And when Zander carried them to Darkwell Pass, she saw how grateful Jax was that she’d stayed with him, cuddling him and holding his hand. How her refusing to leave—kept him from falling into the darkness.
The depths of his love, even back then, surprised her. She never had a clue. Then the memories shot ahead to him watching her as they got older. His reaction as her breasts started to develop, and how he dreamed about her, his hard-on every time he went anywhere near her. Embarrassed and feeling unworthy, he fought his growing attraction and feelings.
Her smile always set his pulse racing and he showed her how he ached to touch her, pull her against him. How he longed to run his hands through her silky hair. He showed her what her touch did to him, and why he began to avoid it. How hard he had to struggle to keep control around her.
He loved and respected her dad, but feared Zander wouldn’t like him being with her. She saw his messed up mind the night they went to Jezzarays. The impact her tight dress had on him, and his jealousy over her dancing with other men. Then how the dance they shared, filled him with hope and happiness. Until she went to the bathroom, and Serena whispered in his ear, making him believe she was Tierney. He showed her how much he hated himself over what happened later. He’d never wanted to hurt her, and felt like dying when she drove away.
She felt how grateful he was that she came back to help him through the Awakening, as well as how scared he was to lose control of his dragon, and the darkness inside him. How just being around her soothed his soul.
Then she heard the call with Marcius, who said horrible things that he tried not to listen to. But with his harsh opinion of himself reinforced, Jax realized he’d never be good enough for anyone, never mind her. He was dirty. Damaged. Ruined.
She cried as he agreed to give himself up to protect her, and get Zander back because he loved her. He couldn’t bear the idea of the Ilyium getting a hold of her, and he knew how much she needed her dad.
Tierney stopped him. “Jax, baby, I love you so much, but if you ever do anything like that again, I will kick your ass,” she said as waves of liquid pleasure consumed her.
Luminous eyes stared at her, and Tierney’s heart melted. “My turn.” She caressed the side of his neck where a small purple dragon eye rested as if asleep. Then she showed him how much he meant to her. How she loved him at five years old, all the way up to this very moment. She let him see all the special moments from their past.
How she’d ached to touch him—run her fingers through his hair, over his arms. The need to hold him close and never let go. She showed him through her eyes how beautiful and wonderful he was, and how sad it made her when he didn’t believe it. She showed him her hurt when he grew distant—how her heart broke when he was upset or hurt. Then she showed him how terrified and panicked she became when he died, and how she couldn’t live without him.
Tierney leaned forward and covered his lips as she rode him, fast and hard. Moments later they both climaxed and experienced the aftermath of their passion through their connection, leaving them hyper-sensitive and breathless. Looking into Jax’s eyes, she smiled and cuddled on top of him.
Still buried inside her, Jax held her close as their hearts beat as one. “I love you with my whole heart and soul, Jax. Thank you for what you showed me.”
“I love you too, Tiern. I’m sorry I put you through so much.” But his mood turned melancholy and he averted his gaze.
“Babe?” She trailed her fingers over the stubble on his jaw, up to his face and around to his neck. She played with the soft wisps of hair at his nape as she caressed and soothed him. “Shh, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here for you.”
“That’s what you said to me when I was eleven, and Marcius brought us back.” He whispered, then slipped out of her. Tierney snuggled into his side while he pulled the blankets over them. “I, didn’t show you everything,” he said.
Tierney could feel his heart pounding with fear. “I know, love. You tell me when you’re ready and if you never are, I’ll understand. I will love you no matter what.”
“I never told anyone before, but, this darkness inside of me. This rage is like a separate entity,” he said.
Tierney ran her fingers through his hair as she remembered the dark cloud she’d waded through to get to him over a week ago.
Jax swallowed. “I know I probably need to talk about what happened to me, but I don’t know if I can.”
She leaned up, gave him a gentle kiss, and ran her fingers down the side of his face. “That is perfectly okay. You don’t have to if you don’t want, but if or when you do, I’m here. Always.”
Twin pools full of tortured emotion met her gaze. “I—” He lowered his eyes nervously. “Maybe … I can show you.”
Her heart clenched as she felt his worry that she’d run from what she saw. “Okay, love.”
The tears she held back welled up, as he showed her memories of the two perverted men Marcius sold him to. Sami screamed as they dragged Jax away, and she felt Jax’s fear that he’d never see his brother again. But what terrified him even more was the thought of Marcius hurting Sami and him not being there to stop it.
The men took him to their home in the country and what ensued, tore her heart to shreds. She shuddered and rage engulfed her. She wanted to kill them for how they’d hurt such a precious ten-year-old boy.
Then Jax took her to the place in his mind where he escaped to, a place with fluffy white clouds that she recognized immediately. He’d snuggle in her arms while she held him, soothed him and told him things would get better.
Guilt filled her. “Gods, I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you, sweetie.”
“But you were there—in my mind, anyway.”
Yeah, she was. And now, because he needed her, she forced her anger into a deep dark corner to await the time she might ever come across the two bastards. Inside, she cried and raged for him. No wonder he reacted the way he had when they’d found Thaniel.
He remembered Little Toni carrying him away, and later waking in the back of Marcius’ car. His father ranted at him the whole way, telling him he was used goods—dirty. That no one would ever want him. No one could ever love him, and everyone would be disgusted if they discovered his dirty little secret.
When he next woke up, that long-ago day, he found Tierney beside him and cringed before realizing who she was. He thought he’d never see her again. Finally, convinced she was real, he threw himself into her arms and she held him, soothing him. She told him she loved him and wasn’t going anywhere.
Tears streamed down Tierney’s face at the horror he’d been through while Jax stayed silent, not saying a word. The shame he still lived with filled her, making her want to choke. Showing her his memories sucked him back into them. Suddenly lost to the horrors, he feared she’d be disgusted with him.
“My love.” His closed expression tore her apart as she cupped the side of his face. “No, sweetheart. You’re wrong, you don’t disgust me. Never—ever,” she said, but he wouldn’t meet her eyes.
“How can I not? I disgust me.”
“No, baby.” She gazed at him, caressing his face. “To me, you are beautiful.”
Jax trembled and she pulled him close. “You are the strong, sexy male I love. You are my best friend. My heart. The other half of my soul. Do you realize you called to me? To my soul back then? Even then, I was connected to you. That’s when I realized we were soulmates.” His skeptical glance tore at her. “I really was there with you baby. After you came back, you were so traumatized I never brought it up, and later I forgot, until the night of your awakening.”
She ached at what he’d lived through, and the guilt of being unable to help tore at her. “Gods, Jax. Nothing will stop me from loving you. If anything, I am in awe that you survived what you did.” She soothingly trailed her fingers over him. It took her a moment to realize his scars were gone. He must have healed during sex. “Love, I’m so sorry for how they hurt you. I sensed it was bad
, but I didn’t have any idea.”
He stayed quiet, and his soul-deep hurt pierced her.
“You know, your strength amazes me. Even though I’ve fought you trying to protect me, I’ve always admired how protective you are of those you care about,” she said and waited while his gaze slowly met hers with uncertainty. Tierney smiled and began to kiss and touch him everywhere. “You are beautiful and—” She grinned up at him and licked her lips. “Very sexy. I love every inch of you.”
He tensed up as she explored his body.
She admired his dragon with glowing eyes. “To me, you are perfect. Amazing, and hot as hell.”
She continued to talk, though she knew showing him would mean more. Something she was willing to spend the rest of her life doing. “My sweet Jax. You, my love, are the other part of my heart and always have been.” His scales made her fingers and lips tingle as she trailed kisses over him.
Jax shivered, and not from fear this time.
Tierney met his darkened eyes, filled with passion once again. “Never doubt what you mean to me.”
He nodded, eyes beginning to glow. “Thank you.”
“Love, if I could, I’d make Marcius and those sick fucks pay.”
Jax swallowed. “Me too. I always thought if I knew why … if I was stronger, or—”
How could he blame himself? Anger enveloped Tierney. “Love, you were ten years old. You couldn’t have stopped them, and none—none—of this is your fault.”
“But—”
“No buts. You were ten.” She swore as tears trickled down her big, tough, sweet man’s face. “I’m here, I’m not going anywhere. You’re mine, and I’m yours. Forever.” She held him tightly as he wrapped his arms around her and shuddered. “I’ve got you and I’m not letting you go,” she whispered. If Marcius weren’t dead she’d torture him—kill him slowly and painfully for all the vile things he’d done.
A little later Jax’s whispered words pierced her. “I used to dream of all the ways I planned to kill him, and while I’m glad he’s gone, I hate that it fell to Sami to do it. But I’m so glad he did it before Marcius could—” Before he raped you.
“I know, me too.”
Tierney held him, and decided that though now may not be the right time, he needed to know about his father. And maybe telling him would be a good thing. Healing. “Jax, Marcius was not your father.”
He pulled away and looked at her. “W-what?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spring this on you, but it explains so much.”
Jax stared at her in confusion. “What, how? What do you mean?”
Tierney grimaced. “I got a preview inside Marcius’ twisted mind. It’s why he resented you so much.”
Anger glittered, and his eyes darkened. “Show me.”
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea—”
“Please Tiern, I need to see.”
His plea tore at her and she only hoped showing him wouldn’t make things worse. “Okay, I’ll show you who your real father is.”
Jax’s eyes widened. “You know? How? Who?”
She smiled, but the thoughts swirling in his mind a moment later wiped her smile away.
“Doesn’t matter.” He grew quiet again.
Oh baby. He figured if his real father cared, he would’ve made himself known and stopped Marcius. Her eyes glittering, Tierney shook her head fiercely. “Yes, it matters. He didn’t know you existed until the other day.”
She gently held his head and gazed into his eyes. Opening their connection wide, she started to guide him to what he needed to see, when he dove right in. “No, Jax. You don’t want to see that.” She tried to stop him, wanting only to show him Latia’s love for him, but it was too late.
Jax saw Marcius that day long ago right after he’d been born, with his mother. “That sick fucking asshole!” He shook with rage.
“I’m sorry, love,” she said.
Jax started to pull from her mind, but Tierney directed him to the sight of Sami in Latia’s arms after he was born. “What he did was despicable and unforgivable, but don’t forget, someone wonderful—Sami—was born as a result of that horrible moment, and I remember how deeply your mom loved both of you.”
“How do you always know how to make me feel better?” he asked.
“I love you. I don’t like you hurting,” she said.
“I love you too, but don’t keep anything from me, please. I need to see it all.”
“All right,” she agreed.
Tierney showed him how she found him the other day, almost dead. How she pushed her power into him, but he still died. She let him see how she didn’t want to live without him, and how she accidentally summoned Adariasthorn, and realized he was Jax’s real father.
She let him see Adariasthorn’s shock when he found out he had a son. Then how he helped save Jax’s life. When she finished, Jax stayed silent. So many conflicting emotions swamped him.
“Are you okay?” Tierney watched everything flicker through his eyes as she ran her fingers lovingly through his short hair.
“Yeah, I think so. I don’t know. I hate Marcius so much.” He glanced up at her. “But if not for him, Sami wouldn’t be here. Still, Adariasthorn?”
Tierney gave him a gentle smile. “Do you remember when we saw him, after the funerals?”
Remembering the attack on their village brought a glazed look to his eyes. “Not really.”
“Well, I’ll show you.” She proceeded to take him back to that day. “You look like him, and Latia named you after his twin.”
Amazement filled Jax’s eyes, along with a spark of hope. Tierney smiled as Jax hugged her tight. Eventually they slept, cuddled up together. “I love you, Tiern. You heal me—make me whole. Thank you.”
“You make me whole too, and I love you as well, Jaxsaron.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Phoenix
TIERNEY AWOKE THE NEXT MORNING, looked down at Jax and smiled. “Hey.”
“Hi.” Heat filled eyes met her gaze and Tierney licked her lips, then they began to explore each other. A little later they dragged themselves out of bed.
“I want to see Zander,” Jax said.
“Me too. First, I’m going to go shower,” Tierney said and climbing from the bed, she headed for the door leading to the hallway.
“You can shower with me,” Jax suggested with a grin.
Tierney smirked. “Sure, and we’ll never get downstairs.” She slipped out of his room with a grin and a wiggle.
Tierney had warned Jax of what to expect, but she knew that nothing could prepare him for how broken Zander was, lying in his bed.
“What did they do to him?” Jax swore at the sight of the man he loved like a father.
“Tortured him, drained his blood. Like they did to you, only more,” she whispered.
“Why the hell do they want our blood?” He didn’t take his eyes off Zander.
Tierney shrugged. “According to Genna, they use it to boost their weak magic.”
“Kyrian’s healer re-broke his leg, and set it so it’ll heal properly. His limbs are starting to re-grow, but it will be slow and painful,” Sami piped up from where he sat in the corner, and sadness laced his voice. “He’s in a magical coma, Kyrian plans to wake him in the next couple days.”
Tierney shuddered and Jax pulled her into his arms. If Sami was surprised at seeing them together, he gave no indication. They were quiet for a few moments, until the sound of screeching out in the great room startled them.
“What the hell?” Jax asked as they all hurried out to find Genna facing off with Brimstone.
“Who—why is she here?” Jax stared at Genna as he took in the scene in front of him.
“Yeah, forgot to tell you, we have guests. Genna helped us find you—in exchange for bringing her and her friend Caden home with us,” Tierney said.
“What—no,” Jax gave a horrified shudder.
Tierney grinned, knowing that he didn’t like devil-gir
l and was going to hate her next bit of news. “Besides, she’s your sister.”
“What?” he gasped and stared, dumbfounded.
Genna turned and smirked at him. Sami didn’t say a word and Tierney wondered how he was doing. She’d tried to talk to him about Adarias being Jax’s real father, but Sami said he was okay, and refused to talk about it.
“And that’s Brimstone.” She indicated the defiant man standing in front of Genna. When Tierney had last seen him, Brimstone had been sleeping as he recovered from his injuries. “Looks like he’s better,” she said wryly.
Brimstone was a good looking twenty-four-year old, with short, dark brown hair, pale skin, almond-shaped silvery-blue eyes, and was definitely not human.
Tierney didn’t know what kind of Supe he might be, and so far, he hadn’t been very forthcoming about anything other than his name and age.
“Brimstone, huh?” Jax smirked and she squeezed his hand, thinking about the night before. “Why does he look familiar?” he asked, as Genna continued to spew threats at the guy.
“Ah, yeah, Brimstone looks identical to the woman we saw the other day who—” She stopped and glanced at Sami. “The one we witnessed get thrown into the fire.” She finished the last bit telepathically.
“Crap.” Jax said and although they had spoken quietly, Brimstone still overheard them.
“You saw my sister?”
“Ah—” Tierney hesitated, not sure what to say. How did you tell someone that you watched their sister get thrown into a pit of flames? Because even though she didn’t know Brimstone well, she still couldn’t just blurt it out.
Thaniel appeared beside her, and Tierney smiled fondly at him. “Hey, you okay?”
He nodded.
“Hey, Thaniel,” Jax said.
Bk 1 Dracones Awakening Page 33