by Mary Monroe
Darla stood stock-still. The disgusted look on her face told me what she was thinking. “Not that Rachel, I hope.”
“Not quite, but just as disgusting. It was her girl Lucy.”
“Isn’t she the woman who badgered you to go out with Rachel in the first place?”
I nodded. “She’s the one.”
“Oomph! You ought to be just as mad at her as you are at that Rachel. Had it not been for Lucy, you wouldn’t have gone through that trauma with her crazy-ass bitch friend!”
“Well, that crazy-ass bitch is in the past, so I don’t have to worry about her anymore. She’s in Alabama right now, Lucy claims.”
“If she was on the moon, that still wouldn’t be far enough away! I hope she stays in Alabama!”
“Unfortunately, she’s only visiting. She’ll be back here soon.”
Darla let out an angry breath and continued with her brow furrowed. “Do you . . . do you ever think about her?”
“Only when somebody else mentions her name,” I said. “Lucy also told me that Rachel’s dating a lot of guys right now.”
“From what you’ve told me, I’m not surprised. The way she dressed when I saw her at the gym, she looked like she was advertising. How that woman can keep a bunch of men interested in that loathsome pussy you told me she had is a mystery to me. I don’t know how in the world you managed to stick your dick into such a sloppy cow for as long as you did!”
“It wasn’t easy, honey. But since she was sometimes so nice to me, I did it out of gratitude. Rachel was a sex addict. I couldn’t keep her satisfied—which is why I know she was seeing other men behind my back.” The more I bashed Rachel, the better I felt. Even though almost every bad thing I said about her was not true, it still helped ease my guilt.
“And as horny as you told me she was all the time, there had to be a hell of a lot of gratitude involved on your part.”
“There was. But you’ve more than made up for that hellish nightmare. Let’s hurry up and eat dinner so we can work on getting that baby boy you promised me!”
Chapter 52
Rachel
I HAD ENJOYED EATING CHRISTMAS DINNER WITH MY MOTHER AND my siblings. Ernest had not paid much attention to me until we had gathered at the table to eat. Right after Mama had carved the huge turkey and dropped two large slices of dark meat onto his plate, he’d thanked her in the sweetest voice, and then he’d turned to me.
“Rachel, I wish you could stay with us forever,” he’d told me. “You’d be happy here.”
Mama had gasped. This was the first time my brother had spoken since I’d arrived. I was more surprised by what he’d just said than the fact that he was talking again.
“Thank you for saying that, Ernest.” I had to blink hard to hold back my tears. “But I am happy in California.”
“No, you ain’t,” Janet piped in. “Not after what that Seth done to you. Want me to go out there and kill him for you? I could throw some battery acid in his face or beat him over the head with something until he’s dead. That’s what you should have done in the first place.”
“Now, Janet, you behave yourself. We are not a violent family, so ain’t nobody going to touch a hair on that man’s head,” Mama said, turning to me as if she expected me to confirm her statement.
“You’re right, Mama. I wouldn’t hurt a hair on Seth’s head,” I said, crossing my legs at the ankles.
“Jesus spoke to me that night I heard him on the telephone. The Lord told me I should have struck him down dead right then and there,” Janet said.
“I did not tell you no such thing!” Ernest yelled, waving his fist in the air. “Don’t you be lying on me!”
Mama looked at me and shook her head. I waited until my siblings calmed down, finished their dinner, and left the room before I spoke again.
“Mama, I thought you told me things were about the same.”
“I did. Why?”
“Since when did Ernest start thinking he was Jesus Christ?”
“Oh, that wasn’t nothing. One time when he was a teenager he told me he was the Devil. It was that new medication they had him on back then.”
“Maybe I should move back home, after all.”
“Hush up! You talking nonsense. I know you don’t want to move back here no more than I want you to!”
Mama’s last statement surprised me and made me feel sad. “You don’t want me down here to help out?”
“All I want is for you to be happy. And I know you wouldn’t be happy living down here again. Now, you go on back to California and live your life.”
I went home that first Sunday into the New Year, but I didn’t return to work until the following Wednesday.
Before I could even sit down at my desk, Lucy popped into my office. “Guess who I ran into while you were in Alabama?” she began, shutting the door with her foot.
“Who?” I sat down and crossed my legs.
“Your ex.”
I shrugged. “Skirt? Hmmm. I hope he’s behaving himself. I just might give him a call. . . .”
“Girl, don’t you play stupid with me. You know I’m talking about Seth.”
“Oh.” I knew it was going to be a long day for me. I could tell from the tight look on Lucy’s face that she was about to tell me something I didn’t want to hear.
“I ran into him as I was leaving the baby store in Emeryville. That fool was loaded down with enough toys for three babies. By the time that little girl starts preschool, she’ll be spoiled rotten to the bone! And you should have seen how smug he looked! I wanted to slap him when he started bragging about his new baby girl. Gayle Marie is her name, and according to him, she’s just as beautiful as his wife.”
“Was he alone?”
“Uh-huh. I told him how well you’re doing. But it didn’t even faze him. He looked like he couldn’t have cared less. I don’t know how you can stand to live in the same town with that man. The way he dogged you was a crying shame! Then for him to up and marry another woman and go on his merry way, like he didn’t have a care in the world, added insult to injury. Honey, if I were you, I wouldn’t worry about him. God don’t like ugly, and sooner or later Seth will get what’s coming to him.”
“He sure will. . . .” And it was going to be sooner rather than later.
After I had gone through my in-box, my e-mail, and my phone messages, which took most of the morning, I decided to take my lunch early and go get a manicure. The shop I went to was a few blocks from Seth’s office building, so when I drove down that street and saw him strutting out of the building in a navy blue suit, my heart skipped a beat. I had to pull off to the side for a few minutes and compose myself. Just as I was about to leave, I saw him barrel out of the parking garage and turn at the corner. Knowing him, he was probably rushing to get to a bar.
I followed him to Miguel’s, a popular Mexican restaurant near an industrial area that he used to take me to. After he parked and went inside, I waited in my car across the street for about ten minutes before I went in. Once I got inside, what I saw made me want to throw up. There he was, sitting at the bar, with a huge Cadillac margarita and a bowl of chips and salsa on the counter in front of him. He was showing pictures of his new baby to the bartender when I approached and tapped him on the shoulder.
“Hello, Seth,” I said casually. He almost tumbled off his stool when I sat down next to him. “I hope you and your family had a nice Christmas and a happy New Year.”
“Uh . . . uh, we did.” He closed his wallet and shifted in his seat.
“May I have a margarita, please? And make sure mine is a Cadillac, too,” I told the bartender.
Seth and I remained silent for a few seconds. Then I turned to face him and looked directly into his eyes, which looked like they were about to explode. “Seth, you could have been man enough to tell me the real reason you didn’t want to marry me.”
“Look, Rachel. Why are you even going there after all this time? You and I are over, and it doesn’t matter what the rea
son was,” he snarled.
The bartender placed my drink on the counter and gave Seth a puzzled look. “Put that on my tab,” Seth told him.
“That’s mighty generous of you, Seth,” I said with a dry laugh. “So, tell me, how is married life treating you?”
“Better than you are.” He gave me a hot look and added, “I never thought you’d be the Fatal Attraction type.”
“Ha! Don’t flatter yourself, black boy. I’m not fatally attracted to you.”
“Then why are you stalking me?”
I took a sip of my drink first. “I’m not stalking you,” I said, purposely not stifling the loud belch that popped out of my mouth.
“Well, what do you call what you’re doing to me, Rachel?”
“I call it letting you know you hurt me. I didn’t deserve to be treated so badly, Seth.”
“What . . . ever,” he growled. “It is what it is.” Then he rolled his eyes, and for some reason, that made me flinch. I was surprised that I did not jump up and start beating him over the head with the first thing I could get my hands on, like I had done with my ex back in Alabama. I was glad that I was able to remain calm. The last thing I wanted him to do was run out of the place before I had a chance to say everything I wanted to say.
“Do you think you made the right decision by dumping me for that other woman?” I asked.
“For your information, ‘that other woman’ is the woman I love, and I’m very happy to be with her. Thank you for asking.”
“Seth, if you had told me the reason you didn’t want to marry me, I would have understood. At least we could have still been friends.”
“Rachel, what do you want from me?”
“You don’t have anything I want now. Look, it wasn’t what you did to me. It was how you did it. You were not even man enough to tell me the real reason you dumped me. I had to hear it from my so-called ‘crazy sister,’ who overheard you telling it to somebody on the telephone when we were in Alabama. Then I heard it from Sister Beulah after you fired her. From what she told me, everybody else already knew.”
“So what do you want me to do about it?”
I looked directly into Seth’s eyes. For the first time since I’d met him, I realized how unattractive his eyes were. They seemed empty and false, as if they belonged on a dead man. “Then it is true? You broke up with me because you didn’t want to take a chance on having children with mental problems, but you stayed with me until I helped you finish paying off some of your bills.”
My accusation caught him off guard. He almost tumbled off his seat. “If you already believe that, why do you need to hear it again?”
“Because I want to hear it from your mouth.” I couldn’t believe how calmly I was still talking, because I wanted to scream. My long-suffering heart was breaking in two, and I was getting more pissed off by the second.
“All right. If you want to hear it from me, you will. I did not want to have children with you!”
“Because they may have been born with mental problems?”
“Because they may have been born with mental problems!” he confirmed, speaking through clenched teeth, with both of his jaws twitching. “Now that I’ve said what you wanted to hear, will you leave me the hell alone?”
I finished my drink and set the glass on the counter. Then I slid off the stool and looked at Seth one last time. “Thank you for being honest.”
His eyes looked like they belonged on the Devil. Had he given me a more evil gaze, I probably would have melted. “Now, is there anything else you want to know, Rachel?”
I shook my head. “Not at the moment.”
When I turned to leave, Seth grabbed my arm. “I don’t want anything else to do with your crazy ass,” he told me with his teeth clenched and his face covered in sweat. “If you see me on the street or anywhere else, please ignore me, because that’s what I’ll do if and when I see you again. Get on with your life and leave me the hell alone, woman!”
“I already have, Seth.” Then something happened to me that I couldn’t explain. My head began to spin, and I felt hot all over. “But there’s one more thing I need to say to you. One word.”
“What?” he roared. He slammed his fist down on the counter and glared at me like he wanted to gouge my eyes out.
I spoke the word as slowly and as clearly as I could. “Karma.”
“What the fuck—”
I nodded. I cocked my head to the side and finished what I had to say. “Karma is a bitch named Rachel.”
Seth’s jaw dropped, and his eyes got big. “Is that a threat?”
“That’s a promise.” I took a deep breath and strolled back out to my car.
Chapter 53
Seth
I FINISHED MY DRINK AND LEFT MIGUEL’S TO GO MEET WITH ANOTHER potential client. She had invited me to have lunch with her at a restaurant she’d chosen.
I was early, so I took my time driving to Grace’s Cove, a place near the marina that the college crowd had made popular over the years. They served only organic items, which I had no use for, and no alcohol. I would never have chosen to have lunch at such a place on my own. None of the items on their menu appealed to me, so I knew it would be a light lunch for me, most likely a cup of soup and a sandwich. I had planned to order a couple of tacos at the Mexican restaurant, until Rachel showed up. I was still shaken because of that encounter, but I was not about to let that damn woman ruin my day.
My business was still doing well, with a few ups and downs along the way. If I managed to land this new account, a string of clothing stores for tall and big-boned women, I’d be on easy street for a very long time.
My lunch date had already arrived at the restaurant when I got there. I joined her in a booth in the back. Less than a minute later, Rachel came through the door! That bitch! I could not believe she had followed me from Miguel’s. She sat down in the booth directly across from ours, staring at me like she wanted to kill me. Because of that karma foolishness she had said to me, I had a feeling she did. But I was not going to be intimidated by a woman, especially not this one. The strange thing was, women in general had begun to get on my nerves lately. I loved Darla and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, but I was slowly seeing another side of her. She was not the docile, well-groomed, sweet-talking woman she had been before we got married. She didn’t cater to me the way she used to. She argued with me a lot, and she was hard to please.
Last night, when I’d handed her the glass of water she had asked me to get, she’d said, “I didn’t want a full glass.” When I’d drunk some of the water and handed the glass back to her, she’d said, “You drank too much.” There was no pleasing her, and I had stopped trying so hard, because I had come to realize that with her I couldn’t win. It was easier to keep the peace when I allowed her to have her way.
Darla had hired a nanny, so she usually didn’t get out of bed until noon. Some days when I got home in the evening, she’d still be in her bathrobe, and her hair would still be in those loathsome sponge rollers she wore all the time. One of the main things that bothered me about Darla was that she and my son, Darnell, didn’t get along. When he’d called and asked to come spend his last Christmas vacation with me, Darla had bitched and moaned about it so much, I’d had to tell him at the last minute not to come. Rachel had welcomed my son with open arms, and she had gone out of her way to make him feel loved and appreciated. Of all the lovers in my life whom my son had met, the only one he had ever asked about after the fact was Rachel. I recalled how happy he had been those two weeks he spent with us. She had introduced some serious structure into Darnell’s life, the one thing that his mother and I had failed to do. I didn’t want to forget the positive influences that she had brought into my son’s life, but I told myself I had to. Especially now that I knew what a hothead she had turned into.
“You’re looking as lovely as ever,” I said to my lunch date across the table as I looked at Rachel out of the corner of my eye.
Sadie West wa
s old enough to be my grandmother, and she looked it. Her mulish light brown face contained more lines than a steno pad. She had been married twice, had two sons and a daughter, and owned a mansion. It was hard to believe that a woman who always wore drab dark outfits, like the one she had on now, owned and operated four high-end women’s clothing stores. But I assumed that once a woman got to a certain age and size, she didn’t really pay that much attention to her appearance. Sadie’s short natural hair was as white as snow and reminded me of a ball of cotton.
“I was really looking forward to today. It’s nice to see you again, Mr. . . . May I call you Seth?”
“Please do,” I gushed. My heart was beating about a mile a minute. I silently prayed that Rachel would not make a scene. I cringed when I thought of how she could do or say something offensive in front of Mrs. West. This woman was not one I wanted to upset in any way. Next to Mother, she was one of the most straitlaced and proper women I knew.
“And please call me Sadie. There’s no need for us to be so formal at this point.”
The waiter took our orders, and he couldn’t bring me a glass of mineral water fast enough. My throat was so dry, I could barely move my tongue. I ignored Rachel, but I suspected she was still looking at me. Each time I glanced in her direction, she was. I had never seen such contempt in a woman’s eyes before in my life. Even at her worst, my son’s mother had never exhibited this level of animosity toward me.
“I’m so glad you were able to fit me into your schedule today, Sadie,” I said after I’d gulped down half of the water in my glass.
“You were very persistent and persuasive, Seth. I like that. It’s a sign of discipline and control. Now, tell me again why you think I should do business with your company. We’ve been doing quite well on our own,” Sadie said. “We’re one of the oldest minority-owned businesses in Northern California, and some of our customers have been with us from day one. We’re in a good place.”