Maybe he was home though. Maybe he died and woke up in his present body instead of being dead and reborn in a few years. And if he wasn’t... then it was only a few years until I’d see him again, providing I also got reborn.
But I wouldn’t remember him. Even if I was told of all my adventures and remembered some, would I remember this? Even memories from past lives were starting to blur into one confusing mess.
And what if because I’d done so much Time Bending I would die before I even got the chance to get executed. Would I even be reborn?
Even if I did everyone else would be dead. Maybe everything would be gone - Prospect and the Rebellion having destroyed one another.
There was something worse about knowing when you die you’d come back but everyone you knew from your old life would be dead. They would have grieved you already - moved on and forgotten.
“Nova?” a surprised voice exclaimed from the cell next to mine. There was some scrambling and then a familiar man’s face appeared through the bars. Jamie smiled at me cheekily, his bruised fists clutching onto the bars as he looked me up and down.
“You’ve looked better,” he continued talking. “This place is so deathly I’m surprised I didn’t realise you were here.”
I saw him adjust himself into a seating position as his chains clanked together. “I got myself into a little trouble once you two left and then I wound up here. In these.” He waved his chains in the air with a grin.
I looked through the greasy strands of my cluttered hair and he frowned. “Don’t worry girl, my men are coming. They’ll get us out of here. Anything for Tom’s girl.” He grinned. “Where is Thomas?” he asked suddenly, his face pale.
“He’s dead,” I replied blankly, turning my head away and staring at the wet stoned floor, stroking the fabric between my thumb and forefinger. Both Thomas and Jack were gone.
It was silent for a moment and then there was the sound of splashing as he stumbled against the stonewall.
“He’s not supposed to- how?” he asked breathing deeply. I curled up tighter, bringing my knees to my chest and swallowing the lump in my throat.
“He did it to save me from being killed. A bullet to the head, no pain,” I lied. I didn’t know why I lied, but if I had a cousin who’d just died I’d want to know it was quick and painless - not that he forced a sword into his heart in a final act of foolish heroism.
Jamie let out a long breath and then sniffled trying to contain a sob, he cried for a moment. He didn’t let himself cry long though before speaking again.
“I don’t understand.”
For a moment I truly considered telling him the truth. That his cousin wasn’t really his cousin but it was his cousin from the future. To hell with it. I wasn’t going anywhere, there was no reason for me to lie.
“You don’t have to understand. It’s hard to understand, I don’t even understand.” I took a shaky breath. “Thomas wasn’t really Thomas, he was... in a way possessed by Jack, who once a very long time ago was Thomas.” I stuttered on my words so awfully that I imagined he wouldn’t understand what I was talking about anyway.
I didn’t bother caring, what was the use? I’d always wanted to tell someone. Especially when their loved one wasn’t really dead. Except Jack was - for now at least.
It poured out of me in a messy tangle of words and snot. “And we were trying to give his life back, and I was trying to give my person’s life back. But we got captured and Jack died to save me, killing Thomas with him-”
“I know Nova. I know what you are.” Jamie held onto the bars of the cell and looked at me frantically. I blinked at him, my breath stuck in my throat. “Don’t ever reveal that to anyone again. It’s just it’s against the rules for me to say anything when you’re travelling unless you’re in trouble, but I just-”
“You’re a Reincarnation,” I realised. He looked at me from his cell and nodded numbly. “Twenty-three lives with Tom - Jack. And now two with you.”
I shook my head and wiped my eyes. “Is he dead in the future?”
“I can’t say if he’s dead or alive,” he replied sympathetically. “But hell to the rules. You’ll see him again, but in the past.”
I watched him momentarily. “What year?”
“It will be before this life, and I’ll be there.” He smiled sadly. “I’ll never get over the complicatedness of the past still having more to be done to it. The past is unfinished.”
“What does that mean?”
He shook his head. “You will see... Mary.” He held my face lightly and smiled sadly.
Mary? I’d been called Mary in a few lives, it was a common name but I couldn’t remember any specific life he might be talking about.
“Let’s not let Tom’s death be in vain,” he said finally.
I didn’t respond. We sat quietly each lost in our own thoughts of Jack. The only difference being I couldn’t remove his lifeless brown eyes and the sword sticking out of his heart. However, I imagined Jamie was thinking of a whole lot more than that, he was thinking of life from years ago.
CHAPTER 36
Time: 25th September 1661
Location: Unknown Prison
I’d fallen asleep with my fist clenched around the material of Jack’s cloak. I was curled up on the wet floor shivering and listening to another man's series of coughs echo down the halls. But I awoke with a start when there was a crank of metal. The door swung open and a Redcoat clutched at a fire torch. He held it in front of me and I welcomed the heat, turning my head towards it and sitting up on my elbows.
How long had I been asleep?
How much time had passed?
The man said something about me going somewhere but I didn’t catch the whole thing. Time to die I thought to myself, crawling onto my knees and pressing my hands to the ground to push my feet up. Before I stood I quickly placed the fabric in my shoe - I wanted it to be with me when I died - a part of Jack with me.
Jamie rushed to the bars and watched as the soldier took me by the elbow and shoved me out of the cell. Calm it, buddy, I was going. No need to be so rough.
I turned to face Jamie wondering why he wasn’t being taken before the soldier forced me up a spiral staircase and Jamie was out of sight. We went down an empty stone corridor that I couldn’t see the end of. There were no windows but I assumed it was night-time from the lack of soldiers patrolling the corridors.
My theory was proved to be right when he led me up another staircase and I passed the ground floor where moonlight lit the halls. I thought I would be taken out and hung but instead, he walked me up to a room at the top of the fort and knocked on the door. Another soldier opened it and made way for me to enter.
The door closed behind me and the soldier moved to the far end of the room. He picked up a dress, placed it on the back of a dining chair and walked over to me.
I was in a fair-sized room, surrounded by bookcases and a large fireplace between them. In the centre was a long dining table with a plate either side stacked high with food.
I wondered if this was some kind of torture technique they didn’t mention in history books.
“He requests that you wear this dress,” the soldier said, not meeting my eyes as he twisted a key into my shackles and let them drop to the floor. He swooped them up and left me standing next to the dress puzzled.
I rubbed my wrists, poking them, running my fingers over the pink-blistered skin and looked around the room. What was I supposed to do? I was too high up to escape through the window and besides what was the point anyway?
My plan was to die.
I was in a secure enough position for that wish to be happily granted.
I decided the most comfortable option for now was to climb into the deep red dress and out of the cold and disgusting clothes I’d worn for almost an entire month.
It felt strange putting such a beautiful dress on such a disgustingly dirty version of myself. My skin was coated in a thick layer of filth and my hair was wet and matted, my f
ace was stained with blood from nosebleeds... and blood that wasn’t my own.
Once done I looked at myself in a long mirror, my skin was deathly pale and the dress only made me look ten times whiter than I already was. The three quarter length sleeves and bows on the dress itched against my skin and I squirmed uncomfortably. Basically, I looked like a zombie bride.
I took it upon myself to use my old shirt as a cloth and the jug of water to clean my face - not caring about whoever would drink this later. When I looked back in the mirror and saw all parts of skin that were showing a little cleaner I felt a lot better about myself, more presentable: who I was presentable for, I didn’t know.
That was of course until the door opened and Tobias stepped in. I wasn’t surprised, but that didn’t stop the uncomfortable flip in my stomach when the face of Ace smiled at me: the face of the man who killed Jack. He took off his hat, threw his jacket onto the back of a chair at the far end of the table, sat down and picked up the cutlery.
He paused and waited for me expectantly. “Please, take a seat, Marion. You look beautiful, the dress compliments your body marvellously.”
I didn’t move, I held his eyes and wished I really were a witch so I could make him spontaneously combust. “I’m sure you’re hungry,” he stated.
I walked slowly to the other end of the table, dragging the chair out with care and sitting myself down calmly whilst inside every nerve of mine was screaming.
He began cutting his meat, chewing large mouthfuls and taking large sips of wine. I watched him cautiously.
“Eat,” he ordered through a mouthful. I looked at the food and back at him.
“How do I know it’s not poisoned?” I held my head up high, only faltering when he pulled out his chair after a moment of thought and walked to my end of the table. I froze, holding my breath and staring forward as he leant in on my right. He picked up the knife and fork either side of me, his arm brushed against my chest and he began cutting the chicken slowly. He held it to his mouth and began to eat. Once he’d demonstrated that with half the food on my plate he pulled away and put the knife and fork on the plate.
“Eat,” he repeated, walking back to the other end of the table. His boots were heavy on the floor and with every thump my heart sped up.
I began to eat despite my pride. I didn’t care that fatty grease was running down my chin or the gravy smudged against my cheeks and when he offered the wine I gulped it quickly, afraid it would all be taken away from me.
“Do you remember when we first met?” Tobias asked pleasantly. I looked up from the food and wiped my mouth with the napkin. I nodded my head slowly.
“You were running away from Redcoats. And yet here you are,” I replied.
He smiled tightly. “You called me Ace?”
I wished so badly for Ace to appear in Tobias’ mind and see me sat at the end of the table. He’d sigh with relief and have to convince me it was really him and he was going to help me get out of here, he’d take me to the well and then meet me home.
But that’s not how these things worked. Sometimes you wouldn’t be rescued by a knight in shining armour because they were already dead or hundreds of years into the future. Sometimes you had to be your own hero. But I was no hero - and I was not supposed to have a happy ending.
“How did you get here?” I responded, ignoring his question.
He looked agitated. “Tell me, Marion do you believe in fate? Is that something witches believe in? Do you believe in destiny?”
“That’s a rather deep question.” I narrowed my eyes because I actually liked that question. Surely I had some destiny? Surely it was Fate that had awoken Time Benders in the present now of all times. Surely we weren’t all a mistake? It would be a colossal mistake if so. But I could change fate apparently… Or maybe it was all Fate’s will that I was able to change the past.
Nothing is written in stone – it’s written in pencil O had told me.
I cleared my jumbled up thoughts and looked him in the eyes. “I believe our destinies are written in pencil - not stone.”
Ace’s eyes grew wide with a curiosity that didn’t fit the cruel sneer of Tobias’ face and I felt my shoulders relax as the surroundings of the past faded away and I was back on the balcony in the future with Ace, sharing our totems.
“I feel like I’m chasing after my fate, trying to keep up with it.” He leant forward in his chair with wide eyes. “Do you ever feel like that? Do you feel like you’re chasing the truth? Your destiny?”
My breath caught in my throat. “What?” I rasped.
“I feel like I’m being locked out of the truth,” Tobias replied hesitantly.
Did all of us from the past feel that way? I’d never heard one of us say that - feel that at all.
Was that how Marion was feeling now? Locked out of her own body? Hidden away from the truth? But Tobias hadn’t even been interfered with by Ace. I wish he had been.
“Why are you telling me this?” I asked.
“I want you to tell me the truth, I want you to tell me my destiny.” He smiled and I grimaced.
“I don’t know your destiny,” I replied, hardening my gaze on him. Liar. You know his destiny. You know everything about that boy because you had a stupid crush on him. Not anymore.
Tobias’ face turned into a sneer. “Tell me or you’ll be executed tomorrow.”
Boohoo. Die again? Bitch, please. I wasn’t scared of death; we were well acquainted. We sent each other Christmas cards.
“Fine, tell me more about yourself.” I cleared my throat and sat forward. “I can’t exactly tell you your future without knowing your past. How did you end up here?”
Yes tell me more about yourself, then maybe I could figure out your recurring theme. Maybe then I could figure out why you felt so lost. Heck if I was lucky maybe I could find out why you were an absolute sociopath in this life.
He narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know what brought me here. I needed to follow you for answers.”
“That’s not what I asked,” I snapped.
“You have answers and I need to know them.” He gripped the table.
“Yeah well, you have answers I need to know too,” I fired back. “Like how comes you have so much power?”
Tobias smiled. “Money is power, and I have money because of your husband… and the additional help from your father.”
“Why would they help you? A murderer.” I sat forward on my chair waiting for a reply.
“Well, you already know the answer to the Count. I suppose your father just wanted an ally. He knew I worked for your husband you see. Now, give me answers. Why did you call me Ace?”
“I was out of my mind. How did you end up so high in the ranking?”
“That would be telling. Why are you lying? You thought I was someone else.”
I slammed my fists on the table. “Why am I lying?” I repeated. “You handed me over to my father after drugging me. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was your idea to get the Count to drug me and you just killed Jack!” I snapped.
He finished his mouthful and wiped the corners of his mouth thoughtfully before standing.
“Jack is a puzzling one. I never understood why the Count admired him so much and you could never have imagined my surprise when I saw you draped over his back trying to escape.” He sipped his wine. “And then to find the Count’s body stuffed under his bed, naked and bloody. Yes, that was a tad bit of a surprise.”
He walked over to a cabinet beside me and I avoided turning and looking at him as he unlocked a top drawer.
After a moment he asked in a dark voice. “Did you love him?”
“The Count?”
“Jack. Did you love him?”
I didn’t reply. The fabric of his cloak throbbed against the ball of my foot, tucked in the straggled shoe that was concealed by the length of the deep red dress.
I put the napkin on the table, sliding a knife between the folds of my dress and pushed the chair out from beneath me as I stood
. I turned suddenly to leave but Tobias walked into me. I swallowed tightly and stared as his chest moved up and down. “I’d like to be returned to my cell now.”
His hand came out from behind him and he placed a parcel of something on the table.
“Did you love him?” he asked slowly.
I looked at the folded up cloth feeling the air catch in my throat. “What do you want me to say?” I gasped for air.
Tobias placed two hands on my shoulders. “I want you to answer my question.”
“Yes okay, I loved him,” I snapped, closing my eyes tightly and flinching when he slammed his fist to the table. I felt him breathe deeply against the back of my chair before he suddenly continued.
“I thought it would have been excellent to serve it on your plate but that would be too cruel even for me.”
My eyes focused on the package on the table and I didn’t flinch as Tobias’ hand came up and tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. It moved down my neck like a trail of fire and rested on top of my chest, slipping between the folds of my dress and still my eyes didn’t move from what was on the table.
He was disgustingly cruel.
“Sit down.” I couldn’t move. He had to physically push me back onto my chair, sliding it under the table as my eyes fixated back on the package.
The truth was I didn’t know what love was. I did not know if I loved Jack, if it were possible to love your enemy - your prey. But I wanted to believe I was capable of such a thing, even if he hadn’t felt the same way for me. Whatever it was - it was strong and it consumed me.
But this - this emotion whilst looking at the package on the table, it overwhelmed what I might call love. It was a whole new emotion so fierce that hatred burnt at the back of my throat. Tobias moved around me, before finally settling behind my chair, his hand coming round either side and stroking my hair, and yet still I couldn’t move.
I hated him.
His lips moved up the side of my neck pressing cold kisses before finally pressing against my ear as he whispered, “open it.”
NOVA: The Time Bender Series Book 1 Page 26