“You aren’t fine,” he grumbled and followed me towards the horse. “Why do you have to act so tough all the time? You’re dying, you’re allowed to want to cry and feel sorry for yourself once in a while. You’ve been dragged through hell – stuck in a life you don’t remember. Then you were… you were drugged and almost assaulted.” His voice cracked.
I stilled immediately, feeling the warmth of the Count’s blood on my naked body - of the fear, relief and embarrassment of seeing Jack over me. But worse than all of that: being completely out of control of my own body. I hated that the most. I hated that my body had not belonged to me for that amount of time.
I supposed that made me a hypocrite – since this wasn’t my real body and I’d locked Marion out of it.
Jack took a moment before continuing. “It’s not unusual that you’d feel upset. It’s more unusual that you’re able to compose yourself after everything you’ve been through.”
“Is it? You’re the one who thinks I’m a cold-hearted bitch who deserves to die!” I fired back without really thinking and it was a stupid thing to say because he didn’t think that anymore. “Sorry,” I said quietly, gulping and looking over his face for any kind of reaction.
He looked at me tired and sighed. “It’s okay. Look, how about we set camp now and get some rest?”
I nodded my head in silence and looked away embarrassed. We moved around each other, unloading the horse and collecting firewood. Then when we were done we slumped down next to each other.
I watched the fire numbly, playing with the thread of a wool blanket and grasping the leather satchel of water. Jack handed me some of the food we’d been carrying for the last couple days but I refused. He didn’t push me to eat - just set it between us and moved closer to me. I pulled the blanket more around me and turned my head away from him, feeling my chest swarm with emotion and my throat burn with tears.
“What was her name?” he asked softly before quickly adding, “you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
I didn’t really want to talk about anything but something told me it might make me feel better.
“Adelaide,” I said. I’d never had to relive that moment before. My Totem always took me to before she was born or after when I became a spy in the war. There was probably a good reason why our Totem’s never took us to timelines with presents that had our children in them.
“She didn’t survive.” My voice cracked and I coughed quickly, he nodded his head - he understood. It was impossible for any of us to have children that lived long. In most lives, I could never have a child and the ones where I did none had ever lived to their first birthday. I didn’t know about the other Time Bender's - we tried to avoid the topic.
Fynn was the only person who had a girl in the present time - like a ticking bomb Fynn couldn’t prevent. Time Bending was a gift and a curse in so many ways. Further pointing to the fact we were freaks of nature.
He hadn’t asked me to continue, but I’d never spoken about one of my children. “She was just ten months old.” He took a deep breath, probably trying to tell me it was okay but I carried on.
“She would crawl everywhere, she used to hang on to the bannister and she looked exactly like me.” My voice cracked and I spluttered out a sob, Jack wrapped an arm around me. “I had to run out for an errand and so I left her with the babysitter... when I heard the sirens, I watched the bomb fall on my neighbourhood.”
“Nova,” he rasped.
“We found her in the early morning crushed to death.” I shook horrifically, my whole body tightening as I tried to keep in the tears. “Ten months.”
Jack engulfed me in a hug, stroking my hair and crushing me to his chest tightly. Finally, when I felt the weight come off my chest and I felt ten times lighter, I imagined her - every other child of a Time Bender in a better place. Wherever that was. If there was a place where regular people went when they died, whether they were faeries or whether they were just dead - in a dusty box surrounded by mud and insects.
“I had a boy in the year 2025... his mother ditched us when he was just a month old, he made it to two years old. Spitting image of me,” his voice strained.
I looked at the fire, trying to imagine a boy with dark curly locks and the warmest brown eyes.
“I hate that we can’t remember them,” Jack continued, also watching the fires flames jump and crackle.
“It’s probably best our Totems never take us to the moment in the timeline when they’re alive - even if we’re pleading for that time. It’s like they know we’d try to change it,” I replied quietly, fiddling with the loose thread of the blanket, pulling it and stroking the material under my hands.
From the corner of my eye, I watched Jack turn to face me. “Unless we waited for them.”
“It would never allow us.”
“It allows us to change things. It allowed us to kill the Count,” he pointed out.
I shook my head. “That’s different. Even I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t change the fate of my children - it would have changed everything for other timelines.” There was a pause of silence before I spoke again. “I never asked for this. All I want is a normal life.”
He pulled me closer against his chest and I closed my eyes. “What kind of normal life?”
I smiled a little. “I don’t know. I quite like the internet so maybe the 2000s.”
I felt his lips on the back of my head and he laughed lowly. “Not early 2000s right?”
“Oh god no. I’m talking about the Vine era and onwards, I could lose myself in YouTube videos.”
Jack sucked in a breath. “Damn, YouTube. Whatever happened to it? Not to mention Tik Tok.”
I raised an eyebrow. “I think I died before Tik Tok…” I pronounced the words carefully and Jack’s lips twitched.
“Finally something I know that you don’t.”
I scowled and rolled my eyes. “Do you even have social media in the Rebellion?”
Jack laughed. “We use your social media - we don’t have our own.”
I smirked. “Do you follow me?”
He threw his head back and laughed loudly. “No - it’s only looked at so we know what’s happening in Prospect.”
I sighed. “Social media in Prospect isn’t like before. It’s like a crappy sequel.” We both laughed and already the hallucination was slipping further and further into the back of my mind.
Jack batted his head against mine softly. “Okay, I’ll agree with you. The 2010s were pretty sweet, we’d have a normal life and only have to worry about global warming and 2020.”
I suppressed a shudder - I hadn't had a life during that period but the history books were definitely packed on the year.
“We can handle that.” I felt my lips twitch. “Two Time Benders against a global pandemic? We’d easily cheat the system.”
“Bulk buy toilet paper?” he joked and I cocked my head to the side in confusion.
“What?”
He pursed his lips and laughed silently. “Don’t worry - you weren’t there. You wouldn’t understand.” He sighed dramatically and I shoved my elbow into his side. He laughed and pulled me closer. “What about global warming? That could be an issue.”
“We still have to worry about global warming.” I rolled my eyes at him.
“The aftermath of mass extinction... I mean can it really get worse than it already is?” Jack added and I felt myself smile that we were discussing a serious topic about the present and it didn’t involve arguing.
“Okay. So we’d go back to the 2000s and save the world from global warming and 2020 before it was too late.” I tilted my head back and smiled at him, warm brown eyes greeted me.
“Not just that.” He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and smiled. “We’d live a normal life. We’d go to high school together. You’d probably be some preppy cheerleader and I’d be on the football team.”
“No you would not.” I threw my head back and laughed loudly.
&nbs
p; “Okay true. Football kind of sucks but for the sake of our cliché normal life let’s just pretend,” he replied and sighed wistfully.
“Keep going,” I whispered after a moment of silence. I started to close my eyes and tried to imagine this life.
He took a moment and tightened his arms around me. “I’d take you on a date to go see a movie in a really old pickup truck.”
“What movie?” I asked dreamily.
“Hmm, I don’t know, an Avengers film of something?”
“Damn, that’s old,” I laughed quietly. “Still, I’d watch it but secretly I wouldn’t be paying attention to the movie.”
He chuckled. “Why’s that?”
“Because the entire time I’d be hoping you’d hold my hand.”
He kissed my head. “Okay, I’ll remember that for when it happens.”
“Someday,” I sighed, coming back to reality and looking at the green hills and trees surrounding us but then Jack turned me to face him and kissed me with such force I forgot where we were and could pretend to be in our imaginary world.
We would be at the end of a perfect date. I wouldn’t smell like mud and dirt - I’d smell of some flowery perfume and Jack would be wearing an aftershave that drove me insane with butterflies. We’d be kissing outside my house, still in his car, hiding away from the peeping eyes of my parents. I’d have a mother who would want to know everything about the date over hot chocolate late at night. I’d tell her how he held my hand during the movie and took me to get ice cream afterwards even though it was winter. I’d tell her how I’d met him in some boring math’s lesson and not that I’d met him with the intentions of killing him.
“Someday,” Jack promised, his hands were soft against my cheeks and he stroked my bottom lip with a gentleness that shattered me.
It was a pointless word, with no meaning other than a glimpse of hope we had. We hoped for change - we hoped that someday things would be new and different for us even though they never would be. But maybe - just maybe we could entertain ourselves with the word someday.
CHAPTER 32
Time: 20th September 1661
Location: Scotland
We were back on the road. It was risky but we couldn’t ignore the pull from the well. I was making my way through trees for a toilet break - which was the worst part of the 17th century might I add... especially for us ladies.
After making my way through the weeds I stopped at the path I’d left Jack and the horse on, finding both were gone. I sighed irritated, turning my head either side of the path and finding nothing. I stomped my foot. “Jack!” I yelled crossing my arms irritated.
“Jack!” I repeated, waiting for him to come out of the trees with the horse laughing his dumb ass off.
“You can think again if you think I’m going to go searching for you!” I shouted. I stubbornly sat on the floor despite the mud that was only just starting to dry up and crossed my legs together. I sat waiting for longer than I’d like to admit - I was stubborn I know.
I only froze when my eyes began looking at the ground, where more than one horse’s hoof prints were marked in the mud. I scrambled to my feet and studied the floor. A little while back there were a lot of footprints scattered around and a few that looked as though there’d been a struggle.
Oh for god’s sake.
What had you gotten into Jack?
I pulled the hood of the cloak over my hat and began striding angrily in the direction the horses and footprints were heading. They couldn’t be too far ahead of me.
“Idiot,” I hissed. “Actual idiot!” I stopped in my tracks and splashed in a puddle on the side of the path and jumped up and down irritated. “Idiot!” I shouted.
I felt the pull in my chest wanting me to turn in a direction and I paused for a moment, contemplating leaving him. I got as far as walking ten steps in the right direction before stopping and turning back around to follow the tracks muttering angrily under my breath.
If he got us both killed and screwed everything up, I swore I would force myself to get reborn and find him in my next life to kill him again.
Was it Redcoats? Surely not, the footprints would be the same and there’d be a lot more of them. These were locals and they had something against Jack - or Thomas. Maybe Thomas got in some trouble and that’s the reason he ran and met the Count. It wouldn’t be completely out of the question.
The road gradually led to a town surrounded by a strong brick wall and upon entering I was instantly hit by the smell of shit and death. I had to fight to keep my rising sick from spewing onto the street and instead covered my mouth with the cloak. What kind of shit hole had you gotten yourself into Jack? Literally.
Something was going on. There was nobody by the entrance of the village, houses were deserted and as I walked further into the village, winding my way through the streets of manure I began to hear crowds shouting.
Where there was a crowd shouting, “die!” there would be Jack - likely in the centre of all the commotion.
I skidded to a halt as I saw wanted signs nailed to walls and doors. Jack’s face looked at me slightly cocky, his nose portrayed a lot bigger and less straight than it was in person. He was depicted with devil horns and a pitchfork - so he was known around here for being trouble I guessed.
I panicked even more when I saw my own 'wanted' poster trampled on the mud - I looked slightly better looking and my reward price was a lot higher than Jacks which had been gradually marked down several times. I smirked to myself and pulled the hood over my face, making my way into the crowd. Now all I had to do was find Jack.
People piled out of the doors of a building where there was a large amount of shouting. I wiggled my way through the crowd of sweaty people with rotting teeth and Scottish accents but gave up when I only got shoved back out of the crowd.
So there was some kind of trial I was guessing?
I didn’t really know what my plan of action was. There were a lot of people that needed to get out of the way.
But then I didn’t have time to come up with a plan. People had parted from the doors and were scrambling to the floor. I stood in the back watching curiously as people inside the building began shouting and then Jack was shoved out of the building.
He’d been sentenced... death?
He stood up, his head tilted back with no remorse. “Idiot,” I hissed, watching the two men shove him forward whilst others piled out to keep the crowd from going mental. I realised the reason they were all on the floor before he came out was that they were collecting stones to throw at him.
I saw Jack speak to the guards panicked, dodging stones as they soared through the air past his face.
I imagined he was requesting to be taken away and shot or something but the guard looked at him with his eyebrows high. Nice try Jack.
The crowd began moving, some people began hissing and spitting from their houses and Jack was forced down the street. We came to a square next to where he’d been on trial.
Jack was forced on to a stage where an average man with a black mask sat on a stool sharpening an axe. Jack looked at the crowd wildly and then at the smooth wood they were waiting for him to put his head on. He turned to face the executioner and they spoke amongst themselves.
I looked around the square for anything when I spotted carts upon carts of grain and food that clearly supplied the village.
I smirked.
Bull’s-eye.
I made my way towards the carts loaded with all sorts. Starting with one cart full of hay. The audience was focused on Jack as I quickly lit it and instantly the fire began to grow. Thank you Fate.
I checked to look for Jack whose face had turned white as he placed his head on the wood. The executioner brought out the axe and the crowd fell quiet. Now was my chance.
“Fire!” I screamed, grabbing the shoulders of people and pointing to the carts where flames began to gradually pick up - eating up the grain.
Technically it didn’t go against any rules because I didn
’t blow anything up. But I had just sentenced an entire village to a very hungry winter.
My eyes lit up like a child watching fireworks for the first time.
I watched the flames rise and people scrambling around for water to put the fire out. Then the fire caught on a thatched roof, which instantly went up in flames and I smiled like an evil demon child.
Once I finally tore my eyes away from the fire and was satisfied the crowd and executioner were distracted I realised Jack was running away from the crowd, waddling as fast as he could with shackles that kept his feet together. Everyone was too busy running around in a frenzy to notice him gone.
“Idiot,” I snapped, running through the chaos of people screaming. I swore if I was hallucinating again I’d be really annoyed.
I chased after him - not taking long before I snatched the back of his torn cloak and forced him into an open doorway. He growled, turning to fight whoever had caught him but paused when he saw me.
“Nova?”
“You’re welcome.” I grinned, looking around the room for anything. We were in some kind of carpenter workshop and thankfully there was a range of tools lined up on the wall. I grabbed for the axe.
“Did you see that?” I asked excitedly.
“Was that you?” Jack panted, watching as I took a few swings in the air feeling it’s balance.
“Yeah, did you see it?” I grinned.
He looked at me like I’d gone mad. “Of course I saw it! The British fucking army probably saw it!” he hissed. Bell’s were being rung urgently outside the shop.
“It was quick thinking,” I reasoned watching him grow red with anger.
“You practically killed them all. What happened to wanting to change Nova? Hell you could have changed so much-”
“Will you relax? It was just a fire and it’s not winter just yet,” I snapped, gripping the axe tightly.
“Winter is coming,” he snarled.
I raised my eyebrows, settling the axe down for a moment. “Please tell me that was a Game of Thrones reference.”
He blinked at me horrified that I could even joke at a moment like this. “What? No-” He paused for a moment and then tilted his head to the side as an amused smile graced his face. “It makes sense. Daenerys went mad you know? The similarities between you are pretty creepy… Silver hair - you just burnt an entire village-”
NOVA: The Time Bender Series Book 1 Page 23