by B. Wulf
“You're such a muppet Fletch. I bet, secretly you've read Pride and Prejudice like twenty times.”
“You can start calling me Mister Darcy if you want.”
“Nah, I like Fletch better. Let's go grab something to eat. I have a craving for pizza.”
***
We found a gourmet pizza shop called Mama Mia’s, a few blocks down from the CANA head office.
“I’ll pay,” I said as we reached the front of the line.
“Nah, it’s fine Fletch. We’re interns. You can barely afford one pizza.”
“We can share a large one,” I said.
Kate pouted her lips in thought.
“Okay, deal and I’ll buy drinks.”
After getting our pizza we found a seat in the back corner. The restaurant was dimly lit, possibly to hide the dirt. It was nice though. Checkered tablecloths and local art on the walls, it was romantic. Well I hoped it was romantic. I did notice, however, that we were being tailed again. I had to remember to ask Sasha about that. It was a tad disconcerting.
“So,” said Kate. Stringy mozzarella cheese was hanging out of her mouth. “I don’t think there is anyway to eat pizza daintily,” she laughed.
I smiled, “At least you found a way to eat it cutely.”
“Cutely?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.
“It’s the best I could come up with.”
“Bit cheesy ain’t it?”
I shook my head, in mock disgust. “At least I’m not pulling out puns like that. And I thought girls like cheesy anyway.”
“Oh some do. But it more depends on who says it.” She paused to take a drink. “So, Fletcher James Harris, where are you from?”
“Well New Zealand, but you knew…”
“Yes that’s why you have that cute little accent of yours.”
“How can an accent be little?” I asked.
“Anything that is cute is automatically little as well. It’s just a fact.”
“So am I little?” I asked.
She laughed. “Well...”
I shrugged. “You’ve lost me.”
“Sure I have Fletch. So come on, where are you from?”
“Um, I’m from New Zealand?”
“And?”
“Well, I grew up on a dairy farm outside of Otorohanga…”
“That’s so kiwi!” she interrupted. She said Kiwi as Keewee, stretching the vowel sounds like a medieval torturer.
“Yes, and I was wearing gumboots before I could walk and shearing sheep before I could talk.”
“Oh right,” she said, “Just like all Kiwis aye?”
“Exactly,” I said, “But we left the farm when my dad got arthritis and moved to Hamilton. My parents bought a furniture shop, which I worked in a bit. From there I went to university and yeah. I have lived an exceptionally boring life.”
“A boring life is just another way of saying a stable life,” said Kate, “I bet you wish your life was a little more boring now.”
“That is so true. No more mad scientists to worry about.”
“Hey, that’s my great uncle you’re talking about.”
“Sorry,” I replied quickly, “Just joking.”
“I know,” she said with a smile, “so was I.”
“He’s not your great uncle then?”
“No,” she rolled her eyes, “I was joking about being offended. Sometimes I wonder about you Fletch. You’re like a kid. Oblivious.”
I smiled and shrugged my shoulders. “I can’t stand kids. So tell me about you? Where are your parents?”
Kate seemed to become smaller. It may have been her posture changing.
“I don’t know,” she said, “They both left when I was little.”
“Left?” I asked, “Like, abandoned you?”
“No, they just had to leave.”
“Why? Then where did they go?”
“I dunno,” she shrugged her shoulders, “I guess it depends what religion your from.”
“Oh,” I said, mentally kicking myself, “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what? I hate it when people say that. How could it possibly be your fault?”
I didn’t know what to say.
“I’m not angry by the way,” she added.
“I meant I’m sorry for you.”
“Well I don’t want pity. I don’t even remember them anyway. They went in a plane crash.”
I nodded and kept my mouth shut.
“My grandparents raised me.”
“So your dad’s parents?” I asked.
“Yeah, Sasha is the only one left on my Mum’s side of the family. And Cole I guess. But he isn’t a blood relative.”
I nodded again.
“Let’s go see a movie,” she said, “A comedy, maybe even something romantic.”
She winked at me.
“I am so keen,” I said standing up and offering her my hand, “Shall we walk hand in hand through the streets of Georgetown?”
“I do think we shall.”
I was still amazed that she was talking to me and would even hold my hand. It was a good, good day. With one hand holding my cane and the other holding Kate. It was a good, good day.
***
Well it was a good, good day, until we decided to take a shortcut down a dark alley. To be honest, I was not even surprised when a shadowy stranger approached us.
The stranger approached us ominously, and ominously is never a good way to be approached. As the stranger drew closer, I realized that it was our tag along, who had been following us lately. Thinking without my brain, I pushed Kate behind me and drew back my cane like I was about to hit a home run for the… I’m from New Zealand. I don’t know anything about baseball to be honest.
“Get back,” I said, in what I imagined was a gruff, intimidating voice which oozed masculinity. In reality I cracked a high and sounded like a squeaky version of Gandalf. You shall not pass! I planted my feet firmly, ready for the charge.
“Settle down,” said the man, “I just wanna talk.”
Sure he just wanted to talk. He wanted to steal Kate’s handbag, and spend all her money on crack. I wasn’t about to let that happen. The fact that Kate wasn’t carrying a handbag slipped my mind.
I waved my cane in his face… Ominously.
“Put it down,” said the ominous man.
“No,” I said. Waving it about even more for a little dramatic effect.
“Fine then,” said the man.
He lashed out, ripped the cane from my sweaty hands, and snapped it over his knee, for a little dramatic effect of course.
“My Granddad made that,” I said, eyes wide.
This just got personal. I charged him; which is hard to do with only one good leg. It was less of a charge, and more of an awkward side-shuffle, like an angry crab. The end effect was good though. We both fell to the pavement. I was on top and feeling like a genuine Arnold Schwarzenegger. The ominous man was all red in the face and was looking more than a little bit angry.
“What the hell kid?”
We wrestled for a bit before he got the better of me and rolled me on my back. He then got to his feet and started kicking me in the ribs.
“I just wanted to talk,” he screamed. This guy would probably need counseling.
Kate, seeing me being kicked, put her phone down (911 of course), grabbed a handy piece of discarded drainpipe and rapped him on the back. He staggered to the side and glared at Kate. Thinking better of assaulting a girl, he turned back to me. I was on my feet now. He came in low, so I deflected his charge and stumbled to the side. I gave him a good kick as he flew by. Turning to face me he raised his fists, but despite his guard and with ninja speed, I jabbed him in the face. It wasn’t a particularly solid hit, but it disorientated him enough for me to land a few more into his stomach.
“Screw this,” I heard him mumble before he cracked me in the ribs with his knee.
I went down hard, gasping for air.
“Now,” he said, blood pouring from h
is nose. “I just want to talk!”
I was up on my feet again and keen for round two. Kate stopped me however.
“Fletch, stop,” she put a hand in front of me, the other still holding the drainpipe. “I think there has been a big misunderstanding.”
“But he was trying to rob us!” I pointed out between gasps. “He started kicking me in the ribs.”
“If I was trying to rob you,” the man pulled back his jacket to reveal a gun, “Then I would have used this, you moron! What is wrong with you?”
I smiled. Too tell the truth this had been great fun. I hadn’t felt an adrenalin rush like this since I thought I was Mary Poppins.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, “You broke my cane.”
“Because you kept screwing me around!”
“We won’t press charges if you don’t,” said Kate. The cops were arriving.
“Deal,” said the ominous man, “My name is Agent Jones, and I’m here on behalf of Kevin Cosworth, the Secretary of Homeland Security. We need to talk.”
***
After flashing his credentials about and shooing away the cops, Agent Jones (possibly the most generic name ever, in my opinion) led us to a coffee shop and sat us down. After returning from the restroom (he had to clean up his blood nose, it was looking pretty gruesome), he sat down opposite us and shook his head slowly.
“So much for subtlety and secrecy,” he said, removing his suit jacket and running his hand over his balding head. “What do you guys want? My shout.”
“I’ll have a mocha Frappuccino,” Kate said.
“Same.”
“You kids and your poncy drinks.” He ended up ordering two hot chocolates for us, and a black coffee for himself. “I forgot the names so I got you kiddies these.”
I’m twenty years old and as my Granddad always used to say, ‘if you’re old enough to die for your country then you’re old enough to be called a man.’
“So what’s this all about?” asked Kate, “Why have you been following us around.”
Jones smirked. “Everyone has been following you three around. You guys are the talk of the town. Where is the other one by the way?”
“He doesn’t get out much anymore,” I said. My hot chocolate was bitter. I liked it sweet.
“He probably feels like a third wheel,” suggested Jones.
I smiled. Kate rolled her eyes.
“So talk,” she said, “What do you want?”
“Secretary Cosworth wants to meet you three.”
“Then set up an appointment through CANA,” said Kate.
She had little dimples when she got irritated.
“See that’s the thing,” said Jones, “He wants this meeting to be on the down low.”
The down low? I couldn’t believe that a forty something, balding, white guy just said that.
“He just wants to check in, see how you guys are doing,” he continued, “He’s quite a nice guy when you get past the…”
“So, why are we a matter for Homeland Security?” interrupted Kate, “We are not terrorists.”
“Well not as yet,” said Jones, “We just want to be kept in the loop.”
“Not as yet?” said Kate in disbelief.
Agent Jones shrugged.
“You want us to spy for you?” I asked.
“No, nothing like that. Secretary Cosworth is actually very good friends with Doctor Neumann. They play bridge together at the…”
“Then why don’t you want Sasha to know?” Said Kate.
Jones thought for a while and then shrugged.
“What the hell,” he said, “CANA is under surveillance as a possible threat to national security. You can’t develop this kind of technology and not get the government at least a little concerned. When Doctor Neumann started this internship, we got real interested. It isn’t like him at all. Like I said, we just want to be kept in the loop. No spying, we just want to know how you kids are getting on.”
“It’s just an internship,” I pointed out. I didn’t think it wise to tell him about Frederick. It almost scared me to think that I might be developing loyalties.
“Maybe it is,” said Jones, “But then maybe it isn’t. When are you guys free? It would be good if the other one could come along as well. What’s his name?”
“Stuart,” said Kate, “I don’t think we will be free for a while. We’re going on assignments.”
“Work experience,” I put in, “I get to go overseas.”
“Right,” said Jones looking at me like I was a freak show, “I guess I will be in touch then.” He got up and put his jacket back on. “Stay safe kiddies. You will be seeing me around.”
I gingerly got to my feet. My ankle was killing me. I wondered if I could get the cane fixed.
“And you,” said Jones, pointing at me, “You need help.”
I smiled and we both watched him leave.
“I think that was sweet that you stood up for me,” said Kate.
I don’t think my smile could have gotten any bigger.
“Even though it was completely unnecessary and you pretty much started it.”
Ouch.
“No wait, you definitely started it. You’re a moron Fletcher,” and then she smiled. “I mean that in the nicest possible way of course.”
“Right,” I said, “Possibly a heroic moron?”
Without replying she pursed her lips, took my arm and helped me along the street towards CANA. Life was still good.
Chapter 7
The next two weeks were possibly the two best weeks of my life. In the day I would assist in the lab, doing an assortment of interny things, and then at night I would get to spend time with Kate. We went to movies, saw musicals, explored the Washington nightlife, danced, laughed, cried; I was happy. But every day I saw Stuart less and less. He spent most of his time in his room, or worked late and went straight to sleep after. He started to look thin and haggard, like he hadn’t been eating or sleeping. Every night he had a different excuse why he couldn’t hang out.
But I had different things on my mind. It was nearly time to leave for wherever it was I was going. I had to go before Stuart and Kate, waking up at four in the morning to catch a six o’clock flight.
When the day came I was a wreck. I couldn’t bear leaving, but I had a responsibility to fulfill the internship, which meant going on this stupid vacation. I woke at three in the morning, next to Kate, kissed her on the cheek and headed back to my room to pack. I had found the determination to get it over and done with. Time usually passed faster when you weren’t wallowing in self-pity.
Half an hour later I met Cole, who was waiting in a black Mercedes out front of CANA and tossed my bag into the boot.
“Morning sunshine. Did you remember your toothbrush?” said Cole with an impossibly cheerful grin for this time of the morning.
“Yes Dad,” I replied sarcastically before realizing that I hadn’t packed one. I would just have to pick one up at the airport.
However, it turned out that we weren’t going to a conventional airport with terminals and duty free shops. We arrived right on five o’clock at a sleepy little airfield about an hour and a half outside of Washington. On the airfield sat a private jet with the slogan ‘CANA, Tomorrow Today’ emblazoned on it.
“I hate that motto,” said Cole as we hopped out of the Mercedes and headed for the jet, “Doesn’t even make sense.”
I shrugged, “It’s better than ‘CANA, The Home of Mad Scientists’.”
Cole laughed and handed our luggage to a man in a very slick pilot’s uniform. “You still think this is crazy?”
I shrugged again, “Yes and strangely no. I’m kind of getting used to the idea.”
Cole cocked his head to the side and looked at me with wide eyes. He was wearing his Tweety Bird tie again. “I’ve been working here for fifteen years and I’m still not used to it.”
“Yeah, but you didn’t have computer games to desensitize you to this kind of thing when you were growing up.”
***
Cole wasn't much fun on the plane. He didn’t seem to be in the mood to integrate. He played Sudoku and read magazines for the entire flight; antisocial much. We landed at what could easily pass for Santa Clause's holiday home. It was a giant winter palace, nestled amidst a sprinkling of evergreens. I saw the runway being cleared of excess snow just before we landed. It was a stroke of grey on a white canvas.
“You're going to like this place,” Cole assured me as we descended into the snow.
We were in Russia, or the Alps, or a million places in Europe. Cole wouldn't even tell me which continent it was. The location was black suit secret.
“See the manor?” asked Cole.
“Yes.”
“That's it.”
“True?” I replied.
I wondered if it had room service. It looked a bit fancy for twisted experiments to be haunting the halls. All I had to manage was to not get my limbs torn from my tender young body by a misfiring mechanical abomination, and I would be safe and sound, sipping Lemon n Paeroa at Mount Maunganui with Kate. I just had to wait it out till Christmas and then I was free.
I wondered if she would ever come back to New Zealand with me. I don’t think I could live anywhere else. This escapade abroad had made that clear to me. I missed the Waikato plains, the mournful calls of the ruru as I drifted off to sleep. I missed the west coast beaches; cliffs and dunes disappearing into the distance like the lace hem of a giant’s dress. You didn’t notice it all until it was gone. It shocked me to discover that I might in fact be a patriot.
The beaches of New Zealand couldn't seem further away from this place. I kept expecting Rudolph to come prancing out of the forest.
Strangely enough, I couldn’t shake the feeling that perhaps this was the right thing to do. Perhaps I shouldn’t bail after the internship ended. Perhaps I could make a difference in this world. But then perhaps I was a twenty year-old drowning in the deep end.