“Where are you now?” She decided that the seriousness of his action called for a face-to-face confrontation, not a telephone call.
“On my way home. I’m driving through Waukegan, I think.”
That was too far for her to travel; he was already halfway to Cook County. “All right. Monday I’m coming down. Can you meet me? We need to have a talk.”
“Just tell me where.”
Over the weekend Susan arranged for a sitter. She drove to the station and boarded a southbound train. After a scenic ride that lasted nearly an hour and a half, she arrived at the Ogilvie Transportation Center. She easily found the restaurant where Charles had suggested they meet. The lunch rush hadn’t started yet, and she had an attentive waiter.
Charles rushed in after just under ten minutes. “Sorry,” he said. “Metra’s running a little behind schedule.”
“That’s all right. They haven’t started looking at me funny yet.”
They placed their orders, and then he said, “I know you’re angry at me for what I did Friday.”
She sighed. “I’ve gotten over it. I know you won’t do it again. But Charles, you have to be patient. Things can’t move as fast as you want them to.”
“I’m not some stranger you just met, Susan. I wanted to marry you years ago, but you said no because of Douglas and my mother.”
“That’s another problem,” she muttered.
“That’s my point. There don’t have to be any problems. Don’t make everything more complicated than it has to be.”
“You know I’m trying to get things in place, Charles. You know I start working part-time next week. I’d rather get in at the school board because they pay better, but they said they wouldn’t consider me if I only want to work part-time.”
“Why don’t you work full-time, then?”
“Because Bruce will never go for it. Alyssa is just going into third grade. Even though I feel she’s too young not to have me at home after school, I do not want to put all that responsibility on Quentin. Someone could knock on the door pretending to be the mailman. Quentin might open it. . . .” She raised her chin defiantly. “I won’t put my children in that position.”
“I wouldn’t want you to,” he said. “But are you actually telling me that Bruce will refuse you alimony so you can stay at home?”
“Alimony will end the moment I remarry.”
“I want to marry you. I’ve told you that a half dozen times. I don’t expect Bruce to support you forever. That’s supposed to be my job. This is just for an interim period.”
“Trust me, the minute he finds out about you he’ll fight for custody of the kids. I don’t want that to happen, either.”
She watched his expression harden just as if someone had slid a veil over his face and magically turned him into stone.
“So, more hiding?” he asked with narrowed eyes. “Tell me, Susan, do you ever anticipate being able to walk down the street holding my hand? Or do you intend to keep me hidden away forever, like a crazy uncle in the attic?”
“What I’m trying to do,” she hissed, “is come up with a way that will allow me to keep my children and be with you openly. And maintain my health insurance, since once I’m divorced, Bruce can’t legally cover me. I’ve got a health issue, in case you’ve forgotten.”
“Of course I haven’t forgotten. But there’s COBRA.”
“COBRA is expensive. Besides, you can’t keep it indefinitely. The only way I can be covered is if I’ve got a job. I don’t know how I can get that to work out, Charles. I wish you’d help me come up with some ideas instead of giving me a hard time.”
“Susan, if you marry me I’ll put you on my insurance. We can get married as soon as you’re free, the day after, if we can arrange it that fast. You won’t be without coverage at any time. I really think you’re making too much of this. Divorce Bruce, marry me. If you want to work part-time so you can be there when your kids get home from school you can do it.” He looked at her through eyes that suddenly had gone suspicious. “I’m wondering if there’s something you’re not telling me.”
She sighed, not wanting to say anything that would hurt his feelings. “I have to consider my kids’ feelings, Charles. You haven’t even met them yet.”
“Under the circumstances that would be a little awkward, don’t you think?”
“Of course it would. That’s why I was so upset when I thought Quentin had seen you. The divorce is going to come as a huge shock to them. They might not cotton so well to seeing me with a new partner.”
“We’ll work it out. Maybe you haven’t noticed, but I can be pretty charming when I want to.”
She wished he would give the situation the serious consideration it merited. “It might not be as simple as you expect. Then there’s the economics. It’s going to be a hard adjustment for them. You’ve seen the house they live in now. They don’t want for anything. That wonderful lifestyle they enjoy is provided by Bruce, who’s a millionaire several times over. You and I won’t be able to afford to keep them in that fashion. Trust me, that’s the first thing Bruce will pounce on when he finds out I’m seeing you.”
He nodded thoughtfully, then looked at her with a cautious expression she’d never seen on him before. “Are you sure it’s only the kids’ adjustment you’re concerned about, Susan?”
She didn’t know where he was headed, but she didn’t like it. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Exactly what it sounds like,” he snapped. “How do you feel about living a middle-class lifestyle after being married to a millionaire?”
She glared at him, knowing he wouldn’t have asked this question if he hadn’t insisted on coming to pick her up that time she had the flat tire. But because he’d seen her house, he had doubts. “You know better than to ask me that, Charles, after all I’ve been through.”
“It’s a valid question.”
“I grew up in the Theodore Dreiser Projects, just like you did. And if there’s one thing I’ve learned in my life, it’s that I’d rather be happy and middle class than wealthy and undesired.” Her eyes dampened with tears. She was trying so hard. How could he say such a cruel thing to her?
“Susan, you’re being hesitant. What other conclusion can I come to, other than you don’t want to leave that lifestyle Bruce provides for you?”
Her fury strengthened like a hurricane. Only their public setting kept her from screaming at him. “How dare you say that to me. The first time we met to talk, you told me I’d never been a shallow person. But now you accuse me of staying in an empty marriage just because I like living in a large house and being a stay-at-home mother. It’s like you didn’t hear a word I said when I told you how unhappy I was, or how I’m trying to get back into the workforce so I can support myself and my children.”
“Susan.” He looked like he was ready to apologize, but she wasn’t having it.
“Your answer to everything is that we’ll work it out, that everything’s so simple. But you’ve never once explained where we’ll live or what will happen if my remission ends. You have a one-bedroom apartment, and your job’s insurance company might not take kindly to your marrying a cancer patient. For all I know, you’re expecting my children to move into your apartment and sleep on the kitchen table and in the bathtub. So don’t sit there and tell me that money doesn’t count, or accuse me of being overly concerned about it. Bruce pays for everything for the kids and me, and I don’t work at all. If I get sick I wouldn’t have to go to some crummy hospital on the verge of losing its accreditation. Will you be able to do all that on a teacher’s salary?”
Charles slid back his chair abruptly. “I see this wasn’t such a good idea. Tell the waiter I changed my mind.”
“That makes two of us,” she said, waving her hand. “But you go first.”
She sat there, seething, long enough to wait for the waiter to return and tell him that they wouldn’t be staying. Then she went to the ladies’ room, forced herself to calm down, and headed for
the train station and home.
Chapter 46
Late August
Chicago
“Oh, it’s good to be home again,” Grace said as she did a full-body stretch. “I can’t remember the last time I walked on the weekends.”
“Believe it or not, I’ve been walking while you were away,” Pat said.
“I believe it. You look good. Your chest even looks like it’s gone down a little. You’d better be careful with that. Andy might not like it.”
“I haven’t seen Andy since I’ve been back.”
Grace’s head jerked. “You haven’t seen him? But what happened?”
“I’ll tell you about it while we’re walking. Let’s go.”
Grace quickly tied her shoelace. She stuck a twenty in the pocket of her shorts and grabbed her keys and sun visor. “All right, I’m ready.”
They’d barely gotten to the sidewalk when Pat began. “I guess I should have told you about it sooner, but I didn’t want to talk about it. Everything was going so well, and I was fool enough to think it could last. I should have known better. My relationships never last.”
“Pat, what the hell happened?”
“The Saturday before we left. He had me come over and meet his daughters.”
Grace drew in her breath. “Don’t tell me that they—”
“No, they were fine. One of them even asked for advice about a black kid at school she’s got a crush on. The problem was that Andy brought us to dinner at Nirvana.”
“So what? I would have been tickled if I had a chance to show off my new boyfriend to my old one, even years later. Ricky didn’t have any problem bringing that wife of his to the Soul Queen, did he?”
“That’s not the point, Grace. I’m not into all that kid stuff, showing off. Anyway, Ricky was there. He was stopping by the diners’ tables to chat, and when he saw me with Andy and Andy’s daughters he looked like he’d seen Martians sitting there.”
“He doesn’t know your dating habits, Pat. It had to come as a shock to him, because of your father putting his foot down.”
“I know that. But the whole situation made me uncomfortable. Andy commented on it afterward. He said I showed too much nervousness for Ricky to be someone who meant nothing to me.”
Grace groaned. She’d always felt that Pat still harbored feelings for Ricky. “And I’ll bet you denied it.”
“Of course I denied it. Ricky and I ended a long time ago, Grace.”
“And you’ve never gotten over it. Don’t deny it, Pat. You might not admit it to yourself, but it shows.”
“Shows how?”
Grace didn’t have to think for long. “There was that time a couple of months ago when you met that girl Stephanie at the pub. She mentioned that she and I had eaten dinner at Nirvana, and you pounced on me like a mouse on a hunk of cheese, asking me if Ricky had been there, and if he’d asked about you, even though I’d already said that it happened years ago. You know that he’s remarried now and that it couldn’t possibly make any difference, but still you insisted upon knowing every detail. Details I couldn’t even remember.”
“I was just curious. What’s wrong with that?”
“I’ll tell you what’s wrong with it, Pat. I didn’t see it as curiosity; I saw it as a woman who hasn’t been able to move on, even after thirty years. I’m sure Andy saw your reaction the same way. Maybe instead of denying it to Andy you should have admitted you still have a soft spot for him. You could have told him that you were just caught off guard at seeing your old boyfriend and you felt a little weird. He could live with that if you assured him he’s the only man in your life. Having Ricky come between the most promising relationship you’ve had in years would be a real shame.”
“I think it’s too late for that. He’s the one who dismissed us when we got back to his house after dinner. He said something along the lines of it being just as well I was going away for nearly two weeks. In other words, he wanted to make the break more gradual.”
“But you’ve been back nearly a month. You haven’t heard from him?”
“No. And I’m not calling him, either.”
“Pat, you sound like a little kid. You were wrong, and if you admit it, you might still be able to salvage your relationship.”
“It’s too late, Grace.”
Grace sighed. Pat looked so resigned. This was silly. Did she really think she’d be able to meet another man like Andy just like that? He might well be her last chance. Grace wished she could talk Pat into reversing her decision not to contact Andy and admit that she hadn’t been truthful about her feelings for him, that she had realized how asinine it was.
Suddenly a way to accomplish this occurred to Grace, but she wasn’t sure it would be the right thing to do. It involved confessing something she never wanted Pat to know, and she didn’t know if she was really willing to live with the consequences.
She decided to think on it while they walked. It wasn’t the type of thing she could discuss with Pat while they were on the street, anyway.
By the time they wrapped up their three-mile walk and were back at Grace’s condo, Grace had decided to go for it. If she didn’t speak up, Pat and Andy might not ever get back together. She’d become convinced that the two of them belonged together. Pat had never looked as happy as she had since she started dating him. Maybe it wasn’t meant for them to grow old together, but Pat simply couldn’t afford to walk away from a perfectly good man just out of stubbornness and denial.
Grace knew that coming clean might mean the end of her friendship with Pat. She hoped her confession would help Pat see how foolish she’d been where Ricky was concerned. Surely trying to get Pat back with Andy was the right thing to do.
Pat sat on the edge of an upholstered chair, mindful of her sweaty body. She sipped the last of the raspberry smoothie they stopped to get in the home stretch. “That hit the spot.”
“Yeah, it felt good to walk again.”
“So what are you doing the rest of the day? I guess you’re going out with Eric.”
“No.” Grace decided to share her news. “I broke up with him.”
“You didn’t! When did this happen?”
“Between the time I got home from the cruise and my trip to São Paolo, I called to tell him I couldn’t see him because I had to travel for work. He accused me of making everything up just to try to get rid of him.”
“But that was a serious situation your company had down there.”
“Of course it was. But Eric doesn’t understand about things like that, Pat. We had some words about it, and the next day I decided to break it off. I wanted to do it in person, but after I got back I didn’t see the point, so I called him and told him.”
“How’d he take it?”
“Not well,” Grace admitted. “He said he should have known that, and I quote, ‘a rich bitch like me would get tired of him,’ and he said that the next time I’m horny I’d better use my fingers before I call him again.”
Pat made a face. “That was low-down, but it’s what I’d expect from him.”
“It convinced me I’d done the right thing. He was becoming really frustrated with my job, making nasty comments all over the place, things like that.” She didn’t tell Pat that Eric had begun to give her physical pain during sex, like he was punishing her for being successful. “But back to you and Andy and Ricky . . .”
Pat sighed. “I thought we finished talking about that.”
“Pat, I’ve got to tell you something. I’m pretty sure you’re going to be angry at me, but it’s one of those for-your-own-good things.”
Pat smiled. “Why do I suddenly feel like I’m ten years old again, and my mother is about to teach me a lesson?”
“Seriously, Pat. It has to do with Ricky.” Pat’s expression changed immediately, as Grace had known it would. “After Stephanie and I had dinner at Nirvana, he called me. He was in the midst of a divorce, and I was already divorced.”
“Wait a minute, Grace. You said before th
at you were still married to Danny when you went to Nirvana.”
Grace cursed under her breath. She’d forgotten about that. She just needed to put a stop to all these lies. It all happened such a long time ago. Surely it couldn’t matter now. And if it did . . . Well, she’d have to learn to live with it.
“No, I was divorced,” she said. “I remember, because I’d just moved into my condo. I gave him my card at the restaurant. We got together one night, and one thing led to another—”
Pat jumped to her feet. “My God, you had an affair! With Ricky? My Ricky?”
Grace forced her breathing to remain even. She had to struggle, for Pat had suddenly gone as green as the Chicago River on St. Patrick’s Day.
“You had an affair,” Pat repeated in an accusatory tone, “even though you knew how I felt about him.”
“Pat, this happened a long time ago, but even then it had been more than twenty years since you and Ricky broke up. You’d made no move to get back together with him. The man was hurting, and so was I.”
“You could have told me about it. If I’d known he was hurting, I would have gone to him. But you didn’t, and I know why. The minute he told you he was getting divorced you decided you wanted him for yourself.” Pat shook her head. “Just like you and Douglas Valentine when he was in the NBA, after Susan dumped him. You knew he’d been her boyfriend, her first love, but you went after him anyway, just because you saw dollar signs.”
Grace drew in her breath. “Who told you that?”
“Never mind who told me. I just know that if he’d been interested, you would have unloaded poor Jimmy like last year’s capri pants, even though he and Douglas were friends. Why be poor and live on the South Side of Chicago when you could be living in luxury with an NBA player?”
“I’m not going there, Pat. This is about you and Andy. I hoped that my telling you this would make you realize how silly it is to hang on to something you lost a long time ago. Ricky has been married twice. He’s moved on, and you’re getting all tongue-tied, concerned because he might get the wrong impression from you showing up at Nirvana with your date. If that isn’t pining for somebody, I don’t know what is. No wonder Andy’s feelings were hurt. Now, there’s a man who truly cares about you, Pat. Letting him go would be a mistake.”
Once Upon a Project Page 26