and everything he’d ever be.
He turned around, vest in his hands and strode toward me. I wrapped my arms around my body and stared back at him.
“Put it on,” he whispered, handing me the leather vest.
My heart beat rapidly inside my chest as I gazed up at him, taking the soft worn leather in my hands. He nodded, and I slipped my arms through the leather. I closed my eyes, the smell of his cologne lingering on the leather and seeping into me. I ran my fingers over the front of the vest, the leather like butter beneath my fingertips. It didn’t matter that the vest was too big, or that I was naked beneath it, wearing his cut made him mine and even if it was for just a short while, I’d take it.
“Fuck, Reina,” he growled, leaning back on his heels. “What are you doing to me, woman?”
I opened my eyes and stared into his tortured face and that was all I needed. To see him so vulnerable and raw turned me on, made me want him more than I ever had before.
I stepped closer, pressed my palms against his chest and pushed him until the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed. I leaned down and worked the thermal over his stomach, he lifted his arms over his head aiding in the removal of his shirt.
I gripped his broad shoulders and cocked my head to the side as I ran my hands down his chest, over all the ink that decorated his olive skin. Over his heart was the face of a little boy, his son, Jack’s biggest scar of all. I ran my fingers over the tattoo, outlining the features of the adorable child that left this earth too soon. He turned his head and let out a harsh breath, tearing my attention away from his tattoo back to his face. I brought my hand to his cheek and turned his head so he was forced to meet my gaze.
“He was beautiful,” I whispered, running my thumb over his lower lip as his eyes glistened looking into mine.
“It’s okay, Jack, he’s okay,” I whispered, bending down to press my lips to his. “Nothing can ever hurt your precious boy,” I murmured against his mouth.
I kissed him softly, felt his hands grip my face then threading desperately through my hair before he deepened the kiss. I fell onto his lap and he flipped me onto my back as his tongue pushed inside of my mouth.
He pushed himself up, his palms digging into the mattress and glanced down at me.
“No more talking, Reina, not another goddamn word,” he hissed, dropping his mouth to my neck, his teeth grazing the sensitive flesh.
I spread myself wide, hooked my fingers through the belt loops on his jeans and pulled him between my legs. Hardness pressed against all my softness as I lifted my hips to grind my body against his.
His tongue assaulted my skin between the valley of my breasts before his hot, wet mouth closed over my nipple. His teeth nipped, his tongue soothed, his lips sucked, making my breasts swell and my nipples hard. The scruff lining his jaw grazed the tender flesh surrounding my nipples, leaving my skin red and irritated. I was branded by him.
I felt his fingers slide down my stomach, his hands moving to my thighs, forcefully spreading them as wide as they allowed. His mouth stilled at my belly button and then he moved off me, pushing onto his feet. His eyes zeroing in on the part of me that was dripping with need for him, the part of me that was truly his.
With a crazed look in his eyes he kicked off his boots, unbuttoned his jeans and slid them and his boxer briefs down his legs. Naked and hard, exposed to me, Jack was everything. He wrapped his hand around his cock, pumping it with his fist and I found myself sliding my fingers over my pussy.
“Thatta’ girl, do it,” he commanded. “Fuck yourself, Reina,” he grunted.
I slid one finger into my wetness, arched my hips off the mattress, added another finger and slid them in and out of my heat, all the while keeping my eyes on Jack as he jerked his cock.
Moaning, I pressed my thumb against my clit, the bundle of nerves coming alive under the pressure.
“Look like a fucking dream on my bed, in my cut, fucking yourself—sweetest dream I’ve ever known,” he ground out.
His hand dropped from his cock and he moved between my legs, tugging my wrist, pulling my fingers out from me and up to his mouth. He wrapped his lips around my fingers and sucked them dry.
I lifted my back off the bed and knelt on the mattress, his hands gripped the leather vest to pull me against him, his mouth falling over mine. His tongue slid over mine and I could taste the subtle remnants of myself that lingered in his mouth.
I closed my hand over his cock, the throb against my palm and the need to have him deep in my mouth washed over me. Breathless and wanton, I pulled my mouth from his.
“I want to wrap my mouth around your cock,” I whispered, leaning close to him, stroking him gently.
“Want to feel you in my throat,” I begged, before taking his hands and tugging him onto the bed. He rolled onto his back and I threw my leg over his body, straddling him as he brought his hands to rest under his head.
“Go for it, Sunshine, take my cock,” he dared.
I slid down his body, brought his cock to my lips and opened my mouth. I worked him as deep as he’d go. I sucked him, feeling the throb against my tongue and the beginnings of his orgasm trickling down my throat.
He gripped my hair, pulled out of my mouth and flipped me onto my back, spreading the folds of his vest apart and cupping my tits in his hands.
I licked my lips as he nudged my legs apart. His cock pulsed, veins hardened, and the tip glistened as he moved his hand to his shaft and guided himself to my pussy.
He bent down, covered my nipple with his mouth and drove his cock into me. I gasped, wrapping my arms around his back, my nails clawing his skin as he rocked into me, hard and greedy, pushing in and slipping out.
“Not sure about much, but pretty fuckin
g sure that my cock belongs to that tight fucking pussy,” he grunted against my ear, charging into me again. I lifted my hips, skin slapped skin, sweat spreading across our bodies like a wild fire as his cock pushed so deep inside of me I thought he would tear me apart.
He brought my leg over his shoulder changing positions. His eyes dipped to where our bodies joined, forcing mine to follow. Friction built, his pace quickened and before I could control it, I was screaming his name over and over, succumbing to my orgasm.
“That’s my girl, fucking beautiful when she’s coming around my cock,” he panted, before dropping his head back and groaning. The cords in his neck straining, his eyes closed. He looked at peace as he gave me his release.
I stared up at him through my hooded eyes, feeling him throbbing inside of me, never wanting it to end.
His beautiful features contorting in ecstasy.
I did that to him.
Mine.
If only for tonight.
He straightened up, opened his eyes and glanced down at me.
“You,” he whispered.
“Me,” I confirmed, inhaling a sharp breath. I watched his neck work as he swallowed hard and stared at me in wonderment.
He dropped his weight, his body falling over mine, still joined, he wrapped his arms around me and rolled us over with the last bit of strength he had. He kissed the top of my head and I rested my hand over his heart, over his tattoo. His hand slid to my puckered flesh, squeezing gently.
In the dark night, silence fell over us. Scar to scar, soul to soul, I closed my eyes and listened to Jack’s heartbeat, a rhythm that matched my own. I fell asleep in the arms of the man who healed me.
Chapter Twenty
“Dad?”
I turned around slowly, searching for the face of an unfamiliar voice that called out to me, but found nothing but darkness.
Uncontrollable Temptations (The Tempted Series Book 3) Page 14