She spun on her heel and stalked away, her feet all but soundless on the carpet.
Tears burned her eyes as she stormed away from Dean’s house, but she blinked them back. She blinked them back as she climbed into her car, as she started it and as she drove off with a squeal of her tires. She held them back all the way through town, even though they burned in her eyes like alcohol thrown on an open wound.
It wasn’t until she pulled into the driveway to her best friend’s house that she finally let the tears fall.
* * * * *
The door flew open just as Brian Lasher was on his way out. He ended up with his arms full of a teary-eyed Jaynie. That in itself was enough of an oddity to have him forget what he was doing. He tightened his hands on her arms when she tried to pull back. “Hey, kid, what’s wrong?”
Jaynie jerked against him and muttered, “Leave me alone. Where is Kate?”
At the mention of her name, Kate came floating through the arched doorway that led to the living room. His sister looked like a Barbie doll, wearing a pink dress that, in Brian’s opinion, was about four inches too short and even though it was a Wednesday night and she had no plans, she had her hair and makeup done to a T.
She had a smile on her face but it faded when she saw Jaynie. “What’s wrong?”
A sob escaped Jaynie’s lips and Brian looked helplessly at his sister. “I don’t know.”
Jaynie pulled away and rushed for Kate. Kate gave him a dismissing look. “Come on, sweetie…”
He started to follow but heard a familiar little tune and glanced outside the open front door. Jaynie’s cell phone was lying on the porch. She must have dropped it. The little light was flashing and the phone was playing “Hotel California”. He stooped and picked it up. He didn’t know the number displayed, though he recognized the name.
Dean Albridge.
Jaynie’s fiancé. Brian grimaced but flipped the phone open. “Hello?”
There was a pause and then Dean asked, “Brian?”
“Yeah.”
“Ahhh…is Jaynie over there?”
Brian wasn’t sure why he did it, but instead of telling the truth, he lied. “No. She was over earlier with Kate and must have forgotten her phone here. You tried her house or the office?”
The office was the small veterinarian clinic located on Highway 59 a little north of Gulf Shores. She’d started working there in high school and had continued to work there during the summers after Brian bought it from the previous owner. Three years ago she had bought into the small practice and now she was Brian’s partner instead of his employee.
Jaynie was a damn good vet. She spent most of her time with the animals, which was how she liked it. Jaynie had little use for most people, so Brian couldn’t understand why she was still so crazy over somebody like Dean Albridge. He’d been the stereotypical high school jock, with the exception of having Jaynie as his girlfriend instead of the prom queen.
It was the man’s only redeeming quality, in Brian’s opinion.
“Yeah, checked both places. No answer at home and nobody answered when I called the private line at the office.”
From the living room, he could hear Kate’s voice rising and he edged a little farther outside and shut the door. “Can’t help you, man. If I see her, you want me to tell her you’re looking for her?”
“No—wait. Yeah, tell her I’m looking for her. I really need to speak with her. It’s important.”
The line went dead and Brian looked at the phone and then turned it off. Whatever was going on with Jaynie had something to do with Dean. Brian didn’t know what, and frankly, he didn’t give a damn. But the bastard had made Jaynie cry and Brian could count on one hand how often he’d seen that.
He started to go back inside, but instead, he left. Whatever had Jaynie so upset was something Kate could handle. The two girls had been best friends practically from the crib. Kate could handle crying.
Brian, though—crying made him feel pretty useless. Especially coming from Jaynie. She was Kate’s best friend, but she was Brian’s friend too. They had spent plenty of weekends fishing out on Wolf Bay and diving out in the Gulf. She was practically one of the guys and Brian was pretty sure that he’d be equally as uncomfortable if one of the guys had shown up at his doorstep crying.
Granted, he wasn’t so sure he’d be tempted to punch somebody’s lights out for making one of them cry.
* * * * *
A pint of Häagen-Dazs and two margaritas later, Jaynie fell asleep on Kate’s couch. The doorbell probably wouldn’t have fazed her if her bladder hadn’t started to intrude on her alcohol-induced sleep. She had to pee, though, and she was about ready to roll off the couch to do it when she heard him.
Dean’s voice. Kate’s voice intruded and Jaynie had to grin despite herself when Kate said, “If you take so much as one more step into my house, Dean Albridge, I will call the police. Do you understand me?”
Both of them had been born in Alabama but Jaynie couldn’t quite manage the genteel Southern lady act. It was second nature to Kate, though. Under that soft feminine exterior, Kate was made of pure steel and Jaynie knew she wasn’t just bluffing about calling the cops.
“Look, Kathryn, I just need to speak with her.”
“No,” Kate replied icily. “You don’t. If she wants to speak to you and I can’t manage to talk her out of it, then Jaynie knows where to find you. But you are not talking to her here, and not tonight.”
Dean’s voice got a little edgy. “You don’t even want to hear my side.”
Side? Jaynie thought, a little astounded. Her dismay was echoed by Kate as her friend demanded, “You have a side? She walked in on you and that jerk-off friend having a threesome with the bitch across the street. What side? You two have been together since high school. What in hell were you thinking?”
Then Dean responded and Jaynie wished she could just disappear into the ground and never be seen or heard from again. “I was thinking I needed something a little different. Needed some fun. At least Kit isn’t afraid to be a woman. Shit, I hardly know what it’s like being with somebody who knows how to do something with her hair besides shove inside a hat or wear it in a ponytail. Somebody who realized that just because you work with animals all day doesn’t mean you have to walk around looking like you fell asleep with them.”
The knife of pain pierced her heart and the sob escaped her before she could stop it. It was drowned out by the sound of Kate slapping Dean.
Dean snarled, “You little bitch—”
Jaynie rolled off the couch and knuckled her tears away before she stormed out of the living room. “Call her a bitch again, Dean. See what happens.” She shoved the pain away in favor of the anger. Anger was so much easier to handle.
Dean looked at her and relief crossed his features, as though he hadn’t thought he’d actually see her. Then he flushed red and she knew he was wondering just how much she’d heard. “Jaynie—”
She curled her lip at him. “Get the hell out of here, Dean. I don’t want to talk to you.”
In a frustrated voice, Dean said, “I’m not leaving until we talk.”
Kate gave him a sugar-sweet smile. “Yes, you are, unless you want to see if I’m joking about calling the police.”
He rounded on Kate and snarled, “Would you shut the fuck up? This doesn’t concern you.”
Jaynie held up a hand when Kate would have responded. “No, Katie. This is mine. Don’t talk to my best friend like that. Ever. And don’t think it doesn’t concern her. I came here, didn’t I?”
Dean started toward her and Kate glanced at the phone on the small table in the hallway. A small smile curled her lips and the look on her face was familiar to Jaynie. Come on—just give me a reason. He gave Kate an ugly look.
Jaynie didn’t know why she hadn’t seen it sooner. But she saw it then. Dean didn’t like Kate. At all. Kate wasn’t overly fond of Dean but Jaynie hadn’t realized it was a two-way street. It was obvious that he wanted to come
farther inside. Very obvious, but he stayed where he was. He might not like Kate but he knew she meant what she said.
He pointedly looked away from Kate and focused on Jaynie, giving her that boyish grin she’d always loved. “Jaynie, we need to talk.”
Jaynie shrugged. “I don’t see why.” She glanced down then and realized she was still wearing his ring. The princess-cut diamond was a full carat. It had seemed a little big to her but she only took it off for surgeries in the clinic and when she was showering. Slowly she tugged it off. There was a narrow strip of paler skin and Jaynie wiggled her fingers, disturbed at how light, how strange her hand felt. “Except this. Here’s your ring back, Dean. Now get the hell out.”
She hurled it at him and he caught it just before it would have hit him in the face. She should have thrown it a little harder—maybe she could have put his eye out with the damn thing.
“Jaynie…” Dean said, his voice husky and soft. He did it on purpose. Dean knew how much she loved his voice, how much she loved for him to say her name just like that. Most of the time, when he said her name that way, she was ready to strip to the skin and do pretty much whatever he wanted.
Well, almost everything.
Now though, all she wanted to do was hit him. In a cool voice she said, “It’s time for you to go, Dean.”
Whatever tenuous control he had on his temper snapped and he glared at her, his face flushed and his eyes glinting with fury. “The only time you know how to be a woman is when you’re naked in my bed. Did it ever once occur to you that I’d like somebody who could be a woman out of bed as well as in it?”
Jaynie glanced down at her chest and then up at him. “I didn’t realize I took my tits off when I got out of bed, Dean. I am a woman. I never acted otherwise.”
His derisive snort cut almost as deeply as his words. No, Jaynie wasn’t big on messing with her hair and she had better things to do than put on makeup when she’d sweat it off within an hour. But she was a woman. She liked pretty things, she liked being female and she’d thought he loved her the way she was.
“Jaynie, you wouldn’t know how to be a real woman if your life depended on it. Shit, ever since college, you’re so uptight, it’s amazing you can fuck without freezing up.”
Oh. Oh shit. Now that hurt. Was she a little messed up from what could have happened? Would have happened if Brian and Dean hadn’t been there?
Blinking back the tears, she stared at him, absolutely miserable. Kate looked at her, and distantly Jaynie saw how pissed Kate was on her behalf. She only wished she could be pissed as well, instead of hurt.
“You son of a bitch,” Kate snarled. “You arrogant ass.”
“Stay out of this, bitch,” Dean snapped.
Jaynie crossed the distance between them in two long strides. She was reeling from the pain and when he turned on Kate again, the anger swelled inside her like a lifesaver. She grabbed on to it as though it would keep her from drowning. Striking out, Jaynie caught him square on the jaw. Pain jolted up from her hand and she relished every second of it. “I warned you, Dean.”
“Now, Jaynie, why in the hell did you go and do that?” Brian’s deep voice interrupted them and they turned as one to watch as he stepped through the open door. “I wanted to do it.”
Brian Lasher stood there, his thumbs hooked in his belt loops. He had on a worn T-shirt with a faded Lulu’s logo emblazoned on it. The muscles in his wide chest strained against the thin cotton and barely visible under the neckline was a leather cord. There was a shark tooth on it. He’d found it the last time he’d gone to the beach with his folks before his dad was killed when he was eight. He didn’t much look like a knight in shining armor with his too-long hair, threadbare clothes and a mean, nasty smile on his rugged face.
But there was little doubt in anybody’s mind that Brian would just punch Dean. No, he’d knock the other man on the ground and enjoy every second of it. Jaynie smirked as the fantasy played out in her mind—Dean lying bloody and bruised on the ground. But Jaynie would enjoy it more if she was the one laying him out.
Dean rubbed his jaw and she saw, with pride, that his cheek was already a deep purplish-red. He was going to bruise. Mr. GQ was going to love that.
“Can I hit him once?” Brian asked. His voice had a playful little lilt to it and he had a smile on his face, as if the whole tableau was highly entertaining, but the look of icy rage in his eyes was anything but amused.
Kate moved to hook her arm through Jaynie’s. “I don’t know, Bri. Should my big brother punch him for us? Maybe twice. One for you and one for calling me a bitch.”
Suddenly, Jaynie was exhausted. She wished she could find some pleasure at the nervous look in Dean’s eyes but she just couldn’t. She was too damn tired. “I don’t care what Brian does. I just want to get some rest.”
Immediately, Kate turned into a mother hen, stroking Jaynie’s arm and murmuring to her. “Of course you do,” Kate murmured. “Poor baby. Come on, I’m going to put you to bed in the guestroom.”
It was too much temptation to resist, finding oblivion in a soft bed in a dark room where she could pull the blankets over her head and just sleep.
CHAPTER TWO
You wouldn’t know how to be a real woman if your life depended on it.
Those hateful words were still circling through her head a week later. The first few days, Dean had called several times. She wasn’t sure why he might be calling. At least not until a delivery guy showed up at the office and tried to deliver flowers.
Although the messages were full of apologies and “I love yous”, she was pretty much convinced he didn’t even understand the concept of love. What Dean liked was consistency. Jaynie had been a constant in his life and for all Dean’s spouting off about needing something different, Jaynie suspected he’d miss having a woman in the house more than anything.
Today marked one week since she had walked in on her fiancé and the memories were still so painfully vivid that Jaynie wished she could just burn them out of her brain.
She stood naked in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at her reflection. Jaynie had been wearing a 34C bra in seventh grade. By high school, she’d been in a D cup which had been a tomboy’s worst nightmare. If it hadn’t been for some seriously good sport bras, she never would have been able to play basketball or run track.
Jaynie still ran two or three miles almost every day. Between the running and her Tae Kwon Do classes, her legs were still as sleekly muscled and lean as they had been in high school. All the weekends she spent swimming or fishing had left her hair sun-streaked and her skin a soft golden tan.
She didn’t look bad. Granted, Jaynie generally paid her body very little attention. She was strong, she was healthy and that was about all she cared about. She’d never seen a reason to care beyond that. Kate tortured herself to stay sexy, slender and sleek, getting bikini waxes, eyebrow waxes, highlight jobs and she went broke shopping. Granted, Kate enjoyed the shopping and all the girly crap, there was no doubt about it. But it all seemed useless to Jaynie. She’d had a man who loved her, right? Why bother?
But the past seven days had been an eye-opening experience as she had relived every last moment of watching Dean in bed with another woman, and relived the words he’d spoken to her that night.
You wouldn’t know how to be a real woman if your life depended on it.
You’re so uptight, it’s amazing you can fuck without freezing up.
She wasn’t sure which hurt more.
“I’m not uptight,” she murmured to her reflection, and, though she wanted to believe that, and a few days ago, she never would have believed it, right now, she was all but drowning in self doubt.
She still liked sex. Hell, she loved it. And it wasn’t that she didn’t like playing around. Granted, Dean hadn’t seemed too interested in playing much of anything lately.
Of course, that obviously had something to do with her.
You wouldn’t know how to be a real woman if your life dep
ended on it.
Staring at her reflection, she swore softly. “Damn it.” Damn Dean. Straight to hell.
Slowly, Jaynie gathered all of her hair in her hand and started to twist it, pulling it up off her neck. She was still staying with Kate and Brian. She hadn’t even started to look for her own place. Brian and Kate had gone with her three days ago to help her pack up all of her things. Every last box, every last book, was stowed down in the Lashers’ basement.
The guest bathroom, like nearly every other room in the house, held a ton of Kate’s stuff. Hairclips, dangly earrings, little bottles of lotion and perfume. Opening the drawer, she dug out a clip and secured it in her hair. It took three tries before she finally got to where it didn’t feel like it would fall down the first time she shook her head.
It looked a little different, she supposed. Some of her hair was spilling out and it had a softer look than it did when she wore it in a ponytail. Curious, she looked into the drawer and saw a couple of spare tubes of lipstick, mascara, blush and all the other stuff she never messed with. Jaynie could count on one hand how many times she’d willingly put on makeup and every single time it had been for some goofy formal dance, either in high school or in college.
She opened one tube of lipstick and the bright fuchsia color had her shaking her head. Kate could wear that color and wear it well, but Jaynie wasn’t even going to try. The next one was a little more doable. It was a soft peachy-coral color and though it looked pretty going on, Jaynie stood there staring at her mouth and feeling…
Fake.
Makeup wasn’t her. Fiddling with her hair and stressing over what to wear—it just wasn’t her.
The door opened and, as a rush of cool air flooded the room, Jaynie turned, startled. A blush stained her face a painful red as she looked at Brian. She stood there frozen and he stood there looking dazed. His weird turquoise eyes darkened and his gaze slid down from her face to her chest and then, farther down. She could practically feel the path his gaze took as he looked her over from head to toe. The dazed looked faded, replaced quickly by heat and that hungry look was enough to unfreeze her. She grabbed a towel from the hook by the shower.
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