by Tara West
What the heck?
Then I remembered Satan pointing his wand at me and muttering “Canis Lupus” right after he’d called me a bitch. That asshole cursed me and made me a dog. That son-of-a-bitch had better change me back, or I swore I’d go Kujo on him. I let out a low growl while flexing my surprisingly large muscles. Hmmm. Did Satan’s spell come with steroids?
“Who the fuck are you?”
I spun around. Santiago was sitting at the edge of the bed aiming the cat slut’s scepter at my head as the smell of fear poured from his body. His charred stump looked horrifying, and his skin was still pale, but the resolve in his eyes told me he wasn’t going to be deterred by his injury.
“Santiago.” I held up my hands. “It’s me, Ash.”
His eyes narrowed. “I don’t know what you are, but you’re not my friend.”
“Yes, I am,” I whimpered. “Satan turned me into a dog.”
He jerked back. “What? Why?”
I let out a low growl as I lifted my leg and scratched behind my ears again. “I don’t know why, but damn my head itches.”
He just gaped at me with this deer-in-the-headlights look. “How can I be sure it’s you?”
I spun around, protruding my butt in the air while looking at him over my shoulder. “Sniff my butt. You’ll see I’m the same Ash.”
He made a face as if I’d just told him it was bath time. “I’m not going to sniff your ass.”
“Oops.” I spun back around, slapping my hands over my mouth as my tail smacked the bench. “I don’t know why I said that. It’s like my brain is part dog, too.”
Gripping the sides of the bed, he leaned forward eyeing me intently, as his tight grey undershorts stretched across his glorious man parts, his sturdy soldier giving me a good morning salute. “Tell me something only Ash would say.”
I licked my lips before jutting a finger at his groin. “You should have warned me you had such a big boner.”
His jaw dropped. “Excuse me?”
“It was calling to me like a beacon. I had to sleep on the couch.” I held up my hand, pointing to my engagement ring, which was now obscured by long, black hair. “I’m fucking engaged, Santiago.”
Santiago shuddered, giving me this look as if he’d been sucking on a sour lemon. Holy shit! Sergeant Santiago Sanchez, the soldier with the beautiful bod who’d been trying to get into my pants ever since I’d first joined the ghosting squad, was repulsed at the thought of having sex with me. In the past, his attention had always put me in an awkward position, because he was hot and I was committed to Aedan. I should have been elated that he no longer found me attractive, but I wasn’t. His rejection would have been easier to accept, if I knew his disinterest was because I’d gained an extra fifty pounds, or maybe he suddenly realized he was gay. But, no. Santiago wasn’t attracted to me because I was a fucking flea bag.
I yelped at the sound of a loud bang on the door.
“Ash?” Aedan boomed. “Are you in there?”
Even from across the room, I could hear the jealousy and suspicion in the slight crack in his voice. I knew Aedan thought I’d slept with Santiago. After I’d already surrendered to the siren, I didn’t blame Aedan for not trusting me.
But, seriously, why would Santiago want to fuck a dog?
I jumped to my feet, surprised when Aedan banged on the door again.
“Ash, let me in before I have to break the door down!”
“Oh, shit!” I clutched my throat as I turned to Santiago. “Aedan’s pissed. Please don’t tell him what I said about your boner. Wait a minute!” I whimpered as I looked down at my furry legs. “He can’t see me like this! I‘m covered in hair and I have dog breath! Tell him I ate gluten, and I’m stuck on the toilet.”
“Okay, you’re Ash.” Santiago threw up his hands. “Look, we’re trapped at the bottom of hell, and I’m missing a leg. Your dog breath is the least of our problems.”
“I’m sorry, Santiago.” I hung my head, whimpering, when I realized what a jerk I’d been. I might have been a dog, but at least I wasn’t a three-legged dog. Santiago’s leg was gone, and he didn’t even have a crutch or an artificial limb. How was he supposed to get around hell like that?
“Go get the door,” he commanded rather impatiently like he was my ghosting sergeant again.
“Open the damned door, Ash!” Aedan hollered.
My shoulders sagged and my tail drooped as I shuffled my big, ugly legs across the room. I rested my forehead on the door, whimpering. “Aedan, before I open, there’s something you should know.”
“Did you two have sex?” His angry baritone rattled the door. “So help me, I’ll knock his teeth in.”
“No. We didn’t have sex,” I groaned. “The Devil cursed me.”
“What do you mean, he cursed you? Ash, open the door before I bang it down!”
I scowled down at my furry hand as I gripped the handle and unbolted the door. I swung it open and then stepped back into the shadows. Sure, Aedan had breathed in my rancid morning breath and seen my raccoon eyes and tousled hair before, but to see me covered in hair with a protruding snout was a different kind of ugly, and I couldn’t help but feel ashamed.
The look of horror in Aedan’s eyes would have been comical had I not been the object of his repulsion. “What the Devil?”
My gaze shot to his as heat pricked my skin. “I’m Jack, Aedan. He turned me into a black Lab.”
His bright eyes darkened as his tanned skin flushed several shades of red. “That son-of-a-bitch. He will pay for this.”
“You will do nothing!” I stomped a paw as fear tied my stomach in knots. “Do you want to be thrown outside? I’m better off than Santiago.” I waved a hand at my friend, his bloody stump hanging off the edge of the bed, a look of agony in his eyes. “He’s missing a leg.”
Horny Hitler tugged Aedan’s tunic. “Come. Master waits for you to break fast.”
I sensed the rage that simmered beneath Aedan’s hooded eyes as he balled his fists. “Back off, you little freak.”
When Aedan kicked Hitler in the gut, the primate squealed as he flew out the door. But then the evil dictator grabbed the door frame, his long nails shredding the wood. Aedan slammed the door, heedless of the monkey’s tail and fingers.
The demon’s broken tail flapped against the door as he howled.
“Aedan.” I covered my ears with my hands and turned pleading eyes on my fiancé. “He’s stuck.” Sure, the bastard deserved to get far worse than a broken tail, but his high-pitched squeals were killing my eardrums.
Aedan snarled. “Serves him right.”
The door rattled, and much to my relief, the twitching tail disappeared, but I knew that wasn’t the last we’d hear from Hitler. He was probably dreaming up some sort of Nazi torture for the two of us.
I followed Aedan into the bedroom, keeping a few paces behind and hoping he wouldn’t stare at my ugly face. His thighs certainly looked nice and thick in those tights. Really nice. I knew his round ass would have looked just as yummy hadn’t it been for that stupid tunic.
“Good God, man. You’re a mess.” Aedan knelt beside Santiago, examining his stump.
I mentally chided myself for letting a string of drool hang from my bottom lip while Aedan was bent over. Yep. I was right. His ass looked delicious, but now was not the time to go into heat. Too bad, because just looking at that ass made me want to hump the stuffing out of him.
Santiago hissed as Aedan ran a hand over the end of his stump. “Easy.”
I had to admire Santiago. If it had been me with the missing leg, I would have been writhing all over the bed in sheer agony. Shoot. I had a more dramatic reaction when I stubbed a toe. How did this guy keep it together?
Aedan stood, frowning down at Santiago. “What happened?”
Santiago leaned back with a groan. “I’d like to ask the same of you guys.”
“We were on our way to the wedding,” Aedan said as his mouth set in a grim line, “and demonling spiders
chased us off the elevator.”
Santiago gave Aedan a look of understanding. “Same thing happened to us. The spiders have overrun the pyramid.”
Aedan stiffened, fear reflecting in his wide eyes. “Where are the others?”
“We’d sent Mar, Boner, and Inés up top to stop you and your family from coming.” Santiago’s hands shook as he gripped the sheets. “Your brother and the priestesses are in the dungeon.”
All time seemed to stand still as I held my breath, waiting for Aedan’s reaction. Aedan’s body turned as hard as granite, and I could have sworn I saw a flash of red in his eyes. “He put my brother in a dungeon.”
Santiago sat up, running hands down his thighs. “Cam knows we’re here. He will send for reinforcements.”
“But time passes slower down here,” Aedan said, giving us each long deliberate looks. “It could be months or years before anyone saves us.”
I whimpered, averting my gaze and not at all liking the way my fiancé was staring at me, as if he was repulsed by the idea of being engaged to a she-beast for months.
“Then we must save ourselves,” Santiago answered.
“How?” I asked. I didn’t want to sound like a doggie downer, but last I checked, elevators didn’t make regular stops down here, and the only exit led to the flaming pit of doom.
Aedan’s brow drew together as he rubbed the stubble on his chin. He was so sexy when he was thinking. At that moment, I had the urge to lick him all over. The only thing holding me back, was I knew Aedan would be repulsed by my dog breath. I breathed into my palm and cringed. Why did my breath have to smell like dirty butthole? It’s not like I licked my butt. At least I hope I didn’t. I was pretty out of it last night. No telling what dogs did in their sleep.
“I don’t know,” Aedan finally answered. “But we will have to think of a way.” He frowned at Santiago’s severed leg. “We need to fashion you a leg. What’s this?” Aedan picked up the poker stick that had been leaning against the wall. Its glow had faded to a dull throb, the white light inside the ball at the end of the scepter having been reduced to a pin prick.
“It’s the cat bitch’s poker stick,” I growled, snapping at the object in Aedan’s hand. Just looking at that stick made me angry as I recalled my feline foe trying to hit me with it.
Aedan jerked back, giving me a wary look. “Easy, Ash.”
When he held out a staying hand, I whimpered, obediently sitting on the bed beside Santiago.
Aedan turned over the object in his hand, his eyes bulging when he ran his thumb over a switch on the bottom. “It reminds me of my scythe.” He hit a button, and it contracted to the size of a cell phone. He hit another and it extended again.
I jerked back and barked when the light flickered and brightened. “Whoa.”
Santiago scooted away from Aedan. “I don’t want to walk around on that.”
Aedan flashed a devious grin. “You can use your leg as a weapon.”
I turned to my friend, reaching for him, but thought better of it. He wouldn’t want me touching him. My hairy hand grossed me out. I didn’t expect Santiago’s reaction to be any better. “You’ve got to use something, Santiago.”
Aedan picked up a chair beside the bed, and I yelped when he slammed it against the wall. A leg splintered off and Aedan burned it down to a smooth stick with the flaming poker before holding it out to Santiago. “How’s this?”
When Aedan waved that stick around, I jumped up, barking, mesmerized by the object. Oh, boy! Was he going to throw it? I really wanted him to throw it. How much fun we could have if he threw it and I brought it back to him. We could make a game of it, and then he’d reward me with something to chew on or maybe sex! “Throw it, Aedan,” I growled. “Please, please throw it!”
“Ash, this is Sarge’s leg.” There was no masking the derision in my fiancé’s voice as he scowled at me.
Oh, shit. What was wrong with me? Duh. I knew that. I hung my head, looking at him from beneath my lashes. “Oh, yeah. Sorry.”
“We need to hide this,” Aedan said as he turned off the light on the poker and it contracted to fit in his palm. “It could come in handy later.” He climbed up Santiago’s bed, laying the poker on the canopy.
Then he tore up one of bed sheets, twisting it around Santiago’s stump and attaching it to the stick.
I jumped on all fours, growling when the door rattled with a thunderous bang. I knew by the grunting sounds from the other side, that it was a huge bull creature. His cow dung stench wafted from beneath the door.
Aedan swore. “The monkey brought a Taurus.” He held a hand down to Santiago. “Do you think you can walk?”
Santiago grimaced. “I’ll give it a try.”
When Aedan helped him up, the lines around Santiago’s eyes deepened as he sucked in a sharp breath. He slowly let out a hiss of air as Aedan helped him walk toward the door.
“How is it?” Aedan asked.
“It hurts like hell,” Santiago said through a wheeze. “But it will have to do.”
* * *
I trailed behind Aedan and Sarge, my tail hanging between my legs, as the bull-man lead the way. My stomach rumbled as the smell of roasting meat wafted into the hall, reminding me that I didn’t eat dinner last night. I licked a string of drool that hung from my lip before reminding myself that the food probably wasn’t appetizing. I stared at the Bull-man’s broad shoulders, wondering what a piece of his backstrap would taste like, roasted with some seasoning and barbeque sauce. Heck, I’d even settle for raw.
I shook my head, mentally chiding myself. What was wrong with me that I’d consider eating a half-man? Sheesh! Were canines always this voracious? Then I recalled the time Jack had raided my garbage can and eaten my sister’s used tampons. Yuck! I sure hoped I didn’t do anything gross while I was in canine form, and I made a mental note: no eating anything the Devil had to offer, no licking up shit off the floor, and certainly no butt munching!
The Devil’s eyes gleamed with mischief when he saw us approaching, his gaze traveling the length of my body before resting on my four exposed nipples. He smirked when our eyes met. I had to clench my paws, wanting so badly to pounce on him and scratch his eyes out, but I knew he’d probably point that scepter at me and turn me into something worse or else throw me outside.
I growled under my breath as we neared him, and I vowed to find some way to get him back. Whether it would be taking a shit in his slippers, peeing on his bedsheets, or taking a bite out of his crotch, I would not rest until I found a way.
He clasped his hands together, flashing a wicked smile. “Why Ashley, your new look is quite becoming for a whiny bitch, don’t you agree?”
Aedan pulled back his fist and jutted forward. “You bast—!”
I jumped in front of him, whimpering as I held out my paws. “Aedan, please. It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not,” Aedan hollered over my shoulder. “Change her back.”
I cringed when I spun around. Satan was pointing his evil wand at us, and he was flanked by four burly guards.
He tossed back his head, laughing. “Change her back? And ruin all my fun?” He shook his head before staring at Sarge. “How nice that your friend could join us for morning repast. I didn’t think you’d be able to leave your room with your eh, injury.”
“Where are our friends?” Santiago demanded.
The Devil gave him a pointed look. “You know where they are. In the dungeon where they belong, and they are very lucky I haven’t thrown them outside.”
“I’d like to see them.” Sarge’s command sounded too much like a plea. I remembered how much he’d liked that priestess named Melanie, and I knew his heart was aching for her.
The Devil arched a brow as he rubbed his pointed beard. “You would, would you? Request denied,” he said with a flippant laugh. “Not sorry.”
Sarge’s jaw hardened, but he didn’t lose his cool like Aedan. “Are they being tortured?”
“They are being treated as the d
amned should be treated.” His voice was laced with annoyance. ‘Now go sit at the lower tables, and take your dog with you.” He waved us away as if our presence offended him before giving me a final sneer.
Sheesh. If he was so offended by my fur, he shouldn’t have turned me into a dog.
Anger radiated off Aedan’s body in strong currents as he fixed Satan with a glare.
“Come on, Aedan,” I begged, tugging on his sleeve. “Please.”
Aedan kept his gaze tunneled on the Devil as Sarge and I steered him through the crowd. The hall looked very much like the gloomy medieval castle from last night. I didn’t know who Satan used for an interior decorator, but the place sure could use some sprucing up. Other than the tall windows that flanked the room, displaying playful bunnies in a verdant field, this place would have looked like a tomb. Having already seen the outside, I knew the bunnies were an illusion, but I’d rather look at them than the melting wax people who were no doubt still standing by the window and begging to be let inside.
We found a clear spot at the end of a long table. Aedan sat beside me and Sarge took the seat across from us. I was relieved to have been sitting with Aedan. My last dining companion didn’t exactly make for good company. I scratched an itch behind my ear as a fire eater that looked part bear danced past us, sticking a torch down his throat and then belching flame. I picked a bug out of my fur, discreetly squishing it under the table while it squirmed between my fingertips. What the heck? Was that a flea?
A rabbit guy with a jester hat who sat diagonal from me whispered into the ear of a donkey man, making the creature “hee haw” blood wine through his nose. I wondered if they’d been laughing at me. I scratched behind my ear again, repressing a yelp when I felt a pinch. The damn fleas were fighting back. They were probably pissed at me for killing their cousin.
A trio of musicians danced by, playing weird pipes and guitars, and I pretended to be interested in them while picking another bug out of my fur. This was so degrading. I could think of plenty of bad habits, like pretending to itch my nose while flicking a crustie or leaning to the side and coughing while trying to mask the sound of a fart. But picking fleas out of my fur and squishing them under the table? Just when I thought I couldn’t sink any lower than the bottom dimension in hell.