I follow her, joining my friends.
. . .
We’re all getting new outfits for tonight. They all find what they want right away, then they band together on a mission to find me the outfit. I’m not exactly sure what the outfit even is. Tamitha said when I try it on, I’ll know it’s the perfect one. And she said that when MJ sees it later, it’ll make him go stupid for me. I don’t really want him to “go stupid.” I don’t know what that even means, but I’m curious.
I feel silly modeling each dress as they sit in a line outside the dressing rooms. Amber’s disinterested with everything. Kayla and Maggie seem to disagree about each outfit I try. Sissy says she likes everything, though I think she’s just trying to be nice.
The reactions I pay the most attention to are Kelli’s, Tamitha’s, and Hannah’s. They’ve been the most animated. Kelli makes catcalls. I’m sure I’m the color of a boiled lobster.
I’ve been a little self-conscious about my scars from this morning and how much each dress shows. No one has commented on them, even though I know they must have seen them. Are they being compelled not to notice them? Probably.
As I walk out to show everyone the latest outfit, the chatter stops. The silence makes Amber look up from her phone. I’m wearing a white-lace knee-length dress with a heart-shaped top. The skirt whooshes and fans out when I spin. It’s perfect for dancing.
One by one, my friends smile. Amber even cracks a smile for a second. I smile too. They like it. I like it.
There’s just one problem.
“I’m not sure what shoes I should wear . . .”
“Oh!” Tamitha says, jumping up. “I’ve already got that covered.” She reaches behind the bench and grabs a backpack I hadn’t noticed her carrying around before. She pulls out—my cowgirl boots.
Amber makes a disgusted noise and goes back to her phone.
I grab the boots from Tamitha. Tucked inside is a pair of my socks too.
She thinks of everything.
I slip on the socks and boots and stand in front of the full-length mirror. I twist and turn, trying to see from all angles. I think this is the one.
My smile widens, thinking of MJ’s reaction. I hope he’ll like it. He went through so much trouble for me today.
My smile falls.
Trouble he shouldn’t have gone through. Girls are dying for me. And here I am getting ready for a date with a man who might be the only being who could save them.
I turn away, disgusted with myself. I open my mouth to tell everyone tonight is off, but I stop when I see the joy on Hannah’s and my friends’ faces.
Within the last week, I’ve almost lost them more times than I care to think about. It’s very possible I could still lose them before my birthday next week. But they don’t know that. They can never know that. They deserve to be happy, just as they are right now. I need this moment with them to carry me through whatever comes next.
I take a deep breath, bury my emotions, and force a smile.
. . .
I’m the last in line at the checkout counter. The sales clerk carefully packs the dress, then slides the bag to me without ringing me up.
“How much?” I ask.
Once I knew this was the outfit, I never even looked at the price tag. Now I chew my lip as I grab the emergency credit card from my purse. I’m supposed to use it only if something happens when Mom and Dad are gone.
The clerk just smiles. “Everything has been taken care of. Have a lovely day, Ms. Page.”
I shake my head in confusion. “But I still need to pay.”
Tamitha grabs my bag in one hand and my wrist in the other. “No, you don’t. MJ took care of it—for everyone. Come on now. We’re on a schedule.”
I let her pull me along in the mall, but I’m lost in the thought of MJ buying all our clothes. Does he even have money? Or did he compel the woman to just write it all off?
My brooding stops when Kelli squeezes my arm while jumping up and down next to me. I follow her gaze to see not only that we are about to enter a beauty salon but that my mom is here too, smiling at me.
“What are you doing here?” I ask in a daze as Mom wraps her arms around me.
She pulls back, and tears pool in her eyes. “And miss you getting ready for your date? Not a chance.”
Tears spring to my eyes as well. She’s here. For me. Even though I know how busy she is. I want to hug her and tell her I love her, but I can’t. It’s too soon. Doing that could bring the Perfugae. I can’t risk ruining this night. Not for my friends. Not for MJ. And not for me. MJ did all this for a reason. He knew I needed them.
I can’t tell my mom, or my friends, how I feel about them yet. But maybe today can be the first step toward repairing our relationships. Maybe today I can start to heal.
. . .
We’re all deposited in chairs for pedicures. Mom takes a seat beside me, while Kelli takes the other. Even though I think it’s ridiculous to get a pedicure—my cowgirl boots will hide it anyway—I don’t say anything. I’m still too stunned at MJ’s surprise of inviting my mom.
As my pedicure begins, my chair comes to life, giving me a massage. It digs into knots in my neck, back, and even my butt. I sigh as some of my tension evaporates.
Mom grabs my hand. “Are you nervous for tonight?”
“Yes,” I reply in all honesty.
Her other hand pats the top of our linked hands. “I was too on my first date with your father. I know this isn’t your first date with MJ, but still. It’s a big night.”
I sit up. “Really? You were nervous when dating Dad?”
She nods. “I couldn’t eat all day. I tried on every outfit in my closet as well your aunt Deb’s, trying to find the outfit.”
I smile a little, realizing the outfit is a universal connection all girls and women have had for years.
“By the time I was ready, he’d been waiting downstairs with your grandfather for almost an hour.”
I smile a lot at this, thinking about Grandpa and the hell he would have put Dad through. I’m glad MJ isn’t going through that tonight with Dad. He’s been through more than his fair share with Duane already.
My stomach rolls, thinking about Duane. It’s yet another part of my life that’s more surreal than real. Everything has changed.
“Where did you guys go?” I ask, distracting myself.
“Roller skating.”
“Really?”
“Yes. I liked to roller skate, and your father knew that. Your great-aunt Jeanne—the one who played roller derby—taught me. On our date, I made several laps around the rink before noticing your father clinging to the wall. He’s a very talented musician, but skating is not his forte.”
“So why did he do it?”
“He was so nervous, he chose the first thing he knew I’d like.”
“Huh.” I sit back with my head swimming. Dad is always so calm and confident. Hearing he was nervous about dating Mom gives me hope.
“So tell me about MJ,” Mom says.
I smile. “He’s—”
“Perfect,” Kelli says.
“And hot,” Kayla and Maggie add.
“Have you kissed him?” Mom asks.
I can feel my cheeks heating. Part of me wants to say, who doesn’t know we kissed? The evidence is burned into Hiniker Bridge. Instead I opt for a simple, “Yes.”
“So . . . tell me about it. Is he a good kisser?”
“Mom!”
“I’ve seen them kiss, Mrs. Page,” Tamitha says, sitting several seats away.
I whip around to her.
“He’s so good I can feel the heat of it.” She winks at me, and my jaw drops.
“Really?” Mom asks, suddenly sounding concerned.
“She’s kidding, Mom,” I cut in. “We’ve kissed only a few times—and that’s all we’re going to do.”
“I’m glad you’re happy, honey. He seems really great”—her smile is tighter now—“but this is pretty fast for you. You’re so diffe
rent with him.”
It is fast, in some ways. But in other ways, it feels just right. I don’t want to voice that, though. It wouldn’t make sense to Mom or anyone. It barely makes sense to me. I just . . . feel it.
“Seriously, Mom,” Hannah says when I haven’t replied. “He’s her person.”
I look back and forth between my mom and sister, trying to figure out what that means. “What?”
My mother’s smile grows into a sheepish grin, and she sits back, content.
“What?” I repeat.
Everyone else mimics my mother’s grin of silence and rests back into their chairs. Apparently, they all get it.
I lean back too. It’s not exactly easy to describe MJ. He’s just everything I didn’t know I needed. I guess that’s what they mean.
Manicures follow the pedicures, then we’re taken to salon chairs to have our hair and makeup done. The stylist doesn’t ask me about a style. She just rambles on about dating advice as she works on my hair and touches up my makeup.
Eventually I just tune everything out and keep my eyes shut. Between the dress, nails, makeup, and now hair, I’ll be a different person. I don’t want to see another different version of me. I don’t want to think about the remaining targets—especially when Amber is sitting five chairs away from me.
“Finished,” the stylist sings.
I don’t look in the mirror yet, but I know I have to. My stomach flips over as I roll my eyes up and finally lift my gaze.
Chapter Fifty-One
MJ
“Relax, MJ. She’ll be here in two minutes,” Alexander says.
We’re standing outside the restaurant door, and he’s making faces at the statue of a bear next to us. I roll my eyes.
Tamitha and Sissy have been giving me reports every fifteen minutes during their trip to the mall. Even though Maddy needed this time to reconnect with her friends and family, it’s been torture leaving her again.
I’ve planned out every detail to ensure she’d be safe at the mall and here at the restaurant tonight. Even though I want tonight to be about healing and reconnecting, focused on us and having fun, I can’t forget she’s always in danger. The more variables I can eliminate, the safer she’ll be from the forces targeting her.
It’s because of them—the many demons, the Acquisitioner, and Damien and the unknown dream woman—that I no longer harbor any unease about using the instruments John created to destroy them. The next time something comes after her, that being will serve as an example to all others. She’s off limits.
Tires crunch in the parking lot. There are other restaurants in town—we will eventually have dates there too—but Kodiak’s is special. It’s where we first ate together and I tasted food for the first time since dying. But most importantly, it’s where I learned her name. I rented the whole restaurant just for our private group tonight.
“They’re here!” Jake calls out.
Thanks to the second limo I rented especially for them, Maddy’s guy friends are all here—even Tom, whom I brought to keep Amber civil. We’re all wearing dress shirts, ties, and pants.
I stop my pacing and watch the Hummer limo pull up alongside us. The driver opens the door, and the girls climb out. Maddy’s last.
Just as it did the first time I saw her, the world stops. I close the space between us. Her gorgeous emerald eyes stare up at me from underneath long lashes. I’m lost in her. My fingers run through her soft hair. The last of it falls from my fingertips, then I run my hands along the white lace of the short sleeves on her dress.
A moan slides up my throat, and I close my eyes, fighting the urge to kiss her. I don’t know if I can contain myself right now, and there are too many witnesses.
When my eyes open and I see the shy smile on her pink lips that matches the glow on her cheeks, a twinge in my chest rattles through me as my heart beats twice.
Father, I love her. I want to tell her how beautiful she looks and how much I missed her, even though it was only a few hours. But all I can manage is one word.
“Hi.”
“Hey.”
“You look . . .”
“You too.”
“Are you two always this articulate?” Amber asks behind us. Her annoying voice and even more infuriating thoughts break the spell.
Still desperate for some contact with Maddy, I kiss her forehead and breathe in as much of her as possible.
She presses her body against me, and I wrap my arms around her. Confirming she’s safe and whole smashes the sensation of foreboding I’ve felt since our fight last night. We’re going to be fine. We’re together, and absolutely nothing or no one can stop that.
If anything even dares to try, Alexander and I are ready. Our many weapons are concealed in the Veil of Shadows.
With a great effort, I end our embrace and offer her my arm. “Shall we?”
She slides her arm through mine. “Yes.”
. . .
I sit beside her at a table surrounded by her friends, my friends—our friends. The others laugh and talk animatedly about school, shows, sports, and various other topics, but I don’t pay attention. I’m caught up in watching her. The longer we stay here, the more she allows herself to be happy. She doesn’t have to force herself to smile or laugh at the appropriate times; it just comes naturally.
Are you okay? Tamitha speaks privately inside my mind.
I turn and meet her gaze. Yes. Taking a break from it all and having a special night like this is exactly what she needed.
Good, she says. Now stop hovering, stop worrying, and enjoy yourself too. This night is as much for you as it is for her. We’re supposed to be the Protectors for the night. You just focus on being a man in love.
I smile, then kiss Maddy’s hair.
Maddy turns, and those dazzling emerald eyes hit me and take my breath away.
“Thank you for today,” she says. “I know you put a lot of thought into everything, and I . . . just thank you.”
“You’re worth it, minn hvatvetna.”
A loud smack suddenly hits the table, and we jolt toward the noise. Kelli’s hand is on the table as she glares at us.
“All right, Norway. Spill it,” she snaps. “What does that mean? What do you keep calling her?”
The light in Kelli’s eyes says she’s not really angry. I can hear her thoughts too. She’s curious about the name and protective of Maddy. She wants to believe I’m Maddy’s knight in shining armor and our love is real and everlasting. Gazing at the others gathered around us, I realize that’s what they’re all hoping. Except Tom. He’s hoping I fail miserably so he can have his turn.
“It’s a term of endearment from my home country. It means, ‘my everything.’”
Chapter Fifty-Two
Maddy
My everything.
My friends swoon, but I’m too caught up in MJ to care. I knew his nickname for me was something special from his heart, but I had no idea what it meant. Now I do, and it’s my new favorite phrase in the world. No two words have ever made me feel so special, warm, and loved.
I am loved by him. No matter what I’ve learned about myself, no matter what I have or have not expressed to him, no matter what the world throws in our way at every turn . . . he loves me.
My heart swells, and I caress his smooth cheek. I hear a soft moan from him again as he relaxes into my touch. Butterflies rise to my throat. I can’t speak.
If I could, I would tell him how wonderful he makes me feel and how nothing will ever come between us again. I want to let go of everything and tell him who I am. I want to say the words I’ve only ever said to my sister. I love you. But the butterflies won’t budge. I can only hold him and hope my eyes convey everything in my heart.
. . .
After dinner, we pile into one limo. It’s a little crowded, but I’m glad we’re taking one—I don’t want to choose between MJ and any of my friends. I don’t want to break this amazing circle of love, friendship, and support we’ve all built tonight.
I’ve missed hanging out with my friends like this. I shouldn’t have stopped. Things would have been different if I hadn’t pulled away. But right now, I have a great life full of amazing people—my friends, my family, MJ, and his team. I don’t want to lose any of it.
My heart feels full tonight.
I’ve found my new favorite position: sitting on his lap with my head on his shoulder. His essence constantly flows between us, not lingering anywhere, because there’s no place it needs to focus on and fix. I don’t feel any pain, even though the marks of Justin’s death are still on my body.
My thoughts hover on Justin. As crazy as it sounds, I’m grateful the masked demon showed me that vision. At one point in his life, Justin wasn’t evil. Maybe there’s still hope for him? And if so, maybe there’s still hope for me.
The limo stops, and the doors open. He and I stay seated as everyone else climbs out. I think MJ doesn’t want to stop being this connected to me. I’m more than happy for the added time. Alone.
“Tonight has been one of the best nights of my life, MJ.”
He kisses my temple, sending even more of his essence into me, strengthening the protective coating his kisses always create. “It isn’t over yet. Come on.”
He leads me outside, where our friends are waiting for us. Behind them is a small building with a neon sign flashing the name of the band playing inside. It’s Dad’s band. Not only has MJ surrounded me with my friends and family all day, but he brought us all to see my father play. This is perfect.
Almost perfect, that is.
“MJ, we can’t go in there. That’s a bar. We’re not twenty-one.”
“It doesn’t matter tonight. I’ve taken care of it.”
I’m pretty sure I know what that means, but I’m so excited about seeing Dad and his band, I let it slide for now.
MJ and I pass through a cloud of cigarette smoke from the few people lingering just outside the door. Inside, the bass from the speakers beside us pulsates through my body while we wait in line. The bouncer nods at MJ and waves us all through without checking our IDs.
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