“I’ll be by later.” Henry laid his hands on her. “I’ll help out.”
Frank stood slowly from his chair. “Are you feeling all right, El?”
“Yeah sure, Frank. Why?” She ran her fingers through her hair.
“You look tired.”
“I’m not.”
“Are you sure?” He pointed. “You have those dark circles under ...”
“Frank!” Ellen swiped his hand away. “God! I can always count of you to make me feel good!” snapping out her words, she turned around and stormed off.
Frank tossed his hands in the air. “What? What did I do?”
Not paying any attention to Frank, Henry moved to the door. “Excuse me, Frank, Joe.” He ran out and spotted Ellen. “El.”
Ellen turned around and stopped walking, waiting for Henry to catch up. “Sorry about that.”
“No, that’s all right.”
“I’m just upset.”
“I understand. How are things going with Dean?”
Ellen blew out slowly. “He’s so down, Henry.”
“He’s gonna be, especially today, El. This is the first day without his sight. It doesn’t matter how prepared he thought he was for it. The reality has hit him.”
“I know. I thought I was ready for it too. But when I saw him, when I looked into his eyes that seemed to have lost his soul, it killed me. He’s afraid, Henry. He’s so afraid. He couldn’t walk across the room without panicking today. He called me three times and I’ve only been gone a half hour. I have never felt so needed, yet so helpless to do anything. I’m trying, I have been with him for the past seven hours and I’m trying to be upbeat and optimistic for him but my heart is broken. This is my friend, Henry, and there is nothing I can do for him.”
Henry had no words to say to Ellen. He wished he did. The only thing he could do at that moment was take her in his arms, try to give her some of the strength he had, and hope that the day that was seemingly so bad for her, would somehow get better.
<><><><>
George looked as amused as a child with an Easter basket when he received the news. Cole and his crew were moving out three days earlier? How easily George had Joe pegged to do that. Did Joe honestly believe that if he moved his crew out ahead of schedule, all would go well because his reconnaissance flights were showing an all clear? Joe wanted to take advantage of that clear situation. But didn’t he learn that just because his pilot didn’t see anything, it didn’t mean nothing was there. Beginnings' recent invasion proved even the best Beginnings pilots are fallible.
Now there was something more out there for them. George had twelve CMEs posted not far from where Cole and his crew were headed. It was a plan in motion George had ready since Robbie exhibited signs of getting well. Twelve men waiting, close but far enough out of reconnaissance flight surveillance. Cole and his men would hit their sites, the first two, problem free. They’d halt for the night thinking all was well. Then Communications would get a signal in the morning close to where Cole was. Minor situation Cole could take care of. Knowing the way Beginnings thought, they would send, as a safe guard, Robbie. It is his job. He’ll get there and get cocky when he discovered it only was two CMEs. Get comfortable then ... Robbie would get hit with the ten remaining men. Of course Robbie would emerge unscathed. But to Beginnings ... he would be missing when it was all said and done.
<><><><>
The sound of Robbie and his band practicing acoustically in Joe’s backyard that evening seemed to carry all through Beginnings. Ellen listened to them as she did the dishes, keeping the window open, trying to bury herself into what they played instead of what had been happening all day and evening at Dean’s. Henry was there now. He was a big help with the kids. And Robbie, though a few houses up, he made her smile. He’d play the song from that spoof of a spy movie where the rock-and-roll star went to Moscow. Robbie played it, sounding so much like the actor, claiming the song, “How Silly Can You Get” was actually his theme song. It was a stupid song, but it made Ellen smile. The same song that Robbie had played numerous times before and made her cringe, had become on that evening, a song she longed to hear over and over. It seemed to be the only song they played that somewhere in the song there wasn’t something that reminded her of Dean’s troubles. Like the jilted lover listening to soft rock radio, everything Robbie and they played had something in there that struck a chord within Ellen.
The kids were being kids in the living room, loud and having fun. Ellen was glad Dean’s headache had finally left. He still was down, but at least he wasn’t ill. As she rinsed the last of the dinner’s dishes, Ellen wondered whether she took a long time because there were so many, or because she had escaped the situation for a little while and wasn’t ready to go back. But now she had to. She had no choice.
Drying her hands, she shut off the kitchen light as she walked into the living room. Henry had Joey and Billy in some sort of card game. Alexandra, as usual, drew pictures. Dean, he tried so hard to appear to his children as if nothing was wrong. So much in his usual every evening fashion, he sat on the couch, Brian on his lap, and papers spread out all around him like he was working.
Why this vision bothered Ellen, she didn’t know. Kids were bright and sometimes they saw things adults didn’t see. They also accepted things a lot better. Of all people on the earth, during this troubled moment in his life, Dean’s children were the ones who would be the least judgmental of him.
Ellen reached her hands to Brian, catching herself in the expectance of Dean handing him to her. “Dean.” She made her announcement before him. “I can take Brian.”
“I can hold him.” Dean buried his lips to Brian’s head.
“I’ll clean up these papers for you.”
“Thanks.”
Gathering up the papers, Ellen heard Alexandra chuckle in amusement to herself. “What is it, Alex?” Ellen asked as she set the papers on the coffee table and sat down next to Dean.
“Look what I drew, Mommy.” Alexandra held up her drawing. “I drew you and Daddy, but I made Daddy’s feet too big.” She snickered and stood up rushing to Dean. “Look, Daddy, at your feet.”
Ellen watched Dean swallow predominantly and lift his head. His eyes didn’t move.
“Daddy? Look.” Alexandra held it higher.
“I ... I see, sweetie,” Dean told her.
Alexandra giggled again. “No, you don’t. You aren’t even looking. Daddy, look.”
Ellen saw the pain on Dean’s face as he desperately tried to find direction looking for where Alexandra’s voice came from. She heard him tell his daughter ‘that’s great’ and upon those words something inside of Ellen just snapped. She jumped from the couch. “I’ll be back.” She looked at Henry as she ran her hand across Dean’s back. “I have to go. I’ll be back.” Running out without anymore words, Ellen stopped on the sidewalk and took a deep breath of the evening air. Robbie’s music was louder out there and the song he played seemed to be the perfect backdrop to her life that seemed so much like a bad ‘Monday Night’ movie.
She ran quickly the four houses up to her own, wanting so much just to get inside and stop the rush of madness she was feeling. When she got inside, Ellen just plopped on the couch, burying her face in her hands. She knew Dean was losing his sight. She’d known for a while too. When she saw him at the crack of dawn, she knew his sight was gone, but she never realized the impact of it until that moment. Was the same thing going through Dean’s mind that was going through Ellen’s? Did he regret all those times he sat on the couch working and he only lifted his head to Alexandra and pretended to see her drawing? How many times had he done that? How many times, as a parent, had Ellen done that? Now, ironically, Dean did the same thing moments earlier only this time his face showed how much he wanted with all of his heart not to be pretending.
A single knock on the door brought into the room the voice of the person she couldn’t face. “El,” Frank called out. “I was going to my Dad’s and I saw you run in here
.”
Ellen wiped the tears that seemed to fall from out of her control. She wiped them quickly and folded her arms closer to her body.
“Are you all right?”
“Yeah.”
“I mean you were real quiet when I dropped the kids off. And Dean, Dean was fuckin rude. He wouldn’t even acknowledge my presence or look at me. I was only trying to ask him how he was.”
Ellen stood immediately up, keeping her back to him, wanting him to go away. Not because she didn’t want him there, but because she needed him there.
“You’re quiet. Did I do something? I know I did. What was it?”
Ellen shook her head. “Nothing, Frank. Really.”
Frank heard it in her voice. She spoke differently. She spoke sadly. “Talk to me.” He laid his hand on her shoulder and immediately he watched her head go to it. As she brushed her cheek against it, Frank felt the dampness. “El?”
Ellen spun around to him, said nothing, and threw her arms around his neck, grasping so tightly to Frank.
“El. What is it?”
“I’m just having a really bad day. Could you ... could you just hold me, Frank?”
Frank’s response was his answer. His huge arms wrapped around her almost twice as he pulled Ellen up and into him, cradling her with his whole being. He felt, as he held her in his arms, he was giving her the strength she needed. But what Frank didn’t realize was, he was giving Ellen the strength that only he could give.
<><><><>
“I promise you, El,” Henry said as they sat in Dean’s living room that night. “I promise you it will be better tomorrow.”
“Dean still won’t be able to see tomorrow, Henry.”
“No he won’t but it will be another day. With every day that passes, he will get better with it. He’ll adjust. He has to.”
“Will he?”
“Yes.” Henry wanted to give her the answers. “Dean doesn’t adjust well to change, El, you know that. This is a big change, but you and I both know when he does adjust to something, he does it well. He will do this well. He’ll learn to live with this. He just needs time to know he has no choice but to learn. And when he does, you watch him.”
“What about his state of mind, Henry?” Ellen held on to him, nuzzling more. “I’m worried about that.”
“That will take time too.”
“I have to help him.”
“I know you do. Dean needs you. I saw that tonight. He was lost when you weren’t around.”
“He has so much to learn now. With him being so down, I’m afraid he won’t learn. If he doesn’t learn, we’re in so much trouble if this virus hits.” Ellen closed her eyes. “Was that selfish of me to say that?”
“No.” Henry’s hand ran down her head. “Answer this question. Dean would be traumatically affected by the loss of his sight under normal circumstances; don’t you think with this virus heavy on his mind, things are worse?”
“I do.” Ellen raised her head to look at Henry. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I’m a part of this too. And we better get some rest. It’s getting late and project Dean ...” Henry looked at his watch. “Starts in four hours.”
CHAPTER TWO
JULY 26
The theme song to Mission Impossible played in Henry’s head as he slithered his way to Dean’s front door. The morning silence filled the street. Henry, back against the archway, leaned his head out first then slipped his body out from the house. Like the big spy, he checked up and down, darted a house forward, looked around the bend then hurriedly returned into Dean’s house. “All clear,” he told Ellen and Dean.
“Thanks, Henry,” Ellen said. “You’re sure no one is around.”
“Positive,” Henry answered. “Keep in mind that it is Sunday, so you shouldn’t run into anyone on your way to the clinic. Just avoid being center town between ten fifteen and ten thirty. Services let out.”
Ellen gave a wink and a thumbs-up. “You’ll stop by and see us at the clinic?”
“Yep.” Henry nodded. “Joe and Andrea are supposed to pick up the kids, so as soon as they do that, I’ll be by. Are you sure you can make it there all right?”
“Oh sure,” Ellen told him with such confidence. “Dean?” She looked to the couch were he sat. “You ready.”
“I don’t know, El.” Dean shook his head with fright. “People are gonna know. We should go straight to the mobile lab.”
“I’d love to,” Ellen told him, walking to the couch. “But unfortunately Andrea says there is a lot of clinic work to do. Annual physicals took place this week, remember?”
Dean nodded. “I do. But what happens if someone walks in? What do I do?”
“What we talked about. You pick up that pen and bury your face into the notebook.” Ellen reached for his arm and helped him to stand. “Ready?”
“I guess.”
Walking with Dean, Ellen waved goodbye to Henry and walked out of the house. So as not to look like she was guiding him, she leaned against him as they walked, like two lovers on a stroll.
Dean felt the openness and the warmness of the air. The sounds and smell of outside immediately hit him and he stopped walking.
“Dean? What is it?”
“It’s just a little frightening, that’s all.” Dean started walking again, only this time a little slower and depending on Ellen more to lead the way. “I guess you never realize how small you really are until you can only feel how big things are around you.”
<><><><>
“Baby exchange.” Frank handed Nick to Joe and took Brian, laying him down on the couch, getting ready to change his diaper. “So what are you exactly doing with the entire brood today?”
“Andrea and I are taking the kids out to the field. We’re gonna spend the day out there with them. We’ll pick up Nick after lunch.”
“Man, are you a glutton,” Frank commented as he changed Brian’s diaper.
“I’ve been a busy man, Frank, and I haven’t had time to spend with my grandkids.”
“But to take all of them in one shot.”
“You do it,” Joe commented, “and you’re putting the diaper too tight on that kid.”
“No-no. Don’t even tell me how to change diapers. I am the master. I fuckin have two of them in diapers right now.” Frank pulled up Brian’s pants and held him. “What is taking Alexandra and Henry so long up there? Henry? What the fuck? Come on!”
“We’re right here, Frank.” Henry came down the steps. “I was fixing Alex’s hair. It was a mess you know.”
Frank rolled his eyes. “What the hell is it with you and your obsession over fixing the kid’s hair?” He stood up and looked at Alex’s perfect braid, shaking his head. “You shouldn’t be able to fix her hair like that, Henry. Something’s just not right about that.”
“She looks pretty.” Henry ran his hand down the back of Alexandra’s hair.
“Yeah, well in about an hour she’ll look dirty. She’s gonna be running around the baseball field.”
“At least she started her day off looking good.” Henry checked out the time. “Joe, should we still be at your house for dinner at the normal time?”
“No,” Joe told him, “make it six tonight. By the time we get back, we won’t have time to get it ready.”
“OK, I’ll see you then. Bye.” Henry hurried to the door.
Frank called out, stopping him, “Wait a second.”
Henry hunched and turned to face him. “Yeah, Frank?”
“Where the hell are you going?”
“To the clinic.” Henry watched Frank shake his head. “No? Why?”
Setting Brian down on the floor, Frank took Nick from Joe’s arms. “Your turn, Henry.”
“But, Frank ...”
“Henry, take your kid.”
“But, Frank, I have things I have to do.”
“So do I.” Frank moved to him, extending the baby. “Take the baby.”
“Frank, I promised El I’d stop by before she went to
the mobile. I can’t watch the baby until Joe picks him up. I have to go to the clinic. It’s really important. How about I get him after I stop at the clinic and then I’ll take him to Mechanics with me.” Henry widened his eyes, smiled and nodded his head. “Good?”
Frank grunted and pulled Nick into him. “One hour. You be back here to get him in one hour or I’ll chase your skinny ass down. If I chase your skinny ass down, I’m beating it.”
“Deal.” Before Frank could change his mind, Henry was out the door.
Joe couldn’t believe it. “You really let him get away with pushing off that baby. I thought he’d want to be more a part of that kid’s life.”
“Oh he does. He wants to be a big part of this kid’s life.” Frank kissed Nick. “Just as long as he doesn’t have to feed him, walk him, change him, or bathe him.”
“I’ll pick up Nick from him after we’re done at the field. Is Ellen coming to dinner tonight, her and Dean? Did you talk to her?”
“I talked to her this morning. She says they have a lot of work to catch up on.”
“So Dean is better.”
All Frank did was shrug.
“Something is up.”
Frank raised his head. “You think so too?”
“My gut tells me, Frank, we don’t know something. Both of their demeanors were bad yesterday.”
“How about this? I’m on my way into your house last night, right? I see Ellen book into Henry’s. I go in. She’s crying. Crying, Dad. I held her for at least twenty minutes, just held her. She wouldn’t let me go. All night long I kept on thinking about that. Why was she crying ... And don’t light that up in my house.” Frank saw him pull out a cigarette. “Not in front of Nick.”
Joe grew perturbed as Frank waved his hand about. “Christ, Frank, I haven’t even lit it yet.” Joe put the cigarette back. “I’ll be nice. I won’t smoke.”
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Joe ran his hand down his own face. “Ellen, our Ellen was crying?”
Blink of an Eye: Beginnings Series Book 8 Page 2