‘Of course she’s thinking about a man,’ he announced. ‘She’s thinking about me, what a great evening she’s had in my scintillating company, and how she can’t wait to do it again.’
We all laughed, nervously in my case. Sitting so close to Nick, my head against his chest, I felt weak at the knees. He smelled so good. He felt so good. I could hear my heart thumping frantically and wondered if he could hear it too. I felt disappointed when he removed his arm although I couldn’t help thinking that he’d held me a little more closely and tightly than needed. Had he been aware that the words he spoke in jest were true?
Bill finally settled, everyone pulled on their coats and headed outside.
‘Would you mind if I walk you home?’ Nick asked.
‘I’d love that,’ I said, perhaps too quickly.
‘No need for that,’ piped up Bob. ‘I’m just round the corner from Sarah. Tony and I are both heading that way. We’ll see her home safe.’
I opened my mouth to protest but what could I say? Nick lived in the opposite direction. If I created a fuss, it would be obvious that I wanted to be alone with him and I’d feel pretty damn stupid if I’d misread the signals from him and he was just being a gent with his offer – not saying it because he wanted to be alone with me too.
‘Okay, if you’re sure you don’t mind…’ I caught Nick’s eye and he smiled sadly and shrugged his shoulders. That intense look was there again and I knew. I just knew. He felt the same way as me. Auntie Kay and Elise were right.
Bob, Tony and I reached Seashell Cottage and parted. I stood on the doorstep for a moment, imagining what I’d be doing if it had been Nick who’d walked me home instead. Would he have kissed me? If he hadn’t made a move, would I have dared kiss him? Oh well, I’d never know. I opened the door just as my phone beeped. Spotting his name on the screen, my heart skipped a beat. I opened his message and grinned.
✉︎ From Nick
I had an amazing night thanks to you. I think you might have guessed that I hoped to walk you home so I could give you one of these in person so here’s 3 by text instead – xxx – I know I’m not a Steven, but if you give me a chance, I promise I’ll treat you better than 20 Stevens! I think we could be great together. Hope you feel the same. Let me know if you do. Goodnight, Sarah xxx
Aware I was letting all the heat out, I quickly closed the door then leaned against it as I read Nick’s text over and over again. By the time I found my way to the sofa, my face ached from smiling.
Kit and Kat appeared and rubbed round my legs. ‘Mummy will give you a fuss in a moment,’ I said. ‘First, I have a very important text to write.’
✉︎ To Nick
I’ve been trying to ignore my feelings cos of the Steven thing but I do feel the same. How about a rain check without Bob and Tony to cramp our style? Come to the shop at 5.45 tomorrow if you’re free. Can’t wait to see you again and collect those kisses in person. Steven who? xxx
23
Beep… beep… beep…
I groaned and rolled over in bed, groped around on the bedside cabinet for my mobile, and blindly pressed a button to snooze the alarm. Relief flowed through me that the most hideous sound in the world had ceased, quickly followed by panic; I’d fallen asleep before Nick replied.
Sitting up, I squinted at the screen, expecting to see a little envelope, but it was blank. I switched the bedside lamp on and stared at the phone again. Still blank. My heart sank.
I reluctantly heaved myself out of bed and padded across the landing to the bathroom. Maybe he’d just turn up after work. I didn’t say he needed to reply. Yes, that was it. He’d pick me up at 5.45.
But I didn’t feel convinced.
At the shop that morning, I found myself constantly staring at my phone. I checked my inbox. I checked it wasn’t on silent. I checked my inbox again.
Shortly before eleven, I breathed a sigh of relief when a text envelope appeared with Nick’s name on it.
✉︎ From Nick
Hi Skye, are you free for coffee at some point today? Have a dilemma and could do with your advice
I leaned against the counter and re-read the short message. Skye?
✉︎ To Nick
Hi Nick, Sarah here. You’ve just sent me that text – not Skye. You OK? Anything I can help with? xx
I had a bouquet to make but I couldn’t bring myself to work. Instead I just stared at the screen. Dilemma? What sort of dilemma? Could it have anything to do with me? I willed him to reply. Quickly.
✉︎ From Nick
Sorry about that. I’m fine. Hope you’re OK and didn’t have a sore head this morning! Have a good week
No kisses? Not even a smiley face? No confirmation to meet up tonight? No acknowledgement of the text I sent him? No mention of the text he sent me? What was he playing at? I shoved my phone back in my pocket and stormed towards the flower buckets to get what I needed for the bouquet.
‘Hey! What have the flowers done to upset you?’
I spun round to face Mum. ‘What?’
‘The flowers you’re grabbing. You’ve already snapped one.’
I looked at the crushed stalks in my hand. I’d actually snapped three.
‘Are you okay, sweetheart?’
‘Yes. Sorry, Mum. Just a bit annoyed.’
‘Anything I’ve done?’
I shook my head. ‘Of course not. Ignore me. Bad morning.’
‘Do you want to talk about it?’
‘Thanks, but I’m fine. And I’d better get on with this bouquet or I’ll have an angry customer on my hands to make a bad day even worse.’
Mum reached out and took my empty hand in hers. ‘Remember that I’m here if you need me.’
‘Thanks, Mum, but I really am fine.’ It was tempting but I didn’t feel like opening up at that moment. The anger had subsided and I felt silly. Nick’s text last night must have been the drink talking. Clearly I’d imagined the chemistry and he wasn’t interested. I should have ignored his text and not sent that ridiculous reply. I shouldn’t have deviated from the search for Steven… look where it had got me.
I finished the bouquet and tied a piece of raffia round the bottom. So what if Nick wasn’t interested? I had a load of Stevens on my list so I didn’t care. In fact, I’d contact them all as soon as I got home. That’s what Clare would do. She’d say bollocks to Nick and set up her next date.
I lay the bouquet on the counter. Maybe I’d see if he appeared at quarter to six, though, before I rushed into anything…
I waited over an hour after closing time, just in case. I must have gone through every emotion in that hour from excitement (maybe he’ll turn up?) to devastation (he’s not going to come) to apathy (I don’t care anyway; I’m a successful woman in my own right and don’t need a man in my life) to anger (why the hell would he lead me on like that?)
The anger became the strongest emotion and eventually spurred me home and into decisive action. As soon as I closed the door at Seashell Cottage, I stormed into the kitchen and grabbed my list off the fridge, scattering the magnets to the floor.
I threw myself onto the sofa with my laptop and logged into the dating site. ‘Goodbye Nick Derbyshire. Stand me up, will you? Well, I don’t need you.’
An hour later, I closed my laptop, feeling exhausted but a lot calmer. I reflected on my updated list:
Ste Parker (original list) – Casual ‘hello’ message sent, apologising for the delay in getting in touch due to setting up new business
Steve Masterson & Steve Berry (original list) – Both profiles had been removed
Stephen Fitzpatrick (original list) – Messaged him. Immediate response back to say he’d got back with his ex-girlfriend at his work’s Christmas party last week but wished me every success in finding someone
Steve Collins – Had added me to his favourites (very flattering). Messaged to thank him for this and say ‘hi’
Stephen Webb & Steven Fox (both new) – Casual ‘hello’ messages sent
&nb
sp; I retrieved the magnets from the kitchen floor and stuck my new list to the fridge door. Kat squeaked at my feet. I picked her up and gave her a hug.
‘It was the right thing to do,’ I said to her. ‘What if I’d got involved with him and Steven came along? We’d both end up getting hurt. This way’s better. He’s obviously not interested in me or he wouldn’t have sent me such a casual text. I have a silly little crush on him, that’s all. It will go away soon and maybe one of these Stevens will be your new daddy. Would you like that?’ Kat purred and nuzzled closer. ‘That’s right. Nick and I were never meant to be. The man of my dreams is called Steven. Nick was a blip. Madame Louisa said it wouldn’t be plain sailing. This is obviously what she meant. From now on, we’re searching for Steven. We’re not dreaming about Nick.’
But a tear slipped down my cheek.
A week passed and I didn’t hear a peep out of Nick. Seaside Blooms thrived and trade kept increasing as Christmas crept closer. Mum was helping out full-time and Cathy’s sixteen-year-old daughter, Jade, had started working Saturdays and a few weekday shifts when she wasn’t at college, which relieved the pressure.
Auntie Kay kept us posted on her travels with regular family emails and photos. Every so often, she texted me to ask for a progress report on Nick but I evaded the subject.
The final week of school term arrived and, by Friday evening, there was still no word from Nick.
I’d barely seen Elise for the past fortnight as she was tied up directing a pantomime at school and various other Christmas activities. Stevie was tied up with a few big work projects and Clare was unavailable due to weekend work commitments although she was expected in Whitsborough Bay on Saturday night.
Mum and Dad seemed to be out every other night with friends, leaving me all alone with just two cats for company. And my troubled thoughts. Despite my resolve to forget about Nick and just search for Steven, I couldn’t get him off my mind. I didn’t think it was appropriate to text him again but I ventured down to the beach at dawn for a run five times during that fortnight in the hope that we’d run into each other – literally. We didn’t.
I spent a ridiculous number of evenings staring blankly at the TV, checking my laptop every fifteen minutes or so to see if I’d received any new messages or to check Nick’s Facebook status. I hated being like that. I kept opening up my lovely silk beaded notepad and trying to focus on ideas for developing the business, but the next priority really had to be my website, which got me side-tracked looking at the portfolio Nick had pulled together, which got me thinking about Nick again, which drew me back to the laptop to check his Facebook status. Vicious circle.
Ste Parker from my original list hadn’t been in touch but the three new Stevens had. I’d stupidly entered into online conversations with all of them which created a massive challenge in remembering who’d said what. Even though I could scroll up to previous messages, there soon became too many messages to work through. I ended up allocating Post-it notes of a different colour to each Steven, scribbling down the key points, and sticking them to the dining room wall in coloured columns in an effort to keep track.
Around mid-afternoon on Thursday, we hit a lull. I watched Jade dusting the shelves in the glass display cabinets while she sang along to ‘Last Christmas’. In The Outback, I could hear Mum singing while she unpacked a delivery of gifts. Cathy, making a Christmas wreath next to me, hummed away quietly and I smiled as I watched my team in action. My team. I liked it.
I decided to take advantage of the lack of customers and check to see if I had any messages. There was one from each of the three new Stevens and, as I quickly scanned through them, my heart sank. No! I don’t believe it!
‘I need to nip out, Cathy,’ I said, logging off the site. ‘Will you be okay without me for a bit?’
Cathy laughed. ‘Of course. It’s not like I’m on my own. I’ve got George Michael in here and Andrew Ridgeley out there. You take a break.’
‘I’ll only be ten minutes. Maximum.’ I grabbed my coat from The Outback, telling Mum I had an errand to run. Clutching my mobile, I headed for Castle Park at the end of the street and sat on one of the benches, overlooking South Bay. The biting coastal wind made my eyes stream but at least it was dry. I called Clare, hoping she was free.
‘Clare. Please say you can talk.’
‘Sure. We’re at an exhibition, but I’ve seen what I need to. Let me go somewhere quieter.’ The background chatter died down and her voice came over a bit echoey. ‘I’m in the entrance hall now. What’s the craic? You sound worried.’
‘I am. I’ve heard from Steve Collins and he’s asked me to meet him.’
‘That’s grand. When?’
‘Tomorrow night.’
‘So what are you worried about?’
‘I’ve heard from Steven Fox and he’s asked me to meet him too.’
‘Oh. Dare I ask…?’
‘Tomorrow night.’
‘Bummer.’
‘I’ve also heard from Stephen Webb.’
‘No! Tomorrow night too?’
‘Yep.’
‘Christ, Sarah, you’re in demand. What will you do?’
‘I was hoping you’d tell me.’
‘You could try meeting all three of them,’ she said. ‘Pick three pubs close to each other, arrange to meet them at three different times, then keep making excuses to leave one and go onto the next.’
‘You’re joking.’
‘Of course I am, you eejit. Imagine what a nightmare that would be for someone like you.’
‘What do you mean “someone like you”?’
‘You know exactly what I mean. Someone nice and polite and a bit anal.’
I couldn’t take offence as she was absolutely right. ‘So what should I do?’
‘Several options spring to mind. You could pick your favourite and keep the others warm, you could pick your favourite and reject the others, you could say you can’t make it to any of them, or you could suggest Friday night to one, Saturday to another, and Sunday to the other. Although I’m with you on Saturday night so that scuppers that plan.’
‘Which would you do?’
‘I’d date all three on the same night.’
‘And if you were me?’
‘I’d pick one. Do you have a favourite?’
‘I like them all so far. It’s hard to judge from a handful of messages.’
‘You must be leaning towards one of them.’
I thought for a moment, trying to separate them in my mind, mentally picturing my columns of Post-it notes. ‘Steven Fox. I think. Perhaps.’
‘Foxy it is then,’ Clare said. ‘But I’d keep the other two warm; tell them you already have plans for the weekend, but would love to meet up after Christmas, and hope they don’t catch you out with Foxy.’
I thanked Clare and headed back to the shop, feeling slightly more relaxed. I’d give it till the end of the day and message Steven Fox. No point in looking too keen.
Cathy was serving a customer, Jade was still cleaning, and I could hear Mum on the phone in The Outback.
‘Did anything exciting happen while I was gone?’ I asked Cathy and Jade when the customer left.
‘I sold another of those silver teddy bear money boxes for a christening,’ Jade said before shyly adding, ‘and I talked her into a really cute teddy bear, a card, and some gift wrap.’
‘That’s brilliant, Jade. Thank you.’
‘The customer who just left wanted two bouquets; a twenty-pound and a ten-pound one,’ Cathy said. ‘She’s coming back in half an hour.’
‘Thank you both.’
‘What about that guy, Mum?’ Jade said.
My stomach lurched. What guy?
‘Soup for brains,’ Cathy said. ‘Nick came in looking for you.’
Oh my God! ‘Did he leave a message?’
‘He looked a bit disappointed that he’d missed you and said he’d probably see you after Christmas.’
‘Anything else?’
‘No. That was it.’
‘Is he your boyfriend?’ Jade asked.
‘Jade!’ Cathy scolded.
‘No. He’s not my boyfriend.’ But I wish he was.
‘Are you okay?’ Cathy said. ‘You look a bit peaky.’
I waved my hand dismissively. ‘I’m absolutely fine. Just a bit tired from the whole opening a new business near Christmas thing. I’m just going to make a cuppa. Do either of you want one?’
Drink orders taken, I headed into The Outback where I pulled my phone out my pocket and quickly texted Nick.
✉︎ To Nick
Hi. I hear I’ve just missed you. So sorry. Would love to have seen you. Don’t suppose you’re still in town?
I stared at the screen in nervous anticipation while I boiled the kettle, but no reply came.
Two hours later, cashing up complete and the team on their way home, I stood by the counter in the darkened shop and looked at the messages from the three Stevens. I realised I couldn’t face meeting any of them. The only person I really wanted to go out with was Nick. Maybe I blew it when I told him about Steven that first day in the pub.
I slowly typed in a message for Steven Fox then copied and pasted it into the other two message threads:
Thanks for your suggestion to meet up. Can I take a rain check for after Christmas? I’ve recently moved back here. My best friend from London is coming to stay for the weekend. We haven’t seen each other in ages and we’ve had this booked in for some time so it would be rude of me to cancel. Really sorry. Hope you have a fantastic Christmas. ‘Speak’ soon. Sarah
* * *
✉︎ To Clare
Thanks for your advice earlier. Decided not to meet any of them just now. Long story. Don’t suppose you can give that work do a miss and come up tomorrow night instead? Need cheering up xx
New Beginnings at Seaside Blooms Page 17