"The chicken nuggets are in the oven."
When I reach the landing at the top of the stairs, Sydney hands me sex-week-old Sebastian.
Oops. Freudian slip I suppose. I meant six-week-old.
"Here. He keeps trying to get his lunch from me." Her face contorts in the typical disgusted teenager look she seems to have perfected these last few years.
"He loves his big sister," I say.
We exchange the newest Shaw clan member and her eyes roam up and down my body.
"Well, these aren't producing any milk." She takes both of her hands and presses her breasts up as though I don't catch her meaning.
"Can I touch?" Jackson reaches the landing, looking over to his sister, hands already stretched out over his head in preparation.
"No." Sydney and I say in unison, each of our hands pulling one of his arms down.
Jackson scrunches up his face. "Why? Daddy gets to."
"What?" I scream.
Jackson’s lip trembles as a result, not understanding my reaction.
Sydney rolls her eyes—her second favorite non-verbal communication these days.
So, maybe my career as a youth counselor has me on high alert, and when you add on my hormones and sleep deprivation I feel like I’m stuck in the middle of a spinning tornado most days.
"He's always touching yours," Jackson says, swiveling my way with hands out for me.
"No." Sydney and I say in unison—again, each of our hands pushing his arms down.
Jackson's shoulders deflate and he waddles down the hall to his bedroom in full pout mode.
Sydney's eyes roam up and down my body once again.
“Why do you keep looking at me like that?” I ask.
"Are you going to shower today? Chloe and Sasha are coming over later."
"How about I pay you, Chloe and Sasha to watch the kids?"
She follows me into Sebastian's room, where she purposely looks anywhere but at me since I'm getting ready to nurse for the millionth time today.
I grab at what is the last straw in order to gain the time to shower, shave, and look half-way sexy for tonight.
I bet you're thinking it's our anniversary?
Nope.
Birthday?
Wrong again.
Sebastian is six weeks old today and I just got the clearance yesterday to resume having sex with my sexy beast of a husband.
"Sorry, we're heading to the festival."
"An hour? Surely, you can give me an hour?"
Her shoulders falter similar to Jackson seconds earlier.
"Fine. I don't know whose idea it was to have all these damn kids." She stomps off to her room and slams the door.
With that taken care of I grant my new guy all of my attention, propping my feet up on the stool, and admiring my little Garrett. He really is the spitting image of his father, minus the beard of course.
After I feed and burp him, he falls asleep in my arms, so, we go downstairs and I place him in the bassinet.
The sound of Jackson's footsteps ring out on the stairs and when he enters the room I see that the sadness from earlier has disappeared from his face.
"Smelly," he says and waves his hand in front of his face.
It's then that my gaze flicks to the oven, seeing smoke pouring out.
The nuggets.
I run over to the oven, press the fan button and open the oven door to pull them out.
There they sit on the stovetop, all burnt and hard on a cookie sheet with smoke billowing off them.
"My nuggets," Jackson's lip trembles again and I can’t help but compare this little guy to the sweet smiley boy I knew just six weeks ago.
Have I ruined his structured and happy life because we had Sebastian?
"It's okay, buddy, I'll make more." I scramble around the kitchen, opening windows and doors to get the smoke out before the detector goes off and wakes up Sebastian.
"My nuggets," he whines again, staring at the baking sheet with what looks like pieces of coal scattered around.
I swoop him up, and nuzzle his head into the crook of my neck.
"What happened?" Sydney appears in the doorway dressed in a cute pair of shorts and tank top with her hair and make-up perfected. The only thing spoiling her look is the sour expression on her face. Her gaze focuses on the tray. "Again?"
I shoot her my give-me-a-fucking-break-one-day-you'll-be-where-I am-now look and hand her Jackson.
She picks him up and he swings his arms around her neck.
Those two really do have a special bond. One that can be hard to break. Hopefully, Sebastian will be just as welcomed once he’s no longer a twenty-four seven eating, crying, and pooping machine. I think they both find him more of a nuisance than anything right now.
"My nuggets," Jackson repeats in a small voice.
Syd and I both look at the clock and nod our heads.
Naptime.
I know he needs to eat but he’s going to be a complete disaster later if he doesn’t take his nap.
The door bell rings and Sydney pulls Jackson from her body and places him in my arms.
"That was a nice minute break," I mumble, following her to the door.
She slides on her sandals while I open the front door. Not the pair of teenagers I was expecting. Instead it's my mother-in-law, Jane.
"Jackson," she says as she opens the screen door and walks through the archway, her arms already out and ready to hold him.
No one wants their mother-in-law to see them when they’re struggling, but I’ll take the small break her presence will afford me.
Sydney says hello to her grandmother and a moment later Chloe's car pulls up and Sydney gives her grandma a kiss on the cheek.
"I’m assuming since Grams is here, you don’t need us to watch the ruffians,” she says and passes me, stepping out onto the porch. “I'll call later."
"Syd," I follow her out to the driveway.
"Hi, Mrs. Shaw," Chloe and Sasha both say from the car, each waving.
"Hi, girls." I turn my attention to Sydney, who I can tell is ready to tune me out.
One day we'll be friends again when her age starts with a two and not a one, I remind myself.
"Your dad is home tonight and he's going to want to see you. So, dinner at six, okay?"
She rolls her eyes, but nods. Garrett's been gone for four days and wants an all-hands-on-deck family dinner tonight.
"Great. Have fun." I move toward her to kiss her on the cheek or hug her, like the good old days before she entered high school.
I quickly retract my advance when I catch the horrified look on her face and before I know it, she's sliding into the backseat of Chloe's car.
I hear them drive away as I make my way back to the front door and spot a box sitting on our porch.
I pick it up, carrying it inside.
Before I can examine the package, Jackson runs up to me. "Present?" he asks.
So much for his lunch. Or that nap.
I look down at the label, finding that it’s for me, from an address I don't recognize.
I haven't had time for general hygiene the past six weeks, let alone online shopping.
"I’m not sure what it is kiddo."
I join Jane in the living room where she’s sitting on the couch. I know she's just waiting for Sebastian to wake up so she can hold him.
"Open," Jackson says, his fingers already on the tape, trying to rustle the box open.
We both sit down on the family room floor. "You work that end and I'll work this one."
Jane watches on, a small smile on her face.
I should’ve gotten a knife and sliced through the tape, but Jackson's having fun as each small sliver of tape pulls off and he has to start over. Jane and I share a smile, watching him trying his darndest to get it open.
"Want more help?" I ask.
"Fucking tape," he mumbles, continuing to pull on the edge of tape.
Jane gasps.
I freeze.
"What did you say?" I ask
.
Jackson looks up at me, obviously sensing from my tone that he’s said something wrong. His lip tremble is seconds away.
"Fucking tape," he repeats a little more unsure this time.
Jane gasps again.
I let my chin drop down to my chest.
If my life were to be summed up with a hashtag right now it would most certainly be #Momfail.
Chapter 2
Sex Weeks
Charlie
Once we removed the fucking tape, Jackson was so excited, I let him pilfer through the package. I’m sure it’s just another baby gift for Sebastian. Our house is practically overrun with swaddling blankets and bibs at this point.
He tossed a note behind his shoulder so I picked it up from the floor and slid the notecard from the envelope, letting Jackson continue with the gift.
Charlie,
I can't wait to have your tits in my hands again tonight.
Love,
Garrett
Garrett is always short, sweet, and very direct. My husband is a breast man and lucky for him, I’m stacked—especially these days—and I love when he gives them his undivided attention. Heat rushes up my neck into my cheeks as I tuck the card back inside the envelope imagining Garrett’s large hands on my body.
"Oh, can I wear?" Jackson draws my attention away from my lustful thoughts.
I glance up having momentarily forgotten about the box entirely.
Jackson is holding up a lingerie set—it’s black and sheer and the fabric over the area where my breasts should be, is completely missing.
"Oh my," Jane says, covering her mouth.
My eyes widen and I reach to grab the lingerie from Jackson's hands but he steps back and my body slumps down to the hardwood floor.
"Jackson, that's for Mommy." My tone is calm and cool even if I'm secretly mortified and want to scream at him to give it back.
"I hope that's from my son," Jane says and chuckles.
"Jane," I sigh, not even sure how to respond to that.
I set my gaze back on Jackson who is now putting his arms through the straps of the skimpiest piece of lingerie I've ever seen.
"Jackson." I bite out as low as I can so that Jane doesn't think I'm raising my voice.
He smiles and twirls like a ballerina. "Pretty."
He may be spending way too much time with the Kent girls.
"It's very pretty,” I say. “Now pass it to Mommy.”
"I'm not sure it's meant to be pretty." Jane stands up, obviously giving up the fight of waiting Sebastian’s nap out. "I should go. We have the book club meeting this evening. I’d have watched the boys for you tonight, since my son..." she eyes the small piece of fabric I'm untangling from around Jackson…"has plans of his own, but I'm the leader tonight." She smiles and I can see that I’m not going to live this one down for a while.
"Mommy I want it," Jackson whines and there's that trembling lip coming out to wreak havoc on my heart again. This kid has learned way to early how to toy with my emotions.
"This is special, Jackson. Daddy got it for Mommy." I fold it, although it doesn't really allow for folding thanks to the underwires that are supposed to keep my tits looking like they did before the two boys came along. "Say goodbye to Grandma."
"No." He crosses his arms and stomps one foot down.
"Yes," I say patiently, placing the lingerie on the counter and turning him by the shoulders Jane's way.
I lightly push on his back and his sock covered feet slide along the floor to Jane, his arms remaining crossed over his chest.
"Bye, darling. I'll be back tomorrow." She holds out her arms and I push Jackson into her embrace. Squeezing him tight, she kisses the top of his head and ignores the fact that he never reciprocates.
"Jackson, stop it." I demand, but the tears are starting and soon the screaming is going to commence. My gaze shoots to Sebastian who rarely ever sleeps. "Here." I rush to the cabinet and pull out a sucker.
Jackson smiles, unwrapping it and putting it in his mouth.
You can stick the #1 Mom badge on me any time you like.
"Bye, Jane. Thanks for the offer to watch them."
I’m being generous since it wasn’t even an offer…more like dangling the carrot. Who brings false hope to a mom with an angst-ridden teenager, a toddler, and a six-week-old?
"I know. The darn book club, but it's only once a month." She walks toward the front door.
"I understand."
No, I really don't.
She opens the screen door. "Bye, Jackson!" she calls back over her shoulder and Sebastian starts crying.
My shoulders sag and I close my eyes and inhale a long breath.
"He picks now to wake up. Just when I'm leaving." Jane shakes her head as though she can't walk back in and take him for a while. "Tell my son to behave himself." She laughs, heading out to the car.
With a long sigh, I shut the door then scramble into the family room where Jackson is staring at Sebastian.
What a cute sibling moment, I reach for my phone on the counter.
Coming close, I take a few pictures of Jackson smiling down at his brother's bassinet. As I step even closer, trying to get some from a different angle, I notice that the sucker I gave Jackson in Sebastian's mouth.
"NO!" I scream, my phone dropping to the floor.
I grab the white stick and pull it out of Sebastian's mouth. He starts screaming again.
Jackson freezes, staring at me.
"We've talked about this Jackson! Sebastian cannot have any food yet."
"He stopped crying."
The kid has a point.
"Yes, but he's too little. If you want to give him something when he's crying, you give him the pacifier." I dig it out of the bassinet and hold it up for him.
Jackson’s bottom lip trembles and tears sprinkle down over his chubby cheeks as he makes his way over to sulk on the couch.
"Buddy," I say, following him after Sebastian is satisfied with his pacifier.
"I hate him." Jackson says, curling his small body into the crook of the couch.
Yep, I've officially ruined my four-year-olds life.
"You don't mean that." I wrap my arm around him the best I can, but he slinks further away from me.
Sebastian starts crying and I close my eyes to grasp what little patience I have left.
"I'll be right back." I say, kissing his temple.
He says nothing and I rise from the couch, feeling like the worst mom that ever walked the planet.
Scooping up Sebastian, I transfer him to the change pad on the living room floor, finding the reason he was screaming—he's wet.
As I’m finishing up my phone dings and I grab it from the floor where I dropped it when I thought my newborn was choking on a sucker.
The screen is cracked.
Great, Garrett's going to have a field day with this one.
Low and behold the text is from my Sexy Beast.
Garrett - Tracking says the gift was delivered?
I've mastered the art of holding a baby and texting with one hand, but I need to be sitting down so I take a seat on the couch.
Me: A little warning next time. Jackson opened the box...in front of your mom.
Garrett: I think Jackson and Sebastian are proof that we aren't sleeping in separate beds.
Me: Still I don’t think your mom needed the image of me wearing lingerie in her head.
Garrett: Babe, you're killing me. I just landed and I have a two-hour ride before I get home. All that's gotten me through these last few days is knowing I'll be inside you tonight.
Me: You act like you’ve been suffering.
I laugh because we'd teetered on the edge of going against medical advice after I was put on bed rest during my pregnancy with Sebastian. We had sex right up to the day Jackson was born, but Sebastian’s pregnancy was more difficult.
Garrett: I deserve a medal for how long I've lasted.
Me: Don’t act like you haven’t gotten yours.
>
Garrett: Baby, I love your mouth and your hand, but I need your pussy pulsating around my cock.
Me: Keep up the dirty talk you sexy beast.
Garrett: I’ll be titty fucking you tonight, too babe. You can count on it.
Me: Let's not forget the boys and Syd will be home.
Garrett: I think we’ve mastered quiet sex by now. I have to start driving, so, please put the gift on and send me a picture.
Me: Sure thing, right after your one son gets off my tit and the other one goes down for his nap.
My eyes flick to Jackson and there he is asleep on the couch. One down.
Garrett: I'm literally biting my fist with how envious I am of my son.
I laugh, shaking my head.
Me: See you in a bit. Love you.
Garrett: Love you more.
I place my phone down and ponder what to do. Jackson is fast asleep and Sebastian is wide awake. Isn't that always the case? I stand up, place a blanket on Jackson and take Sebastian upstairs for some shower and shave time with Mommy. On the way to the kitchen, the charred chicken nuggets on the cookie sheet remind me that Jackson still hasn't eaten.
Damn it. Just when I was starting to feel like I was getting control of my day.
Chapter 3
Sex Weeks
Charlie
The clock next to Garrett's side of the bed glows four o'clock. Where has my day gone?
Grabbing the bouncing lounger for Sebastian, I place it on the bathroom floor, strapping him in.
The warm water steams the room up and I turn the fan on so it doesn't overwhelm Sebastian too much.
Not knowing whether I have two hours or two minutes, I strip out of my yoga pants and stained t-shirt and hop in the shower right away. I shave, leaving only the hair on my head and a small patch above my pussy, just how Garrett likes it.
My skin is red when I get out and Sebastian is asleep. If this is what does it for him I see a lot of showers in my future.
#MomFail: 24 Authors & 24 Mom-Coms Page 19